A couple of days ago The Oldham Evening Chronicle carried a story regarding Alcock the Almighty's Pot-Hole Moles. In the article, his immensity asked readers to call in and report dangerous pot-holes so they could be 'identified' and filled. Cousin Ruffyed, knowing of such a crater, wrote informing of it's whereabouts. He didn't think it would be a difficult hole to deal with and he had already 'identified it' so all that remained was to fill it. The letter was published in the OEC and Yed (as I call him) thought no more about it. U-n-t-i-l, checking the paper the following day he found it had disappeared, just like that, poof! What a mystery! If anyone comes across it, drop me a line and I will inform cousin Yed. In the meantime he has kindly sent me a photocopy which I reproduce here.
Dear Sir, or Madman,
I wish to report a dangerous hole. It is a short distance south of the promontory known as Alcock's Nose. It has been slowly increasing for some time now, but of late, it has become increasingly hazardous. It is now crammed with all manner of garbage, which, during the last bad spell of wether, got spread all over the borough. Unlike the grit! If the Pothole Voles need to identify it, I believe it is called Norman.
Yours, Ruffyed
PS. You don't think A£cock, Supreme being, ruler of the known universe, could have planted one of those 'Pot'ole Mole' thingies deep inside the OEC, do you? It could have been lurking there unseen for ages. What's known as a sleeper or in this town, a Councillor.
No comments:
Post a Comment