The pigsticker is dedicated to hunting down and skewering the incompetents and trough-wallowers in the country and Oldham in particular. If ya built with straw or sticks, I'll huff 'n' puff and blow your house down! If ya have feet of clay, beware the flood! If ya nose is deep in the trough, beware the PIGSTICKER!
TROUGHERS BEWARE! THE HUNT IS ON!
WHAT BIG TEETH YOU HAVE!
Bigger, sharper teeth than our ramblings in the on-line Oldham Evening Chronicle, which are being strangled by ever increasing censorship or moderation as they call it. We, the people of this town have no collective public voice to shout on our behalf, willing to question and challenge the lunacy visited upon us by the numpties in The Tower Of Babble, various thieving MPs, the legions of PC police at GMP, PAT'S, PACT'S, academy lovers, transport 'experts', vastly overpaid Council Officers from Charlie Chuckles downward, quangoes, placemen, do-gooders, do-badders, tree huggers, Brussels and Alcock! You get the idea? We intend to remedy this via the revamped Pigsticker. Now with added fibre. If any of you out there want to join us in restoring the town to it's former pleasant aspect, please feel free to submit articles. No moderation on this site!
"I welcome the opportunity to continue to campaign in Parliament for
jobs, social justice and the environment as well as to hold this Con-Lib
government to account."
"I bet there's some crackin' seckerties in th'ouse of Lards cant' wait for 'em givin' me staff of office a quick rub over and polishin' me desk and I'll still be able to claim for owt I want. Beats fuckin' workin' dunnit?" "Well I think it does I've never done any mesself. I were a tea lad on a ferry once. Terrible 'ard job that were, riskin' life an' limb with all that rollin' an' pitchin' and tossin.' Fair made you want to puke up your pies. "The tossin' were all right though, come to think of it." "Me and Pawline like live in a 'alf tempered 'ouse at moment. If I can fiddle claim a right lot on th' exes I'll gerrit done all over, then I can put me cote of arms over t' door." "It's a right work o' fart. It 'as three short planks rampant, over a mound of porcine ordure (worrever that is),pierced by a small arrer. Th'eralds tell me that signifies a tiny prick, the whole is surrounded by an 'alo of thirteen meat and potato pies en gravy (or lunch as I call it). Me motty motter along the bottom reads, Janus et Anus Sum."
My Lords Ladies and Gentlemen I give you, (and you're welcome to him),the fat, two faced, ignorant, bullying piece of secretary shagging shite:
What the fuckety fucking fuck is this infantile crap all about? These, believe it or not are the proposed 'mascots.' for our much anticipated ( by the tosser Coe, at least), London Olympics. The country is on it's knees and we are wasting billions on two weeks of 'compulsory games,' to show the world how good we are at coming fourth. Does it not make your heart swell with pride to see these representations of all that is best in this country. The names too, are the wet dreams of a failed ad man. Handjob and Mandelson Oh, sorry, Wenlock and Mandeville. Is this La La land crap the best we can come up with in this country? A bunch of primary school kids could have done better. What do they say about us to other countries? What sort of athletic or sporting connotations do they convey? What they do advertise is the tawdry, talentless, tat obsessed, reality-show mentality that has become the norm. I have no doubt that some 'creative consultants, brand makers and ad agencies' will have creamed off millions of our money to put together this pair of refugees from a nursery of nightmares. It strikes me, a lot, if not all the parasites employed in these 'jobs' are devoid of all talent and intelligence and would be better employed as PCSOs. Can we afford all this profligacy when we are staggering under the huge burden of debt, bequeathed us by the Scottish snot gobbler and his acolytes? I've just had a thought, the two little bags of shite have only got one eye. You don't think the tartan twat himself dreamed the fuckers up while he was barricaded in No 10, do you? Anyhow let them as want it pay for it! It is too much to pay just to keep Coe and the rest of the gravy trainers in champers. Get rid of these fucking joke additions to the Telly Tubbies. Let's have something WE can relate to and have pride in. By the way the blue one is in need of a Brazilian.(Much like Lord Fondlebum of Boy I suppose).
JH. So what exactly will us Tories be doing Howie?
HS Well Jackie baby, a lot of people have been asking that same question for many years, but the way I see it if you and your crony can organise the pink and orange, dandruff and belly-button fluff, re-cycling bins scheme and if you have any spare time you can take over explaining where Tommyfield has gone and how much longer the Town Hall will remain standing. This would then free up Me, Sykes the immovable and my cronies to run all the other mundane stuff. By the way, don't call me Howie you little Tory turd.
JH Sorry Howie, I'm just so excited at the prospects of so much power after all these years.
HS If all the power goes to your head and you make a fuck up of AllCock's carefully planned re-cycling schemes I'll get you fucking excited. Now get back to your closet office and stop making the place look untidy. By the way did I mention not to call me Howie?
JH You may have done Howeeeeee! Ow! That hurts. Squeezing like that could cut off the circulation.
HS Call me Howie one more time and it won't be your hand I'm squeezing. Here's something for you to do fuck off quick to the chippy for me elevenses. I've had nowt to eat since me tenses. Get me a double helping of everything. Another couple of inches on me gut and they won't be able to get me out the door. I'll be here for life, he! he! he!
JH Ok How...Sorry your Lardship I'm on my way. By the way when we go on the jolly fact finding mission to Torquay for the bin wagon expo, can I ride in the big new shiny car with you?
HS Can you fuck you cheeky little tosser! Two minutes in the frigging corridor of power and you think you own the place. That's my car, for me only, with nobody else in it, unless I can talk Kay, the peroxide piranha into accompanying me. I'd love to get her in a Dennis Kerbsider.
JH I didn't know she was interested in wrestling Howie... eeeeeee! Oooooh! that's nice. It's such a relief when you let go of them.
HS Fuck off you little scrote. Bother me again and I'll give you a chinese burn. If I need you again before the next election I'll send Charlie to find you. And don't forget, plenty of salt and vinegar, and you might as well get me three buttered muffins while you're there. No, make it four. All this work has made me peckish!
Isn't it about time unelected hangers-on were banned from parliamentary matters and from participation in Government. If the Government of the day hasn't got sufficient talent within the elected members, then tough, go suck wind! There are hundreds of overpaid loafers on the benches to fill all positions without having to slide in the likes of the ignorant, arrogant bully Campbell or the twice disgraced arse bandit, Lord Fondlebum of Boy. If these people want to be part of what they jokingly call 'the democratic process', then let them put their money where their mouth is and stand for election. WE the electorate did not vote for all these non-accountable pricks to be running the country. Same goes for non-elected PMs also. Let's filter the mud out of the water. Transparency is what we demand.
Another one bites the dust! Just a week or so after being re-elected to parliament, Eric Illsley, the Lab MP for Barnsley Central has been charged with false accounting. Yet another of the tub o' lard school of MPs who've never had a proper job, a union lackey, sponging all his life.
Illsley faces three charges under the Theft Act on suspicion of
dishonestly claiming £20,000 in council tax and other domestic charges
He will appear at City of Westminster Magistrates' Court on June 17
He's the fifth politician to be charged over the expenses
However, he is the only serving MP to have to face charges, after
others quit at the last election.
Keir Starmer, the Director of Public Prosecutions, said the charges allege that “Mr Illsley dishonestly claimed expenses in
to council tax, service and maintenance charges, repairs and insurance
charges, and utilities and communications charges for his second home
Renfrew Road, London”.
Illsley is alleged to have done this between May 2005 and April 2006,
between May 2006 and April 2007, and between May 2007 and April 2008.
Mr Starmer added: “In total the charges allege a sum in excess of
dishonestly claimed over this three year period.”
The figure is far higher than previously thought when Illsley's claims were first investigated.
Mr Starmer added: “Mr Illsley now stands charged with criminal offences
has the right to a fair trial.
A party spokesman said, 'The thieving bastard Illsley has now been suspended from the Labour Party.'
He and a few more should be suspended by the neck from Westminster bridge, "pour encourager les autres."
Keep up the good work, investigators.
Following the last tale of a shitehouse on the fiddle, how come nothing has been said about the accomplices of the thieving bastards, namely the fees office at the House of Conmen. If these faceless wonders hadn't condoned all the thievery fraud and deceit of the dishonourable members, they wouldn't have got away with it. It's just like everywhere else where public money is handled. It's not theirs so they don't give a shit. Some of these anonymous bastards need investigating. Don't tell me they never suspected any of the claims were bogus. See previous post Illsley: £20,000 over three years! And nobody said a dickey-bird?
Millions of British savers will find the value of their investments wiped out by the increase in the cost of living, financial experts said after a surprise jump in inflation to 5.3 per cent means that not a single savings account on the market offers an interest rate higher than the cost of living.
None of the 1,660 savings accounts offered by banks or building societies, including the most generous ISAs, offers a real rate of return of more than 5.3 per cent. This is the first time ever that no account has been able to match the rising cost of living, says personal finance website Moneynet.
The Retail Prices Index jumped from 4.4 per cent in March to 5.3 per cent in April. It is widely accepted as the truest measure of the cost of living because it includes housing costs. This is the highest level it has been since 1991.
Record prices at the petrol pumps, higher mobile phone and telephone bills, an increase in food and drink prices as well as rising mortgage rates and the cost of clothing are partly to blame. Also fuelling the increase were tax rises announced in Alistair Darling's last budget, which pushed up the price of alcohol and vehicle duty. The restoration of VAT to 17.5 % also increased prices on nearly all items on the high street.
Wage increases, which average just 1.9 per cent higher than a year ago, mean most workers are suffering from a significant fall in their standard of living.
Inflation damages savings, because even though the investment can increase in value, it cannot keep pace with the increase in prices on the high street.
Inflation creeps up on you. You think you are getting more money every year, through wage increases or interest earned on your savings, but when you go out and try to spend you money you realise you can't afford what you used to be able to. The bottom line is,
you end up poorer.
Interest earned by a savings account is taxed, so a bank account now needs to offer interest of at least 6.63 per cent for basic rate taxpayers and 8.83 per cent for higher rate taxpayers to make any real return.
There is not a single saving account in the country that offers more than 8 % and just one, from HSBC, that offers more than 6.63 %, but that account has a fee of £15 a month and you must make regular monthly deposits.
If VAT goes up to 20 per cent savers will be hit even harder.
According to the Bank of England the average savings account pays out a mere 0.18 per cent, while the average cash ISA is paying 0.46 per cent.
Most economists are hopeful that inflation has peaked and will start to fall over the next few months and that the Bank of England will not raise interest rates until next year.
Jonathan Loynes, chief economist at Capital Economist, said: "We continue to expect interest rates to stay where they are for a long time." Well ain't that just fine & dandy! Your all getting poorer whilst asleep in your beds. Who shall we blame for this one then? Who has had his chewed fingers on our finances for the past 13 years? Why none other than Gordoom McFuckwit Broon. His failure to act in time & to apply the correct measures means we are still in the recessionary shite.
Following on from the previous posting. Can anyone explain why, when interest rates are within a gnat's bollock of being zero, the cost of borrowing and credit cards, especially credit cards, is so high? It can't be the banks and finance houses ripping us off, can it? Can it?
A report this morning says gold prices could double again in the next five years. What price are we talking about? $3,000 an ounce! We did have quite a bit of gold at one time, but McFuckwit sold off 400 tons of it to raise money for his nefarious schemes. Well that should have raised quite a tidy sum I hear you say. It would have done but at the time gold was at it's lowest historical level, $250 an ounce. I work that out at a difference of $39.5 billion. So much for our greatest ever Chancellor. It was reported some weeks ago that he had to explain his reasons for the sale, which was against the advice of the Bank Of England, prior to the election. Has anyone heard anything? The silence is deafening! What did the fucking bagpipe fucker buy with the money? Fucking useless pissing Euros. How much have we lost on those? Whoever let the fuckwit anywhere near our money? He's fucking thieving Labour and Scottish. He thought it was his! Your Party Woolyarse and Meacher. Guilty by association!
It gets even worse folks! It turns out the one eyed, snot gobbling, pant pissing, Scottish tosser was spending every penny of our money even as his grubby chewed fingernails were being prised off the No 10 doorpost.
Labour ministers pursued a “scorched earth policy” before the election, by leaving behind billions of pounds spending commitments for the next Government to inherit, it was claimed. Members of the new Cabinet have discovered apparently unknown contracts and uncosted spending commitments left by the previous administration. Contracts signed shortly before the election, including a £13billion tanker aircraft programme. £420million of school building contracts. Acommitment to a £1.2billion “e-borders” IT project for the Home Office, which is late and over-budget. A £600million contract for a new personal pensions account scheme will also cost at least £25million even if it is cancelled, it was claimed. The Serious Organised Crime Agency was looking at signing a contract for its “2010 program”, which includes "equipment, services and systems for integrated information management and communications" worth £800million. Ministers have also been shocked by suggestions of a need for a cash injection at the Student Loans Company, which last year saw processing problems delay payments to students. There are also concerns that the multi-billion-pound cost of decommissioning old nuclear power plants has not been properly accounted for in Whitehall budgets. Senior civil servants are to get huge bonuses. It is estimated these costs will push the national debt to over 2Trillion. This is greater than the GDP of the country. Your children, your children's children and their children will be paying this debt off for years to come. This will entail hardships for all as severe cutbacks of up to 25% will be needed in the public sector as well as higher taxation
The tartan twat's Chief Secretary to the Treasury, the stinking piece of shit, Liam Byrne, left a note for his successor. It
read: 'Dear Chief Secretary, I'm afraid to tell you there is no money.
Kind regards and good luck!' The poisonous dick brain is a mate of the bent little fuckwit Woolyarse! Say no more! That's the sort of vindictive, thieving scum suckers you voted for again to run your country! YES I MEAN YOU WOOLYARSE. YES I MEAN YOU MEAC£ER! You are all guilty by association. Honourable members my arse!!
The fuckwit Scottish tosser Darlingis about to pile more huge bills on everyone on his way out the door. He is preparing to sign up to a massive new fund to back the euro
that will cost British taxpayers another £15 billion.
Is this what you wanted? Is this what you voted for? This is all part of the Lisbon treaty! You remember that? The treaty we were going to get a referendum on! The treaty that wasn't really a treaty! The one-eyed tartan twat said WE wouldn't understand all the technical details! Does it look like the two haggis shaggers understood it? This should be a wake-up call to those who voted for the Labour
Party? You voted for the twats. When your benefits, public sector pensions and money for education, hospitals etc., are cut or worse still cancelled you will rest much easier in your reduced circumstances, knowing all our wealth is going to support a worthy cause. Though looking at the local and national election results, it doesn't seem likely they'll wake up that much. They are anaesthetised by the benefits and the constant 'reality' shite, fed to them, whilst the Judas Goat leads them to the slaughter house.
YOU WOULDN'T! WOULD YOU? Please NO! If it comes to a toss up between the large round fleshy object and the intelligent life form, go with the latter. You can always eat it on a sarnie later on.
Have you seen Professor Pothole's CV.
'I am not a professional politician, I have had
many jobs from sweeping
factory floors, delivering milk, through to managing a business, and I
have been made redundant numerous times, so I have real-life experience
just like many of the people in the constituency.'
Translation: Last full-time job - milk monitor at secondary school. I have never had a proper job in the real world.. The few times I did manage to stir my fat arse into action, I was made redundant (translation:- sacked). I have no real experience of anything other than sponging off the taxpayer as a council trougher.
'I don’t have any
businesses to look after or any company directorships,
meaning that if elected I will be a full-time local MP working for the
people of Oldham West and Royton, which includes Chadderton.'
Translation: Too thick to start a business. Would probably have to sack himself on first day. Who, in their right mind would offer a company directorship to this thick, talentless lump? God knows we've seen what he is incapable of. Just imagine the doughboy as Pothole Potentate for the whole country! Imagine if he was made chief shi gritter for the UK. We'd be at a standstill until August while he weighed out five pound bags of salt,(one only for each local authority), then it would start snowing again. Oh, no! More potholes!
Our sympathies go out to the voters of OW and R. You're between a rock and a hard place. Use your vote wisely, folks. Light the fire with your ballot paper!
Look at the state of this raddled old fucker. Seventy-one years of age, supposed MP for Oldham West and Royton for FORTY FUCKING YEARS!!!! Liar, cheat, expenses fiddler and two faced bastard who can't stand the town and it's people. He can't wait to get back dahn sarf whenever he's forced to put in an appearance up in the wild north. OK let's make him really happy then. On Thursday send him back south permanently. Then maybe he can return to his roots and take up farm labouring like his father!! Forty years! What has he done for the town? Fuck all would cover it in my book. If you need reminding what he thinks he's done read my posting of 20/1/2010 'Here comes the election bandwagon.' The prick is too old for the job. Fuck him off and let's have some young blood on the scene. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!
7even to definitely avoid on Thursday! Yesterdays people. With yesterday's ideas. But you can bet they've all got today's greedy, grasping, trough stomping act down to a fine art, especially the ex head of the claim form army 'Beats working' Battye. You've got to admit they are not a pretty bunch of fuckers. Looks like someone did a real number on them with the ugly stick. Do we want this dross back? I don't think so. We showed them what we thought of them last time. You think they would have taken the hint. Don;t vote for a backward step on Thursday let's go forward with today's people not yesterday's cast-offs!
"Being the MP for Oldham East and Saddleworth is a serious job. It needs a professional approach. It does not need an amateur."OK in that case pack yer bags and fuck off back to Scunthorpe. You're not even an amateur, you're a clown, a laughing stock, a joke even within your own partyYou've made this town a laughing stock with your foolish antics. Remember the Gurkhas? Remember the Immigration lies? Remember the North-West? Remember the greedy grasping little shite and the expenses? £400 quid a month we pay for his food? This while the thieving fucker was drawing over £250,000pa in salary and exes. Remember the tampons, womens clothing , nappies, lipstick et al. By the way are you still wearing all the gear Philomena? Listen to more of his rambling garbage.
"It's 207 miles from my house in Sunnybank in Lees to the House of Commons. Most Sundays for the past 13 years I have made the journey in order to bring home the bacon to my constituents."
Hah! bacon that we pay for!
"On Thursday nights, when I return courtesy of the new North-West rail service, I make a note of what I’ve achieved for Oldham."How long before you're on line two of your little notebook? "We need to get rid of the abomination of unadopted roads."Yer right Woolyarse, I'm sick to me stumick thinking and worrying about them evil unadopted roads. "We should pull down derelict pubs."NO!!! There should not be any derelict pubs. That there is, is a direct result of Labour's disastrous meddling in our leisure activities to satisfy the peevish agendas of the interference brigade. You are the cause not the cure! "If you vote for me, you will get what you see."Yeah, a little, lying, thieving, talentless waste of time and space, who is so far up Gordoom Brown's arse he must be able to see the soles of Ed Ball's feet. "If you don’t vote for me, you don’t know what you’re getting."If we don't vote for you (and I don't think we will) at least we'll know we aren't getting shafted by one the thickest little pricks ever elected to that place of ill repute, The House of Conmens.
...It was a great stroke of luck really. We arrived just as they were looking for people to star in a show celebrating The Tiller Girls. I think we may have got the job, but only if the pay and conditions are acceptable. No! No! Just joking. We'll take it!
OUR PM HAS LOST THE PLOT - AND THE AUTHORITY TO RULE
LABOURis staring into the abyss. This Thursday it now seems likely that Gordon Brown will suffer the heaviest defeat ever inflicted on a British Prime Minister.
According to several of the latest polls, fewer than a quarter of voters back Labour, far behind the Tories and the Liberal Democrats. Never before in the history of Britain has a governing party slid into third place. But a crushing defeat would be no more than Labour deserves. After 13 years of the party’s mismanagement, lies, corruption, dogmatism and bullying, there would be a tremendous sense of justice in a mass expression of revenge by the British people against their arrogant socialist rulers.
Labour’s wretched election campaign has been entirely in keeping with their style of governance. All the worst characteristics of the party’s rule have been reflected in its dismal political operation over recent weeks. Mixing authoritarianism with childish propaganda, scaremongering with deceit, Labour has been both relentlessly negative and spectacularly incompetent.
It was not meant to be this way. Before the campaign started, Labour loudly boasted of the sophistication of its election machine. In Peter Mandelson and Alastair Campbell, the party was meant to have two of the great political geniuses of modern times. In practice, however, Labour’s campaign has proved as hopelessly dysfunctional as Brown’s own Cabinet. Mandelson and Campbell have behaved like embarrassing bunglers presiding over amateur night at the end of Southend Pier.
Weighed down by unprecedented unpopularity, Brown himself has proved a catastrophic figurehead, “pure poison on the doorstep”, in the words of one Labour activist. His sullen, broken appearance on the campaign trail has been like that of a political prisoner, shuffling from one safe house to another to avoid contact with the public.
The one occasion that Brown was allowed out to meet real voters ended, all too predictably, in disaster. The fall-out from his encounter with Rochdale pensioner and lifetime Labour supporter Gillian Duffy has been so explosive because it encapsulates everything that is repellent about both the Government and Brown’s own character. In his private condemnation of Mrs Duffy as “a bigoted woman”, we can clearly see Labour’s snobbish contempt for the ordinary, decent, hard-working people of Britain. When Mrs Duffy was told by a TV crew of Brown’s offensive comment, she could not believe it. Her jaw literally dropped. Her look of bewilderment at the cruel betrayal symbolised how working-class voters, the backbone of Britain, have been let down by Labour. “The thing is, I’m the sort of person he was meant to look after, not shoot down,” she said yesterday.
Those words should serve as an epitaph for Brown’s destructive premiership. Brown’s outburst epitomised the view of the trendy, metropolitan elite, whereby any opposition to uncontrolled immigration is seen as nothing more than racist bigotry. But, insulated by wealth and privilege, the socialist elite do not have to live with the consequences of their policies. While they blather about the joys of diversity and cheap nannies, the likes of Mrs Duffy have to cope with overstretched public services, rising crime and a breakdown in social cohesion. The incident was also deeply revealing of Brown’s own unedifying personality. He was exposed as an arch hypocrite: phoney smiles to her face; foul, misogynistic insults behind her back.
His epic self-pity in the aftermath was embarrassing. His supposed “mortification” was because of the damage he had done to Labour’s campaign, not the offence he had caused to Mrs Duffy. But this has been the pattern throughout Labour’s campaign and Brown’s premiership. The party that physically drags hecklers out of election meetings is the same illiberal outfit that tramples on our freedoms, introducing identity cards, employing armies of official snoopers and placing spy cameras in our wheelie bins.
Labour’s resort to childish election propaganda, using primary-school-type posters scrawled with messages such as “Don’t Forget to Vote Labour, Mum”, is in keeping with a Government that has tried to infantalise the entire public with lavish welfare benefits and an all-powerful state.
Labour's gross dishonesty in the campaign, especially its refusal to be straight about the ruin of public finances, mirrors the Government’s addiction to lies and spin, whether it be over the Iraq war or crime statistics. This is the Prime Minister who promised “an end to boom and bust” and “British jobs for British workers”.
As the final days of his premiership approach, he no longer deserves a hearing. Even in the television debates, Brown was misery personified, spouting off his distortions and Soviet-style statistics. The contrast with David Cameron was graphic. After a low-key start to his campaign, the Tory leader has peaked at just the right time. Despite the dire state of Britain’s economy, Cameron has exuded optimism and a sense of purpose. Unlike Brown’s shambolic effort, his campaign has a central theme, that of reducing the role of the state and restoring personal responsibility. Our country is crying out for a fresh start – and Cameron has shown he can provide it.