WHAT BIG TEETH YOU HAVE! Bigger, sharper teeth than our ramblings in the on-line Oldham Evening Chronicle, which are being strangled by ever increasing censorship or moderation as they call it. We, the people of this town have no collective public voice to shout on our behalf, willing to question and challenge the lunacy visited upon us by the numpties in The Tower Of Babble, various thieving MPs, the legions of PC police at GMP, PAT'S, PACT'S, academy lovers, transport 'experts', vastly overpaid Council Officers from Charlie Chuckles downward, quangoes, placemen, do-gooders, do-badders, tree huggers, Brussels and Alcock! You get the idea? We intend to remedy this via the revamped Pigsticker. Now with added fibre. If any of you out there want to join us in restoring the town to it's former pleasant aspect, please feel free to submit articles. No moderation on this site!

Sunday, July 31, 2011

THE FRENCH HAVE A WORD FOR IT! .... Yeah, it's 'Va te faire foutre'

Manchester's tram network is set to be taken over by RATP a French-government owned firm in a secret deal.
Stagecoach, which has run the Metrolink system since 2007, are to pull the plug despite having six years left to run on their contract.
 Latest accounts show Stagecoach Metrolink made a pre-tax profit of £4.1m in the last financial year on a turnover of £27m.
OK Brace yourselves folks. There's some bad news acoming from somewhere. What do Stagecoach know that TfGM don't?  What is coming that would cause them to walk away from a £4 Million plus profit, just as we are in the middle of a huge expansion of the system? Do they know it will not work? Is there a major problem with the operating system? They have six years left to run on their contract.
We were given to understand that Stagecoach tendered for this contract. Has RATP tendered for this contract?
If not how come Stagecoach can give it away to any Tom, Dick or Jean Paul? 
Who gave them the authority to give the contract to this French company?  Were TfGM consulted? Are TfGM accomplices in this?
As Stagecoach have reneged on their contract are they to be allowed to keep the profits or can TfGM claw it back to install RATP, or any other EU company?

Who is in charge TfGM or Stagecoach?


 An idea of the seriousness of this move can be seen in the fact that the leaders of Greater Manchester's ten local authorities were being briefed on the move in a behind-closed-doors meeting yesterday. They've never moved that fast in  years.

An announcement about the handover is expected to be made on the London Stock Exchange on Tuesday. That sounds like it's going to be good news don't it?

It is still unclear why Stagecoach wants to pull out with so long left on its contract. A spokesbody for TfGM said yesterday: "Transport for Greater Manchester will not comment on speculation about one of its business partners." What! Not even if it leaves them in the doo-dah when they hand the fucking job over to a bunch of Frogs without even so much as a kiss my arse or a merci blowthrough

The 'big bang' Metrostink expansion plans should have seen the network treble in size, with extensions planned for East Didsbury, Ashton-under-Lyne, Oldham, Rochdale and Manchester airport. A new line to Chorlton has already opened.

We guess that the leaders of the ten GM local authorities experienced a severe constriction of the sphincter when they attended yesterdays briefing. Note it wasn't just a meeting of TfGM, but all heads of local councils.
We can almost guarantee they didn't like what they heard. We can guarantee you ain't gonna like what's coming folks!!
This could boil down to the fact that OUR council stole our rail system in the hope of getting a financial reward from the Metrostink system and that reward is probably not going to be forthcoming! Prepare to say thank-you OMBC for another great fuck up!!

OOOoooH! smell that BULLDUST wafting in on the summer breeze!!!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

SILENCE IN COURT! ....Aye there will be no-one will turn up!

Whispers Developments, the owners of Royton Assembly Hall are being taken to court again in August by OMBC. Anyone want to take bets on them turning up? You would have thought that with their past record with court appearances Oldham Council would try and keep a low profile. After all they haven't paid for the Vance Miller fiasco yet, (have they?). Anyone heard anything further on that?  But no, not our eager legal eagles led by the ferocious tigers in that treasure house of litigation, the Council Legal Department. Onward ever onward is their motto. 

If the Council had received the £6,699, plus mounting legal costs, that Whispers Developments Ltd, were fined last time they didn't appear, then we could have used that cash to pursue them into not appearing again, but as we know that was never paid. Why has there been no concerted effort to rectify this?  If it were you or I owing even a groat to this bloody council, we'd have had bailiffs living with us permanently while they syphoned off every penny they could and sold our children into slavery!

Having failed to turn up to two meetings with Oldham Council officials to discuss the building’s future, the council is now taking enforcement action. 
Ten fucking years this has been going on!!! 
What have OMBC been doing over that decade? Trying to arrange TWO meetings!!! And NOW! they talk about enforcement action. What action?  What can they do?  Very little it appears. They can't put a compulsory purchase order on it. The council couldn't afford it anyway. They can't take over the premises and finish the job then claim the cost from the developers. Why? Because the developers are fucking skint! Read the details on these cowboys at Companies House.If they are skint they can't afford to finish the job. Will another company step in and purchase the rotting hulk? Unlikely. Who would pay them? Who would pay off the mortgage that is presumably hanging over the site? Who would buy the finished building? OMBC? Don't think so! What would the finished building be? How tall can minarets be? Another question. In 2002 Whispers bought the building for £215,000. From whom?  Oh yes, I see it now, it was from OMBC. What happened to the cash? How much is left? It's not all been frittered away has it?  That's almost a full three months council allowances!
Council leader Jim McMahon and Councillor Steven Bashforth will attend the hearing at Oldham Magistrates’ Court on August 1 to put an end to what they call “a sorry saga”. Well that makes us all feel a lot happier knowing we're in good hands. Would they care to inform us how they intend to do it?

Anyhow as we said at the start, they probably won't turn up, Whispers that is, not Little Jimmy Pudden Face and Gushforth. They have an unbeaten record in this competition:
Current scores - Whispers 5 OMBC 0

Don't forget you can keep track of this fast developing story via our Promise Clock in the right sidebar.  Seven days, The Gusher said. See how much time remains on our countdown timer. 

Perhaps while they are having their day in court the two amigos could pursue the owners of another building in the Borough that has been left derelict for a lot longer than Royton Assembly Hall. This is the large edifice with the neo-classical facade which is almost opposite The War Memorial on High Street. We believe it used to be called The Town Hall. Now it is purely a showcase for dozens of unique algae and lichens, not to mention the several sordid banners hung on it and the beauty of it's neo-bombsite wooden windows. You can't fucking fix that PuddenFace! Why are we not holding our breath over your latest foray into the dark underbelly of the law?  

We show another pic of the gothic horror with no apologies. We need to spread word of our treasures far and wide, for don't forget, Metrostink will be with us shortly (well maybe) and there will be hordes of sightseers descending on our picturesque habitat and gawping at our beautifully preserved historic sites. Probably a few scientists from Porton Down as well investigating the alien life forms clinging to the neo-festering edifice!


READ ALL ABOUT IT!! ...... New Oldham Newspaper The Lie-bor Chronicle!

Read the worst piece of fucking fawning, sick inducing brown-nosing published in this town in a long while!!

I'm Back - - - Click link to read the vomit provoking crap!


I’m back — and there’s unfinished business

Martyn Torr  Meets... TheCreature From The Cess Pit  Councillor John Battye, the Labourite Lie-bourshite who lives and breathes Oldham

Quite why we have been subjected to this full page biased diatribe at this time is unclear. Unless John Bacon Buttye is about to do another of his smash and grab raids on Oldham council as he did in Millenium year, when he stole the Mayoralty even though it was not his or even the Lie-bour party's turn to elect the Mayor.

The electorate soon got their revenge however and voted him out at the next election. There were whispered rumours of other shenanigans at the time. We had no worries about his defeat in the Millennium elections. We'd had enough of his allowance grabbing, his shiftiness, his take over of everything he could get his hands on.

Do we learn? Do we fuck!  The sheep of Failsworth West, unable to find a local candidate, if you can believe that,  had him foisted upon them and he was shoe-horned in by the local Lie-bour party.  

Wiping shit off his nose, reporter, or sycophant as we prefer to call him, Martyn Torr, taking a short break from his whitewashing job, said, "Before I go any further let me state, unequivocally, that this piece is not intended as a shot at Battye-esque redemption, or an attempt to rewrite history." Well tell us what the hidden fucking agenda is then Marty baby!

Torr said Buttye had told him he would never return to public life, yet here he is once again getting involved.  We told you he was a liar!!!

In an imaginative piece of investigative journalism he asked Ol' Blubber Lips, "Why are you back and where have you been since 2000?  Does Torr not keep up to date with current events?  Does he not read his own paper? This is the devious cunning, lying piece of shit who was instrumental along with that other fragrant lump of Lie-bour sewage, Fitzpatrick, in running the election campaigns of the other waste of oxygen, Woolyarse! This as you may recall resulted in the expulsion of said Woolyarse from parliament. You remember don't you folks? When Buttye was quoting Elwyn Watkin's supposed election expenses. Figures he had conjured out of thin air. When he was planting letters in the Oldham Chronicle purportedly from a slag of this town, later proved to be a benefit thief!

His answers, as you would expect from a consummate crook — for he is a Lie-bour man to his very core and thrives on the corruption of local politics and revels in the expenses trough — were bullshit  tinged with a hint of fuck-you!.

  “I'm back," he said, "Because a letter had been published in the Chronicle, by a member of the Liberal Democrats, which was about me and which I can only describe as vicious. I wasn’t in public life, hadn’t been for 10 years and yet I was the subject of this vitriolic attack.” Just shows how everyone else apart from the red flag fuck-pigs, hates him. Could he not take the hint??

"Why am I back,"  he asked “Unfinished business.”  Aye more allowances and jollies!!

He claims Latics would be up and running in their new stadium if the electorate hadn't seen the light and fucked him off.   He said, "The money was in place, the planning permission was in place and we had permission from the Charity Commission to develop Clayton playing fields."  The money was tax-payers money belonging to the people of Oldham and was from the sale of the old Westwood running track. This money, some £11Million has been living a very quiet life recently. Anyone out there know what happened to it??  The only planning permission was outline permission and the Charity Commissioners were never approached over this matter!!

He continued, "“We had verbal promises from BSkyB to use the stadium as their northern hub for parking of their outside broadcast vehicles and as a northern studio."  Not worth the paper it was printed on!!

He was educated at Hulme Grammar School — “I hated every minute" he recalls, they on the other hand are immensely proud of him and bask in the reflected glow of his probity and uprightness.  It was a lecture by the head teacher, H B Shaw, which has clearly had a lasting influence on his life. H B Shaw had a lasting influence on virtually every boy who passed or bent down before him.

Because of some Civics lecture that Harry Shaw gave, this little twerp ran home to his mummy and immediately joined the Lie-bour party.  Nowt to do with the tripe about generations of true red Lie-bour sheep or his father, Bernard Gravy Boattye, a former membership secretary of the party, and his grandfather, Percy Coattail, one of the Labour movement’s great movers and shakers.What did he move and shake then????  We'll skip the bit about mummy finding him a job and his endearing phone calls. It's too sick making! What a mummy's boy. Mind you we can tell that just by looking at his slapped arse face.

He also looks back on a full wallet which has encompassed the chairmanship of the Association of Greater Manchester Authorities, and a year as chair of Manchester Airport when it was spending £1 million a week completing Terminal Two and he was helping them.

Reporter: Martyn Torr .........
..........Who wants a good fucking for this arsehole creeping glorification of one of the biggest bent bastards ever involved in the running of this town. The man is a charlatan, a liar, a manipulator. He is devious and self-serving and will stoop to any level, or lower, to achieve his ends.
We don't know what possessed the OEC to print this toadying twaddle, but if any of you folk out there are in any doubt as to who's side your beloved rag is on. Read this and weep!!!

All we need now is for Jeremy Mithering Twat Sutcliffe to make a comeback and we will probably have a full commemorative edition, complete with photos. Photos will be available from your 'New Lie-bour Chron' office, prices reasonable, discount for quantity.

Possible other articles to follow 'I'm Back'

Jack Hulme ....'Where am I going?'
Diddy Dave Hibbert .... 'Back Shortly'
Ann Wingate .... 'Have I been away?'
Ian Barker .... 'There and back again'
Derek Heffernan .... 'The 'eadless 'orseman rides above'
Adrian Alexander .... 'Which way is it?'
Howie (FB) Sykes .... 'Cast your fat to the winds'
Peter Dean .... 'Where am I?'
Hugh McDonald .... 'I'm with him'


Sunday, July 24, 2011

A POUND TO A PINCH OF SHIT...... It'll be another ££££ store!

We have not seen any official announcements on latest developments in our town centre, especially in our fav Lie-bour mag The Oldham Chronicle. But this is probably to be expected as they are working flat out to sell as many photos as possible from their latest wheeze, the School Prom. This is an alien English concept shoved down our throats by the OEC when they discovered they could sell hundreds of pix of fat young girls in totally unsuitable frocks cavorting with accordion trousered yoofs wearing their first and probably last suit and looking as if they had only ever worn a tie to keep their pants just below their arses.  Our beloved paper probably tells 'em all how beautiful they are and not having any mirrors in their homes they swallow it all, hook line and sinker.

Anyhow we came across this below and in the absence of any official word on the future of our much beloved shopping centre we think there may be a clue somewhere in the ad. See if you can spot it.

The Prom photos may be severely curtailed in future years as a result of this announcement. It will be a big loss when the bespoke suit and frock deparment closes.

The nails are sliding into the coffin at an ever increasing rate. Will there be anybody left to attend the funeral??

YOU HAVE CUTS! ..................We also are struggling to make ends meet! I think this year they will meet in the Maldives!

The Thievin' Troughers are still at it!!!  £300,000 in expenses.

Oldham MPs claimed almost £300,000 in expenses between them during the last parliamentary year eleven months.
Figures released by the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority (IPSA) showed Ashton money sponge David 'Grabber' Heyes, whose constituency includes Failsworth and Hollinwood, claimed the most,  £131,226.90  between May, 2010, and the end of March, 2011.
He was closely followed by Michael 'Mickey Ten-Houses' Meacher , MP for Oldham West and Royton, who hoovered up £130,215. Debbie Abrahams, who was only voted into the Oldham East and Saddleworth MP seat on January 14 following Oldham’s historic by-election, managed to scoop a mini-jackpot with a claim for £22,756.78.  Didn't take long for her to get the gravy train re-routed, did it?

The highest individual payout item went to Meac£er who claimed £105,478.19 on staffing costs. Staffing fucking costs??  Who the fuck are these people he is employing?  How many the fuck are there??  What the fuck are they doing??  Meac£er does fuck all so why he needs 105 grands worth of staff to assist him do it beats us!   For that sort of money he could employ  Woolyarse. Oh, Shit!  Many a true word spoken in jest!  But, knowing this devious set of wankers, would you be surprised if it were true folks?

  • MPs earn a basic salary of £65,738.   
  • David Lammy (Lie-bour, Tottenham) claimed the most allowances with  £173,922. His second home in the constituency and travel between there and Westminster probably swallowed most of that
  • Heyes troughed  £65,738 + £131, 226.90 = £196,964.90 Over the period this amounts to £600 per day. Note his exes are almost exactly twice his salary again.
  • Meac£er, the 'rent boy' conned his way to  £65,738 + £130,215.21 = £195, 953.21 -  Per day this = £597    Exes twice salary again! Is he still claiming for mortgage payments after 41 years???
  • Abra£ams  In office just 76 days glommed pro-rata salary  £13,688 + £22,756.78 = £36,444.78 - per day this = £479  Didn't take her long to learn the ropes!
  • Best 'til last?  Disgraced and disgraceful Former Oldham East and Saddleworth MP Phil Woolyarse, the lying, conniving thieving little bastard who lost his seat when a court ruled he had broken election rules, claimed £37,572.71 in winding up costs and a total of £107,523.98 in expenses claims from May 7 to November 5, 2010. This in addition to pro rata salary for the same period of  £32,799 = £177,896 This equates to £977 per day paid to the slimeball. Yeah! Read that again folks! Almost a grand a day for the little shite!  His expenses for just under half a year are almost what he claimed in previous years for the full term! Is there an explanation for this? Or was he just grabbing as much as he could before the lid of the treasure chest slammed shut?  Projected over the full year he would have been claiming about £215,000 in exes if he hadn't had such a stroke of luck getting involved with Messers Battye and Fitzpatrick. Oh, happy day!  Do you ever wonder if you are in the wrong job???
Question: Why did little Woolyarse get winding up costs? These are designed for MPs who leave Parliament, either through retirement or being defeated in an election. Which did the little slimeball come under? The man was sacked, evicted, ejected, fucked off by the courts, he left in disgrace. How come he qualifies????
  The IPSA, which administers and regulates MPs’ expenses, refused to reimburse two train ticket claims by Meac£er totalling £87.40. Probably off collecting his rents!
They also refused a general administration claim by Heyes for £129.84.
Heyes was also only reimbursed £530.16 for a general administration claim of £660. The deduction amounts to the mysterious £129.84. What can you get for £129.84?
But, listen to this,  39 claims from 35 MPs were either not paid in full or not paid at all. Out of 650 of the most bent bastards in the country 615 of them collected on the thousands of claims submitted bar 39? Do us a fucking favour IPSA, pull the other one. We're not all fucking stoopid!!

MPs claimed a total of £70.6 million in parliamentary expenses over the financial year. Between the lot of them that works out at £108,615 apiece. I'm sure we could find better things to do with the money.
In Oldham there are lots of places we could have used the £607,259 wasted on our three and a half Members.  Maybe we could have spent it on 'consultants' to research the possibility of having a leisure and entertainment complex alongside the Metrostink at Mumps!!!!!!




Another little gem from our friend Captain Ranty

Dear Whitehall.....

I was delighted to read yesterday that you have instructed your minions to find ways to improve the nation's happiness quotient.

I am equally delighted to offer you some suggestions. Please see the list below, which is not exhaustive, but will increase my personal happiness by a factor of 10,000 if all are achieved by say, next Friday.

In no particular order:

  • Leave the EU. Tear up ECA 1972.
  • Stop giving millions of £££'s to countries that run a space programme.
  • Cancel all cheques for foreign aid.
  • Buy aircraft for our carriers.
  • Retrain the police force so that they do not see every citizen as an uncaught criminal.
  • Scrap around 99% of those unnecessary statutes.
  • Reduce the size of government to two ministers-one for defence and one for foreign relations
  • Slam that immigration door. Round up illegals and deport them.
  • Sack hundreds of thousands of NHS mandarins. Employ cleaners instead.
  • Remove benefits for those indolents that refuse to work.
  • Take better care of our returning, injured service people.
  • Root out, and shoot, all paedophiles.
  • Reduce income tax to 5%.
  • Reduce the price of petrol to 10p per litre.
  • Rescind the smoker ban.
  • Delete any plans relating to the carbon tax insanity.
  • Build more power stations.
  • Cap the cost of electricity and natural gas.
  • Take better care of our young, our sick, and our elderly.
  • Privatise the BBC
  • Stop giving taxpayers money to "charities".
  • Stop, and I really do mean stop, interfering in our lives.
Got it?


This is only a start. I will have a new list for you when you have completed this one. My commenters here may have some additional suggestions. Read the comments and make them happy by doing as they instruct you.

Yours sincerely,

Captain Ranty (Retd).            GO PAY HIM A VISIT FOLKS!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

I DON'T LIKE THE PRODUCT. .... but I have a huge photo collection of the containers!

 Former  leader of the council Fat Bastard Sykes, believes Oldham has been made a national “laughing stock” after a woman was told she couldn’t breastfeed her child in the civic centre.
FB, now leader of the opposition, believes the council’s handling of the issue , was too little too late.
He said: “Nobody told me about this until too late, I'm big enough to handle any issue no matter from where it emanates. Oldham is once again a sucker for bad news."
“Some of us have spent lots of time and effort to change people’s perceptions of Oldham over the last few years. This has made us look like we are back in the dark ages.”  What exactly do you mean, by 'back' your immensity?  Did we miss the age of enlightenment in the town by some slippage of time? As for the town being made 'A laughing stock', how can this be possible? Does one hear folk cackling mirthfully when the name of the town crops up? Most people we've met hold their head in their hands, groaning and wailing like lost souls when  the "Village of The Damned' is mentioned. Maybe, just maybe, there is a remote community, Africa or Polynesia perhaps where this news would be greeted with ribald laughter. It's possible as this latest 'good news' from the Rotten Borough was broadcast halfway round the world. As though we haven't got enough millstones around our necks!
Exhibitionist Emma Mitchell (32), from Shaw, was outraged at being told to go to the Spindles and Town Square shopping centre to feed her baby, Aaron, after being told the council’s headquarters was a “multicultural centre”. And here's us thinking it was A Civic Centre, the council's HQ and allowances distribution centre.
Under UK law, mothers can breastfeed in public whatever the baby’s age. Our 'little baby' was forty this year. I'm going to see if I can get him and his dear Mama up to the Civic Centre sometime soon for light refreshments. It may be a little difficult as she would have to unfasten her belt to get at the feeding implements. But, hey-ho life is not always a bowl of cherries.
The story has since been broadcast by national and international newspapers and TV. Just what we needed, more good news!
OMBC are implementing measures for the future. Leader of the council, Counc Jimmy 'Pudden-Face' McMahon told the meeting that the incident was a “cock-up”. N-o-o-o, Little Jim, the cock-up is what necessitated the pause that refreshes. This was more of a 'bust up' if you ask us Puddy.
He said:  “What we do is  employ people and trust them to get on with their job in the most appropriate way — making sure the policies are in place and training is provided.”
Little Jimmy baby, more bad news: The policies are NOT in place and the training like most things involving trains in Oldham has been scrapped.
In protest at the Council's actions a group of young mothers staged a 'feed in' at the Civic centre. This further enhanced the image of Oldham in the eyes of the world. Does anyone know of a City, Town or Village anywhere in the known world that has managed to fuck up so many things in so short a time with so much attendant publicity? 
Later, an un-named council employee, Mr Harry Oller said, "I haven't seen so many tits in the civic Centre since the Lib-Dems ran the place."

Friday, July 22, 2011

BLOGGER ME!! .... What makes Oldham sick - -sorry tick?

Hackers, believed to be recently employed by the News Of The World have managed to get behind the facade of our leader Jim Pudden Face's so called blog. We shall gleefully publish the real thoughts of the Red Muppet as he attempts to string us along with this latest attempt at trying to be 'one of us'. 

Before we publish his secret ramblings there are a couple of questions we need him to answer.

 1. Is he thinking up and writing all the tosh we have seen so far, in his own time, or, as usual, are we paying through the nose for a jumped up wanker of a nobody to swan around at our expense?

2. Why is he using the old Oldham coat of Arms on his 'Blogsite'?? 

We quote from the official Oldham Council Website:

Oldham Metropolitan Borough Coat of Arms

The Oldham Coat of Arms

"The Mayoralty of Oldham is the only office approved to use the Borough’s Coat of Arms.'

Is little Jimmy P also the secret Mayor of the Rotten Borough ? Is Dick Knowless just a front, (well yes we know he is a cottage front, but that is a subject for future blogs). Has he got ideas above his station?? Oh sorry! Forgot we have no stations.
So we would like to remind the jumped up little allowance gobbler exactly what his Coat of Arms looks like.

YEP! That's right it's the same piece of shite the rest of us have to put up with after you and your fellow escapees from the Barmpot ward, paid a bunch of Scam Artists £100,000 of OUR money for this intricate design. Seriously folks do you think this piece of juvenile crap is worth 100 grand of our money? This equates to the council tax from 100 homes!  But, what the hell! The town is thriving, all is rosy. We have full employment. The town centre is a bustling hub of commerce. We are spoiled by the abundance of leisure facilities and amenities. We can travel to all parts of the globe on a whim. Aye, on a whim maybe but not on a fucking train since you and the other feebles cut us off from the world. So Jimmy baby, this is your and our symbol of the dynamic borough. Use the turquoise Polo Mint, Jimmy, we have to. By the way have you noticed it's similarity to a big fat ZERO! Quite apt for a town that has virtually fuck all left.

Blog The First
    Welcome aboard all you lovely tax cows, suckers and gluttons for punishment sensible Lie-bour voters, who voted for Me...Me...Me our glorious party in the local election. To know that 21% of the electorate is right behind you is a comforting thought. I shall do my utmost to rip you off  justify my huge allowances and will be making as many savings as possible. Here you see me, in front of my that Coat Of Arms again, making a start as I cut up previous leader, Fat Bastard Syke's 'vinegar strokes' loyalty card from Shaw Chippy.  In the short time he was in this, MY rightful office, the fat cunt managed to accumulate 368,000 points. Enough for 247 full fish suppers (with unlimited peas) or free chips for the next 12 years and unfettered use of the salt and vinegar. WELL!! he's not going to get them. I've seen to that. At a time when ordinary residents are struggling to pay their Council Tax and Bailiffs charges, not to mention other household bills, I think it sends out the wrong message for an elected Fat Bastard Politician to have this facility. It was a 'no-brainer' for me, Jimmy No-Brain. Another part of our new approach, entitled, 'Our new Approach' began on Monday. We took the Cabinet out of the Civic Centre, but none of the second hand furniture dealers would give us more than 2 quid  so we dumped it in a back alley in Allcock's (by name not nature), ward. We met for the first time outside The Tower Of Babble and approved plans to re-open Limecroft Day Centre in the building itself. I didn't tell the rest of the morons Cabinet my plans but I intend to make it a secure facility and have already ear-marked some of the cells tastefully decorated suites for the non-believers who were present.
If you have any questions, topics or comments you would like me to cover in future blogs, forget it! This is My blog, MINE and I'll write what the fuck I want and you lot can go fiddle with yourselves.

Thanks for being talked at:

Little Jimmy Pudden-Face

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

IT'S ACTUALLY AN OPTICAL ILLUSION MADAM .... Oldham is flatter than Norfolk in parts.


First pictures of the new "Whisk-A Tomic" integrated public transport system. Designed to move shoppers quickly between the Town Centre Car Park at Cannon Street and the Town Centre at the.....errr! Town Centre.  Responding to criticism that Cannon Street is hardly the Town Centre, a Council spokesbody  said, "It all depends on what you mean by Town Centre, we, in infrastructure forecasting, foreclosing and urban degeneration consider 'Town Centre' to be a fluid concept."  (Yeah and you've flushed the whole shooting match down the shitter. ed)

They thought long and hard. They burned the midnight oil up in that monument to Soviet Concretism, The Tower of Babble. Half an idea was refined and polished over many hours of allowance gathering. Until, at last there was unanimity among the bunch of nincompoops, they would let little Jimmy Pudden Face have his own way, (mainly we think to stop him stamping his feet and holding his breath 'til he looked like a boiled pudden.). And what plan did the masters of the universe come up with for the Cannon Street site? A drive thro M&S? The world's largest chip shop? A multi-storey skating rink?  An after-school club for pre-school infants and lippy teenagers who can't even write their own name?  A Playboy Bunny Club?  Nope, none of these folks! One dim spark of a Council chair polisher thought it might be a good spot to build a new stadium for Latics, until it was pointed out to him that the plot was only half the required length. He wasn't easily dissuaded  pointing out the savings to be made if they just built half a pitch and had both sides play toward the same end with goalkeepers swapping position depending on the colour of shirt approaching.  But no! Our erected representatives are made of sterner stuff. So what long awaited delight are we to savour?  What boon to the hard pressed folk of this burg has been unveiled? Wait for it folks.....Wait for it!!!! Are you ready?  OK we've kept you in suspense far too long here it comes!!! (Loud fanfare from the massed trumpet of the OMBC official 'Blow your own trumpet band') 

A NEW town-centre car park has opened on the site of the former Cannon Street Health Centre.

Well, piss-my-pants!!!!!  Just the fuck what we needed!!!
Did you notice the deliberate mistake in that headline? That's right our numb-bollocked pile of arsewipes think Cannon Street is in the Town Centre. It isn't. The town centre is up a 'gentle incline' that just happens to be the steepest hill in that part of the mountains. It's also, a two raincoats and an umbrella and still pissed through, distance from the Town Centre in the rainy season (June).  It probably feels a lot farther when the weather is really bad in the Oldham winter (July to May).

The oxygen wasting bastards said they hope the site, along with adjoining assets, will attract redevelopment of the area bounded by Cannon Street, Manchester Street and Oldham Way, including the former Sainsbury’s site. Oh, WOW!!! That could almost quadruple the number of parking spaces while at the same time pushing the southern boundary of our car parking First Reich operation ever closer to our goal of integration with the Manchester City Council Shudehill (Northern) Expansion Scheme. This plan envisages a continuous linear car park from Old Trafford to half-way up Standedge Cutting. This say the experts will ensure that no-one will be able to complain, 'there's nowhere to park".
Exciting future plans were revealed when it was disclosed that if just two more stores in Spingles close their doors, we can demolish the lot along with all of Yorkshire Street, (apart that is from the Old Town Hall which is being mooted as a pay station for the new extended car park) We should be able to accommodate thousands of cars when we get that lot sorted out. A few tons of tarmac and them gyppos will have us in the money in no time. People will come from miles around to park and watch the empty trams trundle past. (Oh, happy day @ £1.40 per hour)

Counc Diddy Dave Hibbert, cabinet member for Arseing, Traipsing and Degeneration, said: “These
proposals are a real boost for all the parties who are working together to help regenerate our town centre.
Explain exactly, Diddy, how this wets the panties of the know-nowt achieve-nowt denizens of the dark underbelly of  this fly-blown excuse for civilisation? What exactly is it supposed to do for us, the poor bastards mugged by you and your congenital defects on OMBC. Why the fuck should we be dancing orgasmically in the streets? What the fuck is there left in Oldham town centre to come and park for? But don't you worry you simple tosser. The town is dying around your idea-less arseing about and all you mongs can think about is 'Another fucking car park.' Are you completely fucking barmy????????

Two beauties to end with, from the Diddy dave book of quotes for single celled organisms.

“No one wants to see a derelict building in the town centre fall into disrepair and become an eyesore." 

WHAT!!!!! Listen you fuckwad. take a walk into what is left of Oldham town centre. Walk up to the Memorial To Our Glorious Dead (It's next to the Greaves Arms if you've never been), salute those gallant citizens of this town, who gave their lives, that we may live in this squalor. Then turn around 180 degrees and LOOK AT THE FUCKING SHIT HEAP YOU HAVE ALLOWED OUR TOWN HALL TO BECOME,  YOU PARASITIC MONEY SPONGING WASTE OF SPERM!!!!!!

“The creation of the new car park will also mean there are more spaces for motorists to use when they are coming into the town centre to shop or work.”

SHOP??? Where the fuck at?? Everywhere is closing down you stupid twat! You've STOLEN our market! The only bastards employing anyone in the town centre would seem to be our local dishonourable MPs judging by the amounts being claimed for running constituency offices, and you fucking lot with your myriad managers who can't manage, executives who need executing and hangers-on who need fucking well hanging.
Anyhow, never mind Diddy baby something will probably turn up and save us, eh?

A word of warning though: If you think you see a light at the end of the tunnel - Run like fuck - It's an oncoming train!!


Monday, July 11, 2011

IS THIS COMPANY RUN BY EX OLDHAM COUNCILLORS? - Or are they just run of the mill crooks?

OLDHAM Council is taking further legal action against Royton Assembly Hall’s owners Whispers Developments after they failed to attend talks yesterday over its future.
Council leader Jim Madman  had previously arranged talks on June 15 and they didn't turn up then either.
He said: “The continued lack of a meaningful response from Whispers is evidence that they are either indifferent as to the blight the hall is having on the community or simply not competent enough to sort it. Either way, our patience has run out." From Jim Bob!  Not competent enough to sort it? Indifferent to the blight etc.? TEN FUCKING YEARS this has been going on you cocksucker!!!  Look in the freaking mirror you fucking moron. Ten years you and your accomplices on West Street have let this drag on. Not your fault is it Jimmy Boy?? No it never is!!!!

Pudden face then continued, "Today I have instructed officers to begin court proceedings against the developer and they should be under no illusions as to our resolve in bringing this saga to an end."  “This matter is a priority and we will not budge from that stance.”   "Well, 'appen a bit, but not a lot mind."

Oh no, gawd 'elp us! Which officers has he instructed one wonders in dread anticipation? Surely not the all conquering 'Vance Miller' crew?  That local treasure the Borough Solicitor, perhaps. If he isn't suffering repetitive strain injury from all the road works/closures/diversions he's been signing off lately. You would think OMBC would be very wary of pursuing anyone into court especially as their fingers are still blistered. By the way anyone heard anything further on how much the tossers let us in for over the Miller fiasco?  

Councillor Stephen Gushforth said: “The failure of Whispers to turn up for this meeting is an insult to the people of Royton. Oh, so the behaviour of OMBC  and the Royton Councillors over the last ten years of inaction isn't an insult to the people of Royton?

“On numerous occasions over the years Whispers have repeatedly ignored our pleas to sit round a table and discuss the hall’s future.”  They also ignored the courts and haven't paid the last fine imposed on them, which with costs now amounts to £6,700, so they are not likely to be trembling in their boots at not meeting Jim Bob and the pussies posse from hell. Mind you that's not the only thing Whispers has failed to do!




M3 1LN

Develop & sell real estate
Buying & sell own real estate

Companies House Details

Companies House Number: 04850027
Incorporation Date: 29 Jul 2003
Latest set of accounts: Filed on: 16 Jun 07
Made up to: 31 Jul 05

Last company return showing the directors and ownership details: Filed on: 10 Dec 2010
Made up to: 29 Jul 2010

Financial Year End31-07
Capital: £1.00 (as at 10 Dec 2010)
Accounts Overdue(as of 10 Jul 2011)

35 Company Documents Available

24 May 2011 DISS16(SOAS) - Compulsory strike off suspended
15 Mar 2011 GAZ1 - First notification of strike-off action in London Gazette (Section 652)
11 Dec 2010 DISS40 - Notice of striking-off action discontinued
10 Dec 2010 AR01 - Annual Return of company information (NOT ACCOUNTS)
23 Nov 2010 GAZ1 - First notification of strike-off action in London Gazette (Section 652)

Previous Company Names

Charges / mortgages against this Company

Information last updated: 10 Jul 2011

PS    Don't forget to check the seven day countdown clock in the right sidebar to see the lightning fast response team  from OMBC in action inaction.


Sunday, July 10, 2011


WORKERS at BAE Systems in Chadderton were told last Thursday that the historic site is to close — with the loss of all remaining 200 jobs. Another piece of Oldham history flushed down the shitter of  'progress'.  Watching the slow demise of this once thriving town is probably much like watching the extinction of the dinosaurs. With ever increasing pace once familiar and well loved institutions in the town are disappearing from the face of the earth. What is replacing them??  In no particular order:- Pound Shops- Fuck All - Derelict and abandoned buildings - Apathy - inertia - Pound Shops - Metrolink Escape route - Kebab Shops - Tents in the streets - Pound Shops - Car parks - Youth Clubs with  seman diputs - also don't forget the Pound shops!

Outside the BAE site  Oldham Councillor Dave Hibbert, cabinet member for arseing, traipsing and degeneration, said: “This is a disaster for the people who work here and their families. “We have officers in the degeneration department ready to advise these people on what jobs are available and what benefits they can get.  Oooh, Diddy Dave, can you tell the rest of us what fucking jobs are available in the great wasteland? See, once again Lie-bour cannot think further than 'benefits'. This obsession with adding to the client state and they hope, their voter base, has now become ingrained in their collective psyche. They never see what's coming. There is no advanced planning, (no planning at all as a matter of fact). They are the proverbial shit cart at the rear of the Lord Mayors Parade, sweeping up the ordure left by their inaction, lack of vision and lack of any direction in which to lead the town. The trouble is most of the ordure joined the Lie-bour party and is now stinking out the Council Chamber.

The stupid little tosspot continued, “The closure will have no impact whatsoever on the local economy but it’s a sad day for Chadderton and Greater Manchester.”  No impact you moronic little twat? What about all the local small businesses who will lose trade. What about the local ancilliary workers, cleaners, security etc.? What about the loss of business rates?

We recently blogged on a report that there were more than 770 vacant commercial premises in the town. How much is being lost in business rates there? 225 of these premises are in what remains of the town centre, which wasn't that big to start with. Now we have TJ Hughes going down the  plughole. Thorntons will almost certainly pull out when their lease expires. The Jane Norman concession in Debenhams has failed. Can it be long before Debenhams pull out of the town? Walked through a couple of weeks ago, the place was empty. The prices are probably too high for PoundShop Oldham.  Mike Flanagan, manager of Spindles and Town Square shopping centres and away with the fairies, said, a couple of weeks ago, just after JJB,HMV and Disney legged it into the night,  "There is some room for optimism in a stable retail sector."  S-T-A-B-L-E!! Three of his biggest names had just fucked off and he thinks that is stable!  What now? One end has fallen off his world, t'other end is wobbling and several in-between are looking very unsteady on their feet.

Mike, baby, you are wearing the Emperors new clothes.  If the promised heavy rains arrive and you see a straw gliding past snatch it and ride it out of town.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

'OPERATOR- WE'VE GETTEN A BLAZE GOOIN' ON DAHN NEAR'T DOG.' .. "This is at Belle Vue?" 'Nah, yer pillock, dahn bi Cowhill!' "Is it a farm on fire?" 'Nah! yer great whazzock it's int' chip 'oyle!'

 Plans to route all Oldham’s 999 fire calls to Warrington were a “comprehensive failure” costing the taxpayer more than £1 million a year for rent on an empty building, a damning report has said.
The National Audit Office said the Fire control project launched by the previous Lie-bour government, was flawed from the start because it did not have the support of fire and rescue services.
Greater Manchester's current call centre was set to close under Lie-bour’s plans to streamline the current  46 local control rooms into nine centres, to improve the country’s ability to respond to terrorism, large-scale industrial accidents and natural disasters.
The entire North-West would have been dealt with from Warrington.

The coalition dumped the plans, which were initially expected to cost just £100m.last year, seven years after it started, but the NAO report revealed that at least £469 million had been wasted.

IT systems had never been delivered and eight of the new control centres remained empty and costly to maintain, said the report. London is the only centre being used.

It means the building purchased in Warrington is costing a staggering £99,792 a month — more than £1.19 million in rent a year but remains empty.

The Government has outlined a series of options for the future of the fire service but warns that it is tied into leases of up to 25 years on the regional buildings and if they are left empty that will mean a cut into the budget available for the brigades.

The National Audit Office report says: “Ineffective checks and balances during initiation and early stages meant the department for Communities and Local Government committed itself to the project on the basis of   inaccurate estimates of costs and benefits and an unrealistic delivery timetable, and agreed an inadequate contract with its IT supplier.

“The department under-appreciated the project’s complexity, and then mismanaged the IT contractor’s performance and delivery.

“The department failed to provide the necessary leadership to make the project successful, over-relying on poorly-managed consultants and failing to sort out early problems with delivery by the contractor.”  Once again we see Lie-bour being shafted by 'consultants'. These money grabbing bastards can see Lie-bour  coming a mile off and immediately send off for their brochures for exotic foreign holidays.

Communities Secretary, Eric Pickles, said: “This official report represents another damning indictment of Labour’s track record on expensive IT projects. It is no surprise that Labour led the country to the brink of bankruptcy when they can’t even manage the spiralling costs of a misguided project.” Pickles owd lad, most of 'em can't manage to walk and talk at the same time, never mind lead anything or anyone. (That Pickles has come on a bit since he found the World Cup, hasn't he?)

Have you seen the fucking outrageous sums we are talking about here?  Original cost est. £100M. Actual outlay total fucking waste of our money at termination, £469M! That's about 8 quid for every person in the country. For what?? Nine twatting control rooms! NINE!!

But it gets better. The tossers took  out a twenty-five year lease on a building in Warrington to house this arse of a scheme. Rent? £99,792 per month, £1,197,500 per year!  Over the twenty-five years if we are lumbered with the fucking white elephant for the full term of the lease, that's another         £29, 937,600!

But wait! There are seven more of these useless fucking things dotted around the country. If they all cost approx the same, and , knowing Lie-bour they will have. Rent for all nine would be approx £898K per month, £10.75M per year, £269M over 25 years. For what? ONE control centre in guess where? London! And all it will have cost US, is £738,000,000! Three quarters of a Billion Quid.
Next time anyone tells you Lie-bour are not a totally incompetent money squandering set of tossers. Poke 'em in the eye with a sharp stick!


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