WHAT BIG TEETH YOU HAVE! Bigger, sharper teeth than our ramblings in the on-line Oldham Evening Chronicle, which are being strangled by ever increasing censorship or moderation as they call it. We, the people of this town have no collective public voice to shout on our behalf, willing to question and challenge the lunacy visited upon us by the numpties in The Tower Of Babble, various thieving MPs, the legions of PC police at GMP, PAT'S, PACT'S, academy lovers, transport 'experts', vastly overpaid Council Officers from Charlie Chuckles downward, quangoes, placemen, do-gooders, do-badders, tree huggers, Brussels and Alcock! You get the idea? We intend to remedy this via the revamped Pigsticker. Now with added fibre. If any of you out there want to join us in restoring the town to it's former pleasant aspect, please feel free to submit articles. No moderation on this site!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

KISS MY ARSE! SAYS BROON - Woolyarse sticks his nose in!

Christine Pratt,  founder of the National Bullying Helpline and the one who blew the whistle on the charmless mental fucker Broon and his tantrums, today found herself the focus of an aggressive personal attack by Woolyarse,  the Irritation Minister.  In a thinly veiled threat he called her 'a prat of a woman'  and  insinuated that she would regret her actions. Such sweet talk from an 'Honourable Member!   He is reported as saying, " It's a tough business, politics. It's 18, 20 hours a day that people like the Prime Minister work."  What the flying fuck has that to do with the tartan twat's verbal and physical abuse of staff and anyone else unfortunate to come within range of the prick's temper?   He continues, " I think this attack on him (The One Eyed, Snot Gobbling Scottish Barm Pot), by this prat of a woman down in - where's she from, Swindon? - I think that will backfire on her."
Everything the little tosser does backfires on this town.  As though we haven't got enough troubles. The town has become an embarassment. No wonder the rest of the country regards Oldham as synonymous with the worst of places to exist.  They look upon us as brain dead morons. What other impression is there, when we are seen to tolerate the lunatic utterings and acts of the utterly talentless, foot-in-mouth, conniving, snivelling, greedy, arse licking  toady,  elected by the voters of Oldham East & Saddleworth.
If there's any firing, back or otherwise, it should be the little twat from down in - where the hell's  he from?  Oh yes I remember,  put the cunt back in S****horpe!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


'Ere we go again with that little wankstain Woolyarse electioneering for all he is worth, (actually he is worthless, any worth he has is all ours, stolen from us by chitty).  The tiny twat is now backing the set of  morons, calling themselves, 'The Birks Quarry Action Group.'  The action this set of 'burkes' is proposing is that we, the squeeze-dried, wrung-out, overtaxed poverty stricken bastards, of this town, cough up and buy a fucking big hole in the fucking ground for them to play in.  Allcock the ubiquitous, council  cabinet member for almost everything in the known universe,  in a rare moment of lucidity,  has already told them there is no cash for holes. Woolyarse,  the greedy, grasping, little tosser has now written to OMBC describing the decision as ludicrous. He says, 'Bringing the quarry into public ownership would end this long running saga..'
If the gobshite actually lived in the town, instead of playing his first and second home scams,  he would know we are  now two levels below fucking skint.  The only possible benefit of this hole to the town, would be if we could bury Woolyarse,  Meac£er,  Heye$,  Sy£es,  Allcock,  Charlie 'Turd'  Parker and all the rest of the thieving  council parasites in it.  If Woolyarse and the 'Burkes' want the fucking 'ole, then let them club together and buy it.  He would probably put a chitty in and claim it as necessary parliamentary expenses. Like nappy liners, lipstick, tampons, ladies shoes and blouse.  (The pic has nowt to do with the story: I just like it. He should be 'pied' at least once a week.)


Did you see these two yesterday?  A rare picture of  Woolyarse and one of the few MPs to have claimed more than him in exes.  These two money grabbing, trough slurping bastards cleaned us out for  £1,214,000 in the last four years of published figures. Once again that is ONE MILLION, TWO HUNDRED AND FOURTEEN THOUSAND QUID.  These are epenses only!!  This on top of salaries that were over £1Million for the same period.
You can see the two parasites on the right are out of favour. Not even a bottle of pop for  Counc. Dean, 'The Vacuum Abhorred By Nature'  and the original Oldham Trougher Battye who transformed expenses gathering into an art form.  Be nice if this was a fucking farewell party for the lot of them.

Monday, February 22, 2010


" Gordy, darling. How much more of this can you take?"

"Oooh, Peter luvvy, you are awful, but I like you. I'm good for about this much."

"Super, sweetie. Open wide."

Saluté  All Seeing Eye

Sunday, February 21, 2010

'Ave you bin puttin' it about that am barmy?'

A new wave of allegations against the Prime Mentalist, prompted Brown to make another extraordinary plea on television last night. In a determined attempt to rebut the new claims against him of bullying, striking members of staff and foul mouthed rants at people, including the Governor of the Bank Of England, Mervyn King. He said: ‘I have never, never hit anyone in my life. I don’t do these sorts of things. A Glasgae kiss, maybe. A fucking good kicking, yes, but I don't engage in fisticuffs with people, especially, big people. Any allegations that have been made about me hitting people or anything are completely untrue. I have people who do this for me. I keep Johnny 'Thick Ear' Prescott for things like that.  He's a real  'hard' man. Like Dear Peter.  He delights in a bit of mayhem and needs no egging on. Dennis Skinner, with his rapier like wit, and command of the English language is more than a match for any argumentative cocksuckers who come storming into my fucking home shouting the fucking odds and telling Me, fucking ME! How to run the bastard country, economy, photocopier or whatever. These gobshites need to have a bit more decorum and self restraint, like what me and Mick the welder have. Anyhow, I haven't time to waste gobbing with the fucking likes of you. Fuck off! Before I kick you in the bastard bollocks.

Friday, February 19, 2010



We're Reporting today on the latest piece of fuckery from the buffoons up  The Tower.  A showcase website, would you believe,  highlighting all that is good about the borough.  It is designed to show Oldham in a positive light.  About the only light Oldham would look good in would be firelight.  Anyhow, let's see what it has to say about this promised land.  We are told  ''s a culturally diverse, rich in industrial heritage and vibrant town. Offering opportunity for fun or relaxation to visitors and residents alike. Why not visit one of Oldham’s many attractions?'  Why not indeed.  Let's have a look at a few.  First up there's shopping at the 'award winning  Tommyfield  Market' (sic).  '..A bustling haven for bargain hunters. The Market is steeped in character and tradition and combines both modern and traditional facilities.'  Fucking brilliant, that, you'll find the market strewn along Curzon and Albion streets.  That is if the bloody tents haven't blown off across the Cheshire Plain. What has it won this award for?  Least number of stalls ?  Most attractive car park?   The online map of the town centre shows the market hall as Tommyfield Market.  There are also traditional markets at Royton and Shaw.  That is, if the stallholder turns up. Next up we have The Spindles  Town Square Shopping Centre. Located right in the heart of Oldham,  shopaholics will be in paradise with lots of opportunity to either browse or spend in an abundance of shops. You’ll find most of the top high street names in clothing and fashion, jewellery, entertainment and toys..' are not here. It is, we are told,   '..Easily accessible via all forms of transport. The nearest station is Oldham Mumps. From Mumps take a leisurely stroll up Yorkshire Street into the town centre.'  If you are going back the same way you are in for a long bleeding wait at Mumps. No I am not making all this up!  So, what else is waiting for our delectation?  How about a walk along the Rochdale Canal, admire the dead things floating in it and the fleets of ocean going supermarket trolleys, bobbing gently at their moorings. Or, go for a sail at Dovestones. Watch the numpties diving into four centimetres of water from sixty feet? Watch the helicopter landing.  See the colourful flashing lights. This is more like it. Just like a movie set.  There are approximately 127 references to the attractions of Saddleworth ( in whine country.) In Oldham we have Gallery Oldham, The Coliseum theatre and...well that's about it really. You could take a walk around Oldham town centre and 'enjoy the treasures of Oldham's past, observing the scope and detail of its Victorian architecture.'  See the wonder of the old Town Hall.  Marvel at the ancient patina of mould and algae coating the classical facade. take a few moments to study the wooden window panes showing pastoral scenes from town life. The upper floors contain many architectural gems. Should you wish to see these, they can now be found in the basement.  Pick up your complimentary laptop computer at the aesthetically pleasing Tower of Babble on West street. Built in the Bulgarian Byzantine  style it is a marvel of the concrete pourers art.  From there take a leisurely stroll down exclusive Yorkshire Street, home of exclusive shops and exclusive bars and 'restaurants'.  They call it exclusive 'cos at weekend anyone in uniform is excluded.  What next?  Ah, where to stay!  Clicking on Town centre accommodation brings up two hotels right there in the thick of things. First we have the Premier Inn Oldham (Central), their words not mine. This is located next to Boundary Park, so  handy for the shops and local amenities a mere two miles away. Second up Travelodge Oldham, on Manchester Street. 'A prime location for business or pleasure.' Within walking distance of town centre Oldham. Yeah, sure! Take a leisurely stroll through the delightfully quiet streets and picturesque subways, cross the Crystal Bridge with its fascinating groups of diverse local characters, showcasing their different cultures and pastimes.  For the more energetic among you, try Kick-boxing, the local sport.  The Royal Oldham Hospital is reasonably close.  It has a fine Accident and Emergency Department and  the many wards offer fine scope to the collector of the rarer infections. 
Did I mention Gallery Oldham and The Coliseum?  Oh yeah, already done them.  Here's another gem.  '..Why not visit the Queen Elizabeth Hall. It offers a VARIED and EXCITING programme of music and entertainment, 'to suit all tastes.'  But not if your taste happens to be beer!  Chadderton Town Hall has 'charming' gardens and a beautiful ballroom (renovated). Stop by and see the fabulous Christmas lights. These burn night and day from July onwards until the great switch off (or fuse blowing ceremony as it is known) around the middle of December.  Take a tour of Charlie 'Turd' Parker's office suite. Marvel at the minimalism and frugality of the furnishings and the pension pot growing ever bigger. What about sport, I hear you cry (and cry you will).  Well, we have the multitasking super sports facility that is Boundary Park. Home to Oldham Athletic Nil, and also, when 'Latics haven't fallen out with them,  Oldham Roughyeds RL team. Now, the Roughyeds are to move into their own luxury stadium in Limeside, the long awaited replacement for 'Sheddings, stolen by the Council some fourteen years ago. Full marks for the quick resolution of this by OMBC.   Take care if going to BP. It is not on Prestbury Drive as shown on the Town Map. If either of the Latics fans are reading this, they might like to take a look at the aerial photo of BP.  It looks like it has been invaded by an alien life form. 
So, what else is there? Very little actually. Everything else seems to be about fields and canals in Saddleworth (in whine country). They do have the 'Talking Point Conference and Exhibition Centre' though getting there might be a little problematic as the online map shows it to be in Peckham S. London,  home of Del Boy and Rodney. Should get along nicely with the Sadd spivs. You know it makes sense. Have I  told you about Gallery Oldham and the Coliseum. Yep I see I have. Last but not least we have a list of the great and the good who had the misfortune to be born here. They didn't linger long though. Most of them couldn't get out of the town quick enough. The strange thing is, that even though these worthies are supposedly famous, the spaces on the website for photo's of them  are 99% blank with 'No image available' stamped on them. Really? Though in the case of Christopher Biggins I'm happy to forego the pleasure of having him leering at me.  The same applies to dozens of the locations in the guide. Are you telling us there are no pics of the old Town Hall, The QE hall, Chadderton Town Hall, The Tower of Babble, David Platt, Mark Owen and Iestyn Harris?  Gettaway!  A£cock,  member for Evasion and Inactivity, has a camera, send him out and about snapping away as he leads pot-hole identifying  tours of the borough. 
Let's give the last word to The Feeder of The Council, Jolly boy Sy£es and I quote:  " Oldham is thriving and bustling and boasts some of the best facilities for miles around in terms of shopping, sports, entertainment and leisure. The good thing about this site is that it promotes a wide range of activities for people of all budgets and tastes and with money being a bit tight at the moment, you do not have to spend a lot to enjoy them."   "We'll spend it for you. In spades."  He got the date wrong as well.  If you are going to produce something like this, then you need enough interesting and attractive material to fill the available space.  To produce this with so many blanks and mistakes shows the slapdash careless attitide of this council, something we've come to expect.  It looks like amateur hour.  Am I surprised? 
Should you wish to waste a precious part of your life reading this drivel:  The Council Comic, or Saddleworth Whine List, as it is known,  can be found at    WARNING!  Have a box of tissues to hand. You'll need to dry the tears from your eyes.  I threw me back out laffin.     

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


Fuck Me!  Is there no end to the incompetence of the bunch of tossers supposedly running the town?   Following hard on the heels of the Miller fiasco,  we  are now another  £283,000  in the red thanks to a council  cock-up.  This latest piece of lunacy concerns parking tickets. In what council officials euphemistically call  'a system failure'  and a failure of the  'data transfer system', the details of over 9,000  unpaid fixed penalty notices were not  transferred, by the council  to a  'Traffic Enforcement Centre,'  to enforce payment.  What they really mean is that some council employee failed to do their job and whoever was in charge of that department (one of our highly overpaid managers,  no doubt),  failed to see the error.  Still in the job are they?   Officials say it has been going on for a year.  I suspect it is much longer.  In the last five or six years I know of several people who having received fixed penalty parking tickets, ignored them and heard nothing further.  Dim Madman, leader of the Labour Group called the Lib-Dem leaders,  'incompetents.'  He said,  " Once again Oldham taxpayers, who cannot afford it,  will have to pay for it."  Fuck off! you patronising, money grabbing bastard.  Since when did you ever give a flying fuck about the welfare of the people of this town?  Lining your pockets yes!


Slipped in quietly on the blindside is another little Lib-Dem gem.  In a budget report they reveal they spent  £359,000 on  'a road  improvement scheme'  that had not been budgeted for.  They also spent  £16,500 on unspecified  'town hall security.'  (Presumably to stop the bloody lunatics fleeing the asylum and roaming the town causing  untold damage and misery.  Oh,  I forgot,  they can do that quite well sat on their fat arses up the Tower of Babble.)
A little manual dexterity with the calculator shows that the clueless bastards have done away with another  £660,000 of OUR  money.  This has got to be stopped.  It is too easy for these pig ignorant nobodies with their self important puffed-up titles,  to spend other people's money.  Vote wisely at the elections folks.  Look around YOUR  town and ask  'Who is responsible for this?" 

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


Did y'all catch this little notice from Charlie 'Turd' Parker, hidden away in the inner recesses of the Oldham Chron?

Are there not  8,067 more  volunteers in this town willing to try and  raise a petition to hold a referendum on having an elected Mayor?

Why don't we go for it?  It would give us a toe-hold  in the council and maybe a start to being heard by the placemen squatting in the corridors of power, year after year.

← D'you see what Turd calls himself?  'Proper' Officer. Hah! proper cunt more like.

£45M BLACK HOLE - - - No problem we'll spend our way out of it.

Awash as our Council is with spare cash. It is no surprise to see that it was found necessary to replace most of the furniture from the Tower of Babble. Councillor Topspin said, "Labour neglected these areas shamelessly, so they presented a terrible, run-down impression to visitors, with rickety furniture and old equipment. We believe that if you look like a basket case, you will be taken for one. Visitors now see a smart and businesslike looking Oldham Council and our reputation is rising." No, we are NOT a basket case. We passed that point a long while back and are still descending. Is this talentless air headed old bag for real? Smart and businesslike? Does the old fart not read the local papers or 'The Oh Shit Gazette' as we now refer to council minutes. Ask Judge Foster how smart y'all are. Also you self preening windbag, who paid for all this furniture? We did of course. So why are the people of this town not allowed to have any of it? There are many in this town could make good use of what you and your band of wastrels have discarded in that skip. I'll warrant it's not just the one skip, either. By the way folks, since 2007 the bastards have spent  £400,000 of OUR money on furniture. Now it's rickety again. Just like the talent using it.

THE MILLERS TALE - - - continued.

Hot on the heels of the news that the Vance Miller fiasco was going to cost US upwards of £5Million, comes word of yet more pure fuckery by those clowns in The Tower of Babble. So confident of winning were the self inflated bastards, that they engaged the services of a PR company, (Bell Pottinger North), to announce their victory and launch the celebrations. Ha! Hubris strikes back. When the case collapsed, after Judge Jonathan Foster called it 'misconceived from the start,' these PR parasites were left with nothing to do to earn their crust, only issue a 134 word statement, explaining the cock up and stating the bleeding obvious, "no comment.' When I say 'crust', I must explain it is a very tasty crust. Tasty to the tune of £10,354 more of OUR money. That is £77.27 per word. Which, even by the standards of OMBC profligacy, is a pretty good days work. Repeated attempts to find out where the money to pay for the whole fuck-up, is coming from, get the usual 'no comment until a review is completed.' There has been no date given for the completion of this review. Fat bastard Sy£es, Feeder of the Council, asked last week if the council was fully covered for any claims resulting from the court case, said insurance was ‘appropriate.’ That is not the answer to the question. Is appropriate, sufficient? Why is it a secret? WE pay the fucking premiums, after all. Can you get insurance to cover your costs when you lose a case that should never have been brought in the first place? In it's report of the fuck-up, the Manchester Evening News revealed that the solicitors to Oldham council even sent an itemised list, to Mr Millers solicitors, of what they were expecting to receive in costs when 'they won the case'. Now we are waiting for the reverse to happen. £77.27 per word, eh! Well, here's a few for Sy£es, Charlie 'Turd' Parker, A£cock and Co. Fuck off you useless set of tossers! There, that's £541 worth.

Sunday, February 14, 2010



" O wad some Power the giftie gie us.  To see oursels as ithers see us!" - - -  Robert Burns

Friday, February 12, 2010


A couple of days ago The Oldham Evening Chronicle carried a story regarding Alcock the Almighty's Pot-Hole Moles.  In the article,  his immensity asked readers to call in and report dangerous pot-holes so they could be 'identified' and filled.  Cousin Ruffyed, knowing of such a crater, wrote informing of it's whereabouts.  He didn't think it would be a difficult hole to deal with and he had already 'identified it' so all that remained was to fill it. The letter was published in the OEC and Yed (as I call him) thought no more about it. U-n-t-i-l, checking the paper the following day he found it had disappeared, just like that, poof!  What a mystery!  If anyone comes across it, drop me a line and I will inform cousin Yed.  In the meantime he has kindly sent me a photocopy which I reproduce here.

Dear Sir, or Madman,
 I wish to report a dangerous hole. It is a short distance south of the promontory known as Alcock's Nose. It has been slowly increasing for some time now, but of late, it has become increasingly hazardous. It is now crammed with all manner of garbage, which, during the last bad spell of wether, got spread all over the borough.  Unlike the grit!  If the Pothole Voles need to identify it, I believe it is called Norman.
Yours, Ruffyed

PS.  You don't think  A£cock,  Supreme being, ruler of the known universe, could have planted one of those 'Pot'ole Mole' thingies deep inside the OEC, do you?  It could have been lurking there unseen for ages.  What's known as a sleeper or in this town, a Councillor.


Serial mitherer  Councillor D. Fibber is back electioneering again.  A member of the last bunch of talentless tossers to run the town, Fibber is a chronic whiner, telling us constantly how much better off we were with a Labour council. He can't seem to get it through his thick skull that he and his grasping cronies are responsible for the state of the town today. Funny how these wankers become super efficient once you've got rid of them.  His latest party political broadcast is concerned with stopping town centre shops closing down. The reason these shops are in danger of closing down is the policies and planning fuck-ups of  his bunch of gormless twats.  He has the fucking nerve to say, 'The Council should consult with traders to see what THEY want rather than the Council telling them what they are getting.'  Just as if that conniving band of ignoramuses ever listened to the people concerned, on any matter,  in this now God-forsaken town. That's why it's in the state it is.  He doesn't want to see empty shops as it makes the town 'LOOK' run-down. I've news for you, dickhead, IT IS RUN-DOWN!  Nicola Whitehead, owner of 'Demolition' on Yorkshire St., says 'Trade has never been so bad. There is no passing trade and Oldham is like a ghost town.'  There is no passing trade because there is nothing to pass down that street of shame for. The town centre is shrinking rapidly to a tiny area on top of the hill.  Access is crap. Parking, ruinously expensive and the range of stores small.  If this is a ghost town, then it is haunted by it's once fine town centre and who was responsible for it's untimely death?  Stand up Coun.  Fibber  and your band of  self seeking, money grabbing, brain-dead accomplices. Take a bow and head for the exit.


I don't know why, but every time I look at him I see the Grinch. Does anyone else see it?  Maybe we could paint him green to test it out.  Anyhow, his latest wheeze is to append his name to a letter to (wait for it), THE TIMES, no less. This letter signed by lots of other instantly forgettable non-entities is to protest the Personal Care at Home Bill, going through Parliament.  Why anyone would think Govt would be swayed by letters to The Times,  is a mystery.  Which members of that bunch of criminals reads The Times?  The Sun, maybe.  The Daily Star, probably.  The Chancers Gazette, certainly.  The gist of this Bill is that Govt will pay  £420M of the total cost of  £670M and local authorities will have to find the remaining  £250M.  As we all know in this town, we couldn't find fourpence at the moment.  WE ARE SKINT!  Instead of pissing about with letters to The Times,  Coun. Lard, write to Care Services Minister Phil Hope.  Tell him how it is. Tell him we can't join in at the moment as we've got ourselves a  £45M black hole in the council finances, the local govt pension fund is short by, probably £80M and you've fucked up the accounts for the Wellbeing Centre and will have to pinch three quarters of a mil from somewhere else or it will become the Unwellbeing Centre. We can't make many savings at this time as we have nothing left to cut.  Services are now all but defunct.  Amenities are closed down.  (The Central library WILL re-open as soon as someone returns the book.)  The town is now run by various outside bodies and private companies.  Everything is being consolidated into Alcock Holdings Inc.  A huge body.  This has had the added advantage of allowing the set of twats, sat scratting their arses in The Tower of Babble,  plenty of time to concentrate on the remaining core activities, which are - Shining pictures on walls and waiting for the first tram down Union St.  Another of the useless pricks past his sell by date.  Begone!

Thursday, February 11, 2010


This vapid face belongs to  Andrew MacKay MP. Last week he was ordered to repay over  £31,000 of misbegotten parliamentary expenses. Until the election the good citizens of Bracknell have the misfortune to be represented in Parliament by this scrote. He is married to the equally morally bankrupt MP for Bromsgrove, Julie Kirkbride. She was ordered to repay over  £29,000 of our money. This pair of repugnant bastards evolved a scheme whereby he claimed second home allowances for their home in London, while she claimed the same allowances for their home in her constituency. This cosy set up meant that we, the taxpayer mugs, funded both their bleeding homes. NOW!  MacKay. With his much less than impressive CV, has been recruited by, quote,  'One of the world's biggest communications firms', namely BURSON-MARSTELLER. Who are they? You ask. Who knows!  But it is reported that it counts  Danone and HSBC among its clients.  He will work as an 'International consultant and strategic adviser' for this equally charmless organisation. What this means is, the crooked bastard is going to be a lobbyist in Parliament and will to all extents and purposes, still have his snout in the same trough.  Matt Carter the chief executive of  BURSON-MARSTELLER, reported that he was ''delighted'' to have recruited this piece of slime.  No doubt  Danone and HSBC will also be delighted to be represented by this bent bastard. What reputable company would be 'delighted' to employ someone involved in a scam to steal over £60,000 from his employers?  Would YOU employ someone with his record? You would have to lock up the petty cash.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


Oldham Council meeting - as it happened - Oldham Advertiser

Posted using ShareThis

Just click on the link and read the on-line report of Oldham Council Meeting last Wednesday, courtesy of The Oldham Advertiser. Three hours of nothing. The town is disintegrating around them.  What matters of local importance do they cover?  Ashes cricket back in NW. How many questions has Ken Hulme asked? Fat bastard Sy£es's taste in uniformed women.  Unfair bank charges and a blinder this, people should lobby MP's for more railway carriages.  Fucking bleeding fuckety fuck!  Unfortunately, we, the people, have enough on our fucking plates trying to keep body and soul together. The underworked, overpaid morons infesting The Tower Of Babble seem to have plenty of time on their hands, so why don't they do it for us and try to earn some of the the taxpayers money they steal  claim every year.

Monday, February 8, 2010


It's not so much their individual raping of 'the system'. It's not so much their collective bleating that, 'I did nothing wrong,'  even though, in many eyes, they did nothing right. It's not so much their pass the parcel excuses, 'It was the fault of the fees office.'  I was told it was OK, etc.  It's the fact that they were all at it. Every one of them knew they were all at it. Yet no-one said a dickey-bird!  They are all as guilty as each other of colluding in the 'great fraud.'  For that alone the troughers should be consigned to the garbage can of history. This is the 'great fraud' perpetrated on the long suffering British taxpayer, by the way. Arrange the following statements according to whether they belong in the trough or outside of it. 'Repossessions are up.' 'Second home flipping is the norm.'  'Belts have had to be tightened.'  'Grocery bills up to four hundred quid a month are claimed.'  'The unemployed  scrape along on derisory minimum benefits.'  'Salaries range from sixty four thousand a year up to one hundred and five thousand plus.' Not one of the moral degenerates should ever be allowed to hold any kind of office in the future. Sweep the stables, or more accurately, the sty, clean.

Friday, February 5, 2010


Do you remember this from 2008?  Read the little prick lying his bollocks off.  Have they learnt anything since?  Has the penny dropped that we are totally pissed off with their thieving tricks?  Nope!  They are still at it and the arsewipe Woolas now has the fucking effrontery to appeal against having his ill gotten gains curtailed
                                                       OEC-online, Date: 04/07/2008
"MPs bowed to pressure last night and rejected a backbench move to award themselves an inflation-busting pay rise next year.
The move would have seen a rise of about 2.3 per cent this year and then about 4 per cent the year after but it was defeated by 196 votes to 155 — with the help of an Oldham MP.
Oldham East and Saddleworth Phil Woolas voted against the increase.  Oldham West and Royton MP Michael Meacher and Ashton MP David Heyes did not vote.
Mr Woolas said: “Being an MP puts you in a very difficult position because we vote for our own pay and the buck stops here.
“We have a responsibility to be prudent. I appreciate that MPs are well paid. In my experience 99 per cent are very diligent and work hard, it is the other one per cent that give MPs a bad name.”
MPs earn £61,181 a year and last night they backed plans for a 2.25 per cent pay rise for this year and agreed to link future increases to those given to other public sector workers like doctors and teachers, making it the last time they will debate and vote on their own pay.
Ministerial salary increases have already been scrapped.
But MPs rejected calls to tighten up their much-criticised £24,000 “second home” expenses.
They voted down the recommendations of a Commons review that would have stopped them buying household goods from the so-called “John Lewis list”. It also means MPs will still be able to spend £400 a month on food shopping without receipts — and claim for items up to £25 without any proof of purchase."

Perhaps he could explain to us exactly what he thinks, 'The buck stops here' means. Obviously different to what we believe.  'We have a responsibility to be prudent?'  Is he fucking joking?  This is the greedy trougher taking 400 quid a month of us poor fuckers to feed his face. Buying nappies, tampons, big girls blouses, lipstick,  ladies shoes and even his bleeding comics and charging it to our account.  Responsible???  Prudent???  Like fuck he is! He's a lying, conniving, thieving bastard.  He didn't vote for the pay increase because he was probably making more from expense fiddles.
'I appreciate that MPs are well paid. In my experience 99 per cent are very diligent and work hard, it is the other one per cent that give MPs a bad name.'
Wrong again you stupid grasping little prick. You've got the figures arse about face. 1 per cent may work hard.  Who knows?  It's the 99 per cent we have to worry about  and you are well prominent in that gang of robbing bastards, as are the other two money sponges, Meacher and Heyes. Notice the gutless fuckers abstained from the vote. A usual ploy from Micky seven houses and his co-conspiritors. He doesn't vote so no-one can point the finger at him later, but he's there to pick up his wedge with the rest. Compare expense claims from those two. Almost identical. You're not peeking over Micky's shoulder are you Heyes?
Any MP whose appeal is dismissed should forfeit the whole of his/her claim. That might concentrate their minds. Either that or a spell as a guest of her Majesty.


Tuesday, February 2, 2010


Further to our earlier enquiry as to the whereabouts of the gang of three, following the Millergate scandal. We can now reveal our intrepid investigators have discovered one of the miscreants living in a wheelie-bin in the local Lib-Dem stronghold of Saddleworth. The fat fuck was spotted yesterday when he was forced out of his hideaway by extreme hunger. It was later found that all the other wheelie-bins had been stuffed with grub in expectation of a long stay, but the greedy twat had scoffed the lot in three days. The smile on his ugly mug was to welcome the pizza delivery guy who had just struggled through an inch and a half of snow to deliver a gross of the special (extra large), (everything on), (twice) pizzas. These should carry him through to Friday. If relief has not arrived by then, the Member for Everything In The Known Universe, is planning to make his escape on the bicycle he has brought with him in case a quick getaway is called for. He was originally intending to head for Ashton-u-Lyne, but the bridge is out, so he will probably head toward Rochdale. He has promised a 'full enquiry' into Millergate, saying, 'Oldham MBC takes it's responsibilities towards fuck-ups very seriously.'  'However, this is a fuck-up too far and it is not my fault.'  ' I told them at the time to leave that nice Mr Miller alone, he hasn't harmed anyone and I quite like him. (Does he live in Oldham West & Royton, by any chance). Anyhow I'm off back in hiding now. Stroke of bad luck you finding me. You won't find that greedy fat twat Sy£es who's  hiding in the Chinese takeaway though. As for Charlie 'Turd' parker.  Does he really exist? 
Anyhow, enough about them already! Don't forget folks, May 6th, X marks the spot. (And Mark expects the Pot. Know what I mean?). You know it makes sense!  We regretfully took our leave, but were left wondering, was that indeed his immensity, or could it have been two body doubles employed to throw us off the scent. After all only one gross of pizzas doesn't sound very likely.


Oldham East and Saddleworth trougher in chief,  Phil  'nappies'  Woolyass is at it again. Word is, he's been ordered to repay 'some' of the expenses the thieving bastard had put in for. But, true to form the little cash sponge, wearing his new panty-liners and lipstick, issued a statement saying he is challenging the decision. Did we expect anything else from the grabbing gobshite? Over the last four years of published expense figures he has claimed  £594,058 in expenses. This on top of a salary of  £416,200. There's still two years figures to come. How the fuck does he manage?  If we, the taxpayers, had to rub along on such a paltry income, we would all be in the poorhouse.  Wait a minute, aren't we, the taxpayers, his boss? Don't we pay his ever more avaricious demands? Of course we fucking well do! But, what the hell. He's worth every penny isn't he? Isn't he??  Besides if we didn't have to fork out for the thieving twat, we'd only spend our money on ourselves. Where's the fun in that?  Among the little wanker's claims there are four, totalling  £3,700 from an accountancy firm. The gobshite employed this firm to do his tax returns, so he could maximise the fiddles he was using to  rip-off  the taxpayers. Nice to know we are employing accountants to rob ourselves! This is not allowed under 'The Rules,' but never mind our Phil has done nothing wrong. Has he? Has he??  Phil is an apt name for him don't you think? Phil my pockets, Phil my boots, Phil my bank account, Phil my claim form, Phil my piggy bank! Very apt, the last, for one of the biggest troughers in the disgraceful, deceitful gang of money grabbing bastards  that calls itself, Her Majesty's Government. Fuck off back where you came from you waste of fucking space and money!


How much is this cock-up by Trading Standards and Oldham Council Officers going to cost US? we are at £5Million now and counting. We have yet to hear if Vance Miller is going to sue the arse off the town and the clowns responsible.
'Don't blame ME!' says Tony Allen, head of Oldham Trading Standards. This immediately after Judge Jonathan Foster said, ' HE was to blame.'
Listen to the scruffy shite bleating, 'I was right and everyone else was wrong.' 'People above me made the decision to prosecute.' I was only obeying orders' Where have we heard that before?'
The Judge said, ' HIS desire to close the business down coloured HIS thinking and led him to lose HIS objectivity.'  No mention of any of the other dimwits at City Hall!
Listen to more from M'Lud. 'The case was misconceived from THE START and was an abuse of the court.' 'HIS evidence contained, ' Contradictory and unreliable evidence with errors and misrepresentations and a lack of written or recorded notes from meetings.' Is the Judge saying it was all in his head?
Even after all this the stupid pompous prick has the nerve to blame the courts, saying, 'Courts do not take cases of consumer fraud seriously.' Not when they are presented like your amateur hour effort they don't, You pillock!
 He now says, 'I stand 100 per cent behind the decision that I made to investigate this case even with the benefit of hindsight.'  'It was based on sound professional judgement of the available facts, independent legal advice and consultation with partners, senior officers and members  at the time.'  100 percent eh?  Even now he cannot see the complete fuck-up that this case became and don't forget hindsight comes with twenty-twenty vision. Sound professional judgement of the available facts? From whom, pray tell?  Following consultation with partners, senior officers and members. Their names being..?
Against all the facts, which point t'other way, he whines, 'It was the right decision 'THEN' and it remains the right decision to-day.' Oh, Yeah! Ask the Judge you arsehole! He criticised one person only, TONY ALLEN.
According to his self delusion, Allen, soon we hope, ex-head of Trading Standards believes, 'Oldhamers have a Trading Standards team we can be truly proud of.' Unfortunately no-one knows who or where they are at present.
Do any of you Oldhamers out there feel proud that this jumped up, full of his own importance, arrogant little prick has dragged the town farther down Shite Alley?  If he at least looked as if he was head of a department we might feel better. If he is careless enough of his appearance, to appear in the local media looking as if he had just been dragged out of bed in an early morning police drugs raid, after a rough night down Yorkshire St., then he must expect us to draw our own conclusions.
Tony Allen, expensive fucking failure, close the door on your way out. The Job-Centre is on Union St.

Monday, February 1, 2010


Charlie Parker - - -American jazz saxophonist. Renowned for his innovative style and his influence on modern music. - - - Nickname:  'Bird"

Charlie Parker - - - Chief 'Executor' Oldham MBC. Chancer in his sixth job, that we know of.  Renowned for smiling and spending all our money, recruiting sycophants to boost his ego. - - - Nickname: 'Turd'
Anybody seen the three desperados since the Vance Miller fiasco?    Amazing how quickly they disappear when there's the small matter of £5 million + to find, to pay for their incompetence. They're probably ferreting about in Cock-up Towers, looking for someone to blame.  We heard Sykes, Feeder of the Council,  was so upset he could only manage an eight course breakfast. He later became faint through lack of nourishment and had to be taken home in his fully customised gritting wagon.  Charlie, 'The Smiling Assassin' Parker hurriedly dashed out and recruited five senior managers to deal with the problem. He said five was probably sufficient as it was only a minor hiccup. We did notice, though, that he also appointed two whipping boys, just in case.  Alcock, Supreme Being, Controller of the entire galaxy, all powerful, omnipotent, broke down in tears as he realised his dream of unseating Mickey 'seven houses' Meacher at the election was fading fast. He could see his vision of years of unfettered troughing in the House of Conmen fading before his eyes.

WARNING: . . . .   These men are dangerous. If you see the suspects do not approach them. They will lie to you incessantly and promise you paradise, or an acre in Saddleworth, with planning permission, in exchange for your support.   


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