WHAT BIG TEETH YOU HAVE! Bigger, sharper teeth than our ramblings in the on-line Oldham Evening Chronicle, which are being strangled by ever increasing censorship or moderation as they call it. We, the people of this town have no collective public voice to shout on our behalf, willing to question and challenge the lunacy visited upon us by the numpties in The Tower Of Babble, various thieving MPs, the legions of PC police at GMP, PAT'S, PACT'S, academy lovers, transport 'experts', vastly overpaid Council Officers from Charlie Chuckles downward, quangoes, placemen, do-gooders, do-badders, tree huggers, Brussels and Alcock! You get the idea? We intend to remedy this via the revamped Pigsticker. Now with added fibre. If any of you out there want to join us in restoring the town to it's former pleasant aspect, please feel free to submit articles. No moderation on this site!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


A little item slyly slipped into news accounts to-day
'Award-winning' policewoman Leanne Murphy (26), from Middleton who was arrested after being found off-duty in a suspected drugs den in Oldham has been released without charge.
PC Murphy (26),  and three other people were arrested in November at the house on suspicion of possession of Class A drugs with intent to supply.  Following an investigation the case against her was dropped.
More questions than answers here.  Has the case against the other three been dropped?  If not, does GMP now condone off-duty cops consorting with drug dealers? Is the house a drug den or not? If yes, does GMP now condone off-duty cops frequenting drug dens?  What reason had PC Murphy to be in such a parlous situation? Why was she in the company of such people? Is this another item swept under the carpet by GMP?  Not at all! What size brush do you need for that whitewash, Pete?

CAN I BE MILK MONITOR SIR? - No, sit down Alcock - you'd drink it all.

See! The aggrandising bastards are at it again. Defeated Liberal Democrats on Oldham Council have unveiled their Shadow Cabinet. Eleven of the workshy talentless bastards are swanning around calling themselves shadow this or shadow that. Fuck all this preening and posing! you're supposedly representing our interests in the council chamber, not pretending you are a bunch of movers and shakers in the governments of the world. If they had spent less time dreaming up nonsense titles for each other and more time attending to constituency matters things might have been a lot better in this town. Every fucking thing about councils in this town is SELF first, fuck the people! You are all clowns.Amateur fucking clowns at that! 


An investigation is to be carried out into SAT tests at Chadderton Hall Junior School. It has been alleged that pupils were told answers in the tests sat by 11-year-olds across the country earlier this month. Heaven help us! Are the pupils so thick they couldn't complete tests which have now become so easy a nematode worm could pass 'summa cum laude.'?  Or is it that the teachers are so incapable they are covering their backs to avoid the disgrace of their pupils failing? Education, education, education! Bollocks!


The new Mayor of Oldham, Greenfield village idiot, Richard Knowless, has pledged to be a “good news ambassador” for the borough.  The only good news we would welcome from the moron is that he had decided to up sticks and emigrate to Christmas Island. Somehow he has a job at Salford University — where he is a professor with an international reputation for transport geography. But knows absolutely fuck all about what WE want here in Oldham. This is the guy who has been pushing all the metrolink crap down our throat for years. SELF FUCKING AGGRANDISEMENT yet again! Did the knobhead  consider asking us what we wanted before destroying a perfectly good rail system, forever cutting us off from the rest of the world, (ok maybe it's no bad thing protecting the rest of the world from the blight) and bringing disruption to most of the town? Like all his arrogant ilk. Did he fuck! And they make the prick Mayor. God help us! The lunatics really have taken over the asylum!

STONY BROKE AT STONELEIGH! - Read all abaht it!

How now Mr Chronicle editor? Another blow to the benighted Derker!  Refurbishment of Stoneleigh School appears to have been abandoned. There are fears work has been abandoned due to falling pupil numbers. Well, there will be falling numbers won't there? All the fucking houses have been demolished or are boarded up. Nobody lives there anymore! The few residents remaining have been left surrounded with vast empty spaces and rows of derelict properties.
There are understood to be concerns about  the number of houses for families in the wake of the Government’s decision to halt the multi-million Housing Market Renewal programme in Derker. This was meant to demolish, rebuild and refurbish hundreds of properties, but not all of the new houses promised materialised. Excuse me asking, but how many, exactlt, is 'not all'?  Last month Bellway pulled out of plans to build 148 homes. Some people seem more aware of conditions in this town than our beloved Councillors and the editor of our local paper.
 Councillor Hugh McDonald, cabinet member for children, young people and families (God help us!), said, "We will continue to give Stoneleigh Primary School its full support so the children fulfil their potential and receive the best start in life.”(Translation: Closure is imminent).  Asked if closure was an option, Councillor McDonald said: “Everything is an option.” (Translation: It's official).
 Jackie Stanton, former deputy council leader and gypsy fortune teller, said: “We identified £1 million to be spent on this school to enhance teaching and learning and to provide community facilities in an area where there are none. There are no facilities? What a surprise! There are no fucking houses or people either! So look how much we have saved on uneeded community facilities.
She added,“We will be looking for a meeting with Councillor McDonald as soon as possible because this uncertainty for staff and parents is completely unfair.”  Give me fucking strength! Was the uncertainty for residents caught up in the council's ill thought-out scheme fair then?
Does Editor Whaley consider them 'Whingers and moaners' without legitimate complaint? Or is everything in the town still all hunky-dory?
We suggest he peruses the article on this matter in his paper, this date. Read the first two words, David. "TROUBLED DERKER" - Nuff said?

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


The saga of the whingers and moaners continues. In the letters page of our esteemed local paper, the Chron, a the reader RB  has written of the hypocrisy of editor David Whaley in devoting a column to moaning about the moaners and whingers who write to his newspaper, saying the irony of the piece was clearly lost on the writer. Nah! The Chron don't do irony.

This is Whaley's studied response:
There is also a marked difference between those with a legitimate complaint who are ignored at every turn, insulted and fobbed off with every excuse known to man and those like himself who, for commercial and job security reasons, are happy to wave through the ill considered vandalism inflicted upon the town by his cronies up on West St. He mentions those who moan about everything that goes on in Oldham without offering a constructive alternative.

Here, in another photo-op for the paper we see our intrepid editor at the scene of one of OMBC's greatest triumphs, The Derker Levels. He is in earnest planning talks with an old gypsy fortune teller and peg seller Counc Stanton. He later said he was totally impressed with the way Derker had turned out nice and flat after all those nasty little houses had been removed. When asked about all the people forced out of their homes, despite the majority wanting to stay, he replied. "They're all whingers and moaners with no legitimate complaints. There's none of them come up with a constructive alternative have they?"

Photo © OEC  Copies available from the Chronicle Office price £3.50 + p&p

Strewth! does the fool not even read his own paper? For the past few years the letters page of the Chron has been regularly filled with complaints about one hare-brained scheme or another, complete with suggestions for better solutions. Have the jellyfish brains in the Tower listened?  Have they ever altered any plan to fit in with what we want? Do they care what we think? Hah! take a guess. In the last few years we have had many examples of the council riding roughshod over the wishes of the people. To name a few: Derker- Werneth - Metrolink - Academies - Tommyfield - The Old Town Hall - Yorkshire St. Need we go on?  In all these and many more cases there has been a vociferous response from our citizens against  the plans put forward by the Council brain cell. Has ought come of these pleas for common sense? Nope! The council response is usually to decide the outcome - call a public nonsultation - then announce a unanimous verdict in favour. So do us a favour David. Stop insulting our intelligence. We know. You know. We know you know, we are pissing against the wind trying to divert the party political sheep from their chosen path. Sometimes though, we have minor victories such as the local election result in Waterhead. Opportunity Knox was repeatedly told the Academy scheme was flawed, but self aggrandisement and the hubristic belief that only I know what's best for you, led her to the exit door. (Mind you look what the poor bastards in Waterhead got in her place: Peter Dean the well known free thinker and visionary.)

RB's closing sentence solves the editors's dilemma:  ".....if the Chron really is fed up of people complaining then their answer is simple. Don't print the letters."

Ah, but there's the rub. Don't print the letters. Nothing to fill the space only more ads and photo sales. Nothing left to edit.

Monday, May 23, 2011

VERILY OUR POT UNDERFLOWETH - Who knows where the money goeth?

 Have you all, like the good little brainwashed trolls you are, paid your Council Tax? Oh, goody! Did you know that approx the first four hundred pounds (£ 400) of every household's tax extortion drops straight into the Local Government Pension Pot? Do you wonder why we have no services, amenities, facilities?  That's four hundred quid (maybe more) of your hard earned, going toward the twilight years of some incompetent middle manager in his Tenerife time share, after taking early retirement. Don't you feel good seeing these worthy causes getting something back for their years of selfless toil? Or, like us, do you want to grab them by the scrotum and drag them screaming, back to the dump they created, to serve out the rest of their days?
The reason so much of your moolah is dropping into the bottomless pit is that successive juntas have,  sort of, spent it instead of saving it and now we are just a tad short. 'What's a tad?'  I hear you ask. Well the last concrete figures published two years ago showed that the tad was a midges over £63M. Estimates now put it at probably over £100M. 'Who's going to make good the deficit?'  I hear you ask as well. Hah! Did you really need to ask?  The next time you find yourself engaged in cheerful banter with your local councillor  ask him or her to explain the esoteric workings of the Local Government Pension Scheme. they will be only too pleased to explain where the loot funding has been deployed.
Anyone with firm figures on the current deficit in the LGPS?  Do let us know.


About a week ago this editorial appeared in the Oldham Evening Chronicle:-

We suppose editor David Whaley has our good selves in mind when he makes his ill-informed remarks. Somebody has to stand up to the talentless megalomaniacs in the Ivory Tower and it sure ain't the Oldham Chronicle. What should be the voice of the people is now nothing more than the official organ of Oldham Council. Perhaps if the Chron had been more vociferous  in the past, about the shortcomings and failed grandiose plans of the council, we might not be in the sorry state we are to-day.  How dare  Whaley criticise anyone who doesn't agree with his biased view. We have as much right to harry council members as he has to praise and buff them up like gold turds. No criticism of councillors, council plans, expenses inflation, the ability of certain members, the intelligence of certain members is allowed in the columns of the Council Gazette. The great moderator has spoken. Well, here's the news: You won't say it so we must. 
All Whaley seems interested in is getting in as many photo ops as possible, posing with his new masters. Still he is little more than a photograph salesman anyhow.  The impartiality, free spirit and occasional irreverence of past editors has been ditched and replaced with a forelock tugging yes man in charge of  the turgid, so called, 'Last Newspaper In Oldham.' Wrong, David. The paper now contains little or no 'News.' What bit there is, is usually days out of date, is gleaned from other publications and is given to us in handy bite size pieces about the size of a postage stamp. Half the time, the news is not even about the local area. Who wants to read about a chimney fire in Westhoughton or a bicycle stolen in Wythenshawe? At a rough estimate over 60% of the available space each evening is given over to adverts. Roughly 20% of these are adverts advertising the Oldham Chronicle or adverts selling photos from the myriad schemes set up by the Chron, purely to sell more photos. What are even more weird are the ads throughout the paper advertising what we can look forward to reading in the next couple of pages. Left to our own devices I'm sure we can all learn to lick our thumbs, turn the pages and stumble delightedly upon the unforeseen delights. There is more news in the Advertiser. He berates us for knocking Sunny Jim. It matters not, to us that he has been in power only a matter of days. We remember him from last time. Jim ' Can I Have More Expenses On Top Of The 22 grand I'm fleecing you out of already,' cos I've got to do an interview,' McMahon.  Mr Do Nowt, like all his Lie-bour cronies. How many years of this have we had? These are basically the same sad, clueless, placemen we have had for the past thirty years.  The editor castigates us for, 'rubbishing the priorities he has set out for the first period of the administration.'  Where was Whaley during the last twenty periods of previous Lie-bour administrations when the blowhards were creating 'Jerusalem in England's green and pleasant land'?  Look around you man! The town is more like Dresden after the blitz. You're living in a dream world. The rest of us meanwhile are living a nightmare. 'It's a good job that all is not happy and sorted in the borough,' he bleats. 'What would we find to moan about otherwise.' You arrogant stupid bastard. Can you not see the shitehole this town has become? Do your rose-tinted Lie-bour specs so blind you to the derelict, squalid, dirt-ridden, cut off from the world, town that Oldham has become, that YOU have forgotten who brought us to this sorry state? Day after day your readers complain about the shortcomings of the numpties in the tower. Do we hear a howl of protest from the Chron in support?  Not likely. They don't want to lose their only news item.
'Some are poor political losers.'  Aye lad, we're all losers and a lot of us are a lot poorer thanks to the political shenanigans of people whom we elected to serve the borough not dance like puppets for their masters down in London.
'Many in the borough are sick and tired of the negative influence that this vocal minority seek to wield.' Yes you're right David. We are all sick and tired of the negative influence that you and the sixty teat-suckers on the council have foisted upon us for years.
The editor's conclusions? - 'Yes there are problems.'  There's the understatement of the year. We are assailed on all sides by problems. Problems that no-one in the Tower of Babble has a clue how to solve.
'Not every decision taken turns out to be the right one.'  No! very few of them do. It's the cost, monetary and in human misery of all the wrong decisions accumulating over the years that pisses us off.
'We have to give the people elected the opportunity to try to move the town forward.' Are you having a laff? These are the same bunch of numbskulls that we had last time Lie-bour were in power. They did nowt then. They'll do nowt now. They are bereft of ideas. They have no money for any of these 'schemes' and self interest will, as usual, take over from common sense. They haven't the faintest clue how to move this town forward. We'll still be waiting come the next election 
Whatever it is that we have to offer Mr Whaley, it is designed to get people interested. To ask questions. To not blindly accept all the pap spewing from the council chamber, to get involved. At one time we would have expected the Oldham Chronicle and it's editor to have been the voice of the people. We would have expected harsh criticism of the way this town is and has been run for years. But no! We mustn't disturb the equilibrium. The Oldham Chronicle has become the Mogadon Chronicle, gently ironing the creases out of the fabric of life.  We are now so stupefied we are seemingly incapable of resistance. We, the whingers and moaners intend to change that. Whaley! Grow a pair. Stop your brown nosin.' and posin.'  Try and be of some use to this town other than as a photographic model.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

THEM AS CAN, DO - THEM AS CAN'T..........!

You will have noticed that teachers at Crompton House School went on strike last Thursday. This action was ostensibly because they fear the proposal of the school to become an academy would: "Harm the school and education in Oldham."  Brother Tony Harrison, scretary of Oldham NUT,  said "We asked to meet the full governing body to make our case against the plans."  Not, you will note, to discuss the plans. Oh no! We are agin 'em on principle (if indeed they had any and knew what they were.) He continued,"This is a perfectly reasonable request."  Oh, really! I have worked for several organisations and companies over the years. Not once during that time have I ever been consulted on policy changes, board-room appointments or future business plans. What business is it of the teachers and the NUT how the school is governed, the future direction of the school or the decisions of the governors. They are, like I was, employees. If they don't like it they can always do what I was often told, that if you don't like it you can always take your labour elsewhere. 
Listen to this piece of union drivel straight from the Lie-bour book of fun quotes: "The vast majority of teachers oppose becoming an academy which would give the Church Of England secondary more freedoms. Bullshit! " The big fear of the NUT and it's teachers is that they are well aware that come a changeover to academies many of the under-performing, under-qualified, unsuited to the job, ideologically brainwashed, so-called teachers will be found out, found wanting  and will be out of a job. Look at the figures to see how good they are. Over a third of secondary pupils leave school unable to read and write sufficiently well to apply for jobs and to satisfy prospective employer's levels of education. Who is to blame? The Government? The Teacher Training Colleges? The Unions? The Teachers? All of them it would appear. The Government has made exams so ludicrously easy over the years that a gerbil could pass with honours.  Teacher Training Colleges have been weighted down for years with ideological claptrap. Teachers qualify and pass on this tripe to new students who then go on to become teachers in their own right and the whole sordid cycle repeats itself endlessly. Unions need no explaining. It's all about maintaining your power base. Teachers? Well teachers are in the job for one of two reasons. A real desire to impart learning to new minds, or it's better than working. Unfortunately there are too many of the latter and the end results of their indifference can be seen wandering the streets of most towns. No jobs. No abilities. No qualifications. No life! 
Can any of the principled oafs tell us what message going on strike gives to their pupils? Are they proud of the fact that after approx eleven years of education pupils leave school still unable to read and write. What chance do these disadvantaged souls have in the labour market. Successive Governments have been complicit in this state of afairs. An illiterate, innumerate, jobless population is easier to control. Just give them regular handouts it's as good as a tranquiliser.
Finally: Tony Harrison (again). "....becoming an academy will effectively privatise the school and concentrate power in the hands of just a few people."  Aaah! There we have it P-O-W-E-R  and none if it will be ours.  Never mind if any unsuitable teachers lose their posts they can always get a job with Ofsted.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

OLDHAM - - Round and round went the bloody big wheel!

 Well then! What's been happening in the mighty metropolis in our absence?  Fuck me! we've had a bleedin' election and the parasitic Lie-bour bastards, led by Jim (Give me more expenses) McMahon,  have been re-elected by the bovine fucking electorate who still have not realised what a state of shit and dereliction the tossers leave the town.
Anyhow, for those of you don't know what the vapid faced fucker now leading us into the potholes of oblivion, looks like, here he is on election night having just received the leaders regalia from outgoing council leader and fast food ace Coun Sykes. This ancient symbol signifies the relationship between the council and the citizens of the borough.
It's not all bad news however. Word reaches us that Shaw chippy will be saved from closure. Sykes will not be away on all them free jollys in the council our Audi, so will be free to resume his thrice daily visits to his favourite shopping outlet. The owners stated that the doubling of trade should enable them to retire in a couple of years. An outcome we have been wishing on the eating machine for some time.

MEACHER - In and out went the prick of steal..!!

Read this shite from Micky 'Seven Homes' Meac£er, long time waste of oxygen and allowance claimer extraordinaire (is he still claiming for a mortgage after 40 years?).
"The best results for Lie-bour since the poll tax disaster for Mrs Thatcher. I have been in Oldham for 42 years and with one exception, they are the best results for half a century. Every single ward in my constituency was won by margins we have never experienced before."
"The fact that the Lie-bour party nearly won in Shaw & Crompton and did win in Saddleworth W and Lees are extraordinary results".
(By God didn't that woman Thatcher give the red brigade the shits, they are still frightened by her 21 years after she left office).

So, let's look at the figures. In the sixteen wards won by Lie-bour 128,000 people were eligible to vote. Of these 29,000 voted for Lie-bour, 19,600 voted for other parties but, get this, 79,000 people did not vote. This means just 22.5% of the electorate voted for Lie-bour in the 16 wards. This is hardly a runaway mandate for the Lie-bour party is it Meac£er, you tosser?
What of the Town as a whole? The total electorate is 159,348. Of these 32,778 voted Lie-bour, that is approx 21% of the vote.  29,365 voted for other parties. This accounts for a 39% turnout. That leaves 61% or 97,000 people who couldn't be fucking bothered. Yes you read that right. NINETY-SEVEN THOUSAND of you shiftless fuckers couldn't drag yer benefit sodden arses off the sofa and away from the daytime pap of TV. What's the betting you are the very ones who, in the coming months of the rule of the 'perkocracy' will be among those bemoaning their fate and writing to the local press about how hard done by they are. Well I've news for you you gutless, idle, moaning bastards. IT WILL BE TOO LATE!!!! Your chance to alter things for the better was last Thursday. If you chose to spend the day in the bookies, pub, arms of your lover, drunken stupor or if you couldn't even be bothered to arise from your wanking pit, then you have only yourselves to blame. YOU ARE THE ONES RESPONSIBLE!! Though responsible is not a word usually associated with the populace of Oldham.
So Micky, baby, 21% is a triumph, eh? Tell us about the sweeping mandate given you by the 21%. Tell us how nearly winning a seat is an extraordinary result. You didn't win it. It wasn't a result and it certainly wasn't extraordinary!  You are a total incompetent nincompoop. You state you have "been in Oldham for 42 years." Oh yeah? How much time, in total, during the past forty years, have you spent in your favourite spot in the whole world? Or, as I once heard you remark, 'Terrrible place, terrible people."  Meac£er you have taken the piss out of this town for far too long now. For fucks sake stick the fucking brown nosed Suttie back up your fucking arse and fuck the fuck off!.

WINSOME - Lose some - 'Til at last the maiden cried..!

So, who were the jackpot winners and who got wooden spoons?  In Waterhead, that grove of academe, we lost the Peroxide Pirahna 'opportunity' Knox, victim of her own hubris in pursuing her self aggrandising  'academy' plans, despite 104% of the town and particularly, Waterhead, being totally against it. What formidable foe do we find replacing her? None other than that vacuum abhorred by nature, Peter Dean.He  will bring his towering intellect and sparkling wit and oratory to bear on the problems that beset Waterhead, not to mention the carnage yet to come there. He was as thick as pig-shit forty years ago when he was a fireman and it's been all downhill since.
Brian Lord has gone also. Brian who? I hear you ask! Exactly. Replaced by who? Adrian Alexander who played rugby once upon a time and who must have been stiff armed too many times as he fucked off home before the count was done. There's keen for you! Eileen Hulme was fucked off from Chaddy Central, probably a consequence of being married to the half wit, Jack Hulme who climbed into bed with the fat bastard Sykes and probably also because they were draining too much brass from the trough.
In Hollinwood Keith Pendlebury, who had risen without trace was soundly thrashed and by God did he deserve a good thrashing. In Shaw Mr Majestik, the omnipotent Alcock (by name not nature) trounced the opposition by a resounding 98 votes. I bet that had his chins all a quiver. Mind you he was up against a guy named Phelyp. Sounds like some sort of adenoidal growth to me.Almost everywhere else was won by sparkling non-entities and has beens, so no change there then. In the sub-continent seats Muhammed Mohammed, Mohammed Muhammed, Mo Muhammad and Muhammed M Muhammad all retained their seats. M Muhammed Mohammed was unlucky.

CH-CH-CHANGES - Enuff, Enuff, I'm satisfied!.....

Now the madness begins anew. Once more the town begins the inexorable slide into debt, depression, derelictionand dogma as the red brigade snouts  prepare once again to burrow into the trough of what they think is their, but is in fact, our money.

So what plans has the new gauleiter for the expectant masses?

He says "change is on it's way." The only change we'll get from these fucking imbeciles will be the loose change that will be all that's left after they have plundered the coffers.

He says he will cut the number of managers, bring power to the people and save £54 Million.
Nearly all these 'managers' are Lie-bour appointments. Do YOU seriously imagine they will reduce their support base? (do you think the unions will let them?)

Bring power to the people! He is seriously taking the piss now. The last, the very last thing a Lie-bour administration will allow is outside interference, especially from unqualified members of the public who are not as clever and bright as wot they are.

How is he setting about saving this £54M he waffles about? Well, first of all, he proposes setting up SIX more town halls! That's alright then. We can do that at no extra cost and without extra staff. (Well maybe a few extra managers to see things run smoothly. But no extravagance of course. No new manager will receive more than £140,00pa, so there's a big saving there.

Now here's a beauty.This will make you laff.  He proposes reducing councillors allowances by £130,000. Until I read that bit I was believing everyone of Jimmy's plans. Now I know he's fucking us up the rear.

He is, single handed going to resolve the problem of Athletic's new stadium. He is going to sell the club to Ashby-de-la-Zouch. He's  heard they have a largish field doing nowt.

He is set to establish new entertainment facilities in the town. These could include (get this) TWO cinemas. In the last thirty years what fucking facilities have Lie-bour (or any of t'other parties, for that matter) fucking well provided in this town. Short answer: not a fucking one! For fucks sake, we'd have settled for fucking ONE! Why do we not believe you now Jim you lying sack of shit?

He's also proposing to re-open the four day-care centres recently closed by the last incumbents of The Tower Of Babble. Oh, goody. Lots of savings there then.

Plans by the previous council to charge disabled drivers for using council car parks & charge visitors to countryside centre car parks, will be scrapped. These will be replaced by the present council's plans
to charge disabled drivers for using council car parks & charge visitors to countryside centre car parks.

Councillor Mardarse concluded by saying: " I'm not promising anything I don't think I can deliver"

errata:...In final sentence insert full stop after 'anything'

BELIEVE IN OLDHAM - But now we come to the tragic bit…!

 New superbrain and council leader, Jim Mardarse has been finalising his cabinet. Seems like a good idea. If anybody needs finalizing it’s that bunch of has been, never were, and not a fucking chance of ever becoming, talent.

He says ‘With the right political leadership and passion for the town, we can do a lot.’  Too right Jiminy Cricket. So when they turn up give us a call and they can have your job. (or is it jobs?)

“Because of budget restraints,” he claims, “We can’t maintain the same number of jobs. BUT we can keep all the services.” Oh, Aye! In that case why the fuck didn’t your fucking wastrels stop all the overstaffing and client state recruitment last time round? We told you at the time there were too many people doing too few jobs.

Now consider his next two points:

‘It’s a case of reducing managers and shared working.’

‘New town halls will be created in Oldham’s six districts as a way of bringing the council to the residents.  A DESIGNATED MANAGER in each town hall will oversee the running of services, such as youth services and street cleaning, in their area.’

Now, there are no prizes for this competition, but, hands up anyone who can see any conflict of interest in those two statements.

District Partnerships will continue but with more  constitutional power and LARGER BUDGETS. Anything yet???

NOW HEAR THIS! NOW HEAR THIS!  Counc. Mardarse will carry out a two month review of ….wait for it….’DEMOCRACY IN OLDHAM.‘ Good God, the man is as mad as a box of frogs like all his predecessors . It’s a review of  DIRT, DERELICTION, DECAY and the DELIBERATE DESTRUCTION  of almost every worthwhile thing in the town, he should be carrying out. Stop wasting your and our fucking time with Lie-bour DOGMA.
We’ve enough of that shit from our friend Suttie and his endless mirthfull quotes from Lie-bours little red Book Of Quips!

He plans to make Oldham a “co-operative council’ (sic) with residents having a bigger say in the way money is spent. Can you really fucking imagine Lie-bour letting any residents loose with the council Cheque Book? The only bigger say will be from the ’Residents’ of 1 Cheapside clamouring for more troughing.

One of little Jimmy’s priorities (he says) is to sort out the retail economy in the Union Street corridor(sic). This will be sorted as follows Numbers 2 to 368 will be takeaways and numbers 1 to 411 will be bars, clubs and discos, apart from numbers 157 and 264 which will be sex shops. The Chronicle Office will become Lie-bour party headquarters. The old library will be demolished to make way for an ultra-modern, up-market, mini-mall housing Pound Stores, Charity Shops , the Ashby-de-la-Zouch supporters club shop and Butterworth’s Chippy(redux). Jim says ‘rents will be competitive’ Lie-bour speak for, ‘it’ll be a battle to get anybody to pay it.’

His parting shot, ‘Oldham needs to be confident in itself and stop beating itself up. We believe in Oldham. It’s time people got behind Odham.‘
Beating the town up? That is Lie-bour’s  prerogative They don’t need any help.’
When he said, ‘We believe in Oldham.’ Did he mean (‘We be leavin’ Oldham) nah! that’s just wishful thinking.

‘It’s time people got behind Odham.‘ Fucking right on there Jammie. Why not start with yerself and the rest of the tit-suckers up on West St?

McMAHON’S IRISH AIN‘T IT? - There was no way of stopping it..!

Dim Jim has, after a six or seven minute consultation period, revealed his ‘new’ cabinet.
Familiar names return to the feeding station. By familiar we mean the same dogma riddled, bigoted, unchanging and unchangeable, dyed-in-the- wool Lie-bour prehistoric monsters.

The number of ‘cabinet members’ has been cut from 10 to 8!  How long before the number of ‘cabinet members’ is cut to ONE????  The reason put forward for the cut is: “To allow the appointment of four non-voting ‘deputy cabinet members’ at no extra cost, which Little Jimmy said, ‘would provide support and give people more experience at senior level.’
To unravel this you need a degree in Lie-bour confuse-speak.
So! It’s been cut from 10 to 8 to accommodate four more tit-suckers. So what they mean is it’s been cut from 10 to 12. Ah! but, I hear you cry, this is at no extra cost. Do you really believe that?? If so, don’t worry we’ll get help to you as soon as possible. Just keep the tooth fairy happy ’til we arrive.
If they are indeed performing this onerous duty without recompense, then I have a question. Why the fucking hell don’t the rest of the tribe do the same? See! Instant savings.

Next item on the agenda: Cross party Cabinet advisory boards will be set up for ‘back benchers.’ They won’t be getting expenses for that will they? So that’s more savings.
As well as being the great Poobah Baby James will be responsible for ‘democracy.’ What an arrogant piece of  shite he is.  No member of the Lie-bour collective has the remotest concept of democracy. Basically Lie-bour philosophy can be summed up as: ‘Shut up - Do as you are told - What’s yours is mine and I’m keeping fucking tight hold of what’s mine - vote for us - expect nowt - get nowt. You’re blowin’ smoke Jimbo!

So who have we in this ‘new’ team?  Oh! Fuck me what a breakthrough, five of the old washed up tossers are back.: - Shoab Akhtar - Diddy Daddy Dave Hibbert - Phil Harrison, the slithy tove - Old McDonald who nearly bought the farm on the ice fields of Springhead and who incidentally makes Peter Dean appear normal - Jean Stretton(who?) The two new faces,  Barbara Dawson - Abdul Jabbar.
And who we may ask are the four altruistic bastards helping us prosper out of the goodness of their hearts(rofl). We have Barbara Brownridge(who she?) - Jenny Harrison (she should be good for a bit of spin) Bernard Judge (not good).
And leaving the worst ‘til last last we have the despicable oily fuckpig Battye!  This is the lying, manipulative, conspiratorial piece of crap largely responsible for that glorious piece of Lie-bour history - the fucking off Woolas saga. How anyone could connive as he and his co-conspirator, Fitzpatrick did, resulting in the loss of a Lie-bour MP then be welcomed back by the Party and given a position of authority, beggars belief. If I had been Woolas I’d have returned and bitten Battye’s balls off and sewn 'em to his eyelids. Is this the sort of individual we want or need in a position of authority in the town? We have enough bad vibes as it is. Let’s have a campaign to fuck him off (preferably in as evil a manner as he employed with Woolas.) By the way did you all see in the local press, Battye’s star witness at the trial The woman he coached & drafted letters of complaint for, the Mcladdery woman, appeared in court charged with benefit fraud. A fucking good pair they make. They deserve each other!  (See post Dec 20/ 2010 'Question Time')

Anyhow, back to Sunny Jim and his cabinet of none of the talents. He tells us that: ’We have brought together a cabinet with real mix of talent, experience and passion to move Oldham forward. Goody! Where is it then Jimmy? Are you keeping it hidden and using the above band of nondescript, talentless fuckers as a cover?

Noooo! Folks that’s it. What you see is what you get, and that is very little indeed. Nothing will change. The blundering dinosaurs wallowing around in their private little Jurassic Park are incapable of change or adaptation, the very things that led to the extinction of their forbears 65 million years ago. Oh! Would that some cataclysmic disaster should strike The Tower Of Babble, sometime soon and finish the job

MONKEY SEE - MONKEY DO! - And the whole bloody issue was covered in *%!%

Why are we allowing more and more of the Lie-bour puffed up self aggrandisement to proliferate in our council chamber? First we had cabinets, now we have Cross Party Advisory Boards and back-Benchers.
Did any of you vote for your councillor to be a mere bit-player in the council farce? We have sixty money sponges on the council. Only twelve of whom are actually going to be making any decisions the other forty-eight are rubber stamps. The twelve we've got now are incapable of running a chip shop, never mind a town, as they have so inably demonstrated in the past. This is not national government. What the council is about is local matters. We vote local people into these positions to operate and improve our services. All councillors should have an equal voice. We should not have a cabal of members acting on some unknown agenda foisting their wishes on the rest of the members. Our councillor should not be dependent on arse licking of the 'Twelve' to get constituents problems aired. There is too much secrecy in the council chamber. It's time we all new what was going on, including ALL our elected representatives.How many will be on these 'Cross Party Advisory Boards?
If your representative isn't on these either, what is his position in the food chain? About one up from primaeval ooze I would guess. It would appear the only function of the low-lifes is to collect expense allowances. There are too many arses on chairs and fingers in pies for the system to function efficiently. We do not need three councillors for each ward. One per ward is well sufficient and let them all have an equal say in matters affecting all of us and the town. Let's have an elected Mayor, responsible to the people, instead of whoever has had his arse sat in the council chamber the longest. What we have doesn't work as the incumbents of the past thirty or forty years have proved. Enough of this Lie-bour dogma and pseudo job-creation . If the jumped up bastards want to wallow in cabinets, back-benchers, cross party boards let them stand for the palace of virtue at Westminster. Unfortunately most of our worthies wouldn't make it. They're too thick to be crooks.We dont want Oldham Lie-bour Council, or Oldham Tory Council or Oldham LD council or, heaven forbid another Oldham LD/Tory Coalition council. What we want is OLDHAM COUNCIL dedicated to the needs and aspirations of it's citizens. Free to make decisions affecting us all and  free of the pervasive influences emanating from London.


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