ON THE SEVENTH DAY GOD CREATED OMBC ....It's been downhill ever since!

MAY 12th 2011 << A Red Letter Day!

Seven-day pledge on assembly hall

Lie-bour vows to take action over eyesore building.

OLDHAM’S new Labour administration has vowed to take its first steps to transform Royton Assembly Hall within seven days. The Labour group has already held preliminary discussions over plans to reclaim the hall and says it will be one of its priorities. We don't want it fucking transforming. We want it bloody well finishing!

Manchester-based Whispers Developments bought the hall for £215,000 in 2002 with plans to turn it into a top-notch function venue. But nine years later, the scheme has failed to get up and running and the building remains unused.Unused? It's not even fucking finished!

The owner never paid a £3,500 fine last year for failing to secure the site, leading to Oldham County Court ordering the company to pay the council £6,699 for the works plus mounting legal costs.

Today Oldham Council was unable to confirm whether it had received the payment. Why the fuck not? This is our money. OMBC are accountable to us. Tell us the truth! Has the payment been lost? Is there no bookkeeping at OMBC?  Are the council saying they won't confirm it, claiming it's none of our business? Have bailiffs been sent forty-seven times as they would be if you or I owed 12pence on our council tax?

Councillor Bashforth Gushforth said: “Council leader Jim McMahon, (may his allowances swell), has confirmed his full support so we are eager to get the ball rolling and within the next seven days, as soon as I've wiped this shit off my nose, we will be getting a group together to hold talks with our legal team to start work on our options. So, talks will take place over plans to discuss  planning strategy  for meetings on the matter at which we will discuss talks to be held to plan further discussions, according to plan. By the way - Is this the same legal team that advised on the Vance Miller triumph?  If so we are in deep doo-doo once again.

Gushforth continued,“We are at a very early stage but we are hugely driven and determined to succeed, but there may be a few obstacles to pass after years of inaction.”  Years of inaction? Yer fucking right there pal! Nine of them. Most of them under the Lie-bour administration. Why would you change the habits of a lifetime now?  Nowt will happen. You couldn't pass a turd. 

He added that once the building has been inspected, the party will be planning for its future use with help from local residents and businesses. This, in Lie-bour parlance is known as a nonsultation. A mosque seems the likeliest outcome.

Cabinet member Councillor Phil Harrison Hardlysane, reading from the Jeremy Sutcliffe book of Lie-bour wit and repartee,  added: “What is important is that we move the situation forward." " It is very much on our agenda and I am confident that Jim, (may his expenses rise upwards), will deliver.” he added, wiping shit off his nose.


In order for our avid reader to keep track of the timeline during the seven day period, we have provided an elapsed time counter in the sidebar to the right. Follow the progress of this lightning fast saga as the greatest minds in this burgh do battle with the evil developers. Score to-date Evil Developers 3  OMBC  0

Why not contact Councillors Gushforth & Hardlysane or even drop a line to our good selves to express your thanks and  gratitude for their unstinting efforts. Contact our beloved leader Jim-Bob (may his bandwidth ever increase), on his lovingly crafted blog. Is it just me or can anyone else smell shit?  (Blow your nose. Ed) 

Coun Gushforth                                                                      Coun Harrison
53 Penthorpe Drive                                                                 33 Saffron Drive
Royton                                                                                  Moorside
Oldham                                                                                 Oldham
OL2 6JL                                                                                OL 2PU
0170 290313                                                                          0161 624 2717
stevenbashforth@oldham.gov.uk                                              philipharrison@oldham.gov.uk