ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST!
Sports retailer JJB is closing down its Oldham store in The Spindles Shopping Centre.
A closure sign has been posted on the two-storey former C&A unit and the company confirmed doors will close for the last time on Sunday, July 3.
The national retailer moved into the shopping mall 10 years ago.
Spindles Shopping Centre manager, weak brained mong, Mike Flanagan, said: “It is disappointing to see them go, but the landlord is working hard to fill this unit and the other units we have that are empty. Disappointing? You're easily disappointed then Flanagan. We reckon it's more of a disaster. Who's going to take these units? For years there have been empty stores in this development. No national chains are interested in coming to this blighted town. The Spindles is one of the reasons for the decline of the town as a shopping centre. It effectively cuts the town centre in two. To the south and west of the monstrosity virtually all commerce has been wiped out, leaving but a kernel around Curzon St, Albion St & Henshaw St. to masquerade as a town centre. Everything in Oldham has been built in the wrong place. As I believe we have mentioned before, the Sports Stadium (A) should have been on Hobson Street and the multi-storey car park (B) should be on Lord Street opposite the Tommyfield ex-market. That's where you want your main car park. In the fucking town centre. It's not rocket science is it? (Well maybe it is to the mentally deficient tossers in the Tower Of Babble).
Now for the pant-wetting exciting fucking latest!
A new addition opened in Town Square on Wednesday — Bet you can't guess what it is can you folks? Ok. Give in? It's a cock-sucking jewellery store. Hip, Hip, Hoo-fucking-Ray. Just what we wanted. Don't know how we've managed all these years without one. Oh shit! you wait years for one then they all come along together. There's another one opening on Saturday. Who is buying all this jewellery? The lumpen faced prats traipsing around the city of the dead every day in their depression coloured anoraks and ill fitting jeans? Is it the Saddleworth squirearchy sending it's menials down to the land of brown paper windows to replenish their solid gold, navel fluff boxes, or have their tiaras re-strung?
Surely we could have some variety in our stores. The town is crying out for a store like 'Pound Universe' for example, or a really unstylish dress shop or why not a 'Cheepanasties' furniture store? Judging by the way Oldhamers seem happy with the same old shit, perhaps a store selling donkey stones, dolly tubs and possers would go down a bomb. (Ask yer granny!)
It's a lot of wasted space for thirteen jewellery stores!
ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS KEEP SAYING .... NO!
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