THE BAD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY!

MORE decision-making power is coming to Oldham as part of sweeping changes to all six district partnerships across the borough.

Changes will include each district partnership having a central hub and a satellite base.

Current area manager positions will be scrapped and replaced with new, more senior district co-ordinator posts. Translation: Area managers will be promoted, regardless of lack of talent or ability, to district co-ordinators.

Each area will have its own environment manager.  This is part of Lie-bour's plan to reduce managerial posts. .
A £360,000 central pot will be available for large projects. How B-I-G will these projects be with £360K divvied up between six of 'em? In addition, each ward will get its own £30,000 priority fund, as well as £25,000 for highways schemes. £25K will go absolutely nowhere on highway schemes. Never mind I'm sure the members involved will find a use for the cash!
It is also planned to give each councillor £2,000 and they will also have to take part in extra troughing training.  By our reckoning we're up to about three-quarters of a mil on this. Good to see Lie-bour back to their scrimping and saving.

Council leader Jim McMahon, reading from the Jeremy Sutcliffe book of Lie-bour wit and repartee said: “This will separate good councillors from bad councillors and leave bad councillors exposed.”

His ridiculousness Suttie, asked, last week, in the OEC , who these bad councillors were.
Well now. We are going to put him out of his misery and expose the bad councillors. Suttie or Meacher's haemorrhoid as we call him, because of where he is always to be found, is not a councillor, he is an ex-councillor but thinks he is still sucking the public tit. He knows everything and nowt, spouts drivel like the TUC handbook and generally bores the shit out of everybody. So let's have him first

HERE WE GO           
HERE ARE THE PILLOCKS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONDITIONS WE ARE LIVING IN

Jeremy Mithering Twat Sutcliffe - Pretentious self opinionated pillock. Expert on everything in this town. Has the cure for all the ills of the place. So! How come the jumped up little twat didn't do anything when he had the reins of power in his hands? Because he's all wind and piss, a Lie-bour yes man, toeing the party line. Not a free thought in that pixie head like all the rest of his red brethren. He hurt his finger when Meacher's arse clapped shut unexpectedly  as he was reaching for a pearl of wisdom.



J.M.T. Sutcliffe

 Martin Diedoff - The invisible man.

Jenny Hardlysane - half of the Hardlysane money sponge dynasty.

Huge McDonald - Makes Peter Dean look intelligent.

John Hudson - Wet like the river

Colin McLaren - named after a supercar. The Colin was never a success.

Eddie Moores -  Why didn't Mom listen when they said: 'Don't have Eddie Moores, Mrs Moores.

Barbara Brownbread - Crumbs!

Dave Houle - sartorial elegance personified.

Jack Hulme - Syke's glove puppet.

Dave Fibber - Diddy Dave, perennial moaner in local press.

Graham Shuttlecock - Another lightweight

Joy Wriggleswell -   Will give you that come-hither look, or is it go-yonder?

My main areas of concern are, benefits, grants and the provision of affordable six or seven bedroom housing for the hard working people of Oldham

Same here.

Me too

John Dimmun & Philamean Chitin Another of the teat sucking dynasties. Renowned for their sparkling gaiety & joie de vivre.

Ann Opengate -   The hairstyle from hell.

Babs Drawerson -  MMA Heavyweight challenger.

Paul Fartin - The original face in the crowd. No speaking parts as yet.

Jimmy Madman - Sunny Jim, Wayne Rooney look alike but not as bright.

Ian Barking - Changed sides more times than an Italian deserter.

John Badboy -  Evil tosser behind the Woolas fiasco. Allowance grabber supreme.

Glenys Buttfroth - An angry silence


.

Phil Holly - The prick we get once a year.

Jean Stretcher - A heavyweight

Stevie Ray Williams - The Limeside Cowboy

My main area of concern is benefits, grants and the provision of affordable six or seven bedroom homes for hardworking Oldhamers.

Same here.

Goes for me too.

Olways Chatterin - Empty 'ead

Bernie Judge - A bad one

Tony Larrikin - The lumpen proletariat.

 Steve Gushforth - All wind and piss.

Phil Hardlysane - The other half of the public-tit sucking Hardlysanes.

Diane Willia......Who?

Mike Buckboard - Full of green credentials and crap.

Derek Havinone - Was great in Oh Mr Porter with Will Hay...Done nothing since.

Alan Roughedge - The Denshaw Dimwit.

Dick Knowless - From Greenfield. It's village idiot.

John McCann - A smile, a hop & a skip as we go through life.

Graham Seldom - Seldom seen, seldom heard.

Adie Alexander - Having a ragged time of it. Unemployed ex rugby player we're told.

Babs Beery & Val Segway - Looking for an opportunity to star in panto.

Allcock - By name not nature. Last proper job- milk monitor. Now wants everybody's job.

Rod Blithely - Supremely forgetable.

Howie 'Fat Boy Sykes' - Former chief eater of  OMBC. Perk meister bar none.

Roger Hinders - Rose without trace

Nige Newton - Crackers. Related to the Figg-Newtons

Jackie Starturn - Gipsy fortune teller and peg seller.

My main area of concern is benefits, grants and the provision of affordable six and seven bedroom housing for the hard working people of Oldham.

Hear-Hear!

I have also agreement with you.

Winter Drawerson - In it for the money.

Peter Dim - Here he is 'The vacuum abhorred by nature'. Member of brains trust with Huge Mcdonald.

Lynne Topspin - Tuppence on herself. Overpriced.

My main area of concern is benefits, grants & the provision of affordable six & seven bedroom housing for the hard working people of Oldham.

 I also

I want to make sure all planning applications are adhered to correctly, innit.

 
So that's it then for the bad councillors a comprehensive list of the good ones follows:-


So now you have seen the bunch of nincompoops, nitwits, halfwits, talentless, clueless brain-dead farts who supposedly are running this town. Be afraid! Be very afraid! Looking at that gallery of incompetents is it any wonder the town is in the shit state it is? Just look at the intelligence shining out at you. What makes them think and us believe they have the nous to run anything? Look at them, most of them would struggle to run a bath.  A waste of space, a waste of time, a waste of oxygen. For what? Oldham! A wasteland!!!


DON'T BLAME US YOU VOTED FOR THE TOSSERS....YOU COULD HAVE...YOU SHOULD HAVE, SAID....NO !!

IN OLDHAM - 770 VACANT PROPERTIES: 60 VACANT COUNCILLORS!

According to a report in the Oldham Advertiser, gleaned under the FOI Act, more than 770 commercial properties are currently classed as vacant in the town.
Two thirds of these former shops, stores, offices, workshops and warehouses have become empty since the start of the recession and show  how sick the borough has become.

A current report reveals that Oldham is unlikely to recover from the 2,000 job cuts suffered since 2009 until at least 2018.  Hundreds more jobs are also expected to be lost over the next five years as public sector cuts begin to bite.

The high number of vacant properties concerns Coun Barbara Brownridge, Oldham council’s deputy cabinet member for degeneration, who has promised to do all she can to assist growth. That won't be very much then.
Coun Brownbread said: "Oldham is a place people and businesses can and should invest in. The trouble is empty properties do not give that impression."  That's right they give the impression people and businesses can't and won't.


She prattled on, "We are limited to what we can do with properties that aren’t publicly owned." As opposed to the miracles we've worked with those that are.  "We can go around the back so to speak, developing a strategy of engagement,  (is this not a crime under the sexual offences act?), showing the benefits Metrolink and high speed broadband will bring." Go on name them then, especially the lure of high speed broadband as opposed to slow speed trams. "We can also raise the town’s profile to encourage investment and entrepreneurs." Anyone care to hazard a guess how much raising will be required?  We reckon this mob of know-nowts would struggle from now to doomsday to raise the towns profile to zero.

According to OMBC the vacant properties include 382 stores, 108 offices, 76 workshops, 68 shops, 53 warehouses, 12 pubs and four former banks.

The town centre has the highest number of empty premises with 225
Fifteen of the 770 have laid empty since 1995. It'll need some profile raising to fill premises empty sixteen years!
Property expert Ian Hill , director of Ryder and Dutton in Oldham, said a lack of lending is holding back a will for business to take on vacant premises. He said: "There is a lot of desire in Oldham to do something with these vacant properties, (most of 'em involving matches and petrol), but the potential buyers tell us they are fed up with being rejected by the banks, and they’ve given up." And people think the banks are stupid? Would you lend money on a start-up business in Oldham?


Meanwhile in an alternate universe, Mike Flanagan, manager of Spindles and Town Square shopping centres and away with the fairies, said there is some room for optimism in a stable retail sector. S-T-A-B-L-E!! Three of your biggest names have just bolted from the fucking stable. They have off-fucked fer Gawds's sake.
Whilst big names like HMV, the Disney Store and, within weeks, JJB leave the town, he is buoyant about the future. Much like the Titanic was buoyant. Until someone asked for ice!
He said: "We are definitely holding our own considering the economic climate. If things in Oldham centre don't pick up soon sunshine, all that will remain for you to do will be stand around holding YOUR own.
"The reality is that we have a number of vacancies and the owners and their agents are working hard to fill them.  HMV, Disney & JJB? Hard acts to follow there. How many jewellery stores will it take to make good the shortfall?  Here's an idea knock all the interior walls down and create the world's largest 'Pound Store'. Folks would come from yards around. 'Pan-Galactic Pound Shop', there's a target to aim for.
"If negotiations with some of the big name retailers we are talking to come off, we could have some exciting additions in the near future," he mumbled, constrained by the tightness of the straitjacket. Which big name retailers would want to gamble on spending thousands opening up in a town with 770 empty premises, 225 of them in what is left of the town centre? Do tell us!
Anyhow when the MissingLink eventually chugs into Oldham nobody will want to go to the poxy shopping centres like Bury, Manchester, Ashton, Bolton. Will they? Problem solved!

ONLY ONE GOOD THING EVER CAME OUT OF HOLLINWOOD ....!

Hip, Hip, Hooray!! Regeneration is just around the corner!
OMBC has signed an agreement with property investment and development firm Langtree to bring business and leisure developments to four sites. Yippee! the town centre will be all a-buzz again! Er, sorry, No. When we said just around the corner it's actually three miles down the road in Hollinwood.
Plans include attracting new businesses at the former mill site in Albert Street — including a cinema.

Oldham’s last picture house was the now-demolished Roxy just pissing distance from the proposed new development,  which closed its doors in 2005 after 69 years of business. Mainly because of some grandiose hidden agenda that the Lie-bour council had up it's sleeve and also because business had fallen dramatically.

Council leader Jim McMahon  Madman said: “Attracting a cinema will be dependant on the current market but we think it’s a very good place for it.  Is the moronic twat all there. Who's going to frequent the place? The citizens of Failsworth and Hollinwood? They didn't do much for the old Roxy which was nearer to civilisation than this pipe dream will be. How are patrons to get there? Is this where the Metro Missing Link will come into it's own? How will folks get from Hollinwood station to Albert Street? Will there be a skywalk, a subterranean passageway, will we have to leg it up Hollinwood Ave and attempt to cross, what is a nightmare junction in the light of day, but on a dark and rainswept night in midwinter will be suicide alley?

“By signing on the dotted line Oldham Council has signalled its commitment to work with Langtree to transform this area into a destination which will attract investors and new businesses.”, said the clueless fucker. Where will it attract investors and new businesses from and why would they want to come here?  There is no infrastructure in place to accommodate new companies. There is no business plan for Oldham. No-one on Oldham Council has the faintest idea of 'business'.

Langtree was chosen as the council’s development partner in 2007 but the credit crunch forced both parties to review their plans. They are now ready to return to the market....... But hold a moment.
Our own Charlie Chuckles "Turd" Parker was previously the director of investment and performance at English Partnerships and a member of its executive management board. Two members of langtree's board were also at English Partnerships: From langtree's website:  John Downes.  John is the Managing Director of Langtree.  Before joining Langtree he held a senior position with English Partnerships in Liverpool.
 Stephen Barnes.  Stephen Barnes is a Chartered Surveyor and Langtree’s Board Director (Development). He has been with Langtree for 8 years. During this time, Stephen has been heavily involved in growing Langtree's development business and encouraging the Company's partnership with the public sector. Previously, Stephen spent 5 years with the North West Development Agency and English Partnerships.
Coincidence.....or what?????


Managing director John Downes said: “Hollinwood’s proximity to the M60 and other key gateways makes it an incredibly desirable proposition for ambitious investors.” Don't think much of HIS judgement then. It is a cramped site with difficult access. Methinks the keyword here is 'investors', think tax write offs.

Does anyone in the Lie-bour administration ever give a moments thought to all these new fangled ideas they keep coming up with?  A bee in their bonnet from 2007 and they're off and running again, can't wait to start squandering OUR money. In case you've forgotten Sunny Jim and your band of pillocks it's supposed to be the town we're regenerating cos the MissingLink is going to bring people in in vast hordes. Or has this been the agenda all along, let's have the trams so we can shift people out of town?


To show that there are people still left in Oldham, capable of rational thought, we reproduce a comment from the OEC Thurs 23/6. This comment was sent by ProDriver who seems to have more planning nous than the whole of OMBC. Read it you numb brainfarts of council drones! Read it Sunny Jim!  It might not be the complete answer, but by fuck it's a lot better idea than yours.
THINK - THINK - THINK -THINK - THINK- THINK - THINK - THINK - THINK

Anyone agree with us? If so contact your councillor. Let them know what WE think, what WE want. What we need are facilities within easy reach of the whole borough not holed up in a field, miles away at the side of a motorway!  

"Good grief Jim, are you mad? Spending all this money on Metrolink to the town centre, then going back to the site of a failed cinema??

Instead of a park and ride on the old B&Q site, that whole area should have been prime leisure development land. Right by the dual carriageway, right on a main route into Oldham from densely populated areas and right by Metrolink. Are you people for real?"

By ProDriver @ 23/06/2011 18:10:45

EXCELLENT !!!  COME ON PEOPLE OF OLDHAM BACK HIM UP! LET'S MAKE OUR VOICES HEARD!   The Wulfe

NEXT TRAM'S GONE....!

Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the non-arrival of the first tram. Somebody promised somebody else something, you know how it is. Anyhow, to cut a long story short, it's fucked off to Chorlton!  It won't be coming morons. We did have a small problem with track-laying in as much as the southbound track-laying team just missed  meeting up with the northbound track-laying team. It was only a midge's out, but for a while no-one caught on until one ganger, smarter than the rest, realised the line was passing through the centre of Stoke-on-Trent. There were a few red faces I can tell you. Some numb fuck  A transport expert proposed the bright idea of a non-stop line from Oldham to Burslem. This idea was dropped when it was realised that Oldham and Burslem are virtually identical shit-heaps and it was felt passengers may get confused and not know which end of the line they were at so we took up the track and threw it away. This appeared to us to be the cheapest option.  In the coming months we are going to fuck and fiddle about with various portions of the system  pile of shite, probably until sometime next year or maybe later, depending on how arsed we are about it. In the meanwhile keep smiling folks, look how much brighter it is around the Mumps area now we have got rid of all that ugly shite cluttering up the place. We shall, for the foreseeable future, continue to dig up every tossing road in the area. We depreciate your business and know how much it pisses you off having to detour via Chapel-en-le-Frith. But look on the bright side folks you are getting to see places you'd only dreamt of previously. As soon as we get this latest super technological system overpriced heap of junk up and running, we will inform you, our travelling public. As compensation for to-days disappointment we plan to offer various chances for passengers to participate in the operation of this new cutting edge technology simple Victorian transport system. To start with,  in the weeks immediately after the off, we shall be offering ring-side seats as passengers get to see first hand how we deal with a derailment. Seats for this spectacle will be allocated according to how many days travellers have been trapped on the platform at Mumps.  Passengers on the stricken vehicle will, of course, incur no further charges while the entertainment  rescue takes place, other than hot drinks and meals from the TfGM trolley, which will pass along the tram, twice daily. Other treats planned include points failure viewing, signalling problems explained (sort of) and talks. complete with detailed
 drawings of how you managed to fetch up in Barrow in Furness.

Other than that folks, keep your moaning gobs shut. We know what we are doing, (we do! Don't we Dad?) and if we get stuck we can always ask Coun Knowless, he's a perfesser and expert on transport technology, he says.
That's the end of this update message folks. Just a reminder that fares will increase by a measly eighteen percent next week, but will still represent excellent value for money. Thank you for travelling Metrolink and we hope you have a pleasant and safe journey.


A. Spokesperson:

METROLINK .... MAKING LIFE EASIER FOR MORONS

ON THE SEVENTH DAY GOD CREATED OMBC ....It's been downhill ever since!

MAY 12th 2011 << A Red Letter Day!

Seven-day pledge on assembly hall

Lie-bour vows to take action over eyesore building.

OLDHAM’S new Labour administration has vowed to take its first steps to transform Royton Assembly Hall within seven days. The Labour group has already held preliminary discussions over plans to reclaim the hall and says it will be one of its priorities. We don't want it fucking transforming. We want it bloody well finishing!

Manchester-based Whispers Developments bought the hall for £215,000 in 2002 with plans to turn it into a top-notch function venue. But nine years later, the scheme has failed to get up and running and the building remains unused.Unused? It's not even fucking finished!

The owner never paid a £3,500 fine last year for failing to secure the site, leading to Oldham County Court ordering the company to pay the council £6,699 for the works plus mounting legal costs.

Today Oldham Council was unable to confirm whether it had received the payment. Why the fuck not? This is our money. OMBC are accountable to us. Tell us the truth! Has the payment been lost? Is there no bookkeeping at OMBC?  Are the council saying they won't confirm it, claiming it's none of our business? Have bailiffs been sent forty-seven times as they would be if you or I owed 12pence on our council tax?

Councillor Bashforth Gushforth said: “Council leader Jim McMahon, (may his allowances swell), has confirmed his full support so we are eager to get the ball rolling and within the next seven days, as soon as I've wiped this shit off my nose, we will be getting a group together to hold talks with our legal team to start work on our options. So, talks will take place over plans to discuss  planning strategy  for meetings on the matter at which we will discuss talks to be held to plan further discussions, according to plan. By the way - Is this the same legal team that advised on the Vance Miller triumph?  If so we are in deep doo-doo once again.

Gushforth continued,“We are at a very early stage but we are hugely driven and determined to succeed, but there may be a few obstacles to pass after years of inaction.”  Years of inaction? Yer fucking right there pal! Nine of them. Most of them under the Lie-bour administration. Why would you change the habits of a lifetime now?  Nowt will happen. You couldn't pass a turd. 

He added that once the building has been inspected, the party will be planning for its future use with help from local residents and businesses. This, in Lie-bour parlance is known as a nonsultation. A mosque seems the likeliest outcome.

Cabinet member Councillor Phil Harrison Hardlysane, reading from the Jeremy Sutcliffe book of Lie-bour wit and repartee,  added: “What is important is that we move the situation forward." " It is very much on our agenda and I am confident that Jim, (may his expenses rise upwards), will deliver.” he added, wiping shit off his nose.


In order for our avid reader to keep track of the timeline during the seven day period, we have provided an elapsed time counter in the sidebar to the right. Follow the progress of this lightning fast saga as the greatest minds in this burgh do battle with the evil developers. Score to-date Evil Developers 3  OMBC  0

Why not contact Councillors Gushforth & Hardlysane or even drop a line to our good selves to express your thanks and  gratitude for their unstinting efforts. Contact our beloved leader Jim-Bob (may his bandwidth ever increase), on his lovingly crafted blog. Is it just me or can anyone else smell shit?  (Blow your nose. Ed) 

Coun Gushforth                                                                      Coun Harrison
53 Penthorpe Drive                                                                 33 Saffron Drive
Royton                                                                                  Moorside
Oldham                                                                                 Oldham
OL2 6JL                                                                                OL 2PU
0170 290313                                                                          0161 624 2717
stevenbashforth@oldham.gov.uk                                              philipharrison@oldham.gov.uk

TIP TO CLOSE!! .....No! not the town centre !

Greater Manchester Waste Disposal Authority (GMWDA) has voted for plans to close four public rubbish tips.
The sites – in Oldham, Prestwich, Heywood and Bolton – are now expected to shut within three months.
The closure decision, first announced in March, was ratified at the annual general meeting of the Authority held at Dukinfield Town Hall. After bosses said the move would save the authority around £875,000.

The four tips are at Chandos Street, Shaw; the Drinkwater Park site on Clifton Road, Prestwich; Peel Lane, Heywood, near Rochdale, and Union Road, Bolton. The GMWDA has twenty-one members drawn from all the councils in GM. It's erstwhile leader is our own, our very own, Charlie Chuckles - 'Turd' parker. The members from Oldham listed on the GMWDA website are Philomena Dillon and that ping pong ball of local politics, the waste of space Len Quinn. Quinn couldn't make his mind up which party to join at the local elections and fucked off into the wilderness. Philamean Chittyin is a complete waste of the earth's precious resources. So who knows which pair of tit-suckers represented this town. Probably Battye, Battye or Battye if there's any allowances going. 

Two members of the Authority AB-FUCKING-STAINED from voting. The gutless fuckers escape route! Is this what we pay taxes for?  So fuckbrains who are frightened of their own shadow can smarm about all day without having to engage their brain cell? Abstentions should be banned.

Now we come to the strange bit as reported in the local press, (not the OEC by the way). Of the nineteen worthless tossers remaining eleven voted for the above closures. 
BUT NOW
Six councillors – the authority's representatives from Bury, Oldham and Rochdale – left the meeting before discussions were held and a vote taken. Anyone care to explain????

Coun Lambert, leader of Rochdale council, said: “It is a sad day for local residents in each of the areas affected by this decision. We always knew that we had a hard battle in front of us but I believe the decision was effectively taken in March. I'd say the decision was effectively taken when the pillocks from Bury, Oldham and Rochdale fucked off from the meeting and surrendered. 

 
Lib Dem coun Mark Alcock, who led a campaign in Oldham, criticised a public consultation period into the plans and said the closure would cause more residents to dump recyclable waste in general household waste bins.  Hah!  Alcock (by name not nature) Hoist by his own petard. Now he has some idea of how a nonsultation works.
”
The closure issue has prompted a storm of protest from residents in Oldham, Bury and Rochdale.
But waste bosses said the budget savings needed – around 20 per cent of the authority's controllable spend – could not be found from any other source. The fifteen who remained in the meeting and for the vote, said that of course.

DON'T SAY WE DIDN'T WARN YOU ....NO! NO! NO!!!!

WILLY PULL IT OFF??

Dave Prentis Penis heads Unison, a union with more than 1.3 million members, most of whom work in the public sector. He has promised to unleash the biggest wave of industrial action "since the general strike" of 1926. Several other union bosses workshy fuckers have also promised to orchestrate a mass walkout of public sector workers. "It won't be the miners' strike," claims Penis. "We are going to win."

What has caused this vomit inducing diatribe is the Government's attempts to make public sector pensions fairer and more affordable.  Lord Hutton, the former Labour minister, produced the groundbreaking report on pension reform, published in the spring. This formed the basis for the Coalition's plan to raise the general retirement age in the public sector from 60 to 66, move from a final salary scheme to one based on career-average earnings and to increase contributions by an average 3.2 per cent. Hutton explains in the Sunday Telegraph, there is no alternative to this: given the additional years that people now live, public sector pensions cannot be sustained at their present level of generosity. The Coalition's proposals, which derive directly from Lord Hutton's report, involve workers in the public sector retiring at 66 rather than 60 – in other words, at the state pension age – and paying an average of around 3 per cent more towards the cost of their pensions. To ensure the change is fair, those on lower salaries will not have to increase their pension contributions. It is the contributions of those on the highest earnings that will increase the most; they will also lose the most when the pension moves from being based on final salary to a career average. That, as Lord Hutton also points out, is fair: At present, the lowest-paid workers are subsidising the pensions of the highest-paid.

you may think that the union leaders would appreciate the justice of the proposals. Not a bit of it. Union bosses are determined to do battle with the Government, and pensions have fuck all to do with it and are merely a pretext. In fact, Penis and his colleagues have stated explicitly that the real point is to oppose the Coalition's attempts to deal with the deficit by reducing state spending, which will impinge on their sordid little empires by reducing their client base. Since when was it a union's job to oppose the Government?  That's the function of the opposition. The function of  the greedy pigs of union leaders consists of getting as much of our money as possible into their pockets and fuck everybody else including their own members. Will said members follow them into the trenches? Follow is a bit misleading as the actual order is, 'Follow me lads, I'm right behind you!'  We believe that the majority will have the good sense not to. Four unions have voted to go on strike on June 30, three of them representing teachers. Are we not all getting pissed off with the, so- called teachers, forever whining and threatening? We'd think more of them if they were turning out a half-decent end product. Even though the majorities in favour of action look ominous, most members did not vote for it: indeed they did not vote at all. Each ballot involved a plebiscite in which fewer than half of the eligible members took part. Hardly a ringing endorsement of strike action. But  strike they will.

This boosts the case for a change in the law, put forward recently by the Mayor of London among others, that would require a minimum turnout of 50 per cent of members before a strike ballot is valid. Ministers last week said that they see "no need" to change the law. We do and we should tell these 'Ministers' our feelings on the matter. We think that if union leaders call a strike, a majority of their members should have at least participated in the vote. Contrary to what the Jurassic union leaders tell us, we, the public do not support them.  70 per cent of private sector workers have no pension, other than the state minimum, and do not see why they should pay ever more tax in order to fund generous pensions for public sector workers – who are, on average, paid substantially more. Mr Penis may say that the wave of industrial action "won't be the miners' strike". But if the blinkered obstinacy of the union leaders continues, the similarities with that debacle will be only too obvious.

The Public Sector Pensions Commission has accused successive governments of hiding the true cost of public sector pensions and raised fresh concerns about the state's £1 trillion of retirement promises.

In a comprehensive report it calls for urgent reform of the civil servants' gold-plated benefits. According to its analysis, public sector employees must save more than 40pc of their salary each year to fund their benefits but the amount actually being set aside is just 20pc – of which employees are providing only 6pc.

The shortfall has left taxpayers with a growing bill to plug the gap. In 2008, the top-up was £2.29bn. By 2011, it is expected to be £4.6bn. Including employer contributions made by Government departments, the cost to taxpayers in 2011 is forecast to be £18bn– or £700 per household. In a further bombshell the Commission claimed that if properly measured, the current service cost is actually over £35bn a year.

The Institute of Economic Affairs which produced the document, said: "This report underlines the urgent need for the Government to take action. Successive governments have avoided this issue for far too long."

The coalition Government has moved pension reform to the top of the agenda, and appointed the former Labour minister John Hutton to chair the commission on the matter.

The Institute of Actuaries, said: "The Government has hidden behind costings which pretend that the unfunded schemes earn a return well above [market rates] ... Like an unstable Ponzi scheme, it will only work if tomorrow's generations are able to stomach a higher cost to pay for the unfunded promises made today."
The size of public sector pension liabilities has been estimated at £770bn by the Treasury but actuaries Towers Watson put the true figure at  £1.18 trillion. 

And this prick Prentis Penis, ignoring all the evidence, says government cuts were hitting public services hardest. If the cunt lived in the real world instead of the rarefied atmosphere afforded by his £130,00 pa pay packet, he would know that workers in the private sector have been tightening their belts for some time.

As for the striking teachers, they will face significant public anger, especially after an Ofsted report said almost half of all schools in England are failing to provide children with a good education.  Some forty-five percent of schools inspected by Ofsted in the last eight months were ranked no better than "satisfactory", it was disclosed.  More than one in twenty primary or secondary schools were declared "inadequate"  - the watchdog's lowest possible rating.  Heads up on the picket lines and the marches teachers, there's something to be proud of !!  

THERE WAS I DIGGING THIS 'OLE ....!

Oldham Road, Failsworth. One large hole in road surrounded by barriers and fencing. How long has it been festering there? A mere six months! Half a year the bastard thing has lain in the road disrupting traffic day after day. Has anything been done about it? Fuck no! But great minds are now thinking about it, as it has been realised that it won't heal up on it's own. Holes are now the remit of Counc Dave  Fibber Hibbert cabinet member for Arsing, Traipsing and Degeneration. He inherited this from the previous administration where it was filled by Counc Allcock (by name not nature), the position that is, not the hole. So the greatest minds in the known universe have been employed on the problem for months? N-o-o-o, not really. But we may be reaching a pivotal moment in the art of holemanship. Diddy, daddy Dave says, wait for it, "The problem is due to a collapsed culvert."  Phew! Thank God for that. Some of us were thinking it must be a black hole or a wormhole in space at least. But don't get complacent we are not out of the woods yet. Fibber tells us," This is a complex repair and we are working on a scheme to provide a long term solution." Ah, I see we are working on a plan to formulate a plan to plan the work we intend to carry out according to plan. Got that? Why not ask Fatarse Allcock (by name not nature), he should know all about culverts and 'oles. After all he spent most of the last administration stood in one on Rochdale Rd. Failing that, we have a cunning plan to cure the depression.

First: Dig largish hole down to culvert, sewer or whatever.
Second: Mend culvert, sewer or whatever.
Third: Fill in largish hole.
Fourth: Drop dollop of tarmac on top and roll for ten minutes or so with heavy round object (see Allcock (by name not nature)).
Fifth: Have a brew and a fag, fuck off home early.

I guess what we are saying is - GET YOUR FUCKING FINGER OUT  'IBBERT.  There have been holes in roads since time immoral. This is stone age science. It doesn't need schemes it needs three blokes with a digger and two shovels. You did enough spouting about what useless wankers the Lib-Dems were. I guess it takes one to know one. FILL IN or FUCK OFF!

IF YOU'D SAID....NO! WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS SHIT!

LET MUMMY KISS IT BETTER THEN....!

The Pennine Acute Trust, which runs the Royal Oldham Hospital, is looking for savings of £45M this year but has paid out £1.24m to management consultants in just three months.
Consultancy firm Ernst and Young received £100,000 in December £765,000 in March, and £376,000 in April, a total of £1,241,000.
A Trust spokesman said extra support and skills were needed to find ways of transforming services and making savings. “Using management consultants means we can get the extra support and skills we need without the added cost of hiring additional permanent staff.”
A couple of quick questions here guys.
Para 1 says the Pennine Acute Trust  'RUNS the ROH. What sort of running is it that has you spending millions of our money to do your job that you are being well paid for in the first place?
'Extra support and skills needed to transform services and make savings?'  What the fuck are we paying you chair polishers for then? Surely YOUR job is to provide the best services at the best prices all the time.

“Using management consultants means we can get the extra support and skills we need without the added cost of hiring additional permanent staff.” So you bunch of fucking moronic clusterfucks, paying £1.241Million to the parasitic 'management consultants' Ernst & Young is not added cost? What the fuckety fuck is it then? It becomes ever clearer that no bastard at PAT has the slightest clue on how to run anything. They are all quango squatting sponges. Isn't  it bloody easy to spend money when it's not your own? Do they realise they are now looking for savings of £46.24Million plus several more millions when the leeches at E&Y have stretched the job out several more months.

Is there nobody in the NHS with the nous to run a health authority efficiently and economically without us having to resort to the bloodsuckers of accountants who have never run a business of any sort and would be baffled by the mechanics of a whelk stall.

NO! NO! NO!....KEEP REPEATING IT. EVENTUALLY THEY'LL HEAR US

DADDY GONNA BUY YOU A DIAMOND RING...!

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST!

Sports retailer JJB is closing down its Oldham store in The Spindles Shopping Centre.
A closure sign has been posted on the two-storey former C&A unit and the company confirmed doors will close for the last time on Sunday, July 3.
The national retailer moved into the shopping mall 10 years ago.
Spindles Shopping Centre manager, weak brained mong, Mike Flanagan, said: “It is disappointing to see them go, but the landlord is working hard to fill this unit and the other units we have that are empty. Disappointing? You're easily disappointed then Flanagan. We reckon it's more of a disaster. Who's going to take these units? For years there have been empty stores in this development. No national chains are interested in coming to this blighted town. The Spindles  is one of the reasons for the decline of the town as a shopping centre. It effectively cuts the town centre in two. To the south and west of the monstrosity virtually all commerce has been wiped out, leaving but a kernel around Curzon St, Albion St & Henshaw St. to masquerade as a town centre. Everything in Oldham has been built in the wrong place. As I believe we have mentioned before, the Sports Stadium (A) should have been on Hobson Street and the multi-storey car park (B) should be on Lord Street opposite the Tommyfield ex-market. That's where you want your main car park. In the fucking town centre. It's not rocket science is it? (Well maybe it is to the mentally deficient tossers in the Tower Of Babble).

Now for the pant-wetting exciting fucking latest!
A new addition opened in Town Square on Wednesday — Bet you can't guess what it is can you folks? Ok. Give in?  It's a cock-sucking jewellery store. Hip, Hip, Hoo-fucking-Ray. Just what we wanted. Don't know how we've managed all these years without one. Oh shit! you wait years for one then they all come along together. There's another one opening on Saturday. Who is buying all this jewellery? The lumpen faced prats traipsing around the city of the dead every day in their depression coloured anoraks and ill fitting jeans? Is it the Saddleworth squirearchy sending it's menials down to the land of brown paper windows to replenish their solid gold, navel fluff boxes, or have their tiaras re-strung?
Surely we could have some variety in our stores. The town is crying out for a store like 'Pound Universe' for example, or a really unstylish dress shop or why not a 'Cheepanasties' furniture store? Judging by the way Oldhamers seem happy with the same old shit, perhaps a store selling donkey stones, dolly tubs and possers would go down a bomb. (Ask yer granny!)
It's a lot of wasted space for thirteen jewellery stores! 

ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS KEEP SAYING .... NO!

A GOTTLE OF GEER - Or a goose!

Did anyone notice this hilarious piece of "Oldham Art' failed to reach it's reserve price at Christie’s in London this week.
The  painting by William Stott of Oldham, called Happy Valley had been expected to reach around £120,000.
Is it just me or is there anybody else out there would have the screaming hab-dabs with that hung on the parlour wall? Happy Valley?? Just look at the pair of them. I'd hate to meet them when they were miserable. If it's so fucking happy why isn't she gazing adoringly at the guy in the frock? Are those her hands or is she romantically clutching two pounds of  Wall's pork sausages? He seems to be inviting her to chuck herself in the stream. With a face like hers, I don't blame him.  Has he just discovered 'she' is really Harry Bamforth from Hollinwood and has just discarded the packet of three he had brought for the occasion? Where's his left hand? Is he a ventriloquist practising in a quiet spot with his dummy? Has he just dug her up out of Hollinwood Cemetery? Has she led him up the garden path and is now refusing to go all the way? (This theory was explored by Jeannie C O'Riley on her best selling record 'Happy Valley PT, Hey!)
Daisy Nook was never like this in the old days. Ask Lowry.

PS The frame's nice! It would set off my 'Green Woman' a treat!

THE POSTMAN NEVER RINGS AT ALL!

FRESH fears are looming for postal workers after reports suggested up to 40,000 more jobs could go.
Des Carney, national representative for the Communication Workers Union and death wish artist, said if the figures are to be believed, it could mean that delivery offices attached to sub-post offices in Greenfield, Dobcross and Uppermill could be moved down to Oldham.
“Oldham’s sorting centre has already closed, with about 150 staff going to Manchester."  The tram will be a godsend to them when it arrives then. 
“Now we’ve got to evaluate what the impact could be of the redundancies — there’s always the potential to strike.”
Only a brain dead union dinosaur could come up with that. How does Ded Corney imagine strike action will help when Royal mail are looking to shed 40,000 jobs?  Is it any wonder the town, the country the whole lot of us are up shit creek when we elect people like this wanker to be responsible for anything. Expect these bottom feeders to one day come out on strike against coming out on strike. 1950s mentality never grown up with one solitary idea of negotiation. Carry on like this Ded baby and you will be solitary. You will be a fucking union of one!

WHAT IS THE WORD? ....NO!  It's the one they don't like!

A KEPT WOMAN - Well she kept all the benefits she wasn't entitled to!

Here she is! This is the fragrant Rebecca McGladdery who pleaded guilty at Oldham Magistrates Court to three charges brought by the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP).
She was claiming benefits, including incapacity benefit  (see how easy it is to get that?) and job seeker’s allowance, while working between January, 2008, and April, 2009.
The fraudulent payments totalled £6,413.
Now hear this The 44-year-old, a part-time cleaner  is training to be a teaching assistant.
She appeared on TV and in newspapers before last year’s General Election claiming Liberal Democrat candidate Elwyn Watkins was paying staff £2.80 less than the minimum wage when she worked for the party in 2009.
He was reported to HM Revenue and Customs but an investigation found they were working as volunteers and not employees and the matter was dropped.
McGladdery had gone to work for the Labour Party under the control of Battye and Fitzpatrick two of the less savoury characters in the Oldham political scene when she made the allegations. These two evil pieces of shite were employed by then Oldham MP Phil Woolyarse to run his re-election campaign. The fucker Battye used her to try and smear the Lib-Dem candidate even writing letters to the local press in her name. The actions of these three twats resulted in Woolyarse losing his seat.
At Oldham Magistrates Court yesterday , Michelle Mann, defending, said the claim was not fraudulent from the outset. It had arisen when McGladdery was asked to undertake overtime but failed to declare it. Bollocks! If she was asked to do overtime then she was ALREADY working and claiming incapacity benefit and job seekers allowance.  So Michelle Mann, tell us what is not fraudulent about that?
McGladdery was given a 12 month community order, which includes 60 hours unpaid work and a probation course. She was also ordered to pay £150 costs. A question here. She was being employed by Fitzpatrick and Battye, they should have known her circumstances. How come they are not charged with aiding and abetting the crooked bitch. Where are they now? Well, Battye's ont' fucking council again scraping his snout in the trough. Fitzpatrick? We have no doubt he is keeping a low profile sucking on the public tit, courtesy of his Lie-bour pals in the Council chamber. Thieves always stick together. By the way did you notice the 44-year-old slapper, a part-time cleaner  is training to be a teaching assistant. What!! Would you want this bent thieving fucker involved with your kids? What values would she bring to the job? What lessons in life would she impart to the impressionable minds of YOUR kids? That we should even contemplate such a thing shows the depths to which we have sunk!  What a shitehole town this is!!

SAY FUCKING .... NO!  IT'S THE ONE WORD THEY HATE

OLDHAM TEACHERS ON STRIKE - Exam results improve dramatically!

 The ideological pillocks in the NUT and ALT are prancing about with joy at the news that every school in Oldham is set to be hit by a series of walkouts after furious teachers backed strike action in a row over pensions.
About 1,400 teachers are aiming to strike on June 30, closing all 109 schools in the borough with unions saying further action could follow — though the walkout will be called off if the Government backs down. That's fucking magnanimous of the unfit for purpose tossers. Bet it would be called off quicker if the Government stood firm and said you're all sacked.
Now for the boring statistical bits. Try and stay with us folks.
There are 2,500 teachers in Oldham with 1,100 National Union of Teachers (NUT) members and up to 300 Association of Teachers and Lecturers (ATL) members.
In the ATL’s  ballot, turnout was 35 per cent (105) with 83 per cent of those (87) in favour. 213 were obviously not in favour.
The NUT's turnout was 40 per cent (440) with 92 per cent (405) members  in favour. This leaves 695 agin it or too thick or idle to make the effort.

So, out of 1,400 teachers 492 vote to strike. With the remaining 1,100 non NUTs or ATLs, this means 2,008 teachers in Oldham did not vote for strike action. Over-fucking-whelming, innit?
Secretary of the Oldham NUTs Tony Harrison said: “The NUTs in Oldham tend to be stronger than the national average on strike action. Really? 40% turnout?  Teachers are really angry. They stand to lose in some cases over £100,000 during their lifetime. Show us the figures wanker! It's a pity they are not really angry about the illiterate and innumerate youngsters they are turning out year upon year! It's a pity they don't cease the ideological bilge they stuff into the heads of kids, who are too thick to realise what is happening. 
The workshy fucker then goes on to say, “The attack on us is three-pronged. If the plans go ahead we will have to pay more in contributions, work longer and receive less. It’s a massive issue."  The only three pronged attack we'd like to make on you idle turds is with a pitchfork. You will have to pay more in contributions? Tough titty! Join the outside fucking world! Work longer! Work fucking longer??? We'd make you work until your pupils could read, write add up and converse in the English language and had maybe, some sort of future after schooling other than becoming another turnip on the NEETs pile! You think you will receive less? Most of us think you've been overpaid for years judging by the results we see each year and don't give us any of your 'look how exam results have improved' bullshit. The exams are so fucking easy I bet even some of your teachers could pass them.
He says, “People talk about teachers and other public-sector workers having gold-plated pensions but this is a nonsense as teachers, on average, retire with a pension of less than £10,000-a-year.” Again show us the bastard figures! Hands up all those that know a skint ex-teacher. Hands up all those that know ex-teachers who've taken 'retirement' at 50 to waltz off into another job. Or spend their fucking time annoying the shit out of us as councillors (oooh big pay days there) and other sinecures. Look at that fucking Suttie for one, retired after a 'lifetime' of abusing the minds of our kids,  at about eleven years of age and has since devoted his time to arse licking one of our MPs (I'll leave you to guess which), and pontificating on matters about this town about which he knows and always has known, nowt!
ATL secretary Iain Windeatt said: “We don’t take this sort of action lightly. Members are taking action with a very heavy heart. We want the Government to negotiate with us.”  We want your fucking teachers to teach. We want you to turn out kids with the basic abilities to get a job other than street wandering but it seems to be a forlorn hope when all your heads are stuffed with semi-political garbage.
A third teaching union, the National Association of Head Teachers (NAHT), will decide later this week whether to ballot members on strike action. Didn't you use to think folks that headteachers were appointed because of their superior abilities and flair to improve schools which they led? Forget that folks. They are all tarred with the same brush. Nobody gives a shit about anything only number one.
ATL general secretary Mary Bousted said: “This is a warning shot across the bows of the Government. When even the least militant education union and teachers working in private schools vote to strike, the Government would be wrong to ignore it.”  Why are teachers in private schools striking? Why do the financial and pension arrangements of these people concern the Government?  Or, though we very much doubt it, are they gleefully jumping on the strike bandwagon, in order to get even more days off?
How sad to see these irresponsible workshy wankers more interested in strikes and union action than providing a proper education to the youth of this blighted town to perhaps enable them to escape the quagmire of a jobless future in a washed up town. The two fat twats of the local teaching union Tony Harrison and that eminence grise of the Oldham teaching scene Bryan 'Striker' Beckingham have a lot to answer for. It's about time we told 'em to fuck off, put our house in order and tried to improve the education provided in this town!!!!

JUST TELL THEM ....NO! THEY DON'T FUCKING LIKE IT!