HAPPINESS IS A FULL QUIVER!

   

Another little gem from our friend Captain Ranty

Dear Whitehall.....

I was delighted to read yesterday that you have instructed your minions to find ways to improve the nation's happiness quotient.

I am equally delighted to offer you some suggestions. Please see the list below, which is not exhaustive, but will increase my personal happiness by a factor of 10,000 if all are achieved by say, next Friday.

In no particular order:

• Leave the EU. Tear up ECA 1972.
• Stop giving millions of £££'s to countries that run a space programme.
• Cancel all cheques for foreign aid.
• Buy aircraft for our carriers.
• Retrain the police force so that they do not see every citizen as an uncaught criminal.
• Scrap around 99% of those unnecessary statutes.
• Reduce the size of government to two ministers-one for defence and one for foreign relations
• Slam that immigration door. Round up illegals and deport them.
• Sack hundreds of thousands of NHS mandarins. Employ cleaners instead.
• Remove benefits for those indolents that refuse to work.
• Take better care of our returning, injured service people.
• Root out, and shoot, all paedophiles.
• Reduce income tax to 5%.
• Reduce the price of petrol to 10p per litre.
• Rescind the smoker ban.
• Delete any plans relating to the carbon tax insanity.
• Build more power stations.
• Cap the cost of electricity and natural gas.
• Take better care of our young, our sick, and our elderly.
• Privatise the BBC
• Stop giving taxpayers money to "charities".
• Stop, and I really do mean stop, interfering in our lives.

Got it?

Good.

This is only a start. I will have a new list for you when you have completed this one. My commenters here may have some additional suggestions. Read the comments and make them happy by doing as they instruct you.

Yours sincerely,

Captain Ranty (Retd).            GO PAY HIM A VISIT FOLKS!