FORTY MILES OF BAD ROAD!

To our loyal reader (we know who you are). We thank you for sticking with us through this trying time for the town we love.  The Wulfe team wishes you a very Happy Christmas and a prosperous New Year.


To The wasters in the Tower Of Babble, our wish for them is what they wish upon us .....!!


If you enjoyed the Wulfe this last twelve months then stick with us next year when things could get really bad.


If you didn't enjoy the Wulfe  -  Then why the fuck did you stay?  Go read some really funny shit at Little Jimmy Pudden-Face's blog. It's better than Billy's Weekly Liar!!

Cheers!! B.B.W.

..AND WHAT DID SANTA GIVE YOU FOR CHRISTMAS??

Well, fuck me with the broad end of a rag-mans trumpet!!!!  No sooner do we bemoan the fact that the tossers in the tower have failed to re-open Limecroft Care Home as promised, than they go and do it.


Here we see the usual suspects at the grand opening. All smiles and smugness at their great achievement. But at what cost to us poor buggers has this been achieved?


In June, Oldham Council agreed to restore the 20-bed residential care home to full use and have undertaken refurbishment work costing £624,000 including new carpets and furnishings. That's 624 grand for wallpaper, paint, curtains, carpet and furniture. Not for non-essentials like en-suite facilities for the TWENTY residents!

After this quick tarting up what have the knobheads decided? Against all their 'professed'  Lie-bour dogma they have given the fuckin' place away to an outfit called 'Meridian Healthcare!!' Privatisation of health services? Well local MP Debbie Abrahams won't stand for that will she? It's against everything she 'believes' in. Isn't it?  Oh hang on a mo' Who's that in the middle of the group grinning like a Cheshire cat?  Two faced twats aren't they?

Have you ever seen such a picture as this, full of wasted time, money and space, from the absentee pillock at the left to the FA Cup on the right. Not a days work between 'em!

Now, having spent £624,000 of our money which we haven't got, they are now drawing up Plans for a £2 million scheme to create en-suite facilities and extend the capacity to 40 beds. 400 jobs to go says council. Let's spend, spend, spend says council. Anyone seen ONE money saving measure since the turds took over?  Do you want to bet on 400 jobs going?  Lie-bour slash jobs? Slash their vote share?  If you believe that watch Santa's reindeer don't crap on your head tonight.


Councillor Phil Hardlysane, limp member for adult social services and Health, said: “When the new administration took control in May we pledged to residents that we would reopen Limecroft and we have made good on that promise. What we didn't tell them was we didn't have a clue as to how to run it so we had to give it away. 

More money down the drain. Paying other people for doing the jobs we used to do with ease. Money is leaving the borough at a faster and faster rate because these incompetents are unable to cover even the basic services. It is too easy to spend other people's money!  The rot is spreading downwards from the top as the idle bastards find less and less to do as they lavish money on third parties to do their jobs. 


Why not get rid of all council workers?  Pay 'Fleessum, Grabbitt and Scarper' to 'run' all our essential services while the gobshites sit around being 'co-operative' and digging deeper and deeper into the trough!!!

Ain't it a weird feeling having the town run by bunches of chancers from all around the country? Every day, less and less of the town is ours!

LET'S RECLAIM THE TOWN!!

THE GMP XMAS PUB CRAWL!!!

A CHADDERTON pub, The Sportsman in Denton Lane, has been shut down temporarily after police found class A and B drugs when the pub was raided at 7.20pm on Sunday.

Insp Paul Walker told Oldham Council's licensing panel how he was met by more than 40 “anti-police” people  in the pub and that two small children were playing next to a table with cocaine under it. A man was found snorting cocaine in the toilets.

David Kent, solicitor for Greater Manchester Police, asking for the pub’s licence to be suspended, said officers found bags of cannabis with a street value of £500 in living accommodation above the bar, as well as £3,000 in cash.

He added: “We believe there has been serious crime committed by way of possession of class B drugs with intent to supply. Class A drugs were found in the bar with children playing close by _ this is a community pub.”

Finbar Tuite, the premises’ licence holder, denied there had been any physical threats to police and said if people were aggressive it was probably because they felt their night out had been disrupted.
 
Members of the licensing panel meeting yesterday afternoon decided to temporarily suspend the pub’s licence.

Chairman, Councillor John Battye  said the panel was satisfied the pub was involved with illicit drugs and suspended the licence until January 17, when a full review will be heard.

Supt Gary Simpson said : “This pub is associated with organised crime and following our intelligence-led operation two of those arrested have been given fixed-penalty notices and two have been cautioned for possession of class A or B drugs.”

No further action has been taken against four people for possession of class A drugs. 

A 38-year old man was arrested for possession with intent to supply cannabis, and has been bailed until February pending police inquiries.


A couple of things stand out: The GMP solicitor says The Sportsman is a "community pub." 
Supt Simpson of GMP says The pub is associated with organised crime.
So which is it?  Can GMP agree on anything? Is it a community of organised criminals? A community of anti-police people? Children were playing close by: what were they playing, Strip Happy Families?


In as few words as possible explain why you think people were "anti-police" at 7:20 pm on a Sunday night, when, as they enjoyed a convivial evening, God knows how many of our finest stormed this den of iniquity?

Explain your understanding of the term - "intelligence led operation."  Was Insp Walker the officer guarding the GMP brain-cell that evening , if so does he consider the result a "result"? 

 Out of 40 plus people in the pub at the time of 'The Raid" We have two receiving fixed penalty fines - and two cautioned. No action has been taken against four others, but one unlucky bastard has been bailed, pending further enquiries.


Two fixed penalty notices out of all that brouhaha and they wonder why they stumbled upon a pub full of "anti-police" people!

But....Finally - Take a look again at that Licensing Committee!  Look who we have as chairman sitting in judgement on others. 'BATTYE THE BENT'  The biggest piece of slime to have crawled out of the sewer that is Oldham Council!  The lying, duplicitous, conniving piece of shit responsible, via his failed dirty tricks campaign,  for the ousting of  Fill Woolyass from his position as MP for OE & Saddleworth. 


What is the matter with the Lie-bour party in this town?  Have they forgotten this shameful incident already or were they complicit with the act?  Why after his despicable tricks was this charlatan allowed to stand again as a local councillor?  Could the local Lie-bour party not find someone with at least a pretence at principles to put forward?  Probably not! The whole fucking lot are bereft of morals and bent as corkscrews. This demonstrates how low Lie-bour have sunk in their desperation  to cling onto any vestige of power. No wonder this town has become a laughing stock!  Little Jimmy Pudden-Face and his co-operative council! Aye, they're all co-operating. With each other to fill their pockets and bollocks to us poor fuckers!

Bah  Fucking Humbug!!

HIGH STREET EXTRAVAGANZA!

Just how bad are things in our town centre??  

This is but one of a series of 'Spotlights' on various parts of what remains of the town centre. This series has been running in the local paper, The Oldham Evening Chronicle for several days. 

This piece features the High Street once the main shopping artery through the town. As a measure of how far we have sunk this Christmas advertising campaign managed to feature just Five shops. These being: Meeks - Shoe Shop,  Simpsons - Jewellers,  and NW Bullion, who are after buying your old gold. These shops are on High Street. The other two stores : Frillys - lacy lady things and Specsavers - opticians are on Lord Street and Curzon Street respectively. That is the sum total of Christmas advertising from High Street Oldham. Two of the outlets are not what you would call Christmassy stores so that leaves just three stores vying for your custom this Festive Season.

Was it worth turning on the spotlight?  Is anyone in the 'corridors of power looking at these things and wondering is it my fault?  How many stores will be left to entice us by the time the unwanted Metrostench arrives and the town centre is regenerated?  This feature is a truly awful indictment of the way our shopping centre has been neglected and allowed to slip away.  If anyone reading this truly believes that the town centre will be regenerated by the arrival of trams at the bottom of the St Peter's cliff face you are severely deluded. It will be a ghost train not a tram service.


The situation will probably get much worse after the Christmas rush (Ha!). Several store chains are in serious financial trouble so expect closures to accelerate in the new year.

We might have had four stores on High Street advertising in this feature but Barratt/Priceless shoe stores went into administration last week so expect more lavish displays of brown paper.


One can only sympathise with the remaining traders battling to survive in the town. There is no help or relief from the twats in the Ivory Tower. Everything possible has been done to deter folk from visiting the town centre. The way the fucking clowns are performing, every bastard road in the town will be closed by Christmas.

This cannot go on much longer!!    We have to put a stop to the rot!!

Beware you greedy, self serving,clueless bastards.   We are coming!! 

PS.  OEC we think Environs would have been a better word

.....AND BY GOLLY IT DOES YOU GOOD!!

Oldham Beer Festival moves back to Queen Elizabeth Hall
Thanks to a one-year grant of £4,600 from Jim McMahon, Oldham council leader

400 jobs to go at Oldham Council as £24m cuts are agreed
OMBC council leader, Jim McMahon, agrees axing of up to 400 jobs in bid to save £24m

The annual event was axed from the town centre venue two years ago when the Lib-Dem-run Oldham Council asked for maximum rent for the hall hire, which would have left no money in the kitty to hand out to local charities.


Little Jimmy Pudden-Face has now secured its return to its favoured former venue for 2012 with a subsidy of £4,600.


The one-year agreement of £4,600 will cover the rental cost of the Queen Elizabeth Hall.  The rent for the QE Hall will return to the council.  So why do we have to have this rigmarole?  Why not just let the festival organisers use the place for free cos that's all they are doing now.  Couldn't be just a publicity stunt for the dough-faced wunderkind, surely?  It will distract your mind from the dire straits the town is in though.

 Council leader,  Jim McMahon, said: “I was approached by the beer festival organisers and have agreed to support this event for 2012 with a donation  from the Leadership Priority Investment Fund."

Let's get this straight! When the Pudden says HE has decided to support the event what he forgets to add is "with your money."   If this is the leaders priority it reveals the shallow depths of thinking from a so called leader.  The two article headlines above, appeared adjacent to each other in the local paper.  Did it make you feel good, the chosen 400?  Did you all feel a glow of goodwill toward your caring council?

The vapid prick said. “I decided to support the event because I believe the beer festival is an important part of the cultural offer in our borough."  That's the problem with this town a 'public piss-up' is classed as a cultural offering 


From Cloud Cuckoo Land  the whey faced one bleats, “Hosting it at the QE hall brings in hundreds of visitors to our town centre – often from many miles around, which  helps to boost our town-centre trade."
What fucking trade?  Have you not noticed, Jimmy baby, the town centre has gone to hell in a handcart while you and your band of ne'er-do-wells, preen and posture like the clueless fucking idiots you are?
Do you ever think that people coming from 'many miles around' are probably coming from towns that still cling to the old fashioned ways and have town centres full of stores that are actually open and not just window displays of brown paper?  

You say that 'beer drinking is not your bag' ???  Maybe you should try it sometime and get out on the piss!  You take it out of us often enough!!!!  It might clear your eyes to the shite all around!

CHEERS!!!

THIS WEEKS RECIPE: SLOW COOKED BOOKS!

Former chef takes charge of academy

It could only happen in  to Oldham

A former chef turned fast-track school leader has been appointed to the top job at Oasis Academy Oldham. Fucking great! The third leader for the scam that is Oasis Academy and it's not even up and running properly yet!
David Hayes will replace interim principal Sir Iain Hall who stepped in after the sudden departure, at a fast run, of his predecessor who was in the job long enough for everyone to forget his name.  

 Mr Hayes​ qualified as a chef after leaving school before going into teaching. His first post was as a PE teacher at Brookfield High School, Kirkby, and he then spent a year working at the Japanese International School in Hong Kong. He returned to Brookfield before becoming a national manager with the Youth Sport Trust for three years. He worked at Kirkby Sports College before joining Oasis Academy MediaCityUK. He was part of the National College Future Leaders programme to fast-track talented head teachers. How do you know if someone is a talented headteacher if they have never been a headteacher? Have you noticed lately that almost everyone appointed to some sinecure or other in the town has had a plethora of previous jobs?  For instance look up Charlie's CV! Flitting about from one non-job to another. Don't stay long enough to get sussed!

He said: “I am delighted to have been appointed." I bet he fucking is! I guess the Wulfe didn't make the shortlist.
"There are wonderful people here, both in the academy and in our wider community." How the fuck has he come to this decision so rapidly? he hasn't got his feet under a desk yet!   
"It’s a place where I can come in and hit the ground running." Yep! You're right there. Far as we know your predecessor is still running, but then again we heard HE was a quick learner.

"There are great things in store for Oasis Academy Oldham.” Must be the only store with any sort of things, left in Oldham then!

Oasis Academy Oldham replaced South Chadderton and Kaskenmoor Schools in September, 2010. It will move into a new multi-million building for 1,500 pupils in Hollinwood next year. Where the local road infrastructure and parking facilities will make the area an 'Oasis' of calm.

How long before he's off, chasing er, you know, thingummy? 

What next? Pork Butcher from Jerusalem appointed Borough Solicitor?? ......Hmmm!
 

WHAT TIME'S NEXT TRAM - 2030 - HALF PAST EIGHT EH? NO 2030!

Here we go again!

The fucking Metrostink opening has been postponed yet again. The brainfarts at TfGM having spent millions over the past several years on the new wonder of the world -The Tram Management System, have discovered an interesting fact about it. It doesn't fucking work! So we are doomed to another twelve months in the fucking wilderness while the tossers fuck about with their toys. The way the town centre is collapsing it won't matter very shortly anyway. There will be sod all we need a tram for (not that we wanted it in the first place).

 According to Ann Arsewipe (spokesperson for TfGM)   "The new Tram Management System (TMS), can electronically map tram positions and automatically control points and signals." But not while the trams are fucking running unfortunately.


During trials at Media City last September the system caused severe disruption and as the non-planners at TfGM have chucked all their eggs in one basket, we are fucked and the line to Oldham Mumps, which was due to open in March, 2012, will open even later than planned next year (if at all), according to a report considered by Transport for Greater Manchester.


An update report will be considered by TfGM in January. Yeah, take your time lads! We're trapped in the land that time forgot with the town disappearing around us while you set of bell-ends piss about with your Sinclair Spectrums. If after all this fucking about, the golden lifeline isn't going to be running before the back end of next year, what's the point of taking it to Mumps? The Union Street Total Waste Of Time Scheme (USTWOTS)  will be  should be  may be  is due to be completed about then. Can you see what's gonna happen folks?   The first three trams will run to Mumps then everything will stop once more while they dig the twatting thing up and transfer everything to Union St.


"Ultimately, all the lines will be controlled by the new system, which will allow more trams to run on the network, as well as giving drivers and controllers the ability to manage vehicle schedules." The fucking system can't control one line never mind all of them. This is another major IT fuck up! It will cost us untold millions while three nerds, whose only experience of running a light rail system was gleaned from the Thomas The Tank engine sets they had as kids, piss about, before eventually admitting defeat and we are reduced to running all trams with a flagman walking in front with a red flag.

A spokesprick said. "A two or three month delay may arise on the already-delayed Rochdale extension."  Ha ,Ha, Ha . Do you want to take bets on two months (50/1), three months (33/1) or a lot longer (1/2)?


Philip Purdy, TfGM’s Metrolink director, said: “The new operating system is a fundamental part of the expansion: ultimately, we simply cannot have one without the other."  That's it then. We're fucked! Why does the system have to control the whole network?  Trams on the Oldham/Rochdale spur will not be going to Altrincham or Eccles or Bury. We didn't need all this shit when we had a perfectly good rail system. They managed to run without all these fancy PMT systems and computerised garbage. Signalmen switched points and changed signals, it worked for a fucking long time. Why not do a spot of job creation and reduce the chances of the nine-fifteen from Mumps terminating four months later in fucking Wythenshawe? Who the fuck, apart from all the anally challenged job preservers at TfGM wants to know that the next tram will be along in two and a half minutes (or not)?


“The first stage of introducing the new system is to integrate the new with the old in a way that has the least impact on existing services."  If WE had some sort of service of any kind, then maybe WE could cease impacting our heads against the brick wall in a failing attempt to take away the pain.


“We share the frustrations of people waiting patiently to use the services, especially as construction of the new lines is going well." No you don't share our frustrations! You fuck and fart about in your plush offices day in day out, then piss off 'ome to your Cheshire Set,  while WE sit for fucking hours in interminable roadworks and traffic jams, of your making, as we struggle to make our way around a town with no cohesive transport policy


Let's look at - "Construction of the new lines is going so well.......?????"  
To RE-LAY 12 miles in two years? Average 6 mls per yr. - Between 1863 & 1869 Union Pacific & Central Pacific Railroads LAID 1756 miles of track between Sacramento & Council Bluffs, Iowa. Avge 293 miles per yr. In 2 yrs 586miles. At Metrolink speeds it would have taken the RR's 293 yrs to complete the line. It wouldn't have been finished until the yr 2156, by then no-one would want it. A nice symmetry eh? Why don't we re-name Mumps, Council Bluffs?

“This is about the safe operation of a network that will be three times the size it is now, so we cannot cut any corners.”  Speed we're going we won't reach the corner 'til Oldham Wakes. The only thing we reckon worth cutting is just south of thi gob!

 

You couldn't make this shit up!!!!

STABLE-DOOR- HORSE-BOLTED....YOU KNOW THE SCENARIO!!

COUNCIL officers are preparing tight restrictions on new town centre takeaways, Oldham Town Centre Partnership reports.What and who is this mysterious 'partnership' apart from being another allowance gathering exercise??


A document, which could come into action next year, will outline strict criteria for consent. COULD????    NEXT YEAR????  Don't hold your fucking breath then folks. It is another Jimmy Pudden-Face,  'Blairwash'  - Talk about it for a month or so, do nowt and by next year the idiot masses will have forgotten about it.

Coun Jackie Starturn, the Mystic Meg of the Derker Wastelands, (clothes-pegs and lucky heather a speciality), a partnership board member, (or should that be 'bored' as in should be reamed out),  hopes it will curb the number of takeaways in the town centre. She said: “Takeaways cheapen our town centre."  How the fuck can you devalue something that has a value at present of about one and ninepence, (ask yer grandad!). Parts  Most of the town centre looks closed during the day, with their shutters down.”  Not to mention the brown-paper window displays of those businesses that have legged it. It doesn't just 'look' closed down, it is closed down, most of it permanently.

 Partnership members recommended refusal of a planned hot-food takeaway in Union Street, opposite Sainsbury’s. This would put it next to the imminent Oldham Central Metrosink stop.  OOOoooh! we wouldn't want visitors to our fair borough to see anything as uncouth as a takeaway would we? What a fucking shock awaits them when they climb the Col St. Pierre to what used to be the town centre.


Another board member, Coun Dave(Here he fucking is again) Hibbert, said: “What we don’t need any more of in the town centre is takeaways. People coming off the tram will not want to see a takeaway.” Who are these 'people' coming off the tram? Whence have they come? Where the fuck are they going and why? 

By the way Diddy Dave what we don't really need any more of in this town is useless scrotes like yourself who couldn't run a fucking bath!


The partnership said the proposal, recommended for refusal by the board, did nothing to develop the variety and quality of the town centre.  Just run that by us again will you Diddy and the Gang! Develop the variety and quality of the town????? What cocksucking variety? It's a town of pound-stores and cheap clothes stores and as for quality - sex shops would turn their noses up at opening among the dross that passes as the 'town centre shopping experience.'


It's much too late for remedial measures. The town centre tipped past the point of no return a long while ago.
Metrosink or no Metrosink there are no incentives for people to shop here and there are certainly no incentives for new retail outlets to open up here. Anyone can see that a one way drain has been opened and the lifeblood of this town is leaking away faster and faster. Anyone, that is, apart from the amoebas on Little Jimmy Pudden-face's gravy train of a 'partnership.'

It's too fucking late you tossers!!! In search of every fucking pound you could glean from all the shite outlets opening in the town centre, you greedy bastards have sold us all down the river. It's not often you can make pig-shit out of a silk purse but you worthless wankers have managed to pull it off! We hope you are proud of your achievements! I can tell you WE hate the fucking sight and sound of you! You are a fucking disgrace to this town! Beware! We are coming!

TAKIN' CARE OF BIZNESS!!

REMEMBER THIS??

Oldham Lie-bour Chronicle  7 June 2011

Note the subtil placement of Diddy  Dave 'Fibber' Hibbert to make the most of his towering presence.

OR THIS??

Oldham Lie-bour Chronicle  21 July 2011

Four bids to run Limecroft home

DISCUSSIONS are under way with four local authority arms-length trusts over the future of Limecroft Care Home in Limeside.

The home had closed under the previous administration on March 31 due to council cuts but the new Cabinet voted last month to reopen it within six months.

Cabinet member for adult services and health, Councillor Philip Harrison, said Tameside, Stockport, Manchester and Wigan had been asked to submit a bid with their proposals for a specialist residential respite service.

A three-year contract will be awarded late September and the home reopened December 1.


So! Are the residents now safely ensconced in Limecroft? Did we have the grand re-opening on Dec 1st?  Did we miss it?  Has that smear of protozoan ooze pictured above been quarantined inside to prevent the rest of us becoming affected by the brain eating virus of which they are carriers?


NAH!!!  It's just the usual Lie-bour 'Blairfest'  Promise, promise, promise, until people actually believe you have delivered, then quietly drop it.


New Lie-bour promise clock up and running in sidebar. I can see we'll have dozens of these before this lot are rumbled.

ALL ROADS LEAD TO........

  Listen you numbfucks!  Can you not understand simple directions??


We have told you several times that sections of Union Street could be open over Christmas then again we could be completely wrong and you will find long stretches closed or one way heading toward you.
.
Some of it will be open in both directions, but probably not at the same time.  Parts of it will open both ways for some of the time and some of it will close part of the time. None of it will open one way unless it is in the other direction. We will erect  display  post  probably not bother with Signs. There's nowhere to go anyway. The town centre will be closed forthwith.  The town centre shop will remain open for business but you must phone in your order and one of their intrepid explorers will deliver via mountain-bike.


As you have been told on umpteen fucking occasions Metrostink 'workers' will put down the tool, (it's a long handled, "Terraslicer" left handed shovel actually), on Dec 22 and will sod off for two or three weeks of R&R in warmer climes, where they will piss their productivity bonuses up the wall. Oh, by the way, did we mention the whole job has been put back for months once again?


Anyhow read the fucking notices! Part of the road is closed in one direction (not sure which), while we shaft you left right and centre into thinking that something important is going on.


Paragraph - The fourth. A tosspot, Don Wagstaff, who calls himself  "A Planning Officer" tells us the work may be finished by Christmas, but then again...... He says workers don't know what is under the surface until they get down there, who knows what they may find?  Apart from thousands of tons of congealed chicken fat, blocking the sewers, that is.   OK enough! Who called 'The planning Officer' a cunt?  Better yet who called the cunt a 'Planning Officer'?  He couldn't plan a wank if he'd only one arm. We're not likely to find out what horrors lurk beneath that calm and placid thoroughfare any time soon. It will probably be around the time of the Spring equinox when the hungover bastards arrive back skint, looking for the tool they downed aeons before.


Finally, up he pops once again - Diddy Dave 'Fibber' Hibbert, washing his hands of the whole affair as usual. "It's not our fault," he bleats. " Some operations are outside of our control."  You have no control you bleeding arsewipe! You and the rest of the band of thieves and rogues in The Ivory Tower lost control of happenings in this town years ago. That's why the town is the shit heap it has now become! If there was any justice we should bury you and your brother deadbeats under the fucking tramline then we could stomp on your fucking heads every time we crossed Union Street to go into Poundtown.


The lying little weaselly shite says, " As a council we are committed to minimising disruption." As a council, WE think you should all be committed, straitjackets, rubber rooms, the full monty.


The little gobshite, who is rapidly becoming the Jeremy Sutcliffe of the modern era, simpers "We apologise for any inconvenience caused." You little turd!!! Fuck off with the crocodile tears. You and the bent brotherhood have been inconveniencing us for years. And you still don't give a fuck!!! 
One day we are going to make you and your fellow troughers  listen to us. Be prepared! We are coming!

...IT'S THE POOR WOT GETS THE BLAME!!

The following appeared in  Fausty's Libertarian Blog  the other day. He'd borrowed it from elsewhere, so we've 'borrowed' it from him and made a couple of changes. The theme of the original was 'How Government works.'  We've changed the names to expose the guilty!!

How The Council works

 Once upon a time the council had a huge empty building in the middle of nowhere. Cabinet said, "Someone may break in at night,  looking for something to steal." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.


Then Cabinet said, "How does the night watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.


Then Cabinet asked, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.


Then Cabinet said, "How are these people going to get paid and administered?" So they created the following positions, two time keepers and three payroll officers, and then hired four human resources consultants and five health and safety executives.


Then Cabinet said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative section and hired fifty people including administrative officers, assistant administrative officers, legal secretaries and a chief executive on £213,000 per annum.


Then Cabinet said, "We have been in power for nearly a year and we are £40,000,000 over budget, we must cutback the overall cost."

So they laid off the night watchman!

Does this sound like anyone we know? Do you think this little tale could apply to a real local authority? If so, which one? Answers on a postcard to: Little Jimmy Pudden-Face, Parker's Folly, West St. Oldham.

THE FAMLY ARE GATHERED AROUND THE BEDSIDE......

Support services group Mouchel in debt turmoil

Mouchel, Oh hell!
Sont des mots qui vont tres bien ensemble
Tres bien ensemble

 The beleaguered support services group Mouchel is battling for survival this weekend as is it attempts to reach a debt deal with its lenders.
 
Sir Michael Lyons, the former BBC Trust chairman, is still in talks with banks about refinancing the company’s £170m of bank facilities and is attempting to reach an agreement before the company announces delayed annual results on Tuesday.
 
The banks, Royal Bank of Scotland?, Lloyds and Barclays, are “fully supportive” of Mouchel according to the company, despite the fact it is expected to breach covenants just months after a £170m refinancing in January which Mouchel hailed as a “turning point”  This is business speak for, 'The banks are about to throw us under the bus.'

In the past few weeks Mouchel has raised cash by selling its pipeline design business for £2.6m to private company Mott MacDonald and its rail business for £3.4m to Sinclair Knight Merz. The company has said its executive team  “remain focused on the steps necessary to secure the future of the company."   How many more pieces of the 'family silver' do they have left to sell before there is nothing left? The company is haemorrhaging money and is not picking up new council contracts due to the economic climate.

Mouchel has been badly affected by public spending cuts because two–thirds of its clients are local government authorities, which are seeing budgets squeezed as a result of central government’s continued focus on austerity measures. That's er....Us folks. Still they sit and lade and teem our money when they can't even run their own shambles of an operation. How much over the top are they costing us? What will happen if they go tits up? Who then will run the town?

Analysts are forecasting a 14pc drop in revenues for the year to July 31 with pre-exceptional pre-tax profits crashing by two thirds.


Source Daily Telegraph  Sat 26 Nov 2011

 Still, we'll be alright once the trams start running!!

WE DIG DIG DIG DIG DIG UP EVERYTHING IN SIGHT!

IMPORTANT  INFORMATION FOR ROAD USERS IN OLDHAM

LATEST UPDATE: If venturing into the City of Lost Souls. Take at least two changes of clothing, food and drink to last a minimum of three days and a porta-pottee. Also useful would be a copy of Bear Grylls new book on surviving in Oldham's treacherous hinterland, entitled: 'Fuck Me! I'm bleeding lost!' price £12.99 from Waterstuns but getting there to buy it may be a problem. 

Here is the latest update on the road closures, diversions and other related fucking nonsense, being foisted upon the long suffering citizens of this borough by the fuckwits in the tower. This is part of the ongoing plan, to isolate the town from the rest of the world, known as the Streamlined Hi-speed Integrated Transport Experiment or as locals call it S.H.I.T.E. (Oldham)

This weekend the roundabout at Mumps  Bridge  Overpass  level crossing  Crossroads  Death Trap  Thingy  has been removed. It has been sold to Milton Keynes who have a huge collection of the things. The removal of this redundant street obstruction will enable the New Super Trams to have a straight run across the six lanes of traffic that were once controlled by this gyratory governor. Viewing platforms will be erected so locals can sit and watch the carnage unfold as motorists play  ‘Beat The Tram.’

Coun Dave Hibbert, cabinet member for traipsing and degeneration, said: “These are significant changes to Mumps which show that work to bring Metrolink to our borough is firmly on-track. On-track! get it? I wish Hibbert was fucking tied to it!

 “Mumps is the major traffic junction in and around Oldham town centre and although signs will  guide traffic to all sorts of fascinating places, I’d also urge motorists to please try and familiarise yourself with these changes and the best routes to Bury, Bolton, Ashton etc., before we start with the job. We know one or two of you are against the plans. What the fuck do I care about that? I'm arrogant Dave and I know better than any of you fucking serfs."

“All of this will enable the start of work to create a fantastic new integrated transport facility around the former B&Q site that will eventually benefit those using cars, buses and trams alike." Why do we now have to have an 'Integrated Transport Facility'? We had to manage without one when we had the trains. The trams are supposed to be cruising Union St eventually. Why would anyone, wanting to go to what is left of the town centre, want to go to Mumps and catch a bus back? This ITF is nowt more than another fucking bus-station. Move the seven we have on Cheapside down to Mumps. We could then use the land to erect something useful.(maybe a gibbet to reduce the number of chair polishers in the council chamber). The whole of the area around Mumps/ B&Q should have been developed as a leisure park. THAT would maybe bring people INTO Oldham. But no! The cocksuckers in the Ivory Tower can see no further than car-parks, their only growth industry. Trouble with this town is, we don't make enough noise. Be warned. Once the cockwaffles have had their way it will be too late to start complaining.

Coun Fibber continued, “The end of the Mumps roundabout, and the opening of the new link road into the town centre from Oldham Way, are a major part of our plans to remodel this area and redefine it as a new gateway into out of Oldham.”  Remodel the fucking area!!!  Much like you and your barmpot troughing cronies have 'remodeled the town centre I shouldn't wonder. Though you probably can't make it much worse than the derelict slum it is now.

"Unfortunately, for you that is, the changes will mean cars will no longer be able to access the bottom of Yorkshire Street adjacent to Mumps, which will now form part of the construction area."  But local traffic will still be able to access Beever Street, Regent Street and Wallshaw Street from Yorkshire Street by following the diversion signs for Blackburn and Darwen giving drivers a clear run at the area from t'other side of town. This will add approx 90 mins to a trip from say Clarksfield to Regent Street


"Passengers using town-centre bound buses currently stopping at Mumps will now have to find another stop somewhere else. That's not our problem. We have enough to do booking flash hotels for our next jolly and making sure our allowances claim forms are submitted on time."  "Services travelling out of town will not be affected."  Funny how everything leaving the village of the damned is running fine. It's just getting into and across this benighted and blighted borough that is the problem

"Bus lanes along Huddersfield Road and Ripponden Road have also been temporarily opened up to all vehicles to ease congestion in the area."  What's the betting the cock-sucking bus-drivers want to use them now!

Diddy Dave added: “We recognise the sheer scale of these ongoing works has meant frustrating times for motorists in recent months." “We appreciate your patience and have listened to concerns about signage, which we are reviewing and improving daily in response to what drivers and local businesses are telling us.

 “We’re also doing whatever we can, wherever possible, to ease congestion – especially in the run-up to the vital Christmas and new year trading period." "We'll try and ease the pain, but you're not going anywhere fast so why not enjoy yourselves and bring a little festive cheer into the town. Our Chief Executive has bought a box of Christmas ornaments (well, when we say bought he actually only signed for them on the council account at Parties-R-Us) He is going to put them up on a prominent building in the town. The location is supposed to be a secret but if you want to see Charlie's balls being hung on the old Town Hall be there Saturday mid-day.

Trams are expected to arrive at the new temporary Oldham Mumps stop by spring. People in Eccles and Altrincham expect them to arrive there EVERY day but it quite frequently doesn't come to pass.

Enough, already. Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty.

UNION STREET

From Monday - Union Street will be one way in the opposite direction - until further notice.
On alternate Mondays and even-dated  Wednesdays this flow will be reversed, apart that is from those occasions when two-way traffic will be permitted westbound between Greaves Street and Clegg Street and eastbound between Queen Street and Retiro Street.
Queen Street and Retiro Street will become pedestrian only zones. Greaves Street and Clegg Street will be closed to traffic for ever such a long time.
From Tuesday Union Street will be closed at one end.
Work will commence almost nearly at once on building a huge tram stop at the Star Inn end of Union Street to service ‘Chicken City’- Oldham’s gourmet dining area where you can sample all the delights of Kentucky/Alabama/Tennessee/Nepal/Kashmir/ Bulgaria/ Tristan Da Cunha/ Antarctica/Latvia/Gaza Strip/ Ethiopia/Galapagos/Tasmania/Wales, Fried Chicken. For you aficionados the remaining three non-food outlets on Union Street are being converted so you will shortly be able to sample the delights of - Papua-New Guinea/North Korea and Turkey Fried Chicken. A real treat for the discerning palate. Though I must say I have tried most of them and mainly they taste just like chicken. Hey, Ho!

THROUGH TRAFFIC

FROM SADDLEWORTH TO MANCHESTER- Allow extra journey time - set off the night before. If it is essential you get to Manchester every morning - sell your house - move to Newton Heath. In the meantime follow signs marked ‘Diversion.’ When these peter out follow ‘Alternate Route’ signs until you pick up the M65 near Nelson. Park in Nelson - There is an excellent bus service (X43) to Manchester.

TO AND FROM SHAW AND CROMPTON - Access will be severely disrupted due to ongoing work on the Ghost Train and the demolition of Shaw which will be starting any day now. From Ashton - Probably best not to bother. From Saddleworth head for Jct 22 on the M62 head down to the Shaw exit and attack it from t’other side. Leaving Shaw - Make sure you turn the light out and lock the door.


FROM MANCHESTER - Motorists heading up Oldham Road will be stopped at Hollinwood, given a stern warning about their foolhardy behaviour then turned around and sent back to civilisation.


YORKSHIRE STREET - ‘Ghost Town ‘ Tour buses will leave at irregular intervals (Five or six days) from the pay and display car park on the old Conservative Club/Mountainfeet site, taking tourists on sightseeing tours of our excavations, historic buildings and other piles of rubble that are our heritage. Heading up Yorkshire Street they will meet little oncoming traffic as the street has been converted into a skateboard ramp from the Greaves Arms to the Artizans Rest (or whatever poncy fucking name it goes under nowadays). This is world’s end (Has anyone noticed that Yorkshire Street between Fairbottom Street and Scholes Street is ‘misssing ‘ on Google Streetwatch?  Too much for them to stomach I wager.)


WATERLOO STREET - Affectionately known to locals as The Khyber pass this will become the main thoroughfare out of town to Rochdale, Huddersfield and Lees. Beware of two or more vehicles parked in the middle of the road while the drivers chat about the vicissitudes of their working day. Only luxury vehicles (over £60,000) with adequately blacked out windows and 500 million giga-watt sound systems will be allowed through. This strip is, like, private, innit.  No wot  a meen?


FROM MUMPS TO ROYAL OLDHAM HOSPITAL - Easiest way - walk up to Rhodes Bank - throw yourself under “Ghost Town’ tour bus - await arrival of  ambulance  - travel to Hospital in recumbent luxury.  If you must drive, take Yorkshire Street to Curzon Street - go through market Hall - turn left you’re on Henshaw Street - up to Coldhurst Street - zoom! You’re there.


LEES ROAD traffic will be diverted down Cross Street - Up Greenacres Road  - Stamford Road - High Street - Lees Road. This is the ‘groundhog’ route. Not much use for you wankers coming down from Saddleworth, but at least it keeps you out of the town centre and you won’t have time for whingeing.

BUS STATIONS  - The present seven bus stations will be dismantled and together with a further four will be re-erected at Failsworth Pole. Little Jimmy Pudden Face, first citizen and saviour of our town says this is the only sensible solution as the folk of Failsworth have been waiting a long time for modern services. The buses will service the new Town Hall and the shortly to be built, Olympic Swimming Pool,   Sports Hall,  Assembly Hall,  Twenty Screen Cinema,  Bowling Alley,  Ice Skating Rink,  Shopping Mall,   (PF World 1M sq ft ),  Forty storey Hilton Hotel,  Museum and Art Gallery,  Marina (useful for the Royal  Leader’s yacht),  Two Casinos,  Three Nightclubs,  Mainline Rail Station,  Wrigley Head Disneyland,  600 bed Teaching hospital and last but not least - a vehicle dismantling, chemical reclamation and tyre disposal plant at the Lancaster site. Whooops!  I nearly forgot - and Lady Jane's.
Little Jimmy said; “ It’s not because I happen to be a Cunt Councillor for Failsworth, hold all the purse strings and make all the decisions. It just happened that it was Failsworth’s turn for a share of the spoils  amenities. We are not neglecting any other single part of Oldham. You’re ALL getting Fucking Nowt!!

DO YOU THINK THE LITTLE PIGGIES CAN HEAR THE SLAUGHTERMAN SHARPENING HIS KNIFE?

Following on from last Wednesday's post on the activities of the Euro-scumbags we present a recording of Nigel Farage's speech to the EU assembly the same day. At last we have someone with the balls to tell it like it is to the tossers. Just watch their faces. As corporal Jones would say, "they don't like it up 'em."  As you may know Farage is the leader of the UK Independence Party UKIP. Why the fuck can't our leaders from the main parties see what is happening beneath their noses and act accordingly. We say, "well said sir." 
 Many thanks to Guido Fawkes for drawing this to our attention.

WHERE'S ME CAP - AM LATE FOR SKOO!

ARROGANT! That's what  our bleeding lover  beloved leader, Little Jimmy Pudden-Face, called Oldham councillors who have failed to take 'Basic Councillor Training,' and also those who HAVE undertaken the training and failed.
This is a new scheme whereby councillors are trained in the esoteric arts of the council, and learn how  better to pull the wool over elector's eyes, maximise their thieving earnings and pass the buck while maintaining an aura of industry and intellect. (Oh God! spare us from this ribaldry!!!)
  
Jimmy said: "We I have introduced a leaders programme aimed at providing the basic level of training to enable members to do more." As the majority of the chair polishers do nowt anyway, any thought of actually getting up off their arses and doing summat, must read like their worst nightmares.

 He continued, "There are some members of the council who believe they are so experienced - arrogant that they don't need training and think they should be doing the training themselves."
"This attitude will cease forthwith. I am the sole dispenser of wisdom and learning." "The reality is that they are not as good as they think they are." "A lot are past it: Some never reached it: I intend to bring them up to the mark using knowledge gained during all my years of experience."

He said, "The re-opening of Failsworth Town Hall showed what can be achieved." 
It can be achieved if it 'just' happens to be in your ward, you have hold of the purse strings and you are the only person making policy decisions. Quite what the re-opening has to do with councillors going back to skoo beats us.

Little Jimmy told councillors; "The onus is on everybody in this chamber, you will get support, training and development. We will support your claims for extra allowances: we will train you to vote as told and we will develop your uselessness to a high degree, but, if you don't play the game you will leave empty-handed." 

HUH!!! Run that by us again! Councillors will leave EMPTY_HANDED???? WHOOoooooooPEEeeeeeeDOOOoooo!
Oh sorry folks I think that should have read 'Councillors will leave US empty-handed.

His final words -" It's about council, councillors and residents all working together in the same direction." Jimmy baby the direction we are working on is OUT!

Several Money-sponges  Councillors have already taken the course and the final exam. Results are none too good.

Coun. Sykes -Disqualified - examiner said paper looked as if it had been used to wrap chips.
Coun. Battye - Disqualified for cheating. His mate Fitzpatrick got a woman from Greenacres to fill in his answers.
Coun. Alexander - Disqualified- Lost his crayon
Coun. McDonald - 4/10 -very poor. Said he would have done better if the questions had been easier.
Coun. Dean - 1/10 -Abysmal . later disqualified when it was discovered he had copied Coun McDonald's answers.
Coun. Allcock(by name not nature) - 5/10 - poor. Should have done better but his paper had large holes in it and what looked like half a petition on the back.
Coun. Hibbert - Disqualified for writing Arrogant as the answer to every question.
Coun. Beeley and Wrigglesworth - no papers handed in - it is understood they are appearing in Cinderella at Slinfold Hippodrome.
Coun. Dillon and Dillon - 9/10 - very good. They explained they did everything together and liked to get the best out of every experience. Orgasm is believed to be the next target on their list.
Coun. Barker - 3/10 - very poor from someone who was expected to do better. Would have scored higher if he hadn't kept changing his answers.
Coun. Akhtar - 0/10 - No points could be awarded as his paper looked as if the dog had slept on it. Come to think of it Coun Akhtar has the same appearance.
Coun. Knowless - 5/10 - lost marks for writing Greenfield Station as the answer to question  3) Where should we allocate this years income?

Coun. Roughley - Come in please your time is up!

YOU HAVE TO LAUGH!  -  HAVEN'T YOU?

CLOSE THE DOORS, THEY'RE COMING THROUGH THE WINDOWS!

THE AGENDA IS BECOMING CLEARER! 

CAN YOU SEE IT YET?

George Papandreou, elected prime minister of Greece, ‘resigns’ and is ‘replaced’ by the unelected Lucas Papademos, an economist who was Vice President of the European Central Bank from 2002 to 2010 prior to becoming an ‘advisor’ to the Greek government.
Silvio Berlusconi, elected prime minister of Italy, ‘resigns’ and is ‘replaced’ by the unelected Mario Monti, an economist who was European Commissioner for Competition from 1999 to 2004 prior to becoming an ‘advisor’ to the Italian government.

Is this just a coincidence?      Or is there a pattern developing here?


Questions that need asking:


1.    Why are we talking about resignations when we all know that these 'elected' politicians were forced from office by the EU and the ECB and replaced by a pair of yes-men, to further the aims of their New World Order?


2.    What brought both countries to the brink of disaster if both countries were 'benefitting' from the advisors appointed to the respective governments by the EU and ECB?


3.    Did Greece and Italy ask for these advisors or were they forced upon them by threat of withdrawal of support?


4.    What advice was given by these 'advisors' seeing that both countries have gone tits up? If they are so fucking clever how come their advice led to the present situation? Why would anyone trust them to sort out the mess when it seems most of it occurred under their stewardship?


5.    Was their function to achieve exactly the situation Greece and Italy find themselves in and achieve a bloodless coup by taking over two countries without an apparent squeal of protest? Why have the populace of Greece and Italy so meekly succumbed ? Do they not realise what has happened?


6.    Why have the two countries accepted the pair of Euro Arseholes foisted upon them. What political skills do the two possess; indeed what skills of any description, apart that is, from ripping us off for millions every year?


7.    Do you think there is a cat in hells chance of them relinquishing power even if the pair of them drag the invalids from death's door? Don't hold your breath folks: This is THE NEW WORLD ORDER This is where it starts: Today two countries- tomorrow the world

Just think folks if we had gone up to our bollocks into Europe, The Euro and the rest of the corruption, we could to-day be in the same position as Greece and Italy. Who, after evicting the dolly-bag duopoly of Cleggeron do you think our Euro-masters would have appointed to lead us to salvation?

What odds on the Welsh wind-bag Kunte Kinnock - or horror of horrors The traitorous liar Blair. You can bet it would be some-one of that ilk just so the Euro-Wankers could rub our noses in it.

HEED THE WARNINGS FOLKS!  THEY ARE AMONGST US NOW! STOP THE NEW WORLD ORDER NOW!

I SAID TO HIM - I SAID - 'YOU'RE IN THE WRONG JOB OUR KID!'

Last month it was announced that 400 jobs are set to be axed as Oldham Council attempts to find £24 million in savings for their 2012/13 budget.

An initial 122 posts were identified and are the subject of an on-going consultation with staff and trade unions which runs until December.

The council has now announced the next 278 posts that could be cut

 Councillor Abdul Jabbar, cabinet member for finance and resources, said: “This latest package of proposals is designed to mitigate the number of compulsory redundancies that we need to make.

“Together the savings we've identified in these first two stages of this process would cover the £24 million in savings that we need to find from next year’s budget. "

Did we hear that right???


The two redundancy schemes will save £24m?

400 jobs saving £24m = £60,000 per job!



Do we really have 400 people employed by OMBC on £60,000 p.a. who we can make redundant without too much pain?  If so it's no wonder we are in the deep doo-dah. What the fuck are they all doing?  Either Jabba The Cut, member for finagling and curry sauces, has one of those super deluxe, scientific, colour screen, printing calculators from 'Pound Universe' or we are being ripped off to some tune!  Still, don't forget Charlie 'Turd' Parker is on almost four times that. I know let's get rid of him and then we only need to cut 396 posts.

Apropos of absolutely fuck all, have you noticed 'councillors allowances' have been removed from the council website. Nothing to hide, have they??  Let's get them back, see what the venal bastards are up too! It's our money!

EN HAUT LE RUISSEAU DE MERDE SANS UNE PAGAIE!

.........The bloodletting  at Mouchel has continued with Bo Lerenius stepping down as chairman.

Last week the company’s largest shareholders said they supported the chairman and Mr Lerenius said he had never considered quitting.

However, he says now is the “right time to hand over” the chairmanship. (and get out from under before the shit hits the fan)

Grant Rumbles replaces Richard Cuthbert as chief executive, who was ousted from the company last week after it revealed an “actuarial error” will wipe £4m from profits.

13th October David Sugden, a non-executive director, is named interim chairman.
16th October  David Sugden Quits -. Mouchel's lending banks refuse to work with him!
Sir Michael Lyons, the former BBC Trust chairman, has been parachuted into Mouchel as interim chairman, which is heading for a breach of banking covenants and wants to refinance its £170m of bank facilities.

It's £170m of bank facilities were set up just a few months ago after it was revealed that Mouchel’s consortium of lending banks – Barclays, Royal Bank of Scotland and Lloyds – had hired Deloitte, the accountants to review Mouchel's finances,  triggering worries about the company’s financial position.

Don't you just love the way these guys at the top jump ship as soon as there's a whiff of blame wafting about. What's the betting these two will surface in a month or two, smelling of roses,  in some overpaid non-job. In the meanwhile Mouchel are still lading and teeming your money. Oldham council under the insipid  inspired captaincy of Little Jimmy Pudden face sail ever onward into the setting sun, blissfully unaware.

Apropos of absolutely fuck all, have you noticed 'councillors allowances' have been removed from the council website. Nothing to hide, have they??  Let's get them back, see what the venal bastards are up too! It's our money!