SPOT THE CANDIDATE.

YOU WOULDN'T!  WOULD YOU?  Please NO!  If it comes to a toss up between the large round fleshy object and the intelligent life form, go with the latter. You can always eat it on a sarnie later on.
Have you seen Professor  Pothole's CV.
 'I am not a professional politician, I have had many jobs from sweeping factory floors, delivering milk, through to managing a business, and I have been made redundant numerous times, so I have real-life experience just like many of the people in the constituency.'
Translation: Last full-time job - milk monitor at secondary school. I have never had a proper job in the real world.. The few times I did manage to stir my fat arse into action, I was made redundant (translation:- sacked). I have no real experience of anything other than sponging off the taxpayer as a council  trougher.

'I don’t have any businesses to look after or any company directorships, meaning that if elected I will be a full-time local MP working for the people of Oldham West and Royton, which includes Chadderton.'
Translation: Too thick to start a business. Would probably have to sack himself on first day. Who, in their right mind would offer a company directorship to this thick, talentless lump?  God knows we've seen what he is incapable of. Just imagine the doughboy as Pothole Potentate for the whole country!  Imagine if he was made chief shi gritter for the UK. We'd be at a standstill until August while he weighed out five pound bags of salt,(one only for each local authority), then it would start snowing again. Oh, no! More potholes!
Our sympathies go out to the voters of OW and R. You're between a rock and a hard place. Use your vote wisely, folks. Light the fire with your ballot paper!