OF COURSE WE'RE EQUALS. FOUR OF YOU EQUALS ONE OF ME!

 JH.   So what exactly will us Tories be doing Howie?

HS   Well Jackie baby, a lot of people have been asking that same question for many years, but the way I see it if you and your crony can organise the pink and orange, dandruff and belly-button fluff, re-cycling bins scheme and if you have any spare time you can take over explaining where Tommyfield has gone and how much longer the Town Hall will remain standing. This would then free up Me, Sykes the immovable and my cronies to run all the other mundane stuff. By the way, don't call me Howie you little Tory turd.

JH   Sorry  Howie, I'm just so excited at the prospects of so much power after all these years.

HS   If all the power goes to your head and you make a fuck up of AllCock's carefully planned re-cycling schemes I'll get you fucking excited. Now get back to your closet office and stop making the place look untidy. By the way did I mention not to call me Howie?

JH   You may have done Howeeeeee!  Ow! That hurts. Squeezing  like that could cut off the circulation.

HS   Call me Howie one more time and it won't be your hand I'm squeezing. Here's something for you to do fuck off quick to the chippy for me elevenses. I've had nowt to eat since me tenses. Get me a double helping of everything. Another couple of inches on me gut and they won't be able to get me out the door. I'll be here for life, he! he! he!

JH   Ok How...Sorry your Lardship  I'm on my way. By the way when we go on the jolly fact finding mission to Torquay for the bin wagon expo, can I ride in the big new shiny car with you?

HS   Can you fuck you cheeky little tosser! Two minutes in the frigging corridor of power and you think you own the place. That's my car, for me only, with nobody else in it, unless I can talk Kay, the peroxide piranha into accompanying me. I'd love to get her in a Dennis Kerbsider.

JH   I didn't know she was interested in wrestling Howie... eeeeeee!  Oooooh! that's nice. It's such a relief when you let go of them.

HS   Fuck off you little scrote. Bother me again and I'll give you a chinese burn. If I need you again before the next election I'll send Charlie to find you. And don't forget, plenty of salt and vinegar, and you might as well get me three buttered muffins while you're there. No, make it four. All this work has made me peckish!