XMAS HIGHLIGHTS........... ENTERTAINMENT OWDHAM STYLE!

Two Old biddys rescue injured goose!
“As we were feeding her, Val went round the back, grabbed her by the neck and put her in the bag. It was very easy to catch her.
“She is a beautiful goose. She was posing for the pictures as if she knew what was going on.”
She'll be fucking perplexed on Xmas day then! All golden brown with an onion rammed up her arse!

Ten candidates throw their hats into by-election ring
The candidates are: Elwyn Watkins for the Lib-Dems; Debbie Abrahams for Labour;  Kashif Ali for the Conservatives; Pirate Party leader Loz Kaye, a teacher at Liverpool  Institute of Performing Arts; Monster Raving Loony Party’s Flying Brick (Nick Delves),  David Bishop from the Bus-Pass Elvis Party and Peter Allen of the Green Party, who fought High Peak last year, narrowly losing on points after 10 gruelling rounds; Euro-MP Paul Nuttall,  will attempt to get more of his snout in the trough as UKIP candidate; Derek Adams represents the BNP and Stephen Morris from Bury the English Democrats.
If you combined all the brains of this bunch of chancers they wouldn't fill me grandad's flat 'at
If this news makes you feel nauseous, remove hat and throw your ring into it!

 Follow me; I'm right behind you
Brian Strutton, GMB National Secretary for Public Services, whose job is not under threat, but should be, said: “The cuts are here and now as the tsunami of job losses in local authorities just keeps coming. We have 87,374 posts threatened so far at 107 councils. GMB officers are consulting members on what they want the union to do in this unprecedented situation."
 What do the members want the union to do?? Is this wanker real? We want him and his well paid overstuffed cronies to get off their fat arses and try something constructive for a change. But no, he will probably, like all his jelly minded 'brothers', recommend 'strike action.' This of course will not affect Brian Strut-On, who will still be receiving his overlarded pay packet. Didn't hear no bleating when 'Comrade Brown' was increasing his power base, stuffing Labour clients in public sector jobs.

Bin collection info online

THE council has launched an online service for locals to keep up-to-date with bin collections.
Residents will be able to check waste collection schedules and find up-to-the-minute information about the affects of adverse weather on services. An amusing Xmas entertainment from your caring Council. This will provide everyone with a good laff on Boxing day as they search their 2011 calendars for 'Bin day.'


IT'S THE PRINCIPAL THAT MATTERS!

Great news on the financial front. The Council's 'Treasury Team' have managed to earn £15million by judicious investment of a lump of spare cash they found floating around. The council called this mysterious moolah, "money held in reserve." I didn't think we had any reserve. Did you folks? We are always hearing how short we are of the readies when anything needs doing. Maybe, like us, you've noticed interest rates are about one eighth of a point above shite at present. Therefore fifteen million in 'interest' indicates a huge sum of  "money held in reserve." How much? Do tell us. It's our money after all.

FROM THE OLDHAM EVENING CHRONICLE.....XMAS EVE 
"Your Chronicle will be in the shops early this morning to make sure you have the chance to get your hands on the local news and sport while getting your last minute shopping." But if you are an on-line subscriber, paying fifty quid a year, in advance, you've got nowt, nada, zilch, zero, fuck all! Good value OEC. Get your act together. Does no-one care any more?

PANTOMIME DAME
Councillor Lynne Topspin, cabinet member for Performing A Vanishing Act On Public Money, said: “This is the third year we have operated the Christmas closure scheme and it has proved very successful to date. If you count closure as a success, that is.
“The public should be relatively unaffected as to them it will appear like service as usual.
This plan makes sound economic sense for council tax payers, having saved the authority an estimated £77,000 last year over the three days. This from the Council that wasted £53,000 plus, of our money on the 'Whistling Piss-stone' street art.

Council leaders should be under fire fired!
 Town hall leaders are “stupid” if they cannot cope with savage cuts to their budgets, Communities Secretary Wilfred Pickles claimed yesterday. Nay, Nay, Wilfred lad, it's nowt do wi' coping wi cuts to their budgets. They are just plain downright fucking STOOPID, period.
Council leader Howard Sykes said Oldham was “in good shape” to handle the challenging budget settlement.
That's more than we can say for them two fat bastards, Sykes and Pickles. They've more chins between them than the Shanghai telephone directory. If I were that goose I'd watch out for a mountain of lard creeping up behind me, Paxo in hand.
Speaking of creeping up behind, we extend seasons greetings to Michael Moocher and his haemorrhoidal acolyte Suttie the Brown Nosed Gopher. What no card this year??

AND FINALLY........

To all those folks celebrating myriad diverse festivities of unknown and dubious origin with all their usual tolerance of the Christian ethos of this country.....To you we send this Christmas message.... BOLLOCKS!!

To our loyal, dedicated reader, from all here in the sty, we can only say..................

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS. 

Remember in 2011 it will be time to say ..... NO!!

QUESTION TIME ??????

This pile of twaddle from Ole Blubber Lips appeared in the Oldham evening Chronicle Fri 17th Dec The OEC had questioned why Labour had included him on the list of candidates for the forthcoming by-election. A reasonable question one may assume, given that his fingerprints were all over the operation which resulted in them losing their sitting MP in the constituency.

 

INTEGRITY IS NOT IN QUESTION

What the slimy toad seems to forget is that he was, alongside Joseph Fitzpatrick and Steven Green, responsible for promulgating and publishing the lies and innuendo in the various Labour rags, which lead to the downfall of Woolas. The actions of these three, in publishing personal attacks on Elwyn Watkins are what the whole court case hinged on. And he talks to us of integrity?

He states that in Court Judgement Para 125: His evidence, that the costs incurred by the Petitioner's election team was in the region of £200,000, was "unchallenged"

Also Para 125 The Court says "It is unclear from his statement how this very large sum was reached."

Para 126 says "One element in Mr Battye's estimate was evidence which the Respondent's election team had received from a former Liberal Democrat volunteer, Mrs McGladdery"

Para 131 The Court says: "We concluded that she was an unreliable witness."This woman made several unsubstantiated claims against the Petitioner and the Lib-Dems. The court said: " We were not persuaded that there was substance in any of these complaints and concluded that they demonstrated, unhappily, a preparedness on her part to make unfounded complaints......"
 "The Respondent, (Woolas), agreed when cross-examined that facts alleged in election addresses should be checked and should be backed up by RELIABLE evidence. We consider that on any objective assessment the allegations made by Mrs McGladdery were not reliable."

Para 131 The Court says: "We concluded that she was an unreliable witness."

Does that mean the evidence was discredited and unreliable???
Is this not the evidence upon which Battye based his accusations ???

This woman has been used as a stooge by  the Labour party  and Battye in particular. At one stage he was even drafting letters of complaint for her.
He claims that the "innuendo" in the editorial in the OEC was that his evidence was 'either discredited or unreliable.'

No blubberychops your evidence wasn't 'either discredited or unreliable.' It was discredited AND unreliable.
As for 'speculation about my integrity.' We are not speculating. We have you sussed. Much as we thought Woolas was a complete tosser, he deserved better than the three deceitful, scheming, lying pieces of shit: Battye, Fitzpatrick and Green.

THE TIME IS NOW!...... SAY NO !!

THERE'S A HOLE IN OUR BUCKET, DEAR HOWIE....A HOLE!

 This week it was reported that the Local Government Pension deficit 'totals £100bn'

A report says the scheme's liabilities have soared 41% over the past three years.
Latest research suggests the deficit in the Local Government Pension Scheme in England may have more than doubled in the past three years to £100bn.
The deficit would be equivalent to about 7% of the UK's annual economic output, and compares with a shortfall of £42bn three years ago.. Pension consultant John Ralfe who published the data, suggested taxpayers and scheme members will have to pay some £4 billion extra a year into local authority pensions to plug the gap over the next couple of decades. Communities Secretary, Eric Pickles said: "Town hall pensions are now costing over £300 a year to every household paying council tax,."  These latest figures point to an increase of two-thirds in pension contributions, from £300 to £500 a year for every household. He added,  'Town hall pensions are now costing over £300 a year to every household paying council tax. This is equivalent to a quarter of everyone’s local tax bill going to local government pension costs, rather than emptying bins, running libraries or cleaning the streets.' To cover the latest deficit figure will consume approximately one half of every household's council tax.'
Last year, when we first broached this subject, the deficit in the Oldham LGP scheme was reported to be £63.5 million. If the new figures are correct and based on the fact that it is very unlikely that OMBC have reduced the deficit, the figure now could be around £92 million.

Are all you council tax payers happy to be shoveling  half your annual extortion into the gold plated pension pots of the likes of Sykes and 'Turd' Parker, not to mention the myriad extra hangers on  managers, under managers, over managers, can barely managers and the couldn't manage a hot dinner, managers. Now you see why all our services are being hived off to outside companies, who cannot even manage to run their own operation efficiently. Now you see why we have no facilities, no amenities, no services. We have no money to run these things. You are paying the highest council tax in the area so that 55 year old, under-achievers who have spent twenty five years trying to justify their existence and ticking off the calendar to retirement day, can take their pot of gold and slope off to their Dordogne farmhouses where they sit laughing at us stupid fuckers.

Just look at those figures again!!  At present £300 of everyone's council tax goes towards the golden goodbye for the useless tossers. This will probably rise to £500 of everyone's council tax. Is this what you thought you were paying for??? Or were you labouring under the delusion that the bunch of brain-dead wankers were beavering away spending your taxes  on YOUR behalf to provide everything we thought we were entitled to expect, from people supposedly working for our benefit?

We have been asking for denial or confirmation of these figures for over a year now and if correct what steps are being taken to rectify the situation. We await any enlightening comments from the numbfucks in The Tower of Babble, but are not holding our breath!

IN THE MEANTIME: FOR FUCKS SAKE SAY...... NO!!

'EAD THE FUCKIN' BALL, MORE LIKE!!

This gormless shite came out with a typical slice of Labour fuckwittery the other day as he launched Labour's campaign for the by-election. There is no end to the self-delusional rantings of these knobheads who've never done a days work in their lives, but claim to be able to run every other buggers lives better than they can themselves. Read it and weep!

“I think it is shocking to see the plans for the north west,” he said. “Places like Manchester and Oldham thrived under Labour because we made sure that we made arrangements for areas with higher levels of deprivation were looked after."

Is he havin' a fuckin' laff ???  Oldham thrived under Labour?? Hands up all those who agree with that statement. For the last 30 plus years this town has been sliding down the slope of prosperity and quality of life. Nearly everything has gone! We have no amenities. No industry.  No leisure facilities. No market. No town centre left. Transport links to the town are a joke, we are virtually cut off from the rest of the world. 
Go and look at the records and photos of by-gone Oldham. See the bustling, prosperous, industrious town it used to be. Talk to the old folk who remember the good times. THEN you will realise that three-quarters of the town has fucking vanished. What did the mighty Labour party do whilst all this took place? Absolutely fuck all. They sat and drew their expenses, went on their jollies and yapped endlessly about their various self aggrandisement schemes. Empty vessels the lot of them. All wind and piss. Not an original idea from any of them down the years. Every one of them wedded to the Labour Party Manual. What a fucking waste!  It's the waste that gets to you. The wasted money. The wasted opportunity. The wasted time. The wasted lives.
Why the fuck the people in this town couldn't see through them, fuck only knows. Even now they are still at it, spoiling, spoiling, spoiling! Trying in their ignorance to score points off anyone who comes up with a halfway good idea. Against everything on principle if they didn't think of it first. No thought for the greater good of the town and it's inhabitants. Just so long as 'I'm alright Jack' is taken care of. We need a fucking clean sweep. A fresh start. Fuck the useless fuckers off!!!!

YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD SAY......... NO !!

A MICKEY MOUCHEL ORGANISATION!

 More good news for Oldham. Mouchel, the company behind the Unity Partnership, to whom our beloved Council has been hiving off ever greater chunks of the running of the town, is reported to be having financial problems. It could only happen in this town. We have a Council with no money, will, ability or ambition to run the everyday business of a Council handing over our Taxes to a company that has £180M of Bank debt. In October, Mouchel announced losses of over £14.7 million and has been forced to reduce its staff by 2,000 across the country. Mouchel's bankers, Barclays, RBS and Lloyds have called in accountants Deloitte to examine the company's books, triggering worries over Mouchel's financial standing.Shares in the company have fallen 70% since the start of the year.
The share price is currently 76.5p valuing the company at £85.9M Not much to back up the bank debt there.

Now the ineffable Councillor MadMan, leader of the Labour group which appointed  the Chief Executive who signed Oldham up to a 12 year agreement with this company, says we should delay transfering further Council services to the partnership  Councillor MadMan, said: “First we have had to agree a bailout to stop losses following the failure of Mouchel to bring in the promised new work. “We then had Oldham’s call centre moved to Rochdale, and have been forced to accept a shared management team with Rochdale to save money.” So, effectively, we are paying money, to save money, to a company that is losing money! Oh, by the way, this money we are talking about is your money. It's your council tax, or what's left of it after the council have dipped their stickies in it.
The Unity partnership already provides the Access Oldham contact centre, some finance, highways, property and IT services, and is due to take over the council’s human resources, credit control, and some accounts functions, highway management and more customer services next year. Fuck me!! Stop these bastards immediately. If we don't and the useless tossers go under we will probably have to sell the town to cover their debt.
A spokesman for Mouchel says: " We are continuing to demonstrate our commitment to Oldham, most recently with the announcement that we will be bringing 65 new jobs to the borough next year.” This is due to the fact that they have had to close their Liverpool operation and bring the jobs to Oldham to save money. Cynical? Moi?

YOU WERE WARNED.....IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO SAY.....NO !!

HARTLEPOOL ONCE HANGED A MONKEY THINKING IT A FRENCH SPY....THERE'S MORE MONKEYS FROM THERE NEED HANGING!

Labour has named the team who will help new candidate Debbie Abrahams fight the Oldham East and Saddleworth by-election.

Her campaign manager, hoping to help her retain the seat taken from Phil Woolas after his historic Election Court defeat, is Hartlepool MP Iain Wright, shown here (left) with his fat fucking 'live in friend' Tom Watson. Wright is the stupid fuckwad who visited the town last year and thought it a 'fantastic place.'  He is one of the Labour MPs with 'form' from the expenses scandal. Read what this Honourable Member and his 'Friend' got up to prior to last years revelations. 

Iain Wright and Tom Watson lavish £100,000 on shared central London flat on MPs' expenses

 Daily telegraph 10 May 2009
Two Labour ministers, Iain Wright and Tom Watson, have used their parliamentary allowances to lavish more than £100,000 on a shared central London crash pad since the last general election.
Mr Wright, a junior housing minister, asked the Commons fees office if he could buy furniture at taxpayers' expense even before he had purchased a property, saying that he wanted to use up all his allowance for the year.
He was told that for form's sake he should wait until after the general election to see if he would be returned as an MP.
Mr Wright's flatmate, Mr Watson, the minister for digital engagement, spent the maximum of £4,800 in a single year on food, and had his expenses cut after buying a set of dining room chairs that exceeded the limit set by the fees office.
Both men later claimed for a half share of the legal costs involved in the original purchase of the Westminster mansion flat, and then the fees involved in buying the freehold of the property a short time later.
By purchasing the freehold, the MPs will have added significantly to the value of the apartment, but are under no obligation to pass on to the taxpayer any profits made when they sell the flat in future.
After winning the by-election that resulted from the resignation of Lord Mandelson as MP for Hartlepool in 2004, Mr Wright used his additional costs allowance, which members can use to fund a second home, to stay in a variety of London hotels.
In April 2005, two days after Tony Blair had called a general election for the following month, he wrote to the Commons fees office, saying: "Feel like I'm bothering you all the time, but I don't want to run foul of the regulations. Today I'm putting in a claim for £1,811, which includes £1,200 for things I've bought like bedding, kitchen equipment etc. I haven't yet bought a house although I'm in the very early stages.
"It's still OK to claim isn't it? It seems stupid to carry it over into next year when a large chunk of my ACA would go unused. Let me know your advice."
Using the MP's first name, a senior official replied: "Iain, this is not something I have ever come across before. So the following ramblings are me thinking out loud!
"It appears a reasonable request but the difficulty we would have is reimbursing you without a definite purchase date.
"It can be a lengthy process which could take six months perhaps a year – can I ask how early in the buying process you are?
"There is also the General Election to take into account. Not only the risk of losing your seat (unlikely I know) but also adding further delay to the buying process. My advice would be to claim from 2004-5 as intended but withhold your claim until after May 6 2005.
"Last year's allowance will still be available to you up until May 31 2005. I think DFA [the Department of Finance and Administration] would be more willing to reimburse you in advance of the purchase of the House [sic] once you are returned."
After purchasing the Westminster flat with Mr Watson, a close ally of Gordon Brown who was forced to deny involvement in the recent Damian McBride email scandal, the pair each submitted thousands of pounds for arrangement fees and stamp duty.
They did the same the following year when they purchased the freehold of the property, claiming £1,431.46 for more legal expenses.
As well as claiming for up to £375 a month for food, Mr Wright regularly submitted claims for toiletries, before being advised that these were not admissible under the rules. Mr Watson also spent significant sums on food, on at least one occasion exceeding the £400-a-month limit.
His expenses were docked again in 2006 when he claimed £210 too much for a set of dining room chairs.
Yesterday, Mr Watson was at pains to point out that a "pizza wheel" that appears on a Marks & Spencer receipt he submitted was given as a free gift after he went on a £150 spending spree at the store.
He added: "All claims were made under the rules set out by the House of Commons authorities. I fully understand why the public expects the system to be reformed. I voted for this last week and only hope that reforms can go even further as quickly as possible."
Mr Wright said: "As a new MP, I purchased furniture and electrical equipment once I was in the process of purchasing a half share of a small two-bedroom flat in London." 

Another one, pure as the driven shit, foisted upon us. Mind you finding an untainted MP these days is as likely as finding Lord Lucan propping up the bar at The Royal Oak, Werneth (an advert, by Jove). This one is no better than the three fuckwits who managed to end Woolyarse's career. The crooks are running the jails. This town attracts them like a turd attracts flies.

REMEMBER THE WORD IS........ NO !!

SANTA HEARS YOU'VE BEEN A NAUGHTY BOY THIS YEAR PHIL.....NO XMAS PREZZIES FOR YOU THEN!

 Oldham East and Saddleworth by-election to be held on January 13th. Labour annoyed. Say it gives them too little time for campaigning.  'Santa' Meacher, MP for t'other 'alf of Oldham says:  “No one wants a politician knocking on their door over Christmas." No! and we don't want you either mate. Can you imagine the fun of opening your door on Xmas Eve and finding that spirit of Christmas past emptying his sack on your festive holly pattern doormat, even if he was being given a hand by his little helper, Jeremy the brown nosed eager beaver?
Bah! Humbug! begone, should be your response, and a plague on all your houses Meac£er! Why not make his Christmas complete, tell him you are all voting BNP.

'Twere the night afore Christmas and all through the house
nothing were stirring, not even a mouse.
When from the front door came this loud fuckin' bangin',
'Twere Meacher the pillock, with his acolyte, Suttie, from his arsehole  hangin.'
'Can we rely on your vote?'  He asked, 'when electoral duty calls.'
As one, with great uplifted voice, the voters all cried ........ 

REMEMBER YOU CAN SAY...... NO !!

ALL INTELLIGENT LIFE IS HERE...

 Oh dear! Two minutes into the campaign and the candidates are at it already. Labour candidate Debbie Abrahams opened the Labour book of tired old platitudes, stuck in a pin at random  and warbled: “I can’t wait until polling day when the people of Oldham East and Saddleworth will get their chance to send a clear message to the Lib Dem-Tory Government.” Nothing new there then! What does that pile of shite mean? What fucking clear message?  Why do we need Lib Dem-Tory? We all know who the Government are. The seat was held by Labour so what sort of major upset would it be if it continued thus. It's bloody sad to hear the same old claptrap from a Labour candidate. You can see why they selected her down in Lunnun. She's just another Labour placewoman. They even come ready dressed for the job. Another Labour Stepford Wife.



 

YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE..... JUST SAY  NO !!

WI' A GOB LIKE THAT 'E COULD SUCK-START A TRIUMPH BONNEVILLE!

OLDHAM’S ruling coalition is being used as cannon fodder by a government which has sent them over the top. That’s the view of Old Blubberlips Battye  former council leader and mayor. He should know all about 'over the top' being one of the brilliant Labour tossers responsible for the loss of his party's MP the unlamented Woolyarse. Perhaps he should write anonymous letters to the Government, he's good at that. maybe he should run off a few scurrilous leaflets, he's good at that. What he is absolutely NO fucking good at is representing the people of this town, providing value for money and being an honest upright citizen. The man is a total fucking joke. He even had the nerve to put his name forward for Woolyarse's job. There's a backstabber for you. After his sordid involvement in the case what made him think anyone would vote for his brand of repugnant politics? Why is he still tolerated. Would you want the slimy shite in your corner. Have we heard a word of condemnation from the other useless twat Jim Madman, leader (sic) of the local party? Have you bollocks! Know why? Course you do. They have to cling on to every seat like grim death. What a sordid bunch of  spineless, immoral, talentless, money sponges they are. How you, the people of Oldham can keep voting for the bunch of fuckwads is a mystery. They have brought nowt but misery to this town and misery is all they have to offer for the future. The Lib-Dems are on the same road, but a long way behind, while the other party the er, oh, ah, oh aye the Tories that's them, well they got lost on the way.

THE TIME IS COMING VERY SHORTLY:  REMEMBER JUST SAY NO !! 

LISTEN UP, SHEEPLE, REMEMBER THAT MARK AND PUT ONE LIKE IT NEXT TO WHERE IT SAYS LAB!

 

A gathering of Labour supporters being given guidance on how to mark the ballot paper for the forthcoming by-election in Oldham East and Saddleworth.

THE TIME HAS COME TO SAY..............NO!!!

FAMOUS LAST WORDS!!

IF I LOSE THIS COURT CASE I'LL EAT MY DICK!

Well, that should go down nicely with a few chips,a couple of pints of bitter and a bunch of sour grapes.

It couldn't happen to a more deserving fuckwit. At last we're rid of the talentless, thieving, devious pocket liner. Did you see his performance on TV after his last toe-hold on the job was kicked from under him? The hard faced cunt showed no remorse, offered no apology and blamed everyone else for his self inflicted wound and had the gall to claim it was an affront to democracy. The workshy, panty lined, tampon wearing big girls blouse, wouldn't recognise democracy if it jumped up and kicked him in his lip-sticked gob! Well done to all the Labour 'sheeple' who donated to the tosser's defence. We sincerely hope you feel it was money well spent. We also hope it costs him ALL the ill gotten gains he creamed off us during the wasted years he supposedly represented the people of Oldham East and Saddleworth. The only thing the twat represented was the gravy train. All we have to do now is rid ourselves of his fellow riders, like 'Fuck your career Fitzpatrick' and 'Ole Blubber lips Battye' the phantom letter writer and general arsehole greaser. Have we heard anything on these two from our beloved local Troughers Labour Party?  I thought not! Don't hold your breath waiting for any censure from 'More Money McMahon,'  the supposed leader of the band of trough stomping, clueless bastards. The only thing he leads is the stampede for the expenses payouts. We need to be rid of the other money pit in Oldham West as well. That is if we can prise Sutcliffe from up his ring. He's been strangely quiet on the matter have you noticed. None of his usual lecturing us on how he did it, would do it, and the procedures to follow from the book of Labour fuckwittery. Fuck 'em all off. Let's have a fresh start. For Gawd's sake OE & S please vote for somebody with the interests of the constituency and it's inhabitants at heart. Enough of the self servers. Stop being 'sheeple' be responsible citizens.

FEEL FREE TO JOIN IN THE LEAVING CELEBRATIONS FOR THE LITTLE TWAT


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REMEMBER ......... JUST SAY .....

 

SHORT NOTICE OF SALE

MESSRS GRABBEM TWISTE & SQUEEZUM  VALUERS AND AUCTIONEERS OF ANY OLD TAT. OFFER FOR SALE FROM THE SECOND HOME OF A DISTRESSED GENTLEMAN THE FOLLOWING ITEMS.

LADIES SHOES (Dozens of pairs)      PANTY LINERS (Useful for all night sittings)

            LADIES SKIRTS (Bought in error)      BLOUSES (Big girls)                                                 

           LIPSTICKS (Many colours)                LARGE QUANTITY WINE (Chateau Tesco)           

                TAMPONS (Unused)                      VAST NUMBER OF COMICS (MPs Autobiogaphies etc)  

All as new. Receipts available 

Also to be sold without reserve: The above mentioned second home, belonging to a gentleman of repute. Recently re-furbished at tremendous expenses. Situated in a desirable area of Lees, Oldham......or is it Brentford?  We're not quite sure. But then again neither was the gentleman of repute. The property is very handy for all local amenities incl: Cash Converters, Tumbril Makers, Job-Centre, Unemployment Benefit Office, Salvation Army Soup Kitchen, Samaritans etc. 

TERMS :- CASH ONLY (Lots and lots of it please. OOOooh yeah! I love it. Lovely money. New notes- all crisp and crinkly - aaaaaargh. Covered in those erotic images, 20, 50. 100...... oooooooh....... too late.............. I'm coming darling!

             

FOLLOW ME.......I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!

  Joe 'The Fixer' Fitzpatrick, the brainshite who, as Woolyarse's election agent, wrote the crap that ended the egregious career of the lamentable and unlamented little twat, says he had no regrets about it. Well he wouldn't would he?  He's lost fuck all.  He's still got all his fingers in the local pies. Not for much longer one would hope. After the verdict was known, the arsewipe said, "Two High Court judges have decided to overturn the will of the people of Oldham East and Saddleworth." Aye they have Joe lad, but they did it using proper legal methods. You attempted to do it using lies, smears, racial intimidation, threats of violence and any dirty trick you could find in your bumper fun book, 'How to Shaft the Public.'  That you twat, is what makes you an unfit person to represent the good people of this town in any organisation. We have enough trouble with elected members in this town without an unelected piece of slimy shite, such as yourself, further muddying the waters. I guess what I am saying, Joe, is, For Fuck's Sake Fuck the Fuck off! You are embarrassing us all you freeloading, trough stamping arsehole. He ended his self paean with the stirring cry of  "I have no regrets. I stand by everything." Good! Then he should be equally prepared to fall by everything. You simply can't polish a turd. Can you?

THE TIME IS COMING!   WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

JUST SAY......NO !!!!

NEVER DARKEN OUR DOORSTEPS AGAIN........YER CUNT!!!

At last we've got rid of the duplicitous, lying, thieving, conniving, cheating, money grabbing bastard lump of useless crap!

What a fucking fitting end to a glitterless career. The only pity is that the little twat Woolyarse had to once more drag the name of Oldham through the mud. It was plainly evident from shortly after he first won the seat that the man was a total incompetent. Virtually everything he has touched has turned to shit in his hands. You sensed that the Labour party regarded him as an embarrassment but he has had his nose jammed so far up successive leaders arseholes that it has been almost impossible to dislodge him. Ah well, one down, one to go. We've been telling you for ages that Phil Useless was a con-artist but the Labour sheeple of this town are so blinkered they can't see the wood for the trees. It hasn't taken his party long to disown him has it?  It's a pity we didn't do it years ago. Even if Elwyn Watkins loses the re-run, we should award him the freedom of the borough for ridding us of, certainly Oldham's worst ever MP and possibly one of the worst MPs of all time. This was a man  solely intent on furthering his own aims and trousering as much public money as he could get his hands on. Every Government position he has held has shown him up for the light-weight ignoramus that he is, from his about-turns and lies over immigration to the shameful episode regarding the rights of our brave allies, the Gurkhas, he has been found wanting. Isn't it ironic that as Minister for Immigration he used the immigrant population to try and manipulate the course of the election. I bet the immigrant population of East Oldham and Saddleworth  love him for that and are overjoyed they voted for him. He used them as he used everybody along the way. They were a means to an end  that he was determined to win at all costs. Well, now he knows the cost.   It's getting on for £300,000 a year and he's blown it. It couldn't happen to a nicer chap!!  The man is now a liability to the party. Expect Millipede to cut him adrift smartish. He can always hide out with his hero Gordon the fucking Scottish barmpot, another of the 'never had a proper job in their lives mob,' Straw's another prime example. Why do we expect these morons who have never held down a proper job, to be capable of running the country?

So, now we come to the other scheming bastards with their fingers in this far from savoury pie.

 
Firstl, we have the fragrant Joseph Christopher Fitzpatrick. An Oldham councillor for eight years with two years as chair of housing. Now, chair of Positive Steps Oldham, chair of Homestart Oldham, chair of Breeze Hill governors and a governor at St Hugh's Primary. He was also Election Agent for Phil Woolas, and was the architect of the plan to discredit Alwyn Watkins with a series of lies, slurs and allegations of racism, which were published in a news-sheet sent out to the voters of Oldham East and Saddleworth. He knew these were all lies!

Secondly we have another of the free-loader brigade, John Bernard Battye, Woolyarse's 'parliamentary researcher'. He is the local gofer for Woolyarse, meddler, manipulator and string pulling trougher recently re-elected to Oldham Council. He knew these were all lies!



Thirdly we have the shadowy figure of one Stephen Green, who rejoiced in the title of 'communications lead' for Woolyarse.  He knew these were all lies!

These three concocted the plan to discredit Watkins when Fitzpatrick realised that Woolyarse was likely to lose the election. Woolyarse went along with it. He knew these were all lies!

What action can we expect from Oldham Council and the local Labour party? After all, if the main protagonist has been found guilty then the accomplices who aided, abetted and instigated the scurrilous attack must be equally guilty. Can we expect action from the party or are they furiously stirring the whitewash? Do we want low life schemers like this running and representing our town?  Is Joseph Christopher Fitzpatrick a fit and proper person to be a governor of two local schools and to hold more chairs than a Queen Anne dining suite?
The more rocks we turn over the more of these parasitic life forms we discover all beavering away grabbing as much of our cash as they can gather. 

 The time is here folks and the time is now...........

IT IS TIME TO SAY...... NO !!!!

YOU KISS MINE AND I'LL KISS..... MINE AS WELL!

Continuing the blog of Oct 7 'Add Tincture to Your Sphincter'  I see that the arseholes are still twitching in tune. In response to a question from Counc Ken Hulme asking how much it had cost and who had appointed the members of the Oldham Improvement Board. We find they were appointed by the leaders of the three main parties(no surprises there then). They met seven times and cost us £9604. Lynne Topspin, Cabinet member for performing a vanishing act on public money, said, this mere bagatelle made it a "no brainer" (she's well qualified there then!), and she wouldn't hesitate to take the same approach again. Of course she fuckin' wouldn't! It's not her bleeding money she's throwing around. It's nine households council tax. She claims it is an excellent 'invest to save' project. She has invested nowt. She has frittered away £9K+ of OUR money.
Her justification for this latest spendfest?  "The board was needed to scrutinise the Lib-Dem's plans to overhaul the declining council (her words), and tackle the £20M budget black hole they inherited from Labour. Why? They keep telling us they are the chosen ones to run this town and we pay far too many people far too much money to do just that. If they need to employ others to peer over their shoulders and scrutinise their works, then are they fit for purpose?  The Lab black hole is a vile calumny according to Lab apologiste and weasel Suttie, the greatest Councillor ever in the history of the world (his words), as every Lab budget balanced to within three farthings (ask yer granddad).
Topspins list of achievements - Winning Britain in Bloom...The flowers are all dead now. Anti-social behavior down by 15% this year and 27% last year....You don't get out enough Topspin.  £10M investment in highways...won't even fill all the potholes. Improved exam results... what the fuck has that to do with the council, apart from which, the exams are so fucking easy I bet some of the Council could pass them. Last but not least £1.45M investment in Oldham Coliseum...Instead of finding it a new home as it is obvious it can't last much longer left as is. Great. Loads of jobs, industry, amenities and regeneration in that little lot.
Topspin said board members were experienced(what in?) and well-respected (by whom?) figures in local Government.
Let's have a list of their names, qualifications and how much they scraped from the trough for this nonsense.

It is time to say.....NO!!!!

I DON'T KNOW A LOT ABOUT ART. BUT I KNOW WHAT I LIKE!

 Fifty three thousand fucking pounds it cost us. It has never worked. It never looked like working! It was the ugliest piece of 'public art' you are ever likely to experience. What are we talking about? What else but The Whistling Piss-stone dumped by our philistine council in our high street. The fat fuck Sykes says, like the simple twat he is, 'Timewash did not cost the citizens of the borough a penny because it was paid for out of the European Development Fund.' What a stupid fucker that fat bastard is! Who the fuck does he think keeps all those dago, kraut, froggie bastards in their useless jobs?  Us! You stupid cunt! With all our taxes that are siphoned off to the foreign pricks every year. Listen to what the obesity has to say on the matter. 'Officers have tried on numerous occasions to get the fucking eyesore  sculpture operational but it has not been possible.' The fucking embarrassing waste of space has had numerous repairs, new manhole covers, extra filters and protective fittings. And how the fucking fuckety fuck much did that lot cost us?  His lardship says he will not sanction any further public money being spent trying to get this ill-conceived and poorly designed piece of crap to work. I should think not. You can fit in a lot of jollies for 53 Grand. He thinks it an embarrassment and to have done nothing and let it stay there would have resulted in it becoming a blight on the High Street and Town centre.. How the fuck can you embarrass Oldham town centre?. How the fuck can you blight a blight?
A spokesman for The Taxpayer's Alliance said. ' This is a lamentable waste of public money and someone should be held to account.' Good idea! Start with the fucking useless set of Labour twats who were responsible for it. Then let's go after the cretin who designed and built the piece of crap. Do what we all do when we buy something that doesn't work. Let's demand OUR money back.
We should make ourselves heard. We have a voice.

What we have forgotten is how to say   NO!!!!

PS Have just seen the project Info sheet from when the eyesore was installed. Guess who was officer responsible? None other than the unlamented Tony Noblet. Yes the very same. El Supremo of our roads.  Chief Gritter who hadn't realised that Owdham was hilly. Whatever happened to him? Is he now looking into potholes?  Is he Alcock's love interest?  Is he on the highway to hell?  Does anyone care?

All together now everyone say........NO!!!! 

EDUCASHUN, EDDYKAITION, EDUCAY....OH FUCK IT!!!!

Further to the previous post it was reported  that Mr Whaley was supported by Debbie Bridge, the head of University Campus Oldham, who welcomed everyone to the facility and pointed out that the site had 1,200 full and part-time students studying for degrees “right here in the heart of Oldham”. What are they studying for their 'degrees'? Meeja Studies?  Hair styling (advanced)?  X- Factor? Nail Technology? Other esoteric worthless career moves? Approx 1,190 of 'em would probably be better off quitting and finding training in worthwhile jobs. They are being conned by the pretentious twee job protectors at 'University Campus Oldham' (Hah!) It's Huddersfield Polytech for gawds sake! Oxbridge it ain't! It's the last refuge of the don't want to start work brigade. Oldham has become the town of schools. None of them worth a shit! No jobs. No industry. No prospects. Just fucking schools! It's time we said, "enough." We have sufficient schools.  We don't need academies, amalgamated schools, shiny new school buildings all over town. What is needed are capable teachers.Capable, that is, of turning out kids, able to read and write after eleven years of so called teaching. We need plans to entice employers to the town, not more second rate education.

FOLLOW ME! I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU!

In an original piece of navel gazing it was reported (in the Oldham Evening Chronicle of course) that Chronicle editor DIave Whaley gave a presentation on the newspaper’s role in the future of our town., entitled- “Positive about Oldham”  (negatives £2.50 each from The Chronicle Office.)

Defending the Chronicle’s right to report the unflattering, and to be critical “when the occasion and times demand”, he insisted it was in the interest of everyone who holds dear the future of Oldham that the borough has a thriving evening NEWSpaper. We thoroughly agree. Anyone want to start one?  Note the emphasis on NEWS. Something that is sadly lacking in the OEC of today. It has more advertising than the Oldham Advertiser. At one time it was a paper filled with up-to-date news both national and local: a good read and good value. Now, what passes for news is hidden away in one inch segments in two or three end columns. We read reports of chimney fires in Westhoughton and bicycle theft in Wilmslow. What relevance to the people of Oldham?? What local 'news' there is has been recycled from competitors journals and is usually well past it's sell by date. Sports reports appear days after the event when everyone knows all the results and is past caring about rehashed old news. The Chron is now nothing more than a social gazette and a photo peddling operation. Every week they dream up another scheme to involve locals having their pics taken so increasing sales. The impression one gets with the Chron is that 'real news' gets in the way of advertising, the myriad Chronicle 'promotions' and the endless round of school reports, complete with pics, (available at a reasonable price)
He defends the right to be unflattering and critical. Yet nothing in this town seems to raise the ire of what is supposed to be our voice. Criticism of the miserable Council is verboten. Nothing remotely unflattering is ever written about the numbskulls supposedly running the town. Nothing critical of the hare-brained schemes dreamt up by the same numbskulls, the destruction of our town, the exorbitant council tax, the blatant self serving and self aggrandisement, the profligacy and sheer greed of our elected morons is ever published. Dissent in the letters to the paper is censored out, this means we are not allowed to voice our opinions in the OEC  This is most likely because the Chron is mortally feared of losing it's only remaining source of information if it offends T'Council.
Everything in the town is perfect, every plan published is just what we have been waiting for. Only the other day we were greeted by the headline - "We're going places." Aye well we may be but I doubt it's the promised land envisaged by The Chron where we will all live happily ever after drinking OB and reading the Green Final. (Ask yer granddad!)   
In a snub to the 'free beer, tomorrow ' hopefuls, Mr Whaley said, 'For this Utopia to come to pass,  we need your support — we need you to use our columns to promote your business and support Oldham,.  In other words, ' buy more advertising space.'
 He added, “We don’t have a crystal ball; we can’t possibly know everything that is going on. But you people, our readers, do. We need you tell us all the good-news stories that reflect well on the people of Oldham. At one time the OEC had fine reporters who went out and about around the area and knew virtually everything that was happening locally. What have we now? Barely literate school leavers, who have probably done 'meeja studies' and think they are Pullitzer Prize winners. The writing is stilted and riddled with errors, grammatical and factual. One gets the impression that no thought, planning or research has gone into the output of these amateurish pieces. It is also obvious that the art of proof-reading has been lost at the Chron.
The online edition is slowly going downhill. Not a terribly long trip! It publishes later and later every day and what 'news' is in it is hardly worth reading. Eleven pieces of nonsense one day recently about how well our schools have done in what are laughingly called exams complete with endless lists of names. Who the hell is interested?
It's time the Chron abandoned it's Swiss style neutrality and stood up for the people of this town by condemning the excesses of the Council and the destruction of what was once, albeit not pretty, a pleasant place to live. Mr Whaley, in his relatively short time at the helm following the retirement of the much missed Jim Williams, has allowed the Chron to slide ever more toward being an organ of the Council Chamber. Our message to Mr Whaley?  Become once again the voice of the people. Have the courage to stand up to the bullies in the Civic Centre, have the courage to say enough, have the courage to say no, have the courage to say something is wrong. Ride at the head of our army. We will love you more for it.  

ADD TINCTURE TO YOUR SPHINCTER!

The Oldham Improvement Board, (OIB) was set up by Oldham Council and underemployed chief waste of space, Charlie 'Turd' Parker. Members comprised mainly councillors, sundry members of quangos already having a finger in the pie and three out of work ex chief executives. It was set up after our grinning fool of a Chief Executive, Charlie 'Turd' Parker, "identified" a series of weaknesses. Most of these have turned out to be inside his head.
It's brief was to monitor the Council's  plans, oversee progress on key matters then massage the egos of the brainless twats in the council chamber. This is what THEY are supposed to be for. This is what we thought we were electing them for. It is surely their role to oversee the 'plans' that they are responsible for, not just turn up every month for afternoon tea and an expenses envelope. Similarly with the plethora of managers, under managers, over managers and other sundry, overpaid, under-worked jobs-for-the-boys, who pack the council workforce. Are none of these capable of doing their job properly without someone peering over their shoulder. If not then we know where to start the slimming down process.
The OIB brains trust has now published it's report. Guess what???  Everything in Oldham is A-OK, with fantastic services and the people of Oldham are well satisfied with their inspirational set of cunts..counts councillors. This farrago of nonsense has now led to an outbreak of songs of praise. OIB has praised the Council, the report from OIB has been praised by Cabinet, the Council has praised the OIB and last but not least the Cabinet has praised the Council. Did you follow all that? Talk about brown nosed arse lickers!
What is so wonderful about our councillors and their plans for the town as set out in this report, you may ask?
OK here goes:
1.   The securing of Metrolink in the Town Centre. The Union St branch-line (if it ever arrives), is not in the Town Centre. The location of the actual Town Centre is now lost in the mists of time and the dog's breakfast of a dump around the Spindles Shopping Error.
2.   A high satisfaction rate for waste disposal and street cleaning.  This can only be self-satisfaction by our cloud of numpties. Do you know of anyone satisfied with the waste disposal farce and the hordes of overflowing wheelie bins congregating on every street corner like delinquent  teenagers? Did you ask for a fortnightly collection? Did you ask to be allowed to wheel your bin quarter of a mile to the nearest pick up point. Did this rabble of assorted self-important pillocks ever come down your street and see the shite strewn everywhere,(especially around the wheelie bin pick up points), the sweet smelling grids gleaming as they wait to carry off the gentle rain? Did they take note of the crisp-packet bushes planted all over the borough by our elected arseholes and the ankle deep detritus outside all the take away money laundering establishments in the town?
3.   Success of the Sports Development Service.  This is probably down to their endeavours with the Churchill swimming hole at Uppermill, the Clayton goal-post painting schemes and their putting up a board with the names of people they have never heard of, who, they believed, played sport of one sort or another.
4.   Outstanding fostering service.   Who are these people to decide if this service is good bad or indifferent? What knowledge do they have of the subject? Did they ask any adoptees if they were ecstatic about the service or is it just another quango assuming that because there were quite a few adoptions all must be OK?
5.   Outstanding Pupil Referral Unit. We should be good at that considering the number of truants, problem kids and non-learners thrown up by our woefully under-performing schools.
6.   A highly rated Adult Learning Service. Well they have to learn sometime. Schools are so mired in an ideological morass that most youngsters leave school knowing virtually nowt.
And that's it basically!
No mention of the (non) value for money we get for our Council Tax, highest in Greater Manchester. No mention of our lack of facilities, amenities, transport links, industry, jobs etc. No mention of the shit-hole that is the Town Centre. No mention of the no go areas of the town. No mention of the dirt and squalor. No mention of the Council services that are actually fucking crap. Roads, potholes, the winter gritting fiasco, the Tommyfield to tents so we can have a car park connivance. Oh, we could go on and on, but we forget this is all about singing from the songs of praise hymnsheet, (published by OMBC price very reasonable).
Deputy leader of the Council Jackie Starturn unbelievably said, "The fact we were 'brave' enough to bring in external people to scrutinise our work is a great achievement."
Brave, you fucking imbecile? If the fuckety fucking lot of you had the slightest grasp of what the fuck you are supposed to be doing, we wouldn't need external scrutiny. Where the fuck would we be if every company and organisation had to keep calling in outsiders to see if they were doing their job properly?  In the old far off days when this was a prosperous, busy town, with a full complement of amenities, attractions and employment, councillors didn't need the help of outside hangers-on to run the town. They instinctively knew what was required and provided it at good value for money for our citizens. The buzzing noise you can hear is the poor bastards spinning in their graves. Our local news, the Oldham Evening Councillor, fearful of being excluded by the deluded, believes all this crap and tells us "We're going places." Aye we are. Down the shitter!!
Fat fuck Sykes, Feeder of the Council said, " This report clearly shows we have made significant progress and I would like to thank the board for it's 'invaluable' work.

Do you want to bet it's invaluable? It will have been valued very generously and YOU and I are going to pick up the tab.
What do you think the going rate is for a sleaze of councillors, several quango hoppers and three out of work ex spongers? Let's see if our worthy leaders will tell us.

OMBC TELL US HOW MUCH THIS ARSE MASSAGING EXERCISE HAS COST US!!!!!! 

ROONEY SAYS - " I'M ONLY HUMAN" - -SCIENTISTS TO INVESTIGATE!

 Supreme ball artist and favourite of the Pay Per Screw crowd, Whine Rooney, says he must be given the chance to play himself back into form. The 24 year old has been plagued with  poor performances this season and his football  has suffered as a result. He pleaded for patience from his tens of fans saying, "I'm only a human being."  This astounding claim is being investigated by teams of anthropologists from Liverpool University's department of  Scallies and Pie scoffers.
It had been hoped that Rooney would now be back to peak fitness after hiring a private trainer. He has been paying £1200 a night for coaching sessions from a money grubbing tart local expert on ball handling skills, but he has yet to score at home from fore open play this season. Though to be fair he has slotted some beauties playing away from home.
He has been suffering from niggling injuries lately. Experts believe he picked up most of these injuries when he was trying out in different positions, ie, left-inside, square at the back, up-front etc.
Only today he suffered yet another knock off, sustained while  showing team-mate 'Plug" Ferdinand a new position, tied upside down, naked, apart from an Arab Strap, to a water pipe in the United dressing room, whilst three old skanks rubbed greasy meat and 'tater pies all over his priceless assets.All was going well until the pipe fractured, flooding the dressing room and nearly drowning our hero, who, although he has now mastered talking while lying down, has not yet moved on to 'knots and how to untie them.' He was only saved by the supreme heroism of Sir Alex Ferguson who ordered a passing tea-lady to give Rooney a hand with his pipe. She was only too willing having heard of our star's great ability on a wet pitch.
Later, Ferguson said, I don't want to rush the boy back into action and I asked him how he felt about Montenegro. He said colour didn't faze him and he'd mount anyting in skirts. I know these injuries have been niggling away for a while but he bravely kept going, be it probing for an opening at the back or making a determined push up front, until he was drained. I want to make sure I treat him right and look after him because for a while the boy has not been doing himself justice. This sentiment was echoed by personal trainer Jennifer 'Juicy Jen' Thompson who has been handling 13 other premiership players, the stars of several TV shows,  five Boy Bands and a Bank Robber.  Fergie added, I offered to let him play against Sunderland and told him I would pull him off at half time, but he refused saying he would probably be too knackered to appreciate it.
This is Rooney's first competitive match since his triumph over a fat old slag in a Scouse shell suit emporium in 2004. His early promise was spotted when as a 12 year old he was dreaming of one on one confrontations with local professionals in the effluent Liverpool suburb of his birth.
Meanwhile, Mrs Whine, the fragrant Coleen, was reported to have been visiting Lourdes. This was a misheard quote from the lady herself. She was in fact at Lords, where rumour had it that hubby Whine was sha coaching the England Ladies cricket team. Sounds good. He has always been a fat fuc an all round sportsman.

READING BETWEEN THE LINES!

Tommyfield Market traders will strike on Saturday in protest at their treatment after the new street market launch. The few stall holders who remain behind the market hall on the original outdoor site say they are being ignored by the council.
 A nameless spokesperson for the Council department responsible for issuing bullshit and lies, said. "This is all bullshit and lies, the area behind the market hall is now earmarked for a specialist market with removable stalls."                                                                                          

"We have exciting new plans for this area."  Yeah we know, we've seen them. Weirdest market layout we've ever seen. "Ah that's because you don't understand town planning," says the N.S. "This is a very ergomaniac design to enable stallholders to reach their stalls easily."  "Any resemblance to a car park is purely coincidental."  "But..... if on non-market days any motorists wanted to park on this area they are welcome to do so for almost no charge." "To this end we will put up pay and display ticket machines just on the off chance." We hear that this wonderful facility is being provided at no cost to the council, just a little adjustment on the Council Tax. At the right we see an artist's impression of how the new site will look on a busy market day. We have just learned that rents for the new stalls will be £1 for the first 40 minutes, then 60p for each 15 minutes thereafter. Stall rents will be collected by the Council's new partner in this exciting venture NCP. The same nameless one declared, "I think it stands for Not a Car Park."

THE ROCKIN' 'ORSE IS IN THE LEAD!

An internationally-acclaimed show which uses jelly beans to bring the world of statistics to life and compare the brainpower of different organisms was launched at Gallery Wulfe today.

“If brains were dynamite” is an exhibition by the Katin'batta Ethiopian take away and Theatre Company.

Visitors, when or if, they arrive are presented with a jelly bean to represent their brainpower and are then invited to compare that single gobbet of jelly to the tonnes  of confectionery, of all colours, which is the brainpower of everyone else in the UK.

Each day a team of performers will be carefully chewing over different statistics.

The exhibition will tell a local story:  it's a fairy story but what the hell. It will allow visitors to compare their jelly bean to the Ferrero Rochers of other parts of the UK.

Councillor Kay Knox  (recently downgraded from a Midget Gem), said: “This is a truly unique and tasty exhibition which will cause inflation around my arse and is made especially for Oldham with local ingredients.

“This show will probably go down very well especially among the greedy bastards my colleagues on the council. We are also inviting visitors to bring in their own sweeties (Howie and I like to indulge in a nice liquorice whip when we are alone, she hinted). They will also be encouraged to make their own suggestions for statistics (chocolate willies not allowed) and see them weighed out and added to the menu exhibition.”




 The show runs Monday to Saturday from 10am to 5pm and on Sundays from 10am to 4pm until September 28.
At the conclusion of the show all proceeds will go to local councillors council charities. The exhibition will then be dismantled and eaten by Councillor Sykes on the Town hall steps at Saturday mid-day. (Contingent on reinforcement work being completed on his waistband)

OF COURSE I TRUST YOU........BUT!

Copied to-day from Captain Ranty, with thanks. Because everyone should be made aware of what's afoot!

HMRC To Take ALL Your Money
And then decide how much/how little to send on to your bank account.

In a move that stinks of totalitarianism, fascism, and pure cuntishness, HMRC have said that they need to take it all. All of it. Your whole salary. Naturally, no mistakes will be made. Everyone will be dealt with fairly and disputes will be swiftly resolved.
We wish.
They will make mistakes. They will retain the whole salary from some people as the computer, when asked, "Can we send Mr Jones any money this month?", will simply say "No". The dispute will take months to resolve, and in the meantime? No food for your family, no bills get paid, the leccy gets switched off, so now you will freeze or starve to death, whichever comes sooner. All because HMRC had a brainfart.

Thaddeus J. Wilson gives us more details over at Anna's place. I strongly urge you to read it all, then tell everyone you know. Just to be sure, tell everyone you don't know as well.

This shit has to be stopped right now.

Here you go:

'It’s been a while since there has been a story in the press that left me with my jaw so far down that it hurt. But today, I believe, we are firmly back in the deranged world of government gone completely insane:'

"HM Revenue and Customs could take direct control of every worker’s monthly pay cheque under plans to overhaul the error-prone income tax system.
Instead of employers deducting income tax then paying gross salaries to employees, the gross monthly payment would go to an HMRC-run tax “calculator”, which would then pass the net salary to the worker.
The reform would mean the end of traditional monthly payslips, because employers would no longer be able to tell workers how much tax they had paid each month."

The immediate thought that comes to mind is: what do we do when (and not if!) this all goes wrong? What happens when, as will inevitably happen, HMRC makes a balls up and takes your whole month’s salary? Who will you fight with? Without a payslip, how do you budget for the forthcoming month, especially if you are on highly variable wages? What about people with all sorts of different sources of income? How will this “help” them? What about people who have valid reasons for submitting an annual return to claw money back?
Inevitably, this kind of glorious “lateral thinking” is a result of the many failings of the people in HMRC. Why is the long-suffering taxpayer being exposed to this extraordinary risk? It’s not like the government exactly has a fantastic track record when it comes to grandiose computer systems.
I’m going to do something that I don’t generally do, because I’m not as erudite at campaigning as Anna: I’m going to ask you to spread the word about this as far as you can; I’m going to ask you to write to your useless MP and complain in the strongest possible terms about this insane idea; write to your local newspaper, tell all your friends and do everything you can think of to stop this insane idea from becoming reality.
Because although Anna is a wonderful campaigner, I don’t think there’s enough of her to go around to save each and every one of us!
UPDATE: I am generally loathe to update articles, especially if they have only just been published, but I feel that this information may be of great value to 1.4 million taxpayers:

"The first batch of 45,000 letters demanding cash to be repaid will start to arrive on Tuesday – with the rest sent out over the next four months.
But accountants said recipients should act swiftly to use a little-known loophole which forces HM Revenue and Customs to abandon ‘out of the blue’ demands and effectively write off the money.
They also insisted many of those affected are entitled to argue that they or their employer have done nothing wrong and should not be penalised for someone else’s blunder.
Enough is enough. It is time to starve these incompetent thieves of our hard-earned money!"

I've been saying this for over a year. They need to starved of our cash. Their addiction to our money has them by the throat. It will only get worse if we allow the addiction to run unchecked. The only cure is cold turkey.
If it sits better with you, call it a "public service".
CR.

ONCE AGAIN: DON'T SAY YOU WEREN'T WARNED!

LET'S BE 'AVIN THOSE GLASSES THEN!

Oldham takes ninth spot in booze league of shame!

According to 'academics' from Liverpool University, Oldham is among the top 10 hardest-drinking areas in the country. ('Owd on a minnit! What the fuck has this to do with Scouse demics aca or not. Have they nowt else to fill their lives with?)
'Stato' Higgins, our averages encrusted director of pubic health, says, 'Reducing levels of harmful drinking in Oldham is a high priority for us. Us meaning Him.
 An instant remedy would be to brick-up both ends of Yorkshire Streeet. This would dramatically improve our figures and seeing as most of the bother causing piss heads who cause trouble in the town centre at weekends are from neighbouring towns, they would have to stay home thus making their midden rise in the league table.
Unfortunately for us Stato has a plan, nay, an alcohol strategy , no less. Which means he wants to stick his nose into yet more of your business in order to justify his. He is going to offer support to people who regularly attend hospital due to alcohol problems. Excellent, just what staggering drunks need, support. Compared with the NE and NW of England, the East and Southeast  had the fewest problems. Could it be because they have a vast array of leisure facilities providing a varied and entertaining level of interest. This is at the opposite end of the spectrum to places 'oop north' like our own delightful Borough where the only entertainment at the myriad booze fuelling stations, is provided by the proprietors stuffing as much booze down your throat in as short a time as possible whilst assaulting you with the ear splitting blast of what the con artists providing it, call music. Stato and your fuckwad friends in the concrete pillock box, quite simply people drink too much in this town for one simple reason. THERE IS FUCK ALL ELSE TO DO!  Stop looking for excuses for the corporate fuck up in this town. Provide some leisure facilities!
...And nearly finally Dr Ruth Hussey, regional director of public health and busybodying said: 'We are once again reminded of the terrible burden the abuse of alcohol causes residents of the North West.
...And finally, Eddy Skinfull, reasonable drinker of anything going said: 'We are once again reminded of the terrible brain freeze the nannying by Dr Rude Hussy and Stato Higgins causes to topers of the North West. 

FROM STOKE IS OLDHAM UP, DOWN, OR THE LAST RESORT???

 Did you see this latest piece of nose rubbing in the shit, news?  The town is fucking skint. Services being cut left right and centre. Does anyone know what an assistant executive director for strategic projects and investment, with responsibility for property assets and development, actually does? Apart, that is, from drawing a huge salary. (Anyone from the Council going to let on how much he's on?). Why do we need yet another wunderkind added to the already top heavy bureaucracy of this band of chancers. Surely we have enough managers and directors to sort out the job, without wasting yet more of OUR money. I eagerly await the news that we were lucky to get someone of Darren's calibre and experience and that if we want the best man for the job, we must pay for it. Why is he leaving Stoke? Is he a mate of Charlie's?  Maybe we could hear something about his long and meritorious service and his many achievements as Development Director at Stoke-on Trent since January 2009. Not so long ago Stoke was named as one of the worst places to live in the country. Might we know Darren's contribution to the problem?  Memo to Fat Bastard Sykes and all his talentless cronies. WE ARE FUCKING SKINT!!  The creaking noise you hear is belts being tightened all across the borough. Apart that is from Sykes himself who's never tightened a belt in his life. He has the look of someone who has spent his whole parasitic life letting out his belt at our expense. Services are being cut back. Amenities closed. Nothing is being replaced. WE have sod all. Why don't you try getting along without all these jobsworths? Get the useless fuckers in the Tower Of Babble up off their lazy fat arses and MANAGE.