TARDUS, INFERUS, FRIGIDUS!!!

Have you seen all the crap about this town's contributions to the 'Londonistan' Olympics??

Apparently we have something called the  "Olympic Legacy Project,'  which has been hailed as “trailblazing” by the London Games organising committee, who of course have been nowhere near the desolate dump..


This unelected band of chair polishers and non-entities, call themselves, 'The One Future Group.' There is nothing like a catchy name to inspire folks - and this IS nothing like a catchy name.  They claim to be about to improve the lives of Oldhamers by securing sporting, social and economic benefit across the borough. This is the same borough that has just announced the closure of four sports venues to be replaced by two venues, half the size.


We are told that - " the current contract of Oldham Community Leisure (OCL), which runs the borough’s sports and leisure facilities on behalf of the council, expires in one years time. This will prompt a shrinking leisure stock to accommodate the future operating contract" — can anyone explain this non sequitur ? Does this mean that the tossers at OCL are to be allowed to fuck over all our sports facilities for the remaining three and a half years 'til the town finally closes for good? What will the future operating contract cover? When were OCL awarded it? Did it go out to tender? What will it cover, the one remaining seven metre 'Olympic Style' pool, a wall you can kick a ball against and of course the All Weather Synchronised Swimming Hole  Centre and water polo field at Churchill Fields  The Ken Hulme Memorial Lido!

 We are told that the total value of Oldham’s Olympic contracts is £3.6 million. What contracts are these? Would someone like to enlighten us as to what we have contracted for?  What benefits can we expect to receive? If there were net profits of 20% on the total this would amount to about £3.47½p each. What would you spend yours on Folks? It wouldn't even buy a cinema ticket, if we had a fucking cinema, that is!


 Oldham has already hosted a leg of the Halfords Tour Series cycling races in June last year, which was watched by 300,000 people on TV and boosted the local economy by £250,000. Aaah, that's part of the legacy is it?  How many legatees in Oldham dusted off their Claude Butlers and oiled their Choppers to join that jamboree?


Now! The news you have all been waiting for! Prepare yourselves for this!! Handball has been adopted as a legacy sport in schools and community groups across Oldham. Well..Whoop..de...fucking whoop!!  Not one of the traditional Oldham sports, Footy, Rugby, Cricket, Athletics maybe! Oh no! Fecking Hand fecking Ball!   A game  game, do me a fucking favour  played indoors by nerdy little pricks while they twitter like twats on their Twatfones. You can probably play it in MacDonalds while waiting for the acne ridden pillock to reheat your mystery-burger.


It gets better - The scheme has already attracted support from high-profile local names, including Manchester United’s Paul Scholes, presenter John Stapleton and “Coronation Street” actress Shobna Gulati. Well at least Scholes has run about a bit, as for the other two -  a yapper and a slapper! Trust Oldham to produce role models about as far removed from the role as it is possible to get.


Group vice chairman John Townsend, (who he?), said: “The project has been going for 12 months and it’s good to reflect on our achievements to date and count our allowances. . I’m sure that London 2012 fever will gather pace when the torch travels through Oldham on Sunday, June 24.”
 It would be more of an achievement if a stray spark from the torch set the Civic Centre afire and the blaze spread to all the worthless schemes dreamt up by the tossers inside. 


Read the timetables, the agendas, the programmes - there is nowt coming to the town. It's another smoke and mirrors job by you know who, to divert our attention from the dire circumstances we find ourselves in. It's a pity we won't have the Metrostink running. We could all haul ass down to Manchester - at least they have some genuine Olympic events planned. 

The end is approaching rapidly!!!!!!!!!!