GET SHORTY!

Euphemisms???  Aren't they them curly brass musical instruments?

 

Two more applications to turn town-centre shops on Union Street  into restaurants have been called euphemisms for yet more take aways. 

With questions already being raised over the number of late-night fast-food outlets in the town, the applications to turn two shops in Union Street, into restaurants caused Coun 'Diddy  Dave' Hibbert to raise questions over their intentions to be yet more take-aways to enhance 'shutter town.'

Why now???  Why is the tiny fucking evil elf suddenly rearing up on his little legs and ranting about this???  We've been complaining about the number of money laundering filthy food outlets permitted in the town by him and his bent cronies for the past fifteen years at least. Has he, Have they, listened?? Have they fuck!

What's changed is Metro-Shite The living dead in the Council Chamber can't wait to get their sticky little mitts on the money from the great white elephant. If all we have are take-aways, pound stores and pawnbrokers, who the fuck is going to want to visit the land of the fallen shutter? IF...fucking IF??  When, is the relevant question and the answer is - very fucking shortly!!!  No visitors = no money!

 The vertically challenged noisy little twat,  said: “I hope these applications aren’t just euphemisms for yet more take aways."

Euphemisms??? Euphemisms??? The fucking planning applications tell you what is intended - fucking take-aways!  You're on the fucking Council for fuck's sake do you not read or understand planning applications in the the fucking Chamber of Horrors???   Oh...sorry! Stupid question!

The Tiny-Tot continues, “There is nothing wrong with take aways, but too many of them are clustered and are shut all-day long." And who allowed them to be clustered then tiny? Who wouldn't refuse a planning application because of the extra moolah rates it brought in??? YOU, YOU LITTLE SHORT STROKE!!


The fucking goblin said, “We want people to be going into proper restaurants and cafes during the day.  We want a bustling town centre, not a shanty town between two rush hours.”

People going into 'proper restaurants and cafes'??  What fucking people?? Which people in this town have the means to be popping in and out of 'proper restaurants' each and every day?? What fucking idiot would open a 'proper restaurant' in Oldham??   Perhaps he means all those people who will be arriving when  if the Metro-shite ever labours up the hill from Manchester, ready to be immersed in the Oldham shopping experience. Ready to snap up the BOGOF bargains at Pound Universe, pawn the family silver or simply to stare in wonder at the brown paper window displays.

"We want a bustling town centre"??? Well why the fuck have you let it get into the state it's in now??
Why did you sit idly by for years while the parts of the town that you hadn't killed off with your ideological shit-brained schemes, died a slow death?? Why did you rip the heart out of this once prosperous town??? 

You say you don't want a shanty town. Well that is exactly what we have become on our way to becoming a ghost town. As for rush hours, the only rushing in this town is to get out of the place, waving goodbye as we do so, to the myriad take-away 'operatives' stood peering out through the windows of empty botulism  factories all night long.

Shut the fuck up short arse! You did fuck all when you had the chance it's too fucking late now!
Contrary to your belief  YOU ARE NOT THE ANSWER - YOU ARE THE PROBLEM!! Shut your yapping trap and fuck off!!!! 

DHAKA REFUSES TO TWIN WITH OLDHAM - TOO DIRTY THEY CLAIM!

How much more humiliation are we going to have heaped upon us????

 First we have national coverage of the shite strewn about the streets of Clarksfield by the indigent  indolent inhabitants. So! what does our local 'Council Of All The Arseholes' say about the matter?  'We cannot expect our streets to be kept clean as they have no money for the task and people should keep their own streets clean.'


NOW! Fucking NOW!!! We have a visit from a bunch of God bothering tambourine bashing missionaries from a Trafford based  'World Mission Society Church.'  Eighty of the buggers turned up and proceeded to clear up all the shite strewn on the streets of Clarksfield by you know who.

 

So how has it come to this?  Well, we all know why the useless twats on the Council turn a blind eye to the practices. There's no votes in antagonising your potential voters and as a fifth of the Council is made up of the buggers we are pissing against the wind trying to improve matters.  So for the rest of us, it's carry on suffering.  It's time we stopped kowtowing to the immigrant influx to whom shite is a way of life. This is not Bangladesh so don't bring your filthy habits here. If you don't like it - you know where the airport is!

 

For the benefit of all the incomers in this town:-

We are heartily sick of all the shite you strew about the streets!

We are pissed off at all the wheelie bins you leave out on streets all the time because you are too fucking idle to get off your benefit laden arses and move them!

We have had enough of the piss soaked mattresses dumped in every fucking alleyway!

 

Unlike you, the unwashed horde,  WE  don't appreciate the street art of broken refrigerators, smashed up wardrobes, filthy stinking carpets,  cooking utensils and stoves.

 

Neither are we tempted by the mouthwatering piles of rice and unknown other items you discard in the neighbourhood. Although we must say the local rat populations seem to thrive on it. If you saw what they did at home none of you would ever eat a takeaway again.

 

We are not impressed when OUR wheelie bins are stolen to replace ones you destroyed in all sorts of nefarious acts. Nor do we appreciate OUR wheelie bins being used by you filthies to dispose of your excess stinking shite when you have filled yours.

Unlike the sub-continent standing at your front door and pissing in the street is not encouraged in this country

 

Unlike Dhaka we don't like you creeping around at night dumping, outside our homes,  all the crap from the home destruction projects you seem to love, like adding another five bedrooms to a two up two down.

 

When forced to live next door to you we are not entertained by the constant shouting, playing of loud music  screeching noises and the continuous pounding up and down stairs on bare floors. Get some fucking carpets for fucks sake!!!

 

 Labour councillors claim the tough financial position the council finds itself in does not allow the luxury of employing staff to clear up after residents — who should keep their own streets clean.

Coun Lynne Topspin reported Kelverlow, Goss Hall and Ronald and Eric streets as major hotspots.
The missionary force took matters into their own hands and headed to those streets. Around 50 bin bags were packed full of rubbish in three hours. Did you read that??  50 Bin bags filled with shite off the streets of Clarksfield  in 3 hours!!


 Delighted residents praised the volunteers on the good deed and invited them to “come round more often.”  I BET THEY FUCKING DID!!!  Now the indolent fuckers know they only have to chuck their crap in the street and a bunch of missionaries will turn up and shift their shite for them..

The clean-up comes at a time when complaints have been made about cuts to Oldham Council’s street-cleaning teams.


Council leader Little Jimmy Pudden-Face, blasted residents for not taking responsibility. He said: “Some constituents expect us to start picking up after them. They think we should start with areas where residents don’t look after their own streets." NO we don't Little Jimmy, you should start somewhere you are really needed, say the Elysian fields of Saddleworth, you gormless twat!

A GORMLESS TWAT!!

Coun Jean Stretchmark said there had been a slight increase in litter in certain hotspots of the borough. Slight - FUCKING SLIGHT????  Those certain hotspots tend to be those with dense residential properties for obvious reasons. One of the reasons being half the Indian sub-continent living there. This as opposed to the Council Chamber which is packed with dense Know-nowts only concerned with preserving their voter base.


 Why is it that despite collecting higher and higher levels of Council Tax we never have any cash to spare for what at one time were essential services?  More and more services are being hived off to private parasites  companies to run as we don't seem able to produce staff to do what was once achieved by a minute fraction of the desk polishers we have now. Local government pension payments cream off a goodly portion of our hard earned and we all know that the upper tiers of bloated council officers is costing us dearly. It's time all these time-servers from Charlie 'what a good buy he was' Chuckles downward through the myriad levels of management were pared down to the bone. Then, maybe, we would have enough money to pay for services that we once took for granted, but are now classed as luxuries, to be re-instated

WHAT NEXT???  COMING SHORTLY TO A STREET NEAR YOU!!!!

 WHEN ARE WE GOING TO SAY - 'ENOUGH IS ENOUGH'?