ONE MORE CRACK LIKE THAT ...... AND I'M OFF !!

Word has it that we may have to share Chief Executive Charlie 'Turd' Parker with neighbouring  disaster area Rochdale. If that is the case, can we have this bit please. We wouldn't want to miss any of his wit and repartee!

TELL THEM ...... NO !!

OLDHAM COUNCIL!! ....YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS!! ...ARE YOU PROUD OF YOUR HANDIWORK??

This, as any connoisseur of decay, neglect and official vandalism can tell you, is The Old Town hall, slap bang in the middle of Oldham. That it is in it's present woeful state is entirely down to the biggest shit-heap of wastrels, trough stompers and generally fucking useless wankers ever to have graced sullied the office of Councillors in this town! Not content with filling the sightless eyes of the old lady with pictures of glory long past, the useless twats have now hung self aggrandising political fucking banners on her.
A pasty faced know-nowt of a twat by the name of Elaine McLean, one of the gorgon sisterhood recruited by the mong 'Turd' Parker, has now been instructed to smack our hands and legs for daring to suggest the political banner was a political banner. She writes, and we reprint her letter to the OEC in full:

What a fucking pile of arse-licking condescending fuck-wittery this is! Let us look at some of the stupid bitch's words of  propagandist crap.
1.  Oldham is a borough which needs to work hard to attract  shopping, leisure and business investment in difficult economic times. Please explain in twenty-thousand words or less, what! exactly WHAT!  the fucking talentless, clueless bastards have done, are doing or will do, to attract anything! Talk, talk, talk, most of it about how brilliant they all are, that's all we get.  Look at the council mug-shots of our finest. What do you see? Vacancy signs. No-one at home. So stupid you wonder how they manage to find their way home after claiming their allowances. If the collective 'brain' of OMBC were a magnet it wouldn't attract an iron-filing.

2.  The banner which has recently been placed on the old Town hall is not 'political propaganda.'  Of course it isn't. It's a message of love and joy from our beloved leaders telling us how lucky we are to have them leading us ever onward and upward. In other words it's  fucking  po-fucking-litical  propa-fucking-ganda. I hope the self-opinionated pillocks have taken note of recent events in the Middle-East and specifically the fate of those who set themselves up as beloved leaders.

3.  ...Our borough will soon have easy commuter access and hundreds of quality affordable homes.   Aye, you'll soon be able to access all those places that are anywhere but the dilapidated, no hope dump that the twats have allowed this once pleasant town to become. Who is able to afford all these 'affordable homes'? The thousands on unemployment benefit, job-seekers allowance, incapacity benefit, the thousands of young 'NEETS.' The only group able to afford them will be those with large families who know every trick in the book about sucking from the state tit.

4.  It already has great schools and colleges and a beautiful natural environment.  A third of school leavers are unable to read and write. We have an offshoot of a polytechnic selling degrees in made-upology to gullible youngsters who think a degree in 'nail technology' or 'meeja studies' is a golden key to unlock a glittering future. 
...a beautiful natural environment?? What the FUCK??? Has the stupid fucking bint never been out and about in this demi-paradise we call home town Oldham??  The town has an aura of desolation and dilapidation.  It is the slough of despond. Ignore the siren calls from the fat bastard Sykes and his cohorts of yes-men. Metrolink is not the answer. It is not even the right question. Why should the introduction of an ill thought out scheme suddenly regenerate the dump? The effect will probably be just the opposite as it will facilitate an outward flow to our more prosperous neighbours.   

en·vi·ron·ment

[en-vahy-ruhn-muhnt] - noun

 
(i) The social and cultural forces that shape the life of a person or a population  (ii)  an indoor or outdoorsetting that is characterized by the presence of environmental art.

Social and cultural forces eh?  Yorkshire Street, Town Hall, leisure facilities, quality shops and markets, sports facilities, sports teams carrying the town's name, town planning, affordable and deliverable council services.
Environmental art?  The whistling Piss-stone perhaps?  The invisible clock? The wooden windows in the old Town hall?

 At this time let's take a look at the bonny fucker spouting all this party political shite.
There you go. Fucking impressed eh? Still she must have impressed our 'Turd'  Perhaps she has hidden talents. As far as we can see they are bloody well hidden. Maybe'Turd' called and said he needed a job doing so she gave him a hand

Anyhow, back to business as the actress said....

5.  ...as well as having seven green flag parks.   Holy shit! seven green flag parks eh? Sure beats having cinemas, restaurants, bowling alleys, skating rinks, concert halls, decent sports facilities etc., etc., etc. Verily our cup overfloweth.


6.  Oldham is also 25% national park and 40% green belt. It's also 75% derelict, dilapidated, deserted, boarded-up, half-demolished neglected and vandalised slum.

7.  We have a well trained and committed workforce. And possibly two or three of them will still be here after we've done slashing the numbers. Slashing the workforce is the best all round option as it means the jobs of all our spongers, brown-nosers, jobsworths, unmanagers, placemen, councillors, hangers-on, paper-shufflers and useless wankers are safe.

Leave the workforce alone. It's the pillocks at the top who should be committed. For life preferably.

8.  ..easy access to the motorway network and Manchester Airport. For those eager to flee the fucking flea-pit of a town.

9.  ...we need to attract the employers of the future.  Explain exactly what OMBC are actively doing to attract these ' employers.' The whole fucking bunch haven't an idea between them. If they were shite they couldn't attract flies.

10.  ..we need to promote the borough as a place to invest, visit and live. HAH!  Does the dough faced one invest in, visit, apart from her sinecure in the Tower Of  Babble, or indeed LIVE in the town?

11.  The banner on the old Town Hall makes the building more visually attractive. WHAT!!! You seriously fucked-up, shite spouting, gormless twat!  You really think that heaping yet more indignity on the old building has made it more visually attractive. You need help!

OK I've had an idea. Let's make you more visually attractive you ugly, pasty-faced, condescending fucking bitch.
There we go and that's not 'political propaganda.' But it WILL brighten up the natural environment.
Finally

12. ...what we need to do right now. What YOU need to do is fuck off back to that other dump, Stockport. We hear there's a vacancy for a village idiot.

 REMEMBER JUST SAY...... NO !!