FOLLOW ME I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!!

Take a sharp knife - Make deep incision, on arm or leg, say - pour in four ounces of cooking salt - rub vigorously!!

This is pretty fucking cynical from a 'supposedly' local newspaper. One that never uttered a word against the vandalism, perpetrated by the duplicitous knob-heads on OMBC, as they systematically closed out our once 'world famous' Tommyfield Market.

Perhaps we should all take out subscriptions to the 'Chesterfield Advertiser' and ask them if they would be prepared to cover important, (to us), matters in Oldham.

There should be plenty in it for them - Just think of all the photos they could sell!




FORTHCOMING READER'S TRIPS......

 Day trip to Sheffield to see a working Tram System.....Includes nostalgic meal at a genuine English 'Chippy.'


Visit to a world renowned paper mill..... Half day trip.  See the brown 'window display' paper for Town Centre stores being made.


Local trip....Half day to Greenfield...Stand on the bridge and watch trains passing...Memories of yesteryear.


Science museum...Full day ... See all kinds of intricate working machines from such famous names as Ferranti, Platt Bros,Bradbury Motorcycles....Learn the history of these famous marques and where they were manufactured.


The Trafford Centre ... Full day trip- on arrival in the morning watch the free car parking in operation. Lunch in the 'Orient' where they serve actual food.  Following an afternoon spent browsing the myriad stores,(all open), why not pass a pleasant evening at the Cinema, the Bowling Alley or one of the local Restaurants....So many NEW things to see and do in one day!


Warrington...Half day ..Visit one of the town's numerous industrial estates...Bring your outline planning maps of the Alexandra Retail Park to visualise our brave new world. In the evening the trip will be split into two with Roughyed's supporters enjoying a night at St, Helens  RLFC's Langtree Park whilst Latic's supporters will visit Moston Playing fields where FC United have plans for their new stadium on display.


Blackpool ...Full Day ... A visit full of fresh air and good fun...Visit the Ex-Pats in the "Little Oldham" enclave of Cleveleys - Listen as they tell of the hardships they suffer....After a traditional Oldham meal of Lamb Bhuna  with Jeera Rice  it's off to Madame Tussaud's waxworks. They have just opened a new exhibit - 'Oldham Council Meeting' ...People who have seen it say it is beyond lifelike - some even said it showed more life than the original.


Mystery Tour - Oldham ...Join us as we take a nostalgic trip along the highways and byways of old Oldham Town. See the ancient pot-holes - gaze in wonder at the eternal road-works - marvel at the intricate diversions and one way systems as your driver attempts to avoid the thousands of colorful signs dotted around the town ...take a thrill ride down the by-pass viewing the ever changing scenery as we pass through Supermarket car-parks and filling stations.....Full Day (or maybe longer), bring sandwiches.


Local Curiosities ...  Join us on this extended tour as we visit some of Oldham's stranger sights ...See the St. Jeremy Fountain in Sutcliffe Place - still spouting years after everyone thought it had dried up - The Fitzpatrick-Battye Rumour Mill where complex political ideas were forged - The tallest Mosque in Oldham...fully eight feet taller than you expected - Littletown....birthplace of local hero and short order cook Coun 'Diddy Dave' Hibbert - The Shaw cricket ground where Coun Allcock was no-balled. - The steps of the Old Town Hall ...where many in the past promised to perform but few if any did. - The derelict curved land once home of the derelict curved warehouse. - Finally your driver will reverse up to the new youth club in the town centre. Plus many more.....Could take forever.......  

   

HAVE YOU NOT NOTICED - WE ARE ALL BEING TAKEN FOR A RIDE!!!

URINE EXTRACTED PAINLESSLY!

THEY ARE DEFINITELY TAKING THE PISS!!!!

COMING SHORTLY:

 Day trip to Borough Treasurer's Office. Watch as your council tax is stacked up before being shoveled into the bottomless pit of the Local Government  Pension Scheme or once a month see it vanish into the greedy paws of the money sponges on the Council. Last chance to bid farewell to a beloved friend!

AS ONE DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER SHUTS!

Here we go again!

 Video game retailer 'Game" has gone bust! Every local outlet of this large chain is to close. Yet more brown paper windows in Spindles! Yet more people on the dole! 276 stores to close immediately 2,104 more unemployed. This will leave 333 stores still open and employing 2814 workers. Wanna bet how long they will last?


Yet another nail in the Spindles coffin.  Or perhaps an opportunity for some astute entrepreneur to step in and open a brand new, much needed, Jewellery Store/ Pawnbrokers / Pound Cosmos.


It won't take much to topple the whole house of cards, especially if another important cornerstone, such as Debenhams were to pull out.


Do the elected cock-polishers in the Tower of Babble care?  It appears not. They are obsessed with massaging their egos and pay checks with grandiose pie-in-the-sky plans for the outlying districts (only the Lie-bour held ones of course). Have you noticed the abandonment of the much vaunted 'belt- tightening' budgets with painful cuts and  huge savings?  Remember last year's talk of 'over 400 redundancies in the new year?

Any of it come to pass yet? Nope! Do you think it will? With elections coming up!!! Not a fucking chance! What do we get almost every day? New initiatives - proposed new deals with developers - consultations  nonsultations with  locals to see what they would like, as opposed to what they are going to get, which is nowt. We are following the PFI path to destruction well worn by that criminal fucktard, the one-eyed snot gobbler, Gordon 'where has he disappeared to' Brown. Evey PFI 'initiative' ends up as a millstone around our necks as we struggle for years to pay some outside rip-off artists for providing services we should be capable of providing a lot cheaper. PFI's exist because we have no money to provide these services, so we in effect borrow cash from these 'saviours' at usurious rates of interest. The providers get rich and we sink further into the shite!


Since the start of the year,  Little Jimmy Pudden-Face's band of creeps, misfits and downright barm-pots have done nothing but promise us everything we desire. We're gonna 'spend, spend, spend,' they tell us. No they're not, not, not.  They have no cash, cash, cash!  After the election you will discover the value of Lie-bour promises!


Never mind! We've got the arrival of Metro-Shite to look forward to.   I think - 'Appen -Haven't we?
We've had a reet good idea about that. Seeing as how the 'Richard Knowless Memorial Line,' to Mumps is virtually complete, why don't we say fuck-it to the branch line along Union Street through 'Chicken City?' We could throw up a bridge at Mumps and run trains all the way from Manchester to Rochdale. Mind you, we'd have to scrat about a bit to get back all the bits of Mumps station sold off by the muppets in the great clearance swindle  sale. We could stick the lines back down the Werneth Tunnels, thus freeing up a valuable green-field site on the Manchester Street roundabout. We could possibly erect a 'bijou' sports centre there with a 5Metre Olympic Style' pool and a table tennis table.




PS  Ruffyed says it would have been easier and cheaper to have concreted over the original track, bought several hundred Sinclair C5's,  (ask yer grand-dad), and let everybody do their own thing!
As for recharging them - they could have used Little Jimmy's EV emporium and charging station at Hollinwood.........but that's another story!

If you vote for the fucking wastrels again in May you will have only yourselves to blame for the hurt that's a-coming!

GIVE THEM A HINT WE DON"T LIKE THEM - - -FUCK 'EM OFF!!!! 

TARDUS, INFERUS, FRIGIDUS!!!

Have you seen all the crap about this town's contributions to the 'Londonistan' Olympics??

Apparently we have something called the  "Olympic Legacy Project,'  which has been hailed as “trailblazing” by the London Games organising committee, who of course have been nowhere near the desolate dump..


This unelected band of chair polishers and non-entities, call themselves, 'The One Future Group.' There is nothing like a catchy name to inspire folks - and this IS nothing like a catchy name.  They claim to be about to improve the lives of Oldhamers by securing sporting, social and economic benefit across the borough. This is the same borough that has just announced the closure of four sports venues to be replaced by two venues, half the size.


We are told that - " the current contract of Oldham Community Leisure (OCL), which runs the borough’s sports and leisure facilities on behalf of the council, expires in one years time. This will prompt a shrinking leisure stock to accommodate the future operating contract" — can anyone explain this non sequitur ? Does this mean that the tossers at OCL are to be allowed to fuck over all our sports facilities for the remaining three and a half years 'til the town finally closes for good? What will the future operating contract cover? When were OCL awarded it? Did it go out to tender? What will it cover, the one remaining seven metre 'Olympic Style' pool, a wall you can kick a ball against and of course the All Weather Synchronised Swimming Hole  Centre and water polo field at Churchill Fields  The Ken Hulme Memorial Lido!

 We are told that the total value of Oldham’s Olympic contracts is £3.6 million. What contracts are these? Would someone like to enlighten us as to what we have contracted for?  What benefits can we expect to receive? If there were net profits of 20% on the total this would amount to about £3.47½p each. What would you spend yours on Folks? It wouldn't even buy a cinema ticket, if we had a fucking cinema, that is!


 Oldham has already hosted a leg of the Halfords Tour Series cycling races in June last year, which was watched by 300,000 people on TV and boosted the local economy by £250,000. Aaah, that's part of the legacy is it?  How many legatees in Oldham dusted off their Claude Butlers and oiled their Choppers to join that jamboree?


Now! The news you have all been waiting for! Prepare yourselves for this!! Handball has been adopted as a legacy sport in schools and community groups across Oldham. Well..Whoop..de...fucking whoop!!  Not one of the traditional Oldham sports, Footy, Rugby, Cricket, Athletics maybe! Oh no! Fecking Hand fecking Ball!   A game  game, do me a fucking favour  played indoors by nerdy little pricks while they twitter like twats on their Twatfones. You can probably play it in MacDonalds while waiting for the acne ridden pillock to reheat your mystery-burger.


It gets better - The scheme has already attracted support from high-profile local names, including Manchester United’s Paul Scholes, presenter John Stapleton and “Coronation Street” actress Shobna Gulati. Well at least Scholes has run about a bit, as for the other two -  a yapper and a slapper! Trust Oldham to produce role models about as far removed from the role as it is possible to get.


Group vice chairman John Townsend, (who he?), said: “The project has been going for 12 months and it’s good to reflect on our achievements to date and count our allowances. . I’m sure that London 2012 fever will gather pace when the torch travels through Oldham on Sunday, June 24.”
 It would be more of an achievement if a stray spark from the torch set the Civic Centre afire and the blaze spread to all the worthless schemes dreamt up by the tossers inside. 


Read the timetables, the agendas, the programmes - there is nowt coming to the town. It's another smoke and mirrors job by you know who, to divert our attention from the dire circumstances we find ourselves in. It's a pity we won't have the Metrostink running. We could all haul ass down to Manchester - at least they have some genuine Olympic events planned. 

The end is approaching rapidly!!!!!!!!!!

GET SHORTY!

Euphemisms???  Aren't they them curly brass musical instruments?

 

Two more applications to turn town-centre shops on Union Street  into restaurants have been called euphemisms for yet more take aways. 

With questions already being raised over the number of late-night fast-food outlets in the town, the applications to turn two shops in Union Street, into restaurants caused Coun 'Diddy  Dave' Hibbert to raise questions over their intentions to be yet more take-aways to enhance 'shutter town.'

Why now???  Why is the tiny fucking evil elf suddenly rearing up on his little legs and ranting about this???  We've been complaining about the number of money laundering filthy food outlets permitted in the town by him and his bent cronies for the past fifteen years at least. Has he, Have they, listened?? Have they fuck!

What's changed is Metro-Shite The living dead in the Council Chamber can't wait to get their sticky little mitts on the money from the great white elephant. If all we have are take-aways, pound stores and pawnbrokers, who the fuck is going to want to visit the land of the fallen shutter? IF...fucking IF??  When, is the relevant question and the answer is - very fucking shortly!!!  No visitors = no money!

 The vertically challenged noisy little twat,  said: “I hope these applications aren’t just euphemisms for yet more take aways."

Euphemisms??? Euphemisms??? The fucking planning applications tell you what is intended - fucking take-aways!  You're on the fucking Council for fuck's sake do you not read or understand planning applications in the the fucking Chamber of Horrors???   Oh...sorry! Stupid question!

The Tiny-Tot continues, “There is nothing wrong with take aways, but too many of them are clustered and are shut all-day long." And who allowed them to be clustered then tiny? Who wouldn't refuse a planning application because of the extra moolah rates it brought in??? YOU, YOU LITTLE SHORT STROKE!!


The fucking goblin said, “We want people to be going into proper restaurants and cafes during the day.  We want a bustling town centre, not a shanty town between two rush hours.”

People going into 'proper restaurants and cafes'??  What fucking people?? Which people in this town have the means to be popping in and out of 'proper restaurants' each and every day?? What fucking idiot would open a 'proper restaurant' in Oldham??   Perhaps he means all those people who will be arriving when  if the Metro-shite ever labours up the hill from Manchester, ready to be immersed in the Oldham shopping experience. Ready to snap up the BOGOF bargains at Pound Universe, pawn the family silver or simply to stare in wonder at the brown paper window displays.

"We want a bustling town centre"??? Well why the fuck have you let it get into the state it's in now??
Why did you sit idly by for years while the parts of the town that you hadn't killed off with your ideological shit-brained schemes, died a slow death?? Why did you rip the heart out of this once prosperous town??? 

You say you don't want a shanty town. Well that is exactly what we have become on our way to becoming a ghost town. As for rush hours, the only rushing in this town is to get out of the place, waving goodbye as we do so, to the myriad take-away 'operatives' stood peering out through the windows of empty botulism  factories all night long.

Shut the fuck up short arse! You did fuck all when you had the chance it's too fucking late now!
Contrary to your belief  YOU ARE NOT THE ANSWER - YOU ARE THE PROBLEM!! Shut your yapping trap and fuck off!!!! 

DHAKA REFUSES TO TWIN WITH OLDHAM - TOO DIRTY THEY CLAIM!

How much more humiliation are we going to have heaped upon us????

 First we have national coverage of the shite strewn about the streets of Clarksfield by the indigent  indolent inhabitants. So! what does our local 'Council Of All The Arseholes' say about the matter?  'We cannot expect our streets to be kept clean as they have no money for the task and people should keep their own streets clean.'


NOW! Fucking NOW!!! We have a visit from a bunch of God bothering tambourine bashing missionaries from a Trafford based  'World Mission Society Church.'  Eighty of the buggers turned up and proceeded to clear up all the shite strewn on the streets of Clarksfield by you know who.

 

So how has it come to this?  Well, we all know why the useless twats on the Council turn a blind eye to the practices. There's no votes in antagonising your potential voters and as a fifth of the Council is made up of the buggers we are pissing against the wind trying to improve matters.  So for the rest of us, it's carry on suffering.  It's time we stopped kowtowing to the immigrant influx to whom shite is a way of life. This is not Bangladesh so don't bring your filthy habits here. If you don't like it - you know where the airport is!

 

For the benefit of all the incomers in this town:-

We are heartily sick of all the shite you strew about the streets!

We are pissed off at all the wheelie bins you leave out on streets all the time because you are too fucking idle to get off your benefit laden arses and move them!

We have had enough of the piss soaked mattresses dumped in every fucking alleyway!

 

Unlike you, the unwashed horde,  WE  don't appreciate the street art of broken refrigerators, smashed up wardrobes, filthy stinking carpets,  cooking utensils and stoves.

 

Neither are we tempted by the mouthwatering piles of rice and unknown other items you discard in the neighbourhood. Although we must say the local rat populations seem to thrive on it. If you saw what they did at home none of you would ever eat a takeaway again.

 

We are not impressed when OUR wheelie bins are stolen to replace ones you destroyed in all sorts of nefarious acts. Nor do we appreciate OUR wheelie bins being used by you filthies to dispose of your excess stinking shite when you have filled yours.

Unlike the sub-continent standing at your front door and pissing in the street is not encouraged in this country

 

Unlike Dhaka we don't like you creeping around at night dumping, outside our homes,  all the crap from the home destruction projects you seem to love, like adding another five bedrooms to a two up two down.

 

When forced to live next door to you we are not entertained by the constant shouting, playing of loud music  screeching noises and the continuous pounding up and down stairs on bare floors. Get some fucking carpets for fucks sake!!!

 

 Labour councillors claim the tough financial position the council finds itself in does not allow the luxury of employing staff to clear up after residents — who should keep their own streets clean.

Coun Lynne Topspin reported Kelverlow, Goss Hall and Ronald and Eric streets as major hotspots.
The missionary force took matters into their own hands and headed to those streets. Around 50 bin bags were packed full of rubbish in three hours. Did you read that??  50 Bin bags filled with shite off the streets of Clarksfield  in 3 hours!!


 Delighted residents praised the volunteers on the good deed and invited them to “come round more often.”  I BET THEY FUCKING DID!!!  Now the indolent fuckers know they only have to chuck their crap in the street and a bunch of missionaries will turn up and shift their shite for them..

The clean-up comes at a time when complaints have been made about cuts to Oldham Council’s street-cleaning teams.


Council leader Little Jimmy Pudden-Face, blasted residents for not taking responsibility. He said: “Some constituents expect us to start picking up after them. They think we should start with areas where residents don’t look after their own streets." NO we don't Little Jimmy, you should start somewhere you are really needed, say the Elysian fields of Saddleworth, you gormless twat!

A GORMLESS TWAT!!

Coun Jean Stretchmark said there had been a slight increase in litter in certain hotspots of the borough. Slight - FUCKING SLIGHT????  Those certain hotspots tend to be those with dense residential properties for obvious reasons. One of the reasons being half the Indian sub-continent living there. This as opposed to the Council Chamber which is packed with dense Know-nowts only concerned with preserving their voter base.


 Why is it that despite collecting higher and higher levels of Council Tax we never have any cash to spare for what at one time were essential services?  More and more services are being hived off to private parasites  companies to run as we don't seem able to produce staff to do what was once achieved by a minute fraction of the desk polishers we have now. Local government pension payments cream off a goodly portion of our hard earned and we all know that the upper tiers of bloated council officers is costing us dearly. It's time all these time-servers from Charlie 'what a good buy he was' Chuckles downward through the myriad levels of management were pared down to the bone. Then, maybe, we would have enough money to pay for services that we once took for granted, but are now classed as luxuries, to be re-instated

WHAT NEXT???  COMING SHORTLY TO A STREET NEAR YOU!!!!

 WHEN ARE WE GOING TO SAY - 'ENOUGH IS ENOUGH'?

NESSUN DORMA - ESPECIALLY THEM AS LIVE IN CARLTON WAY!!!

Bugger Me!!! Cried the Wulfe as he espied the headlines in the local Lie-bour Party Chronicle. - 'Elton John, Rod Stewart & Noel Gallagher to star at Boundary Park.'

Rod will obviously become skipper of the team leading us to glory as he opens his legs and dazzles us with his ball skills. Noel will bring an oasis of calm and gentility to the midfield unless Liam signs for someone like ....er Accrington  Stanley say -  and war breaks out over who has the better left foot. As for Elton, dear old Elton! He would be a rock in defense, taking the youngsters in hand and plugging any openings at the back.


Crowds would flock back - Latics would have enough money to sign almost anyone they wanted on loan. With their new-found show business connections they could consider putting on pop-concerts at the Broadway Bowl. Any of those three could surely fix us up with a few 'turns'. they could even put on a show themselves, what about it? Three tenners that should cover it!

+ +LATEST + + ++ + FORTHCOMING ATTRACTIONS + +

MAY 19th  'ANNE ZIEGLER AND WEBSTER BOOTH'

Perennial favourites - GET DOWN & DIRTY!!!

JUNE23rd  'APESHIT'

THE Monkees tribute band!

JULY 28th  ' RUBY MURRAY'

Named in honour of Oldham's favourite meal!

OLD TOM ON DRAUGHT

BERT ON THE KEYS 

 BE EARLY!

JEUX À TRAVERS LA FRONTIÈRE

JOBS ON OFFER, (What they??) -  AT NEW LEISURE CENTRE, (What that??)

'Oldham Community Leisure,' who are the organisation to blame  responsible for running sports centres in Oldham have announced they are set to link up with 'Link4Life' a similar, but Oh so different, organisation responsible for the same services in neighbouring Rochdale.

OCL say the partnership would lead to cheaper prices and increased facilities across the two towns. The one problem with this is that all the sports facilities are in Rochdale, with new ones about to open this year. Sports facilities in Oldham, having been neglected for years, are being closed indiscriminately to satisfy the cronyism rife among our dear councillors. 

 On Saturday 'Link4Life' will be hosting a jobs fair in Rochdale to recruit staff for the planned NEW Rochdale Leisure Centre' opening later this year. They are recruiting duty officers, lifeguards, leisure attendants,swimming teachers, fitness instructors and assistants and receptionists. Fuck me! Get in there quick if you're qualified. If you are waiting for similar posts to become available in Oldham. Hah! Tubby Sykes will have exploded and Fibber Hibbert will have shrunk to a white dwarf before then.(Mind you Diddy Dave Hasn't really all that far to go. Has he?)

Since 2007, Link4Life has been responsible for delivering a £34million investment programme for Rochdale sports and leisure. This programme includes Heywood Sports Village and Middleton Arena. Opening in June this year is Rochdale Leisure Centre. Costing  £10.8 million, the centre will comprise swimming pools, a sports hall, fitness and dance studios and a thermal suite.

That is almost £45million invested in sports and leisure in Rochdale over the last four years.

What have we to crow about in Oldham? Well, nearly all the goalposts on council football pitches received a super new coat of emulsion and changing facilities were given a good coat of looking at.  It looks like we are may be getting a new swimming pool, (in Royton), but three others are closing to pay for it. Mind you, we still have the open air swimming pool at Churchill Playing Fields. We have sports pitches, receiving the barest minimum upkeep,  with the most primitive, if any, changing facilities. Our two professional sports clubs play in slums. What a great advert for the town.  ORLFC,(The Roughyeds), gave up their ground at Watersheddings, (where it used be good, to see 'em feight for t'ball in t'mud), on the promise of being rehomed. Instead Battye et al, simply stole it. Where are they now?? A fucking allotment in Limeside!!

Where has this £45million come from?  Where is our £45million?  How come Rochdale have this go -ahead organisation Link4Life running their sports and leisure facilities while we have the moribund tossers OCL running ours, (into the ground that is!).  Trust the clueless fuckers on Oldham Council to back the wrong horse. Nearly every fucking service that this council should be providing and running has been handed over to parasitic fucking failures. Fuck knows how much extra all this abrogation of responsibility and authority is costing US!

YOU! The sixty planks of wood in that goddamned ugly tower, daydreaming OUR lives away while awaiting YOUR allowance payments. WAKE UP YOU USELESS TWATS!!!!!!  The modern world is fast disappearing into the distance whilst we slide unresistingly back into the swamp. Do your jobs run this town properly or fuck the fuck off!!!!

OCL --- OLDHAM COMES LAST!!!

IT'S WHERE THE ORANGES COME FROM. NO! NOT TESCO'S YOU THICK PILLOCK!!

Seville goes green

Based on a report -'Eco-tourism in Spain'  06 January 2012 | By Brendan Sainsbury, Lonely Planet

 This Spanish city has bidden adios to the organized urban chaos found in so many cities and embraced a more sustainable outlook.

 Kick-started by proactive city mayor, Alfredo Sánchez Monteseirín in 2007, the lightning pace of Seville’s “greening” defies its laidback fiesta and siesta image. In the span of just five years the Sevillanos have instituted: a community bike-sharing scheme, a surface tram, an underground metro, two high-speed train links, a pilot electric car programme and -- 20km away in Sanlúcar la Mayor -- the first commercial solar power plant in Europe.

Strewth!! All that shit in just five years! That's not playing fair, is it? What have we got in the last five years?  Rid of our trains, rid of our stations, rid of our bridge, rid of our market, rid of our warehouse, rid of most of the shops in the town, rid of our swimming pools and libraries, rid (almost) of our old Town Hall, rid of most of Derker, rid of every leisure amenity, rid of Yorkshire Street as a venue for decent folk, rid of a sane garbage collection routine, rid of hope that a tram will ever rumble up Union Street. We also got rid of Fill Woolyarse so it's not all bad news, then! 

The inauguration of Seville’s bike-sharing scheme in April 2007 was something of a godsend, even for avowed car users. It was the second bike-sharing initiative in Spain--and it is the fifth largest scheme of its kind in Europe, with 2,500 bikes on offer. Grab a two-wheeled machine from any of the 250 docking stations and you will quickly discover that cycling suits this flat, balmy metropolis. Unlike Oldham the barmy metropolis, full of hills and potholes. Cyclists have been known to vanish without trace in some of these potholes which are more like caves really. A trial bike -sharing scheme was tried a short while ago in the town but failed due to renters not returning bikes to the allotted docking stations. Most were found parked in e-bay, Cash Converters and 'arry's scrap yard!

Seville has 120km of  bike lanes and the first 30 minutes of usage are free. Beyond that, it is one euro for the first hour and two euros an hour thereafter. Oldham has 35 yards of bike lanes and the first 5 seconds of usage are nearly free. Beyond that it is four quid for the first hour or per part of per hour and eight quid an hour or per part of per hour thereafter.

Cycling down Seville's Avenida de la Constitución, inhaling the aroma of ripe oranges, will bring you within a wheel’s width of museum-queuers, horses and carts, and attractive señoritas in red-and-white polka-dot dresses -- but no cars. Central Seville’s main arterial roads were pedestrianised in 2007 to make way for a new tram system, the MetroCentro.   Cycling down  Oldham's Union Street or Avenida de la Pollo Frito, inhaling the aroma of stale cooking oil and burnt chicken nuggets, (which part of a chicken does the 'nugget' come from?), will bring you within a gnats bollock of Job Seekers, drunken arseholes and peroxide slags with faces like a slater's nail bag, wearing dirty anoraks -- but also -no cars. Nearly every street in Oldham became traffic free when they were all dug up to make way for a new tram system, the Metroshite. This failure dogged piece of crap may or may not arrive within the NEXT five years, but don't hold your breath. TfGM or The fucking Great Mistake plan to continue fucking the whole town over once they've managed to drag all the dead trams off the streets of Manchester and the five year old kid designs another operating system.

Seville's original tram-line -- a modest 1.4km in length -- was extended in 2011 to incorporate an extra 1.1km. The introduction of revolutionary new battery-powered technology meant that ugly overhead cables have been dismantled. Now the plan is to extend the tramline as far as Santa Justa, Seville’s main railway station, where new high-speed trains head off to Madrid, Cádiz and (by 2013) Granada.

Oldham's ongoing saga of the tramlines continues. At present all those involved are trying to bring the line to Mumps where a perfectly good station was demolished to allow a station to be built. In two thousand and plenty they are going to dig it all up again to drag it along Union Street. A new station will have to be built at Mumps cos the line is pissing off in a different direction. Are you following all this? If we were getting battery powered trams they could be recharged at Little Jimmy Pudden-Face's proposed electric vehicle charging station at Hollinwood. Just think of the leisure time we would have waiting for a charge. You couldn't rely on buying replacement batteries. The shops are always closed just when you need one. So what we are getting?  Ugly overhead cables! Our pride and joy will take us to Victoria, one of Manchester's railway backwaters, where slow speed trains head off to Wigan, Blackburn and Darwen, and by 2025 one will have reached Leeds via Rochdale.

In Seville there is a tram stop right outside the majestic Gothic cathedral. The tram also connects with the bus station  and the new subterranean Metro.   In Oldham there will be a tram stop right outside the nissen-hut like Sainsbury's. Our tram, unfortunately, will not connect with any of Oldham's fifteen assorted bus stations as they are all on Cheapside, up a five hundred foot sheer cliff face.  
A lot of the trams will stop outside Failsworth,  Hollinwood or any other of the myriad stops en route. This is not planned, it is called a breakdown. When this occurs the whole town will come to a standstill. Outsiders will notice no difference.

In Seville you could consider hiring an electric car to get around. Renault chose Seville as the city to launch its three new zero-emission models in October 2011, and ultimately these vehicles and others will be able to make use of 75 battery-recharging points that are being built around the city as part of a government-sponsored plan to boost electric car use.In Oldham you could lash out thousands on an overpriced 'lectric car and run down to Hollinwood if you need a boost. (That's when and if any of this pie-in-the-sky ever becomes reality.

Finding parking remains a perennial problem in both towns and here we have several things in common.  Seville has built on many of its traditional car parks, most recently in March 2011 with the daring, ultra-modern Metropol Parasol in the Plaza de la Encarnación, which harbours a museum, a market, a restaurant, a plaza and a panoramic walkway. Professing to be an architectural icon in a liveable city core, this giant structure, purported to be the largest wood structure in the world, is best described as a forest of mushrooms welded onto a flying waffle . Oldham has taken a slightly different approach and built, where we used to have interesting buildings, many daring, ultra-modern car parks, harbouring pay-and-display ticket machines, traffic wardens and panoramic views of the Tower of Babble. These have been constructed by the biggest wooden structure in Oldham, namely our local Councillors, who are known to be as intelligent as mushrooms and full of waffle.

Oh!  We nearly forgot. We are getting MAHDLO though!!!!

If the thick mushrooms were in control of this town for fifty years they still couldn't come up with anything like these plans!

If there is anyone still out there!!!    HELP!!!!

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Many consumers in the dark about dangers of CFL bulbs

This article appeared in a US newspaper earlier this month. We reproduce it in full for your 'enjoyment.'  Highlights are ours - For America and Congress. - Read Westminster and BRUSSELS!! 



Published - Jan 04 2012 10:37PM EST
Kirk Myers, Seminole County Environmental News Examiner

The is the first in a multi-part series of articles exposing the lies and misinformation behind legislation mandating the replacement of incandescent light bulbs with potentially unsafe compact florescent light (CFL) bulbs.


Most consumers by now are aware of a federal law mandating the phased transition from incandescent light bulbs to controversial mercury-activated compact florescent light (CFL) bulbs, starting this year.


According to provisions of legislation passed by congress in 2007, the 100-watt incandescent bulb was to be off the shelves this January, followed by a phase-out of the 75-watt version in January 2013 and the 60- and 40-watt versions in January 2014. But last month congress granted consumers a reprieve by including in its spending bill a measure delaying enforcement of the ban until the end of the 2012.
Mercury – a deadly neurotoxin
From the time it was first proposed, the ban has run into opposition from consumers who are understandably concerned about outfitting their home light fixtures with bulbs containing, on average, 5 milligrams of mercury, enough to contaminate 6,000 gallons of water. Mercury is one of the most deadly neurotoxins on the planet.

According to Wattsworks.com , “Breaking a single CFL bulb in a room can result in mercury vapor levels 300 times in excess of what the Environmental Protection Agency has established as safe for prolonged exposure. Serious health effects are associated with mercury exposure. Unborn and young children, elderly and those with weakened health are particularly vulnerable.”


The EPA continues to downplay safety concerns, but recommends consumers  follow these safety precautions if a bulb is broken :

Open a window and ventilate the area for 15 minutes Avoid vacuuming the area (to prevent the spread of mercury dust) Use cardboard, not a broom, to sweep up the remains of the bulb While wearing rubber globes use a wet paper towel to wipe the area Seal the contents in a jar with a lid or plastic bag for disposal “If clothing or bedding materials come into direct contact with broken glass or mercury-containing powders from inside the bulb that may stick to the fabric, the clothing or bedding should be thrown away.”

The EPA claims the amount of mercury in a single bulb is not enough to create a health hazard. But according to test data released in December 2010 by Germany’s Federal Environment Agency (UBA), mercury levels from broken CFLs were 20 times higher than regulations allow in the surrounding air for up to five hours after breakage.


The American Thinker reports : "Based on a new method to measure mercury from broken CFLs, the New Jersey Department of Environmental Protection reports that only one-third of the mercury release occurs during the first 8 hours after breakage. During the following two-week period, 17 percent to 40 percent of the mercury is released into the air."


In a report last March, Fox News exposed the potentially dangerous health hazards of mercury-laced CFL bulbs:


“Mercury . . . is a potent, developmental neurotoxin that can damage the brain, liver, kidneys and central nervous system. Infants and young children are particularly vulnerable to mercury’s toxic effects. Even at low levels, mercury is capable of causing a number of health problems including impaired motor functioning, cognitive ability and emotional problems. Higher or prolonged exposure can result in much more serious health problems.”


Mercury Instruments , a Littleton, Colo., firm that specializes in removing mercury contamination, states the following on its Web site:


“If you break a "CFL" Compact Fluorescent light bulb and attempt to clean it up yourself, there is absolutely no way to know that you have removed the mercury unless you screen the area with a mercury vapor monitor . . . Without the proper equipment, you will never be able to locate where the mercury came to rest.”


Concerned about mercury contamination, many environmental agencies have adopted strict regulations for the disposal and recycling of CFLs . In California, Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, Ohio and Wisconsin, it is illegal to improperly dispose of fluorescent bulbs in trash or landfills. Consumers face stiff fines if they violate the law.


Investigate Magazine says this about broken CFLs: “The real cost is not one broken light bulb, but how badly affected homes will be after 20 years of amateur attempts to clean up one of the deadliest neurotoxins on the planet.”
Mercury vapors – another health hazard?
Toxic mercury from broken bulbs might not be the only danger posed by CFL lamps. During tests last year at Berlin's Ala Laboratory, scientists discovered that various carcinogenic chemicals and toxins, including phenol, naphthalene and styrene, are released when CFLs  are switched on.
Environmental experts in Britain have downplayed the findings, insisting that CFLs are not a danger to the public and that more studies are needed to back up the German research.


But Peter Braun, who carried out the tests at the lab, claims that CFL lamps emit poisonous vapors when turned on and “should not be used in unventilated areas and definitely not in the proximity of the head.”


This report comes on the heels of research by Israel’s Haifa University suggesting that the CFL’s bluer light emissions, which closely mimic daylight, might interfere with the production of the hormone melatonin, contributing to higher rates of breast cancer.


In addition, the Migraine Action Association is warning that CFLs could trigger migraine headaches, “and skin care specialists have claimed that their intense light could exacerbate a range of existing skin problems,” according to a report in London’s Daily Telegraph .

 Consumer anger

Many consumers are fuming over what they see as government meddling and are stocking up on incandescent light bulbs before the ban goes into effect. Judging from the pointed buyer comments on Amazon.com, the legislators who voted for the ban might want to update their resumes.


“You can pry my 100 watt incandescent from my cold dead hand (apologies to Charlton Heston),” says Dukesuxheelrule. “Only a liberal green weenie would replace a perfectly safe tool of illumination with a much more expensive, lower quality, and highly hazardous product.”


Jeddy3 chimes in: “Every time the do-gooder nanny state shoves something down our throat "for our own good," you can bet it'll be found later that it wasn't safer/better after all. If it were better, safer, or more economical, it wouldn't be necessary to legislate its competition out of business.”


Another incensed buyer bashes the Green movement and defends freedom of choice:
“They [the incandescent bulbs] work well, shine bright, and - best of all - make me feel constantly proud to be screwing the eco-nazis,” said ahtimsa1970. “Screw you, Al Gore! Keep your hands off my thermostat, light bulbs and recycling bins. I worked hard for my money; I'll spend it however I choose.”


During a recent appearance on Fox News, Marc Marano, the founder of the online Web site Climate Depot , described the ban as an assault on consumer choice carried out by global warming alarmists and their allies on Capitol Hill.

“The only reason we’re talking about incandescent bulbs is because of fears of global warming. They’re trying . . . to control every aspect of our lives.”

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!