I DON'T LIKE THE PRODUCT. .... but I have a huge photo collection of the containers!

 Former  leader of the council Fat Bastard Sykes, believes Oldham has been made a national “laughing stock” after a woman was told she couldn’t breastfeed her child in the civic centre.
FB, now leader of the opposition, believes the council’s handling of the issue , was too little too late.
He said: “Nobody told me about this until too late, I'm big enough to handle any issue no matter from where it emanates. Oldham is once again a sucker for bad news."
“Some of us have spent lots of time and effort to change people’s perceptions of Oldham over the last few years. This has made us look like we are back in the dark ages.”  What exactly do you mean, by 'back' your immensity?  Did we miss the age of enlightenment in the town by some slippage of time? As for the town being made 'A laughing stock', how can this be possible? Does one hear folk cackling mirthfully when the name of the town crops up? Most people we've met hold their head in their hands, groaning and wailing like lost souls when  the "Village of The Damned' is mentioned. Maybe, just maybe, there is a remote community, Africa or Polynesia perhaps where this news would be greeted with ribald laughter. It's possible as this latest 'good news' from the Rotten Borough was broadcast halfway round the world. As though we haven't got enough millstones around our necks!
Exhibitionist Emma Mitchell (32), from Shaw, was outraged at being told to go to the Spindles and Town Square shopping centre to feed her baby, Aaron, after being told the council’s headquarters was a “multicultural centre”. And here's us thinking it was A Civic Centre, the council's HQ and allowances distribution centre.
Under UK law, mothers can breastfeed in public whatever the baby’s age. Our 'little baby' was forty this year. I'm going to see if I can get him and his dear Mama up to the Civic Centre sometime soon for light refreshments. It may be a little difficult as she would have to unfasten her belt to get at the feeding implements. But, hey-ho life is not always a bowl of cherries.
The story has since been broadcast by national and international newspapers and TV. Just what we needed, more good news!
OMBC are implementing measures for the future. Leader of the council, Counc Jimmy 'Pudden-Face' McMahon told the meeting that the incident was a “cock-up”. N-o-o-o, Little Jim, the cock-up is what necessitated the pause that refreshes. This was more of a 'bust up' if you ask us Puddy.
He said:  “What we do is  employ people and trust them to get on with their job in the most appropriate way — making sure the policies are in place and training is provided.”

Little Jimmy baby, more bad news: The policies are NOT in place and the training like most things involving trains in Oldham has been scrapped.
In protest at the Council's actions a group of young mothers staged a 'feed in' at the Civic centre. This further enhanced the image of Oldham in the eyes of the world. Does anyone know of a City, Town or Village anywhere in the known world that has managed to fuck up so many things in so short a time with so much attendant publicity? 
Later, an un-named council employee, Mr Harry Oller said, "I haven't seen so many tits in the civic Centre since the Lib-Dems ran the place."

BLOGGER ME!! .... What makes Oldham sick - -sorry tick?

Hackers, believed to be recently employed by the News Of The World have managed to get behind the facade of our leader Jim Pudden Face's so called blog. We shall gleefully publish the real thoughts of the Red Muppet as he attempts to string us along with this latest attempt at trying to be 'one of us'. 

Before we publish his secret ramblings there are a couple of questions we need him to answer.


 1. Is he thinking up and writing all the tosh we have seen so far, in his own time, or, as usual, are we paying through the nose for a jumped up wanker of a nobody to swan around at our expense?

2. Why is he using the old Oldham coat of Arms on his 'Blogsite'?? 

We quote from the official Oldham Council Website:

Oldham Metropolitan Borough Coat of Arms

"The Mayoralty of Oldham is the only office approved to use the Borough’s Coat of Arms.'

Is little Jimmy P also the secret Mayor of the Rotten Borough ? Is Dick Knowless just a front, (well yes we know he is a cottage front, but that is a subject for future blogs). Has he got ideas above his station?? Oh sorry! Forgot we have no stations.
So we would like to remind the jumped up little allowance gobbler exactly what his Coat of Arms looks like.

YEP! That's right it's the same piece of shite the rest of us have to put up with after you and your fellow escapees from the Barmpot ward, paid a bunch of Scam Artists £100,000 of OUR money for this intricate design. Seriously folks do you think this piece of juvenile crap is worth 100 grand of our money? This equates to the council tax from 100 homes!  But, what the hell! The town is thriving, all is rosy. We have full employment. The town centre is a bustling hub of commerce. We are spoiled by the abundance of leisure facilities and amenities. We can travel to all parts of the globe on a whim. Aye, on a whim maybe but not on a fucking train since you and the other feebles cut us off from the world. So Jimmy baby, this is your and our symbol of the dynamic borough. Use the turquoise Polo Mint, Jimmy, we have to. By the way have you noticed it's similarity to a big fat ZERO! Quite apt for a town that has virtually fuck all left.

Blog The First

    Welcome aboard all you lovely tax cows, suckers and gluttons for punishment sensible Lie-bour voters, who voted for Me...Me...Me our glorious party in the local election. To know that 21% of the electorate is right behind you is a comforting thought. I shall do my utmost to rip you off  justify my huge allowances and will be making as many savings as possible. Here you see me, in front of my that Coat Of Arms again, making a start as I cut up previous leader, Fat Bastard Syke's 'vinegar strokes' loyalty card from Shaw Chippy.  In the short time he was in this, MY rightful office, the fat cunt managed to accumulate 368,000 points. Enough for 247 full fish suppers (with unlimited peas) or free chips for the next 12 years and unfettered use of the salt and vinegar. WELL!! he's not going to get them. I've seen to that. At a time when ordinary residents are struggling to pay their Council Tax and Bailiffs charges, not to mention other household bills, I think it sends out the wrong message for an elected Fat Bastard Politician to have this facility. It was a 'no-brainer' for me, Jimmy No-Brain. Another part of our new approach, entitled, 'Our new Approach' began on Monday. We took the Cabinet out of the Civic Centre, but none of the second hand furniture dealers would give us more than 2 quid  so we dumped it in a back alley in Allcock's (by name not nature), ward. We met for the first time outside The Tower Of Babble and approved plans to re-open Limecroft Day Centre in the building itself. I didn't tell the rest of the morons Cabinet my plans but I intend to make it a secure facility and have already ear-marked some of the cells tastefully decorated suites for the non-believers who were present.
If you have any questions, topics or comments you would like me to cover in future blogs, forget it! This is My blog, MINE and I'll write what the fuck I want and you lot can go fiddle with yourselves.

Thanks for being talked at:

Little Jimmy Pudden-Face

IT'S ACTUALLY AN OPTICAL ILLUSION MADAM .... Oldham is flatter than Norfolk in parts.

 

First pictures of the new "Whisk-A Tomic" integrated public transport system. Designed to move shoppers quickly between the Town Centre Car Park at Cannon Street and the Town Centre at the.....errr! Town Centre.  Responding to criticism that Cannon Street is hardly the Town Centre, a Council spokesbody  said, "It all depends on what you mean by Town Centre, we, in infrastructure forecasting, foreclosing and urban degeneration consider 'Town Centre' to be a fluid concept."  (Yeah and you've flushed the whole shooting match down the shitter. ed)




They thought long and hard. They burned the midnight oil up in that monument to Soviet Concretism, The Tower of Babble. Half an idea was refined and polished over many hours of allowance gathering. Until, at last there was unanimity among the bunch of nincompoops, they would let little Jimmy Pudden Face have his own way, (mainly we think to stop him stamping his feet and holding his breath 'til he looked like a boiled pudden.). And what plan did the masters of the universe come up with for the Cannon Street site? A drive thro M&S? The world's largest chip shop? A multi-storey skating rink?  An after-school club for pre-school infants and lippy teenagers who can't even write their own name?  A Playboy Bunny Club?  Nope, none of these folks! One dim spark of a Council chair polisher thought it might be a good spot to build a new stadium for Latics, until it was pointed out to him that the plot was only half the required length. He wasn't easily dissuaded  pointing out the savings to be made if they just built half a pitch and had both sides play toward the same end with goalkeepers swapping position depending on the colour of shirt approaching.  But no! Our erected representatives are made of sterner stuff. So what long awaited delight are we to savour?  What boon to the hard pressed folk of this burg has been unveiled? Wait for it folks.....Wait for it!!!! Are you ready?  OK we've kept you in suspense far too long here it comes!!! (Loud fanfare from the massed trumpet of the OMBC official 'Blow your own trumpet band') 

A NEW town-centre car park has opened on the site of the former Cannon Street Health Centre.

Well, piss-my-pants!!!!!  Just the fuck what we needed!!!
Did you notice the deliberate mistake in that headline? That's right our numb-bollocked pile of arsewipes think Cannon Street is in the Town Centre. It isn't. The town centre is up a 'gentle incline' that just happens to be the steepest hill in that part of the mountains. It's also, a two raincoats and an umbrella and still pissed through, distance from the Town Centre in the rainy season (June).  It probably feels a lot farther when the weather is really bad in the Oldham winter (July to May).

The oxygen wasting bastards said they hope the site, along with adjoining assets, will attract redevelopment of the area bounded by Cannon Street, Manchester Street and Oldham Way, including the former Sainsbury’s site. Oh, WOW!!! That could almost quadruple the number of parking spaces while at the same time pushing the southern boundary of our car parking First Reich operation ever closer to our goal of integration with the Manchester City Council Shudehill (Northern) Expansion Scheme. This plan envisages a continuous linear car park from Old Trafford to half-way up Standedge Cutting. This say the experts will ensure that no-one will be able to complain, 'there's nowhere to park".
Exciting future plans were revealed when it was disclosed that if just two more stores in Spingles close their doors, we can demolish the lot along with all of Yorkshire Street, (apart that is from the Old Town Hall which is being mooted as a pay station for the new extended car park) We should be able to accommodate thousands of cars when we get that lot sorted out. A few tons of tarmac and them gyppos will have us in the money in no time. People will come from miles around to park and watch the empty trams trundle past. (Oh, happy day @ £1.40 per hour)

Counc Diddy Dave Hibbert, cabinet member for Arseing, Traipsing and Degeneration, said: “These
proposals are a real boost for all the parties who are working together to help regenerate our town centre.
Explain exactly, Diddy, how this wets the panties of the know-nowt achieve-nowt denizens of the dark underbelly of  this fly-blown excuse for civilisation? What exactly is it supposed to do for us, the poor bastards mugged by you and your congenital defects on OMBC. Why the fuck should we be dancing orgasmically in the streets? What the fuck is there left in Oldham town centre to come and park for? But don't you worry you simple tosser. The town is dying around your idea-less arseing about and all you mongs can think about is 'Another fucking car park.' Are you completely fucking barmy????????

Two beauties to end with, from the Diddy dave book of quotes for single celled organisms.

“No one wants to see a derelict building in the town centre fall into disrepair and become an eyesore." 

WHAT!!!!! Listen you fuckwad. take a walk into what is left of Oldham town centre. Walk up to the Memorial To Our Glorious Dead (It's next to the Greaves Arms if you've never been), salute those gallant citizens of this town, who gave their lives, that we may live in this squalor. Then turn around 180 degrees and LOOK AT THE FUCKING SHIT HEAP YOU HAVE ALLOWED OUR TOWN HALL TO BECOME,  YOU PARASITIC MONEY SPONGING WASTE OF SPERM!!!!!!

“The creation of the new car park will also mean there are more spaces for motorists to use when they are coming into the town centre to shop or work.”

SHOP??? Where the fuck at?? Everywhere is closing down you stupid twat! You've STOLEN our market! The only bastards employing anyone in the town centre would seem to be our local dishonourable MPs judging by the amounts being claimed for running constituency offices, and you fucking lot with your myriad managers who can't manage, executives who need executing and hangers-on who need fucking well hanging.
Anyhow, never mind Diddy baby something will probably turn up and save us, eh?

A word of warning though: If you think you see a light at the end of the tunnel - Run like fuck - It's an oncoming train!!

ARE ANY OF YOU BEGINNING TO REALISE IT YET? ....YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID ....NO !!

IS THIS COMPANY RUN BY EX OLDHAM COUNCILLORS? - Or are they just run of the mill crooks?

OLDHAM Council is taking further legal action against Royton Assembly Hall’s owners Whispers Developments after they failed to attend talks yesterday over its future.
Council leader Jim Madman  had previously arranged talks on June 15 and they didn't turn up then either.
He said: “The continued lack of a meaningful response from Whispers is evidence that they are either indifferent as to the blight the hall is having on the community or simply not competent enough to sort it. Either way, our patience has run out." From Jim Bob!  Not competent enough to sort it? Indifferent to the blight etc.? TEN FUCKING YEARS this has been going on you cocksucker!!!  Look in the freaking mirror you fucking moron. Ten years you and your accomplices on West Street have let this drag on. Not your fault is it Jimmy Boy?? No it never is!!!!

Pudden face then continued, "Today I have instructed officers to begin court proceedings against the developer and they should be under no illusions as to our resolve in bringing this saga to an end."  “This matter is a priority and we will not budge from that stance.”   "Well, 'appen a bit, but not a lot mind."

Oh no, gawd 'elp us! Which officers has he instructed one wonders in dread anticipation? Surely not the all conquering 'Vance Miller' crew?  That local treasure the Borough Solicitor, perhaps. If he isn't suffering repetitive strain injury from all the road works/closures/diversions he's been signing off lately. You would think OMBC would be very wary of pursuing anyone into court especially as their fingers are still blistered. By the way anyone heard anything further on how much the tossers let us in for over the Miller fiasco?  

Councillor Stephen Gushforth said: “The failure of Whispers to turn up for this meeting is an insult to the people of Royton. Oh, so the behaviour of OMBC  and the Royton Councillors over the last ten years of inaction isn't an insult to the people of Royton?

“On numerous occasions over the years Whispers have repeatedly ignored our pleas to sit round a table and discuss the hall’s future.”  They also ignored the courts and haven't paid the last fine imposed on them, which with costs now amounts to £6,700, so they are not likely to be trembling in their boots at not meeting Jim Bob and the pussies posse from hell. Mind you that's not the only thing Whispers has failed to do!


WHISPERS DEVELOPMENTS (UK) LTD

51 JULIA STREET

MANCHESTER

M3 1LN

Develop & sell real estate

Buying & sell own real estate

Companies House Details

Companies House Number: 04850027

Incorporation Date: 29 Jul 2003

Latest set of accounts: Filed on: 16 Jun 07
Made up to: 31 Jul 05
Last company return showing the directors and ownership details: Filed on: 10 Dec 2010

Made up to: 29 Jul 2010

Financial Year End31-07

Capital: £1.00 (as at 10 Dec 2010)

Accounts Overdue(as of 10 Jul 2011)

35 Company Documents Available

24 May 2011	DISS16(SOAS) - Compulsory strike off suspended
15 Mar 2011	GAZ1 - First notification of strike-off action in London Gazette (Section 652)
11 Dec 2010	DISS40 - Notice of striking-off action discontinued
10 Dec 2010	AR01 - Annual Return of company information (NOT ACCOUNTS)
23 Nov 2010	GAZ1 - First notification of strike-off action in London Gazette (Section 652)

 


Previous Company Names

UK SITE DEVELOPMENTS LTD Changed 19 Aug 2009

WHISPERS DEVELOPMENTS (UK) LIMITED Changed 06 Aug 2009

Charges / mortgages against this Company

CLOSE BROTHERS LIMITED THIRD PARTY LEGAL CHARGE - OUTSTANDING on 05 Feb 2009

CLYDESDALE BANK PLC DEBENTURE - OUTSTANDING on 02 Mar 2006

CLYDESDALE BANK PUBLIC LIMITED COMPANY LEGAL MORTGAGE - OUTSTANDING on 06 Jan 2006

Information last updated: 10 Jul 2011

PS    Don't forget to check the seven day countdown clock in the right sidebar to see the lightning fast response team  from OMBC in action inaction.

IT REALLY IS TIME WE PUT A STOP TO ALL THIS NONSENSE .... TELL THEM ....NO !!

IN 60 MILLION YEARS SCIENTISTS WILL PROBABLY SAY A GIANT METEOR DESTROYED THE TOWN - - - Or perhaps it was the local Council after all!

WORKERS at BAE Systems in Chadderton were told last Thursday that the historic site is to close — with the loss of all remaining 200 jobs. Another piece of Oldham history flushed down the shitter of  'progress'.  Watching the slow demise of this once thriving town is probably much like watching the extinction of the dinosaurs. With ever increasing pace once familiar and well loved institutions in the town are disappearing from the face of the earth. What is replacing them??  In no particular order:- Pound Shops- Fuck All - Derelict and abandoned buildings - Apathy - inertia - Pound Shops - Metrolink Escape route - Kebab Shops - Tents in the streets - Pound Shops - Car parks - Youth Clubs with  seman diputs - also don't forget the Pound shops!

Outside the BAE site  Oldham Councillor Dave Hibbert, cabinet member for arseing, traipsing and degeneration, said: “This is a disaster for the people who work here and their families. “We have officers in the degeneration department ready to advise these people on what jobs are available and what benefits they can get.  Oooh, Diddy Dave, can you tell the rest of us what fucking jobs are available in the great wasteland? See, once again Lie-bour cannot think further than 'benefits'. This obsession with adding to the client state and they hope, their voter base, has now become ingrained in their collective psyche. They never see what's coming. There is no advanced planning, (no planning at all as a matter of fact). They are the proverbial shit cart at the rear of the Lord Mayors Parade, sweeping up the ordure left by their inaction, lack of vision and lack of any direction in which to lead the town. The trouble is most of the ordure joined the Lie-bour party and is now stinking out the Council Chamber.

The stupid little tosspot continued, “The closure will have no impact whatsoever on the local economy but it’s a sad day for Chadderton and Greater Manchester.”  No impact you moronic little twat? What about all the local small businesses who will lose trade. What about the local ancilliary workers, cleaners, security etc.? What about the loss of business rates?


We recently blogged on a report that there were more than 770 vacant commercial premises in the town. How much is being lost in business rates there? 225 of these premises are in what remains of the town centre, which wasn't that big to start with. Now we have TJ Hughes going down the  plughole. Thorntons will almost certainly pull out when their lease expires. The Jane Norman concession in Debenhams has failed. Can it be long before Debenhams pull out of the town? Walked through a couple of weeks ago, the place was empty. The prices are probably too high for PoundShop Oldham.  Mike Flanagan, manager of Spindles and Town Square shopping centres and away with the fairies, said, a couple of weeks ago, just after JJB,HMV and Disney legged it into the night,  "There is some room for optimism in a stable retail sector."  S-T-A-B-L-E!! Three of his biggest names had just fucked off and he thinks that is stable!  What now? One end has fallen off his world, t'other end is wobbling and several in-between are looking very unsteady on their feet.

Mike, baby, you are wearing the Emperors new clothes.  If the promised heavy rains arrive and you see a straw gliding past snatch it and ride it out of town.

'OPERATOR- WE'VE GETTEN A BLAZE GOOIN' ON DAHN NEAR'T DOG.' .. "This is at Belle Vue?" 'Nah, yer pillock, dahn bi Cowhill!' "Is it a farm on fire?" 'Nah! yer great whazzock it's int' chip 'oyle!'

 Plans to route all Oldham’s 999 fire calls to Warrington were a “comprehensive failure” costing the taxpayer more than £1 million a year for rent on an empty building, a damning report has said.
The National Audit Office said the Fire control project launched by the previous Lie-bour government, was flawed from the start because it did not have the support of fire and rescue services.
Greater Manchester's current call centre was set to close under Lie-bour’s plans to streamline the current  46 local control rooms into nine centres, to improve the country’s ability to respond to terrorism, large-scale industrial accidents and natural disasters.
The entire North-West would have been dealt with from Warrington.

The coalition dumped the plans, which were initially expected to cost just £100m.last year, seven years after it started, but the NAO report revealed that at least £469 million had been wasted.

IT systems had never been delivered and eight of the new control centres remained empty and costly to maintain, said the report. London is the only centre being used.

It means the building purchased in Warrington is costing a staggering £99,792 a month — more than £1.19 million in rent a year but remains empty.

The Government has outlined a series of options for the future of the fire service but warns that it is tied into leases of up to 25 years on the regional buildings and if they are left empty that will mean a cut into the budget available for the brigades.

The National Audit Office report says: “Ineffective checks and balances during initiation and early stages meant the department for Communities and Local Government committed itself to the project on the basis of   inaccurate estimates of costs and benefits and an unrealistic delivery timetable, and agreed an inadequate contract with its IT supplier.

“The department under-appreciated the project’s complexity, and then mismanaged the IT contractor’s performance and delivery.

“The department failed to provide the necessary leadership to make the project successful, over-relying on poorly-managed consultants and failing to sort out early problems with delivery by the contractor.”  Once again we see Lie-bour being shafted by 'consultants'. These money grabbing bastards can see Lie-bour  coming a mile off and immediately send off for their brochures for exotic foreign holidays.

Communities Secretary, Eric Pickles, said: “This official report represents another damning indictment of Labour’s track record on expensive IT projects. It is no surprise that Labour led the country to the brink of bankruptcy when they can’t even manage the spiralling costs of a misguided project.” Pickles owd lad, most of 'em can't manage to walk and talk at the same time, never mind lead anything or anyone. (That Pickles has come on a bit since he found the World Cup, hasn't he?)


Have you seen the fucking outrageous sums we are talking about here?  Original cost est. £100M. Actual outlay total fucking waste of our money at termination, £469M! That's about 8 quid for every person in the country. For what?? Nine twatting control rooms! NINE!!

But it gets better. The tossers took  out a twenty-five year lease on a building in Warrington to house this arse of a scheme. Rent? £99,792 per month, £1,197,500 per year!  Over the twenty-five years if we are lumbered with the fucking white elephant for the full term of the lease, that's another         £29, 937,600!

But wait! There are seven more of these useless fucking things dotted around the country. If they all cost approx the same, and , knowing Lie-bour they will have. Rent for all nine would be approx £898K per month, £10.75M per year, £269M over 25 years. For what? ONE control centre in guess where? London! And all it will have cost US, is £738,000,000! Three quarters of a Billion Quid.
Next time anyone tells you Lie-bour are not a totally incompetent money squandering set of tossers. Poke 'em in the eye with a sharp stick!

THE BAD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY!

MORE decision-making power is coming to Oldham as part of sweeping changes to all six district partnerships across the borough.

Changes will include each district partnership having a central hub and a satellite base.

Current area manager positions will be scrapped and replaced with new, more senior district co-ordinator posts. Translation: Area managers will be promoted, regardless of lack of talent or ability, to district co-ordinators.

Each area will have its own environment manager.  This is part of Lie-bour's plan to reduce managerial posts. .
A £360,000 central pot will be available for large projects. How B-I-G will these projects be with £360K divvied up between six of 'em? In addition, each ward will get its own £30,000 priority fund, as well as £25,000 for highways schemes. £25K will go absolutely nowhere on highway schemes. Never mind I'm sure the members involved will find a use for the cash!
It is also planned to give each councillor £2,000 and they will also have to take part in extra troughing training.  By our reckoning we're up to about three-quarters of a mil on this. Good to see Lie-bour back to their scrimping and saving.

Council leader Jim McMahon, reading from the Jeremy Sutcliffe book of Lie-bour wit and repartee said: “This will separate good councillors from bad councillors and leave bad councillors exposed.”

His ridiculousness Suttie, asked, last week, in the OEC , who these bad councillors were.
Well now. We are going to put him out of his misery and expose the bad councillors. Suttie or Meacher's haemorrhoid as we call him, because of where he is always to be found, is not a councillor, he is an ex-councillor but thinks he is still sucking the public tit. He knows everything and nowt, spouts drivel like the TUC handbook and generally bores the shit out of everybody. So let's have him first

HERE WE GO           
HERE ARE THE PILLOCKS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONDITIONS WE ARE LIVING IN

Jeremy Mithering Twat Sutcliffe - Pretentious self opinionated pillock. Expert on everything in this town. Has the cure for all the ills of the place. So! How come the jumped up little twat didn't do anything when he had the reins of power in his hands? Because he's all wind and piss, a Lie-bour yes man, toeing the party line. Not a free thought in that pixie head like all the rest of his red brethren. He hurt his finger when Meacher's arse clapped shut unexpectedly  as he was reaching for a pearl of wisdom.



J.M.T. Sutcliffe

 Martin Diedoff - The invisible man.

Jenny Hardlysane - half of the Hardlysane money sponge dynasty.

Huge McDonald - Makes Peter Dean look intelligent.

John Hudson - Wet like the river

Colin McLaren - named after a supercar. The Colin was never a success.

Eddie Moores -  Why didn't Mom listen when they said: 'Don't have Eddie Moores, Mrs Moores.

Barbara Brownbread - Crumbs!

Dave Houle - sartorial elegance personified.

Jack Hulme - Syke's glove puppet.

Dave Fibber - Diddy Dave, perennial moaner in local press.

Graham Shuttlecock - Another lightweight

Joy Wriggleswell -   Will give you that come-hither look, or is it go-yonder?

My main areas of concern are, benefits, grants and the provision of affordable six or seven bedroom housing for the hard working people of Oldham

Same here.

Me too

John Dimmun & Philamean Chitin Another of the teat sucking dynasties. Renowned for their sparkling gaiety & joie de vivre.

Ann Opengate -   The hairstyle from hell.

Babs Drawerson -  MMA Heavyweight challenger.

Paul Fartin - The original face in the crowd. No speaking parts as yet.

Jimmy Madman - Sunny Jim, Wayne Rooney look alike but not as bright.

Ian Barking - Changed sides more times than an Italian deserter.

John Badboy -  Evil tosser behind the Woolas fiasco. Allowance grabber supreme.

Glenys Buttfroth - An angry silence


.

Phil Holly - The prick we get once a year.

Jean Stretcher - A heavyweight

Stevie Ray Williams - The Limeside Cowboy

My main area of concern is benefits, grants and the provision of affordable six or seven bedroom homes for hardworking Oldhamers.

Same here.

Goes for me too.

Olways Chatterin - Empty 'ead

Bernie Judge - A bad one

Tony Larrikin - The lumpen proletariat.

 Steve Gushforth - All wind and piss.

Phil Hardlysane - The other half of the public-tit sucking Hardlysanes.

Diane Willia......Who?

Mike Buckboard - Full of green credentials and crap.

Derek Havinone - Was great in Oh Mr Porter with Will Hay...Done nothing since.

Alan Roughedge - The Denshaw Dimwit.

Dick Knowless - From Greenfield. It's village idiot.

John McCann - A smile, a hop & a skip as we go through life.

Graham Seldom - Seldom seen, seldom heard.

Adie Alexander - Having a ragged time of it. Unemployed ex rugby player we're told.

Babs Beery & Val Segway - Looking for an opportunity to star in panto.

Allcock - By name not nature. Last proper job- milk monitor. Now wants everybody's job.

Rod Blithely - Supremely forgetable.

Howie 'Fat Boy Sykes' - Former chief eater of  OMBC. Perk meister bar none.

Roger Hinders - Rose without trace

Nige Newton - Crackers. Related to the Figg-Newtons

Jackie Starturn - Gipsy fortune teller and peg seller.

My main area of concern is benefits, grants and the provision of affordable six and seven bedroom housing for the hard working people of Oldham.

Hear-Hear!

I have also agreement with you.

Winter Drawerson - In it for the money.

Peter Dim - Here he is 'The vacuum abhorred by nature'. Member of brains trust with Huge Mcdonald.

Lynne Topspin - Tuppence on herself. Overpriced.

My main area of concern is benefits, grants & the provision of affordable six & seven bedroom housing for the hard working people of Oldham.

 I also

I want to make sure all planning applications are adhered to correctly, innit.

 
So that's it then for the bad councillors a comprehensive list of the good ones follows:-


So now you have seen the bunch of nincompoops, nitwits, halfwits, talentless, clueless brain-dead farts who supposedly are running this town. Be afraid! Be very afraid! Looking at that gallery of incompetents is it any wonder the town is in the shit state it is? Just look at the intelligence shining out at you. What makes them think and us believe they have the nous to run anything? Look at them, most of them would struggle to run a bath.  A waste of space, a waste of time, a waste of oxygen. For what? Oldham! A wasteland!!!


DON'T BLAME US YOU VOTED FOR THE TOSSERS....YOU COULD HAVE...YOU SHOULD HAVE, SAID....NO !!

IN OLDHAM - 770 VACANT PROPERTIES: 60 VACANT COUNCILLORS!

According to a report in the Oldham Advertiser, gleaned under the FOI Act, more than 770 commercial properties are currently classed as vacant in the town.
Two thirds of these former shops, stores, offices, workshops and warehouses have become empty since the start of the recession and show  how sick the borough has become.

A current report reveals that Oldham is unlikely to recover from the 2,000 job cuts suffered since 2009 until at least 2018.  Hundreds more jobs are also expected to be lost over the next five years as public sector cuts begin to bite.

The high number of vacant properties concerns Coun Barbara Brownridge, Oldham council’s deputy cabinet member for degeneration, who has promised to do all she can to assist growth. That won't be very much then.
Coun Brownbread said: "Oldham is a place people and businesses can and should invest in. The trouble is empty properties do not give that impression."  That's right they give the impression people and businesses can't and won't.


She prattled on, "We are limited to what we can do with properties that aren’t publicly owned." As opposed to the miracles we've worked with those that are.  "We can go around the back so to speak, developing a strategy of engagement,  (is this not a crime under the sexual offences act?), showing the benefits Metrolink and high speed broadband will bring." Go on name them then, especially the lure of high speed broadband as opposed to slow speed trams. "We can also raise the town’s profile to encourage investment and entrepreneurs." Anyone care to hazard a guess how much raising will be required?  We reckon this mob of know-nowts would struggle from now to doomsday to raise the towns profile to zero.

According to OMBC the vacant properties include 382 stores, 108 offices, 76 workshops, 68 shops, 53 warehouses, 12 pubs and four former banks.

The town centre has the highest number of empty premises with 225
Fifteen of the 770 have laid empty since 1995. It'll need some profile raising to fill premises empty sixteen years!
Property expert Ian Hill , director of Ryder and Dutton in Oldham, said a lack of lending is holding back a will for business to take on vacant premises. He said: "There is a lot of desire in Oldham to do something with these vacant properties, (most of 'em involving matches and petrol), but the potential buyers tell us they are fed up with being rejected by the banks, and they’ve given up." And people think the banks are stupid? Would you lend money on a start-up business in Oldham?


Meanwhile in an alternate universe, Mike Flanagan, manager of Spindles and Town Square shopping centres and away with the fairies, said there is some room for optimism in a stable retail sector. S-T-A-B-L-E!! Three of your biggest names have just bolted from the fucking stable. They have off-fucked fer Gawds's sake.
Whilst big names like HMV, the Disney Store and, within weeks, JJB leave the town, he is buoyant about the future. Much like the Titanic was buoyant. Until someone asked for ice!
He said: "We are definitely holding our own considering the economic climate. If things in Oldham centre don't pick up soon sunshine, all that will remain for you to do will be stand around holding YOUR own.
"The reality is that we have a number of vacancies and the owners and their agents are working hard to fill them.  HMV, Disney & JJB? Hard acts to follow there. How many jewellery stores will it take to make good the shortfall?  Here's an idea knock all the interior walls down and create the world's largest 'Pound Store'. Folks would come from yards around. 'Pan-Galactic Pound Shop', there's a target to aim for.
"If negotiations with some of the big name retailers we are talking to come off, we could have some exciting additions in the near future," he mumbled, constrained by the tightness of the straitjacket. Which big name retailers would want to gamble on spending thousands opening up in a town with 770 empty premises, 225 of them in what is left of the town centre? Do tell us!
Anyhow when the MissingLink eventually chugs into Oldham nobody will want to go to the poxy shopping centres like Bury, Manchester, Ashton, Bolton. Will they? Problem solved!

ONLY ONE GOOD THING EVER CAME OUT OF HOLLINWOOD ....!

Hip, Hip, Hooray!! Regeneration is just around the corner!
OMBC has signed an agreement with property investment and development firm Langtree to bring business and leisure developments to four sites. Yippee! the town centre will be all a-buzz again! Er, sorry, No. When we said just around the corner it's actually three miles down the road in Hollinwood.
Plans include attracting new businesses at the former mill site in Albert Street — including a cinema.

Oldham’s last picture house was the now-demolished Roxy just pissing distance from the proposed new development,  which closed its doors in 2005 after 69 years of business. Mainly because of some grandiose hidden agenda that the Lie-bour council had up it's sleeve and also because business had fallen dramatically.

Council leader Jim McMahon  Madman said: “Attracting a cinema will be dependant on the current market but we think it’s a very good place for it.  Is the moronic twat all there. Who's going to frequent the place? The citizens of Failsworth and Hollinwood? They didn't do much for the old Roxy which was nearer to civilisation than this pipe dream will be. How are patrons to get there? Is this where the Metro Missing Link will come into it's own? How will folks get from Hollinwood station to Albert Street? Will there be a skywalk, a subterranean passageway, will we have to leg it up Hollinwood Ave and attempt to cross, what is a nightmare junction in the light of day, but on a dark and rainswept night in midwinter will be suicide alley?

“By signing on the dotted line Oldham Council has signalled its commitment to work with Langtree to transform this area into a destination which will attract investors and new businesses.”, said the clueless fucker. Where will it attract investors and new businesses from and why would they want to come here?  There is no infrastructure in place to accommodate new companies. There is no business plan for Oldham. No-one on Oldham Council has the faintest idea of 'business'.

Langtree was chosen as the council’s development partner in 2007 but the credit crunch forced both parties to review their plans. They are now ready to return to the market....... But hold a moment.
Our own Charlie Chuckles "Turd" Parker was previously the director of investment and performance at English Partnerships and a member of its executive management board. Two members of langtree's board were also at English Partnerships: From langtree's website:  John Downes.  John is the Managing Director of Langtree.  Before joining Langtree he held a senior position with English Partnerships in Liverpool.
 Stephen Barnes.  Stephen Barnes is a Chartered Surveyor and Langtree’s Board Director (Development). He has been with Langtree for 8 years. During this time, Stephen has been heavily involved in growing Langtree's development business and encouraging the Company's partnership with the public sector. Previously, Stephen spent 5 years with the North West Development Agency and English Partnerships.
Coincidence.....or what?????


Managing director John Downes said: “Hollinwood’s proximity to the M60 and other key gateways makes it an incredibly desirable proposition for ambitious investors.” Don't think much of HIS judgement then. It is a cramped site with difficult access. Methinks the keyword here is 'investors', think tax write offs.

Does anyone in the Lie-bour administration ever give a moments thought to all these new fangled ideas they keep coming up with?  A bee in their bonnet from 2007 and they're off and running again, can't wait to start squandering OUR money. In case you've forgotten Sunny Jim and your band of pillocks it's supposed to be the town we're regenerating cos the MissingLink is going to bring people in in vast hordes. Or has this been the agenda all along, let's have the trams so we can shift people out of town?


To show that there are people still left in Oldham, capable of rational thought, we reproduce a comment from the OEC Thurs 23/6. This comment was sent by ProDriver who seems to have more planning nous than the whole of OMBC. Read it you numb brainfarts of council drones! Read it Sunny Jim!  It might not be the complete answer, but by fuck it's a lot better idea than yours.
THINK - THINK - THINK -THINK - THINK- THINK - THINK - THINK - THINK

Anyone agree with us? If so contact your councillor. Let them know what WE think, what WE want. What we need are facilities within easy reach of the whole borough not holed up in a field, miles away at the side of a motorway!  

"Good grief Jim, are you mad? Spending all this money on Metrolink to the town centre, then going back to the site of a failed cinema??

Instead of a park and ride on the old B&Q site, that whole area should have been prime leisure development land. Right by the dual carriageway, right on a main route into Oldham from densely populated areas and right by Metrolink. Are you people for real?"

By ProDriver @ 23/06/2011 18:10:45

EXCELLENT !!!  COME ON PEOPLE OF OLDHAM BACK HIM UP! LET'S MAKE OUR VOICES HEARD!   The Wulfe

NEXT TRAM'S GONE....!

Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the non-arrival of the first tram. Somebody promised somebody else something, you know how it is. Anyhow, to cut a long story short, it's fucked off to Chorlton!  It won't be coming morons. We did have a small problem with track-laying in as much as the southbound track-laying team just missed  meeting up with the northbound track-laying team. It was only a midge's out, but for a while no-one caught on until one ganger, smarter than the rest, realised the line was passing through the centre of Stoke-on-Trent. There were a few red faces I can tell you. Some numb fuck  A transport expert proposed the bright idea of a non-stop line from Oldham to Burslem. This idea was dropped when it was realised that Oldham and Burslem are virtually identical shit-heaps and it was felt passengers may get confused and not know which end of the line they were at so we took up the track and threw it away. This appeared to us to be the cheapest option.  In the coming months we are going to fuck and fiddle about with various portions of the system  pile of shite, probably until sometime next year or maybe later, depending on how arsed we are about it. In the meanwhile keep smiling folks, look how much brighter it is around the Mumps area now we have got rid of all that ugly shite cluttering up the place. We shall, for the foreseeable future, continue to dig up every tossing road in the area. We depreciate your business and know how much it pisses you off having to detour via Chapel-en-le-Frith. But look on the bright side folks you are getting to see places you'd only dreamt of previously. As soon as we get this latest super technological system overpriced heap of junk up and running, we will inform you, our travelling public. As compensation for to-days disappointment we plan to offer various chances for passengers to participate in the operation of this new cutting edge technology simple Victorian transport system. To start with,  in the weeks immediately after the off, we shall be offering ring-side seats as passengers get to see first hand how we deal with a derailment. Seats for this spectacle will be allocated according to how many days travellers have been trapped on the platform at Mumps.  Passengers on the stricken vehicle will, of course, incur no further charges while the entertainment  rescue takes place, other than hot drinks and meals from the TfGM trolley, which will pass along the tram, twice daily. Other treats planned include points failure viewing, signalling problems explained (sort of) and talks. complete with detailed
 drawings of how you managed to fetch up in Barrow in Furness.

Other than that folks, keep your moaning gobs shut. We know what we are doing, (we do! Don't we Dad?) and if we get stuck we can always ask Coun Knowless, he's a perfesser and expert on transport technology, he says.
That's the end of this update message folks. Just a reminder that fares will increase by a measly eighteen percent next week, but will still represent excellent value for money. Thank you for travelling Metrolink and we hope you have a pleasant and safe journey.


A. Spokesperson:

METROLINK .... MAKING LIFE EASIER FOR MORONS