Councils will have 'no money' for main services by 2020
Councils will no longer be able to pay for any libraries, parks, leisure centres or fixing potholes in roads by the end of this decade because of a catastrophic funding crisis, they warned today.
Fucking Norah!! How the fuck will we manage when there is no more money for all the new libraries, parks, leisure centres, especially leisure centres and pothole filling???? The town will be well and truly fucked!! So, enjoy these halcyon days of plenty! make the most of our world class facilities - Read 'til your eyeballs burst - wallow in the endless pursuit of leisure at our award winning centres - glide effortlessly along our glass smooth roads. But be warned, all these luxuries you have become accustomed to, will soon be a thing of the past.
Financial estimates carried out for the leaders of every major local authority in England and Wales show that funding for services used by millions of people will be shrunk by up to 90% by 2020.
Can some mathematically gifted reader explain to us and the mentally challenged fuckwits on the council, what effect will shrinking nowt by 90% have on the services we have come to love and rely on in this town?
It is reported that even after cutting over 200,000 jobs, curbing executive pay and slashing spending on services, the figures indicate that a funding crisis will be unavoidable.
Whoa!!! Hang on a cotton-pickin' minute!! How many of these 'jobs' were cut in the 'Bountiful Borough'? Well?? How many have you heard of since Jimmy 'Fill mi wallet' Pudden-Face announced " over 400 redundancies? We reckon NONE just about covers it.(Lie-bour making their own redundant? You're 'avin a fuckin' laff). How many executives have had their pay curbed and by how much? We reckon NONE just about covers it. How much slashing has been going on? We reckon NONE just about covers it.
After meeting legal obligations for providing care and for street cleaning, councils currently have a total of £24.5 Billion left to fund all of their other madcap schemes self aggrandisement plans money pits ideological stupidities less urgent commitments. By 2020 that figure is projected to fall to 8.4 Billion - a two thirds cut, or 80% in real terms. If council's current obligations such as paying for bus passes and servicing the ever expanding PFI scams on building projects are included in the commitments , the money left for everything else will fall by 90% - or, in real terms, will be virtually wiped out.
Aha! here we are ahead of the game! We have been wiped out for years now but nobody will admit it. At least if the money available falls by 90% we will have the cushion of the other 10% to cover councillors allowances. We must get our priorities right!
The chairman of the LG Association said: "By the end of the decade councils may be forced to wind down some of the most popular services they provide."
Bloody Fuckin' 'ell! What the fuck will we have left? Let's start preparing for the worst! We invite entries for the "Most popular services we provide - which of them are to be fucked off" competition. Simply write, on a postcard the name(s) of the popular service YOU would miss least and send it off to:-
I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE
UPSTAIRS
THE UGLY TOWER THINGY
SLAP BANG IN THE MIDDLE OF OLDHAM - AN EYESORE -USING UP VALUABLE COMMERCIAL LAND.
OL1 FUKTUP
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