"The best results for Lie-bour since the poll tax disaster for Mrs Thatcher. I have been in Oldham for 42 years and with one exception, they are the best results for half a century. Every single ward in my constituency was won by margins we have never experienced before."
"The fact that the Lie-bour party nearly won in Shaw & Crompton and did win in Saddleworth W and Lees are extraordinary results".
(By God didn't that woman Thatcher give the red brigade the shits, they are still frightened by her 21 years after she left office).
So, let's look at the figures. In the sixteen wards won by Lie-bour 128,000 people were eligible to vote. Of these 29,000 voted for Lie-bour, 19,600 voted for other parties but, get this, 79,000 people did not vote. This means just 22.5% of the electorate voted for Lie-bour in the 16 wards. This is hardly a runaway mandate for the Lie-bour party is it Meac£er, you tosser?
What of the Town as a whole? The total electorate is 159,348. Of these 32,778 voted Lie-bour, that is approx 21% of the vote. 29,365 voted for other parties. This accounts for a 39% turnout. That leaves 61% or 97,000 people who couldn't be fucking bothered. Yes you read that right. NINETY-SEVEN THOUSAND of you shiftless fuckers couldn't drag yer benefit sodden arses off the sofa and away from the daytime pap of TV. What's the betting you are the very ones who, in the coming months of the rule of the 'perkocracy' will be among those bemoaning their fate and writing to the local press about how hard done by they are. Well I've news for you you gutless, idle, moaning bastards. IT WILL BE TOO LATE!!!! Your chance to alter things for the better was last Thursday. If you chose to spend the day in the bookies, pub, arms of your lover, drunken stupor or if you couldn't even be bothered to arise from your wanking pit, then you have only yourselves to blame. YOU ARE THE ONES RESPONSIBLE!! Though responsible is not a word usually associated with the populace of Oldham.
So Micky, baby, 21% is a triumph, eh? Tell us about the sweeping mandate given you by the 21%. Tell us how nearly winning a seat is an extraordinary result. You didn't win it. It wasn't a result and it certainly wasn't extraordinary! You are a total incompetent nincompoop. You state you have "been in Oldham for 42 years." Oh yeah? How much time, in total, during the past forty years, have you spent in your favourite spot in the whole world? Or, as I once heard you remark, 'Terrrible place, terrible people." Meac£er you have taken the piss out of this town for far too long now. For fucks sake stick the fucking brown nosed Suttie back up your fucking arse and fuck the fuck off!.
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