SHORT NOTICE OF SALE

MESSRS GRABBEM TWISTE & SQUEEZUM  VALUERS AND AUCTIONEERS OF ANY OLD TAT. OFFER FOR SALE FROM THE SECOND HOME OF A DISTRESSED GENTLEMAN THE FOLLOWING ITEMS.

LADIES SHOES (Dozens of pairs)      PANTY LINERS (Useful for all night sittings)

            LADIES SKIRTS (Bought in error)      BLOUSES (Big girls)                                                 

           LIPSTICKS (Many colours)                LARGE QUANTITY WINE (Chateau Tesco)           

                TAMPONS (Unused)                      VAST NUMBER OF COMICS (MPs Autobiogaphies etc)  

All as new. Receipts available 

Also to be sold without reserve: The above mentioned second home, belonging to a gentleman of repute. Recently re-furbished at tremendous expenses. Situated in a desirable area of Lees, Oldham......or is it Brentford?  We're not quite sure. But then again neither was the gentleman of repute. The property is very handy for all local amenities incl: Cash Converters, Tumbril Makers, Job-Centre, Unemployment Benefit Office, Salvation Army Soup Kitchen, Samaritans etc. 

TERMS :- CASH ONLY (Lots and lots of it please. OOOooh yeah! I love it. Lovely money. New notes- all crisp and crinkly - aaaaaargh. Covered in those erotic images, 20, 50. 100...... oooooooh....... too late.............. I'm coming darling!