Pigsticker - Home Of B.B. Wulfe

NESSUN DORMA - ESPECIALLY THEM AS LIVE IN CARLTON WAY!!!

2012-01-27T03:23:00.000Z

Bugger Me!!! Cried the Wulfe as he espied the headlines in the local Lie-bour Party Chronicle. - 'Elton John, Rod Stewart & Noel Gallagher to star at Boundary Park.'

Rod will obviously become skipper of the team leading us to glory as he opens his legs and dazzles us with his ball skills. Noel will bring an oasis of calm and gentility to the midfield unless Liam signs for someone like ....er Accrington Stanley say - and war breaks out over who has the better left foot. As for Elton, dear old Elton! He would be a rock in defense, taking the youngsters in hand and plugging any openings at the back.

Crowds would flock back - Latics would have enough money to sign almost anyone they wanted on loan. With their new-found show business connections they could consider putting on pop-concerts at the Broadway Bowl. Any of those three could surely fix us up with a few 'turns'. they could even put on a show themselves, what about it? Three tenners that should cover it!

+ +LATEST + + ++ + FORTHCOMING ATTRACTIONS + +

MAY 19th 'ANNE ZIEGLER AND WEBSTER BOOTH'

Perennial favourites - GET DOWN & DIRTY!!!

JUNE23rd 'APESHIT'

THE Monkees tribute band!

JULY 28th ' RUBY MURRAY'

Named in honour of Oldham's favourite meal!

OLD TOM ON DRAUGHT

BERT ON THE KEYS

BE EARLY!

JEUX À TRAVERS LA FRONTIÈRE

2012-01-16T23:23:00.000Z

JOBS ON OFFER, (What they??) - AT NEW LEISURE CENTRE, (What that??)

'Oldham Community Leisure,' who are the organisation ~~to blame~~ responsible for running sports centres in Oldham have announced they are set to link up with 'Link4Life' a similar, but Oh so different, organisation responsible for the same services in neighbouring Rochdale.

OCL say the partnership would lead to cheaper prices and increased facilities across the two towns. The one problem with this is that all the sports facilities are in Rochdale, with new ones about to open this year. Sports facilities in Oldham, having been neglected for years, are being closed indiscriminately to satisfy the cronyism rife among our dear councillors.

On Saturday 'Link4Life' will be hosting a jobs fair in Rochdale to recruit staff for the planned NEW Rochdale Leisure Centre' opening later this year. They are recruiting duty officers, lifeguards, leisure attendants,swimming teachers, fitness instructors and assistants and receptionists. Fuck me! Get in there quick if you're qualified. If you are waiting for similar posts to become available in Oldham. Hah! Tubby Sykes will have exploded and Fibber Hibbert will have shrunk to a white dwarf before then.(Mind you Diddy Dave Hasn't really all that far to go. Has he?)

Since 2007, Link4Life has been responsible for delivering a £34million investment programme for Rochdale sports and leisure. This programme includes Heywood Sports Village and Middleton Arena. Opening in June this year is Rochdale Leisure Centre. Costing £10.8 million, the centre will comprise swimming pools, a sports hall, fitness and dance studios and a thermal suite.

That is almost £45million invested in sports and leisure in Rochdale over the last four years.

What have we to crow about in Oldham? Well, nearly all the goalposts on council football pitches received a super new coat of emulsion and changing facilities were given a good coat of looking at. It looks like we ~~are~~ may be getting a new swimming pool, (in Royton), but three others are closing to pay for it. Mind you, we still have the open air swimming pool at Churchill Playing Fields. We have sports pitches, receiving the barest minimum upkeep, with the most primitive, if any, changing facilities. Our two professional sports clubs play in slums. What a great advert for the town. ORLFC,(The Roughyeds), gave up their ground at Watersheddings, (where it used be good, to see 'em feight for t'ball in t'mud), on the promise of being rehomed. Instead Battye et al, simply stole it. Where are they now?? A fucking allotment in Limeside!!

Where has this £45million come from? Where is our £45million? How come Rochdale have this go -ahead organisation Link4Life running their sports and leisure facilities while we have the moribund tossers OCL running ours, (into the ground that is!). Trust the clueless fuckers on Oldham Council to back the wrong horse. Nearly every fucking service that this council should be providing and running has been handed over to parasitic fucking failures. Fuck knows how much extra all this abrogation of responsibility and authority is costing US!

YOU! The sixty planks of wood in that goddamned ugly tower, daydreaming OUR lives away while awaiting YOUR allowance payments. WAKE UP YOU USELESS TWATS!!!!!! The modern world is fast disappearing into the distance whilst we slide unresistingly back into the swamp. Do your jobs run this town properly or fuck the fuck off!!!!

OCL --- OLDHAM COMES LAST!!!

IT'S WHERE THE ORANGES COME FROM. NO! NOT TESCO'S YOU THICK PILLOCK!!

2012-01-16T03:04:00.001Z

Seville goes green

Based on a report -'Eco-tourism in Spain' 06 January 2012 | By Brendan Sainsbury, Lonely Planet

This Spanish city has bidden adios to the organized urban chaos found in so many cities and embraced a more sustainable outlook.

Kick-started by proactive city mayor, Alfredo Sánchez Monteseirín in 2007, the lightning pace of Seville’s “greening” defies its laidback fiesta and siesta image. In the span of just five years the Sevillanos have instituted: a community bike-sharing scheme, a surface tram, an underground metro, two high-speed train links, a pilot electric car programme and -- 20km away in Sanlúcar la Mayor -- the first commercial solar power plant in Europe.

Strewth!! All that shit in just five years! That's not playing fair, is it? What have we got in the last five years? Rid of our trains, rid of our stations, rid of our bridge, rid of our market, rid of our warehouse, rid of most of the shops in the town, rid of our swimming pools and libraries, rid (almost) of our old Town Hall, rid of most of Derker, rid of every leisure amenity, rid of Yorkshire Street as a venue for decent folk, rid of a sane garbage collection routine, rid of hope that a tram will ever rumble up Union Street. We also got rid of Fill Woolyarse so it's not all bad news, then!

The inauguration of Seville’s bike-sharing scheme in April 2007 was something of a godsend, even for avowed car users. It was the second bike-sharing initiative in Spain--and it is the fifth largest scheme of its kind in Europe, with 2,500 bikes on offer. Grab a two-wheeled machine from any of the 250 docking stations and you will quickly discover that cycling suits this flat, balmy metropolis. Unlike Oldham the barmy metropolis, full of hills and potholes. Cyclists have been known to vanish without trace in some of these potholes which are more like caves really. A trial bike -sharing scheme was tried a short while ago in the town but failed due to renters not returning bikes to the allotted docking stations. Most were found parked in e-bay, Cash Converters and 'arry's scrap yard!

Seville has 120km of bike lanes and the first 30 minutes of usage are free. Beyond that, it is one euro for the first hour and two euros an hour thereafter. Oldham has 35 yards of bike lanes and the first 5 seconds of usage are nearly free. Beyond that it is four quid for the first hour or per part of per hour and eight quid an hour or per part of per hour thereafter.

Cycling down Seville's Avenida de la Constitución, inhaling the aroma of ripe oranges, will bring you within a wheel’s width of museum-queuers, horses and carts, and attractive señoritas in red-and-white polka-dot dresses -- but no cars. Central Seville’s main arterial roads were pedestrianised in 2007 to make way for a new tram system, the MetroCentro. Cycling down Oldham's Union Street or Avenida de la Pollo Frito, inhaling the aroma of stale cooking oil and burnt chicken nuggets, (which part of a chicken does the 'nugget' come from?), will bring you within a gnats bollock of Job Seekers, drunken arseholes and peroxide slags with faces like a slater's nail bag, wearing dirty anoraks -- but also -no cars. Nearly every street in Oldham became traffic free when they were all dug up to make way for a new tram system, the Metroshite. This failure dogged piece of crap may or may not arrive within the NEXT five years, but don't hold your breath. TfGM or The fucking Great Mistake plan to continue fucking the whole town over once they've managed to drag all the dead trams off the streets of Manchester and the five year old kid designs another operating system.

Seville's original tram-line -- a modest 1.4km in length -- was extended in 2011 to incorporate an extra 1.1km. The introduction of revolutionary new battery-powered technology meant that ugly overhead cables have been dismantled. Now the plan is to extend the tramline as far as Santa Justa, Seville’s main railway station, where new high-speed trains head off to Madrid, Cádiz and (by 2013) Granada.

Oldham's ongoing saga of the tramlines continues. At present all those involved are trying to bring the line to Mumps where a perfectly good station was demolished to allow a station to be built. In two thousand and plenty they are going to dig it all up again to drag it along Union Street. A new station will have to be built at Mumps cos the line is pissing off in a different direction. Are you following all this? If we were getting battery powered trams they could be recharged at Little Jimmy Pudden-Face's proposed electric vehicle charging station at Hollinwood. Just think of the leisure time we would have waiting for a charge. You couldn't rely on buying replacement batteries. The shops are always closed just when you need one. So what we are getting? Ugly overhead cables! Our pride and joy will take us to Victoria, one of Manchester's railway backwaters, where slow speed trains head off to Wigan, Blackburn and Darwen, and by 2025 one will have reached Leeds via Rochdale.

In Seville there is a tram stop right outside the majestic Gothic cathedral. The tram also connects with the bus station and the new subterranean Metro. In Oldham there will be a tram stop right outside the nissen-hut like Sainsbury's. Our tram, unfortunately, will not connect with any of Oldham's fifteen assorted bus stations as they are all on Cheapside, up a five hundred foot sheer cliff face.
A lot of the trams will stop outside Failsworth, Hollinwood or any other of the myriad stops en route. This is not planned, it is called a breakdown. When this occurs the whole town will come to a standstill. Outsiders will notice no difference.

In Seville you could consider hiring an electric car to get around. Renault chose Seville as the city to launch its three new zero-emission models in October 2011, and ultimately these vehicles and others will be able to make use of 75 battery-recharging points that are being built around the city as part of a government-sponsored plan to boost electric car use.In Oldham you could lash out thousands on an overpriced 'lectric car and run down to Hollinwood if you need a boost. (That's when and if any of this pie-in-the-sky ever becomes reality.

Finding parking remains a perennial problem in both towns and here we have several things in common. Seville has built on many of its traditional car parks, most recently in March 2011 with the daring, ultra-modern Metropol Parasol in the Plaza de la Encarnación, which harbours a museum, a market, a restaurant, a plaza and a panoramic walkway. Professing to be an architectural icon in a liveable city core, this giant structure, purported to be the largest wood structure in the world, is best described as a forest of mushrooms welded onto a flying waffle . Oldham has taken a slightly different approach and built, where we used to have interesting buildings, many daring, ultra-modern car parks, harbouring pay-and-display ticket machines, traffic wardens and panoramic views of the Tower of Babble. These have been constructed by the biggest wooden structure in Oldham, namely our local Councillors, who are known to be as intelligent as mushrooms and full of waffle.

Oh! We nearly forgot. We are getting MAHDLO though!!!!

If the thick mushrooms were in control of this town for fifty years they still couldn't come up with anything like these plans!

If there is anyone still out there!!! HELP!!!!

SUCK IT UP, BABY!!

2012-01-15T20:17:00.000Z

Many consumers in the dark about dangers of CFL bulbs

This article appeared in a US newspaper earlier this month. We reproduce it in full for your 'enjoyment.' Highlights are ours - For America and Congress. - Read Westminster and BRUSSELS!!

Published - Jan 04 2012 10:37PM EST
Kirk Myers, Seminole County Environmental News Examiner

The is the first in a multi-part series of articles exposing the lies and misinformation behind legislation mandating the replacement of incandescent light bulbs with potentially unsafe compact florescent light (CFL) bulbs.

Most consumers by now are aware of a federal law mandating the phased transition from incandescent light bulbs to controversial mercury-activated compact florescent light (CFL) bulbs, starting this year.

According to provisions of legislation passed by congress in 2007, the 100-watt incandescent bulb was to be off the shelves this January, followed by a phase-out of the 75-watt version in January 2013 and the 60- and 40-watt versions in January 2014. But last month congress granted consumers a reprieve by including in its spending bill a measure delaying enforcement of the ban until the end of the 2012.
Mercury – a deadly neurotoxin
From the time it was first proposed, the ban has run into opposition from consumers who are understandably concerned about outfitting their home light fixtures with bulbs containing, on average, 5 milligrams of mercury, enough to contaminate 6,000 gallons of water. Mercury is one of the most deadly neurotoxins on the planet.

According to Wattsworks.com , “Breaking a single CFL bulb in a room can result in mercury vapor levels 300 times in excess of what the Environmental Protection Agency has established as safe for prolonged exposure. Serious health effects are associated with mercury exposure. Unborn and young children, elderly and those with weakened health are particularly vulnerable.”

The EPA continues to downplay safety concerns, but recommends consumers follow these safety precautions if a bulb is broken :

Open a window and ventilate the area for 15 minutes Avoid vacuuming the area (to prevent the spread of mercury dust) Use cardboard, not a broom, to sweep up the remains of the bulb While wearing rubber globes use a wet paper towel to wipe the area Seal the contents in a jar with a lid or plastic bag for disposal “If clothing or bedding materials come into direct contact with broken glass or mercury-containing powders from inside the bulb that may stick to the fabric, the clothing or bedding should be thrown away.”

The EPA claims the amount of mercury in a single bulb is not enough to create a health hazard. But according to test data released in December 2010 by Germany’s Federal Environment Agency (UBA), mercury levels from broken CFLs were 20 times higher than regulations allow in the surrounding air for up to five hours after breakage.

The American Thinker reports : "Based on a new method to measure mercury from broken CFLs, the New Jersey Department of Environmental Protection reports that only one-third of the mercury release occurs during the first 8 hours after breakage. During the following two-week period, 17 percent to 40 percent of the mercury is released into the air."

In a report last March, Fox News exposed the potentially dangerous health hazards of mercury-laced CFL bulbs:

“Mercury . . . is a potent, developmental neurotoxin that can damage the brain, liver, kidneys and central nervous system. Infants and young children are particularly vulnerable to mercury’s toxic effects. Even at low levels, mercury is capable of causing a number of health problems including impaired motor functioning, cognitive ability and emotional problems. Higher or prolonged exposure can result in much more serious health problems.”

Mercury Instruments , a Littleton, Colo., firm that specializes in removing mercury contamination, states the following on its Web site:

“If you break a "CFL" Compact Fluorescent light bulb and attempt to clean it up yourself, there is absolutely no way to know that you have removed the mercury unless you screen the area with a mercury vapor monitor . . . Without the proper equipment, you will never be able to locate where the mercury came to rest.”

Concerned about mercury contamination, many environmental agencies have adopted strict regulations for the disposal and recycling of CFLs . In California, Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, Ohio and Wisconsin, it is illegal to improperly dispose of fluorescent bulbs in trash or landfills. Consumers face stiff fines if they violate the law.

Investigate Magazine says this about broken CFLs: “The real cost is not one broken light bulb, but how badly affected homes will be after 20 years of amateur attempts to clean up one of the deadliest neurotoxins on the planet.”
Mercury vapors – another health hazard?
Toxic mercury from broken bulbs might not be the only danger posed by CFL lamps. During tests last year at Berlin's Ala Laboratory, scientists discovered that various carcinogenic chemicals and toxins, including phenol, naphthalene and styrene, are released when CFLs are switched on.
Environmental experts in Britain have downplayed the findings, insisting that CFLs are not a danger to the public and that more studies are needed to back up the German research.

But Peter Braun, who carried out the tests at the lab, claims that CFL lamps emit poisonous vapors when turned on and “should not be used in unventilated areas and definitely not in the proximity of the head.”

This report comes on the heels of research by Israel’s Haifa University suggesting that the CFL’s bluer light emissions, which closely mimic daylight, might interfere with the production of the hormone melatonin, contributing to higher rates of breast cancer.

In addition, the Migraine Action Association is warning that CFLs could trigger migraine headaches, “and skin care specialists have claimed that their intense light could exacerbate a range of existing skin problems,” according to a report in London’s Daily Telegraph .

Consumer anger

Many consumers are fuming over what they see as government meddling and are stocking up on incandescent light bulbs before the ban goes into effect. Judging from the pointed buyer comments on Amazon.com, the legislators who voted for the ban might want to update their resumes.

“You can pry my 100 watt incandescent from my cold dead hand (apologies to Charlton Heston),” says Dukesuxheelrule. “Only a liberal green weenie would replace a perfectly safe tool of illumination with a much more expensive, lower quality, and highly hazardous product.”

Jeddy3 chimes in: “Every time the do-gooder nanny state shoves something down our throat "for our own good," you can bet it'll be found later that it wasn't safer/better after all. If it were better, safer, or more economical, it wouldn't be necessary to legislate its competition out of business.”

Another incensed buyer bashes the Green movement and defends freedom of choice:
“They [the incandescent bulbs] work well, shine bright, and - best of all - make me feel constantly proud to be screwing the eco-nazis,” said ahtimsa1970. “Screw you, Al Gore! Keep your hands off my thermostat, light bulbs and recycling bins. I worked hard for my money; I'll spend it however I choose.”

During a recent appearance on Fox News, Marc Marano, the founder of the online Web site Climate Depot , described the ban as an assault on consumer choice carried out by global warming alarmists and their allies on Capitol Hill.

“The only reason we’re talking about incandescent bulbs is because of fears of global warming. They’re trying . . . to control every aspect of our lives.”

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

DESOLATION ROW!!

2012-01-13T04:00:00.000Z

Once more our intrepid hackers have journeyed into dark uncharted waters to bring you the true, the unexpurgated, (what a lovely word!), witterings of a simpleton! Read our Bleeders Log where Little Jimmy Pudden-face lets it all hang out!

I’VE GOT mixed feelings about the demolition of the Park Road Warehouse last weekend.On the one hand it will stop all the moaning twats from ~~the do-gooder~~ ~~conversationalists~~ ~~contortionists~~ ~~constipationers~~ oh you know, them as want to keep every crap old building in the town, on the other hand it increases our car-park stock immeasureably.

As a keen amateur local historian, I’m more inclined than most to preserve our heritage. But as a lying bastard I incline more toward demolishing anything that stinks of heritage, in favour of erecting buildings ~~I can get my name on~~ we can be proud of. I recognise that years of decline have taken their toll and with the best will in the world some buildings are beyond rescue. Some of you have said the same is true of my your council. What I can tell those folks is that we are trying, (ed. you're right there twatty, very trying!)

I accept that - people like me, might look at our older buildings and see history – No you scrote, people don't like you and anyone looking ~~for~~ at our two remaining 'older buildings' are merely paying their last respects. For those living side by side with them they can be symbols of decline.Don't worry though folks these will shortly be replaced with bright, fresh, new symbols.

The fact that the Borough was once home to more than 360 mills, yet has such a small number today, shows that, whilst some have been taken over by local captains of industry running modern successful businesses such as, say, bespoke fitted kitchen manufacturers and suppliers others merely fell over and once we had cleared the ~~sights~~ sites and the asphalt was laid, the Pay & Display industry moved in with it's wardens.

As the former cotton spinning capital of the world we have ~~a large legacy~~ one or two of these mill and warehouse buildings. As the leader of the bull-shitting capital of the world I have to admit I've lost track of both of them. Oh, yeah here's the Hartford mill which I rescued from oblivion and single handed restored to it's former glory, (no I didn't claim for it on allowances, I did it on my day off.) Look at the exquisite workmanship, note the authentic 'smoke' stain from generations of mill workers standing outside having a ciggy after their lunch break. Of course these ancient buildings were erected before the invention of glass. This gives the building an airy, open quality.

The days of a textile magnate building a mill and nestling homes around it to keep an eye on his workforce are long gone. As are all the mills and most of the houses. We saw to that with the HMR programmes where we demolished hundreds of houses or boarded up those we couldn't afford to demolish. In their place we built ~~thousands~~ ~~hundreds~~ ~~dozens~~ one or two new modern homes with all mod cons that people displaced under HMR clamoured for.

People no longer work en masse in mills at the end of their streets and they also don’t crave to live in an industrialised setting. (ed. They don't work anywhere you muppet! There is no work. There are no industrialised settings because there is NO industry thanks to you and succession of indolent self servers on what we laughingly call 'The Council.'

There are some mills in the Borough, like Earl Mill and Anchor Mill, and Albert Street near my own home where historically we’ve been able to find a new use for them. Investment in some , such as the Belgrave Mill, turned out more costly than we had envisaged. But that doesn’t mean that every ~~Miller~~ mill here should – or can – be saved. The bastard!!

Even with the loss of Park Road Warehouse we still have the old Town Hall, former Library, Foxdenton Hall, Royton Town Hall, ~~Royton Assembly Hall~~, ~~Mumps Bridge~~, ~~Broadway Library~~, ~~Werneth Fire Station~~, ~~Chadderton Baths~~, ~~Mumps Station~~, amongst those which require priority investment to ensure they have a long term future.

Failsworth Town Hall has shown what can be achieved when I'm the Supreme Being who decides priorities, holds the purse strings and live in Failsworth. We now need to move to ensure we have flagship buildings which show Oldham’s heritage in the best possible light.(ed. The only light which would improve most of the buildings in Oldham, is firelight!)

On a totally unrelated topic I must say I was delighted to be amongst more than 6,000 locals who travelled to Anfield on Friday night to see Latics take on Liverpool in the FA Cup.(ed. Well you paid enough to get a ticket!)

I will preface my remarks here by pointing out that I’m not claiming to be a diehard supporter. In fact, as anyone who knows me will confirm, my knowledge of football would take about ten seconds to explain.(ed. about nine seconds more than your knowledge of 'Heritage')

It was just a fantastic occasion and the main thing I will remember about it was the amazing atmosphere whipped up by Oldham fans. (ed. What a fucking dragging up the philistine must have had. All them years of studying the collected works of Bliar and the Scottish, one-eyed, snot-gobbler, with bed-time stories from the Lie-bour party bumper book of fun and fiddles. Explains a lot I suppose.)

This was the first time I’ve seen local people shouting in such voice and numbers with obvious pride about where they come from – and it was heart-warming to see and hear “We love you Oldham” being sung out.(ed. By the 'Blind Boys of Alabama' presumably!)

Friday night showed me two things…

Firstly, Anfield demonstrated how vital a good stadium and infrastructure is to helping a club flourish and maximise its revenue streams (ed. You had to go to Liverpool to learn that? Gerraway! you simple twat.All you need is a midden with a couple of sheds on one or more sides and a pie stand. Simples!)

Thanks for being talked at,

Little Jimmy

Original Tripe@ http//://oldhamcouncil.wordpress.com

R.I.P. --- RAPE IN PROGRESS!!!!

2012-01-06T01:23:00.002Z

ANOTHER UNIQUE PIECE OF OLDHAM'S INDUSTRIAL HERITAGE BITES THE DUST

The 135 year old railway warehouse on Park Road is no more! It was one of the few remaining storage depots surviving from the Victorian railway era and was the only example of a curved warehouse in the country. It was built on the curve to follow the railway line. Use of the building was discontinued in the 1960's and the building has lain empty ever since. Oldham Council pursuing their normal policy with heritage buildings have simply let it go to ruin as they have with numerous other buildings in the town, hoping it will burn / fall down, or become dangerous and have to be demolished to make way for modern amenities like car-parks etc.

It had recently been reported that brick and wood work on the distinctive, curved Park Road building was showing signs of buckling.

On the 23rd December 2011 The tiny twat Coun Diddy Hibbert lied:-

'This Historic building is ‘safe and secure’

The lying bastard said: “Oldham Council is aware of the concerns and issues regarding Park Road warehouse and has procedures in place to ensure the site is safe and secure.

“We have also recently carried out a structural survey of the building and council officers are in contact with English Heritage?.

“The building is inspected regularly so that any new issues that arise can be identified and remedied to ensure site safety at all times.”

Questions had been raised over the future of the Grade II listed building — which would possibly need millions of pounds to make it usable.

The decaying, council-owned building was put on the market for £1 eight years ago because its derelict condition meant it was effectively worthless. Decaying BECAUSE it was council owned!

SIX DAYS LATER!!

Fears over building forces road closure

On the 29 December 2011 Park Road was closed due to concerns over the stability of the building. Just 6 days after Oldham Council and it's lying shit of a spokesperson, the tiny twat Coun Diddy Hibbert stated the building was “safe and secure." It is understood Park Road has been closed as a precautionary measure due to the dangerous state of the Park Road railway warehouse.

Built in 1876, the building has stood derelict for decades. Now barriers have been installed on Park Road close to the junction with Kings Road as worries about the stability of the warehouse, (inspected, as you will recall six days earlier and given a clean bill of health!) mounted.

The towering curved warehouse which follows the line of the former railway line out of Oldham has been deemed effectively worthless due to it's derelict condition. Our worthless council purchased it in the 1980s, couldn't find a use for it or a buyer/developer and put the building on the market for just £1 in 2003. Since then several plans for the listed building have hit the buffers.

5th January 2012 Demolition commences
In just thirteen days this grand old lady of a forgotten era from our industrial past goes from a robustly healthy secure and safe building to a pile of rubble! Who the fuck do you think you are trying to kid you lying twat Hibbert???

Does this look like a safe and secure building? Who the fuck did the survey, Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles??? The building was derelict and you and your loathsome band of brothers are guilty of dereliction of duty in not maintaining this building, our building, may I remind you since you bought it with our money, to ensure it was weatherproof and also to try and find a use for it. How much has it cost US over the years to let it rot away??

This latest inspection comes 11 days after the warehouse was deemed safe and secure by Oldham Council.and reveals that the 1876-built warehouse is in imminent danger of collapse.

Concerns about the structure of the 78,000 sq ft building grew after parts of the roof and brickwork collapsed. Inspectors returned and said the whole structure needed demolishing. What! eleven days after they said it was safe and secure! Who the fuck are these 'inspectors' and are they still employed?? Or did one of you twats simply peer out of a window of the Tower of Doom, see the warehouse still standing and declared it fit and well??

An access platform has now been used to carry out a close-up inspection, including tests to check for structural soundness and evidence of movement in the external walls. As opposed to the drive-by inspection of the previous week?

Inspectors concluded there had been significant movement in the building since the last survey and a notice requiring urgent demolition was issued. Do they mean the last survey eleven days ago?? Perhaps the significant movement was the old girl trying to escape from this God-awful town!!

Then, the unbelievable piece of lying shite , Coun Dave Fibber, the tiny twat, said: “We need to demolish it as quickly as possible to minimise the potential health and safety risks this building now poses to the public. “The issues here are structural and serious, and a collapse could occur without warning. The issues here you little wanker are that you are an out and out bloody liar! You no more did a structural survey of this building two weeks ago than we did!

“As a council we respect our heritage," the useless tosser bleats. Where possible we’ve been able to find viable future uses that have given a new lease of life to some historic buildings.” Yeah!! and you've given a death sentence to far more to the extent we have virtually no heritage left in this town.

Coun Lyintwat added: “We can’t risk a collapse injuring residents who might be passing by or anyone who may be tempted to stray on to the site, such as pikeys with a load of tarmac .

Before Christmas, the council said the building was inspected regularly and that plans were in place to ensure the safety of the site. NOW you know just how much to trust the word of the mendacious fucks in the Tower of Babble and that little fucker Hibbert! You ever gonna believe anything he tells you ever again??? If so, fool you!!!

WE DON'T BELIEVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE RED POOL!!!

2012-01-06T01:03:00.000Z

We've just had another of our fucked up council's 'nonsultations.' The co-operative cunts invited residents to have their say on plans for new leisure facilities, mainly a swimming pool, to replace aging ones in either Royton or Shaw knowing fucking well they were going to totally disregard everybody and put a new pool in Royton.

Under the plans, Royton or Shaw and Crompton will have one new leisure facility — which also means the likely closure of Royton Sports Centre..

Hundreds of residents have voiced their opposition to the proposed closure of Crompton Pool and Fitness Centre — but we've news for them ---- It's a fucking lost cause.

Over 1,000 people expressed their views as part of the nonsultation in to the reorganisation of Oldham’s pools and leisure centres.

The nonsultation, which Oldham Council said has been “extensive” and will be totally ignored, has now ended and Cabinet members last night agreed to the building of a new leisure centre — which is likely to be located at Royton and Crompton School or in Royton town centre, which has been the plan all along. A new pool for Shaw has never been on the agenda!

Maggie Kufeldt, Oldham Council’s assistant executive director for strategic commissioning, said: “It is fair to say the nonsultation was dominated with responses about the proposed closure of the Crompton Pool and Fitness Centre and 72 per cent of the individual responses were about this proposal but we never had any intention of changing our plans. We've made the decision already, so up yours you sad tossers."

Who the fuck is this Maggie Kufflink? What the the fuck is an 'assistant executive director for strategic commissioning'? How the fuck much are we paying this chair polisher? Who appointed the fucker? Oh, let's guess! It's yet another of Charlie Chuckle's bits of skirt, (£140,000 per annum and ever so grateful)!

Whoever the stupid bitch is she warbles- “The new leisure proposals are designed to develop an exciting yet efficient leisure offering that delivers revenue and savings and offers excellent value for money to council taxpayers.” Not if it's not what we want it doesn't! But, fuck the people! This isn't about them. This is about more kudos for the bunch of reptiles up that sodding tower.

Coun Huge McDonald, cabinet member for children, young people, family and leisure, said potential relocation sites have not yet been identified. YOU LYING BASTARD! McDonation. It's been a done deal from the off! Whoever put this sack of shit in charge of a department for children, young people, family and leisure? Do YOU want him holding the future of the young people of Oldham in his money grabbing paws? What experience does he bring of any of the four sections? The man is a scrote, he has always been a scrote and there is little possibility of change a'coming!

The cocksucker said - “It has been a very comprehensive report and we have had a number of objections or comments mainly around Glodwick, Shaw and the centre of Oldham. and officers will be going away to do more work on it. This will involve designing a fresh glossy cover for the report showing an artists impression of the new Royton pool."

“At this stage," he lied, "we have not identified the location of the replacement sites and that will be done at another meeting.”

This meeting is set to be later last month.."

Oldham’s sports and leisure facilities are currently provided by Oldham Community Leisure (OCLL), but this contract is due to expire in March, 2013. This is yet another part of Oldham council responsibility hived off to outside interests (for a large sum) because the fuckpigs have no interest, ability or desire to actually get up off their lard arses and do what they were supposedly elected to do, namely run the fucking town.

Councillors for the two Towns

ROYTON SHAW

Chadderton Dillon

Judge Dillon

Larkin Alcock (By name not nature)

Bashforth Blyth

Harrison Sykes

Wingate

KEY :- Names in RED are Lie-bour councillors
Names in Yellow are Lib-Dumbocrats

Oldham Council is currently ~~controlled~~ being dragged down by The Lie-bour Party.

A small award offered for anyone who can come up with a reason why the twats will favour Royton!

FORTY MILES OF BAD ROAD!

2011-12-25T02:13:00.000Z

To our loyal reader (we know who you are). We thank you for sticking with us through this trying time for the town we love. The Wulfe team wishes you a very Happy Christmas and a prosperous New Year.

To The wasters in the Tower Of Babble, our wish for them is what they wish upon us .....!!

If you enjoyed the Wulfe this last twelve months then stick with us next year when things could get really bad.

If you didn't enjoy the Wulfe - Then why the fuck did you stay? Go read some really funny shit at Little Jimmy Pudden-Face's blog. It's better than Billy's Weekly Liar!!

Cheers!! B.B.W.

..AND WHAT DID SANTA GIVE YOU FOR CHRISTMAS??

2011-12-25T00:39:00.001Z

Well, fuck me with the broad end of a rag-mans trumpet!!!! No sooner do we bemoan the fact that the tossers in the tower have failed to re-open Limecroft Care Home as promised, than they go and do it.

Here we see the usual suspects at the grand opening. All smiles and smugness at their great achievement. But at what cost to us poor buggers has this been achieved?

In June, Oldham Council agreed to restore the 20-bed residential care home to full use and have undertaken refurbishment work costing £624,000 including new carpets and furnishings. That's 624 grand for wallpaper, paint, curtains, carpet and furniture. Not for non-essentials like en-suite facilities for the TWENTY residents!

After this quick tarting up what have the knobheads decided? Against all their 'professed' Lie-bour dogma they have given the fuckin' place away to an outfit called 'Meridian Healthcare!!' Privatisation of health services? Well local MP Debbie Abrahams won't stand for that will she? It's against everything she 'believes' in. Isn't it? Oh hang on a mo' Who's that in the middle of the group grinning like a Cheshire cat? Two faced twats aren't they?

Have you ever seen such a picture as this, full of wasted time, money and space, from the absentee pillock at the left to the FA Cup on the right. Not a days work between 'em!

Now, having spent £624,000 of our money which we haven't got, they are now drawing up Plans for a £2 million scheme to create en-suite facilities and extend the capacity to 40 beds. 400 jobs to go says council. Let's spend, spend, spend says council. Anyone seen ONE money saving measure since the turds took over? Do you want to bet on 400 jobs going? Lie-bour slash jobs? Slash their vote share? If you believe that watch Santa's reindeer don't crap on your head tonight.

Councillor Phil Hardlysane, limp member for adult social services and Health, said: “When the new administration took control in May we pledged to residents that we would reopen Limecroft and we have made good on that promise. What we didn't tell them was we didn't have a clue as to how to run it so we had to give it away.

More money down the drain. Paying other people for doing the jobs we used to do with ease. Money is leaving the borough at a faster and faster rate because these incompetents are unable to cover even the basic services. It is too easy to spend other people's money! The rot is spreading downwards from the top as the idle bastards find less and less to do as they lavish money on third parties to do their jobs.

Why not get rid of all council workers? Pay 'Fleessum, Grabbitt and Scarper' to 'run' all our essential services while the gobshites sit around being 'co-operative' and digging deeper and deeper into the trough!!!

Ain't it a weird feeling having the town run by bunches of chancers from all around the country? Every day, less and less of the town is ours!

LET'S RECLAIM THE TOWN!!

THE GMP XMAS PUB CRAWL!!!

2011-12-24T23:37:00.000Z

A CHADDERTON pub, The Sportsman in Denton Lane, has been shut down temporarily after police found class A and B drugs when the pub was raided at 7.20pm on Sunday.

Insp Paul Walker told Oldham Council's licensing panel how he was met by more than 40 “anti-police” people in the pub and that two small children were playing next to a table with cocaine under it. A man was found snorting cocaine in the toilets.

David Kent, solicitor for Greater Manchester Police, asking for the pub’s licence to be suspended, said officers found bags of cannabis with a street value of £500 in living accommodation above the bar, as well as £3,000 in cash.

He added: “We believe there has been serious crime committed by way of possession of class B drugs with intent to supply. Class A drugs were found in the bar with children playing close by _ this is a community pub.”

Finbar Tuite, the premises’ licence holder, denied there had been any physical threats to police and said if people were aggressive it was probably because they felt their night out had been disrupted.

Members of the licensing panel meeting yesterday afternoon decided to temporarily suspend the pub’s licence.

Chairman, Councillor John Battye said the panel was satisfied the pub was involved with illicit drugs and suspended the licence until January 17, when a full review will be heard.

Supt Gary Simpson said: “This pub is associated with organised crime and following our intelligence-led operation two of those arrested have been given fixed-penalty notices and two have been cautioned for possession of class A or B drugs.”

No further action has been taken against four people for possession of class A drugs.

A 38-year old man was arrested for possession with intent to supply cannabis, and has been bailed until February pending police inquiries.

A couple of things stand out: The GMP solicitor says The Sportsman is a "community pub."
Supt Simpson of GMP says The pub is associated with organised crime.
So which is it? Can GMP agree on anything? Is it a community of organised criminals? A community of anti-police people? Children were playing close by: what were they playing, Strip Happy Families?

In as few words as possible explain why you think people were "anti-police" at 7:20 pm on a Sunday night, when, as they enjoyed a convivial evening, God knows how many of our finest stormed this den of iniquity?

Explain your understanding of the term - "intelligence led operation." Was Insp Walker the officer guarding the GMP brain-cell that evening , if so does he consider the result a "result"?

Out of 40 plus people in the pub at the time of 'The Raid" We have two receiving fixed penalty fines - and two cautioned. No action has been taken against four others, but one unlucky bastard has been bailed, pending further enquiries.

Two fixed penalty notices out of all that brouhaha and they wonder why they stumbled upon a pub full of "anti-police" people!

But....Finally - Take a look again at that Licensing Committee! Look who we have as chairman sitting in judgement on others. 'BATTYE THE BENT' The biggest piece of slime to have crawled out of the sewer that is Oldham Council! The lying, duplicitous, conniving piece of shit responsible, via his failed dirty tricks campaign, for the ousting of Fill Woolyass from his position as MP for OE & Saddleworth.

What is the matter with the Lie-bour party in this town? Have they forgotten this shameful incident already or were they complicit with the act? Why after his despicable tricks was this charlatan allowed to stand again as a local councillor? Could the local Lie-bour party not find someone with at least a pretence at principles to put forward? Probably not! The whole fucking lot are bereft of morals and bent as corkscrews. This demonstrates how low Lie-bour have sunk in their desperation to cling onto any vestige of power. No wonder this town has become a laughing stock! Little Jimmy Pudden-Face and his co-operative council! Aye, they're all co-operating. With each other to fill their pockets and bollocks to us poor fuckers!

Bah Fucking Humbug!!

HIGH STREET EXTRAVAGANZA!

2011-12-15T00:48:00.000Z

Just how bad are things in our town centre??

This is but one of a series of 'Spotlights' on various parts of what remains of the town centre. This series has been running in the local paper, The Oldham Evening Chronicle for several days.

This piece features the High Street once the main shopping artery through the town. As a measure of how far we have sunk this Christmas advertising campaign managed to feature just Five shops. These being: Meeks - Shoe Shop, Simpsons - Jewellers, and NW Bullion, who are after buying your old gold. These shops are on High Street. The other two stores : Frillys - lacy lady things and Specsavers - opticians are on Lord Street and Curzon Street respectively. That is the sum total of Christmas advertising from High Street Oldham. Two of the outlets are not what you would call Christmassy stores so that leaves just three stores vying for your custom this Festive Season.

Was it worth turning on the spotlight? Is anyone in the 'corridors of power looking at these things and wondering is it my fault? How many stores will be left to entice us by the time the unwanted Metrostench arrives and the town centre is regenerated? This feature is a truly awful indictment of the way our shopping centre has been neglected and allowed to slip away. If anyone reading this truly believes that the town centre will be regenerated by the arrival of trams at the bottom of the St Peter's cliff face you are severely deluded. It will be a ghost train not a tram service.

The situation will probably get much worse after the Christmas rush (Ha!). Several store chains are in serious financial trouble so expect closures to accelerate in the new year.

We might have had four stores on High Street advertising in this feature but Barratt/Priceless shoe stores went into administration last week so expect more lavish displays of brown paper.

One can only sympathise with the remaining traders battling to survive in the town. There is no help or relief from the twats in the Ivory Tower. Everything possible has been done to deter folk from visiting the town centre. The way the fucking clowns are performing, every bastard road in the town will be closed by Christmas.

This cannot go on much longer!! We have to put a stop to the rot!!

Beware you greedy, self serving,clueless bastards. We are coming!!

PS. OEC we think Environs would have been a better word

.....AND BY GOLLY IT DOES YOU GOOD!!

2011-12-14T20:24:00.002Z

Oldham Beer Festival moves back to Queen Elizabeth Hall
Thanks to a one-year grant of £4,600 from Jim McMahon, Oldham council leader

400 jobs to go at Oldham Council as £24m cuts are agreed
OMBC council leader, Jim McMahon, agrees axing of up to 400 jobs in bid to save £24m

The annual event was axed from the town centre venue two years ago when the Lib-Dem-run Oldham Council asked for maximum rent for the hall hire, which would have left no money in the kitty to hand out to local charities.

Little Jimmy Pudden-Face has now secured its return to its favoured former venue for 2012 with a subsidy of £4,600.

The one-year agreement of £4,600 will cover the rental cost of the Queen Elizabeth Hall. The rent for the QE Hall will return to the council. So why do we have to have this rigmarole? Why not just let the festival organisers use the place for free cos that's all they are doing now. Couldn't be just a publicity stunt for the dough-faced wunderkind, surely? It will distract your mind from the dire straits the town is in though.

Council leader, Jim McMahon, said: “I was approached by the beer festival organisers and have agreed to support this event for 2012 with a donation from the Leadership Priority Investment Fund."

Let's get this straight! When the Pudden says HE has decided to support the event what he forgets to add is "with your money." If this is the leaders priority it reveals the shallow depths of thinking from a so called leader. The two article headlines above, appeared adjacent to each other in the local paper. Did it make you feel good, the chosen 400? Did you all feel a glow of goodwill toward your caring council?

The vapid prick said. “I decided to support the event because I believe the beer festival is an important part of the cultural offer in our borough." That's the problem with this town a 'public piss-up' is classed as a cultural offering

From Cloud Cuckoo Land the whey faced one bleats, “Hosting it at the QE hall brings in hundreds of visitors to our town centre – often from many miles around, which helps to boost our town-centre trade."
What fucking trade? Have you not noticed, Jimmy baby, the town centre has gone to hell in a handcart while you and your band of ne'er-do-wells, preen and posture like the clueless fucking idiots you are?
Do you ever think that people coming from 'many miles around' are probably coming from towns that still cling to the old fashioned ways and have town centres full of stores that are actually open and not just window displays of brown paper?

You say that 'beer drinking is not your bag' ??? Maybe you should try it sometime and get out on the piss! You take it out of us often enough!!!! It might clear your eyes to the shite all around!

CHEERS!!!

THIS WEEKS RECIPE: SLOW COOKED BOOKS!

2011-12-14T18:36:00.001Z

Former chef takes charge of academy

It could only happen in to Oldham

A former chef turned fast-track school leader has been appointed to the top job at Oasis Academy Oldham. Fucking great! The third leader for the scam that is Oasis Academy and it's not even up and running properly yet!
David Hayes will replace interim principal Sir Iain Hall who stepped in after the sudden departure, at a fast run, of his predecessor who was in the job long enough for everyone to forget his name.

Mr Hayes qualified as a chef after leaving school before going into teaching. His first post was as a PE teacher at Brookfield High School, Kirkby, and he then spent a year working at the Japanese International School in Hong Kong. He returned to Brookfield before becoming a national manager with the Youth Sport Trust for three years. He worked at Kirkby Sports College before joining Oasis Academy MediaCityUK. He was part of the National College Future Leaders programme to fast-track talented head teachers. How do you know if someone is a talented headteacher if they have never been a headteacher? Have you noticed lately that almost everyone appointed to some sinecure or other in the town has had a plethora of previous jobs? For instance look up Charlie's CV! Flitting about from one non-job to another. Don't stay long enough to get sussed!

He said: “I am delighted to have been appointed." I bet he fucking is! I guess the Wulfe didn't make the shortlist.
"There are wonderful people here, both in the academy and in our wider community." How the fuck has he come to this decision so rapidly? he hasn't got his feet under a desk yet!
"It’s a place where I can come in and hit the ground running." Yep! You're right there. Far as we know your predecessor is still running, but then again we heard HE was a quick learner.

"There are great things in store for Oasis Academy Oldham.” Must be the only store with any sort of things, left in Oldham then!

Oasis Academy Oldham replaced South Chadderton and Kaskenmoor Schools in September, 2010. It will move into a new multi-million building for 1,500 pupils in Hollinwood next year. Where the local road infrastructure and parking facilities will make the area an 'Oasis' of calm.

How long before he's off, chasing er, you know, thingummy?

What next? Pork Butcher from Jerusalem appointed Borough Solicitor?? ......Hmmm!

WHAT TIME'S NEXT TRAM - 2030 - HALF PAST EIGHT EH? NO 2030!

2011-12-13T00:26:00.003Z

Here we go again!

The fucking Metrostink opening has been postponed yet again. The brainfarts at TfGM having spent millions over the past several years on the new wonder of the world -The Tram Management System, have discovered an interesting fact about it. It doesn't fucking work! So we are doomed to another twelve months in the fucking wilderness while the tossers fuck about with their toys. The way the town centre is collapsing it won't matter very shortly anyway. There will be sod all we need a tram for (not that we wanted it in the first place).

According to Ann Arsewipe (spokesperson for TfGM) "The new Tram Management System (TMS), can electronically map tram positions and automatically control points and signals." But not while the trams are fucking running unfortunately.

During trials at Media City last September the system caused severe disruption and as the non-planners at TfGM have chucked all their eggs in one basket, we are fucked and the line to Oldham Mumps, which was due to open in March, 2012, will open even later than planned next year (if at all), according to a report considered by Transport for Greater Manchester.

An update report will be considered by TfGM in January. Yeah, take your time lads! We're trapped in the land that time forgot with the town disappearing around us while you set of bell-ends piss about with your Sinclair Spectrums. If after all this fucking about, the golden lifeline isn't going to be running before the back end of next year, what's the point of taking it to Mumps? The Union Street Total Waste Of Time Scheme (USTWOTS) ~~will be~~ ~~should be~~ ~~may be~~ is due to be completed about then. Can you see what's gonna happen folks? The first three trams will run to Mumps then everything will stop once more while they dig the twatting thing up and transfer everything to Union St.

"Ultimately, all the lines will be controlled by the new system, which will allow more trams to run on the network, as well as giving drivers and controllers the ability to manage vehicle schedules." The fucking system can't control one line never mind all of them. This is another major IT fuck up! It will cost us untold millions while three nerds, whose only experience of running a light rail system was gleaned from the Thomas The Tank engine sets they had as kids, piss about, before eventually admitting defeat and we are reduced to running all trams with a flagman walking in front with a red flag.

A spokesprick said. "A two or three month delay may arise on the already-delayed Rochdale extension." Ha ,Ha, Ha . Do you want to take bets on two months (50/1), three months (33/1) or a lot longer (1/2)?

Philip Purdy, TfGM’s Metrolink director, said: “The new operating system is a fundamental part of the expansion: ultimately, we simply cannot have one without the other." That's it then. We're fucked! Why does the system have to control the whole network? Trams on the Oldham/Rochdale spur will not be going to Altrincham or Eccles or Bury. We didn't need all this shit when we had a perfectly good rail system. They managed to run without all these fancy PMT systems and computerised garbage. Signalmen switched points and changed signals, it worked for a fucking long time. Why not do a spot of job creation and reduce the chances of the nine-fifteen from Mumps terminating four months later in fucking Wythenshawe? Who the fuck, apart from all the anally challenged job preservers at TfGM wants to know that the next tram will be along in two and a half minutes (or not)?

“The first stage of introducing the new system is to integrate the new with the old in a way that has the least impact on existing services." If WE had some sort of service of any kind, then maybe WE could cease impacting our heads against the brick wall in a failing attempt to take away the pain.

“We share the frustrations of people waiting patiently to use the services, especially as construction of the new lines is going well." No you don't share our frustrations! You fuck and fart about in your plush offices day in day out, then piss off 'ome to your Cheshire Set, while WE sit for fucking hours in interminable roadworks and traffic jams, of your making, as we struggle to make our way around a town with no cohesive transport policy

Let's look at - "Construction of the new lines is going so well.......?????"
To RE-LAY 12 miles in two years? Average 6 mls per yr. - Between 1863 & 1869 Union Pacific & Central Pacific Railroads LAID 1756 miles of track between Sacramento & Council Bluffs, Iowa. Avge 293 miles per yr. In 2 yrs 586miles. At Metrolink speeds it would have taken the RR's 293 yrs to complete the line. It wouldn't have been finished until the yr 2156, by then no-one would want it. A nice symmetry eh? Why don't we re-name Mumps, Council Bluffs?

“This is about the safe operation of a network that will be three times the size it is now, so we cannot cut any corners.” Speed we're going we won't reach the corner 'til Oldham Wakes. The only thing we reckon worth cutting is just south of thi gob!

You couldn't make this shit up!!!!

STABLE-DOOR- HORSE-BOLTED....YOU KNOW THE SCENARIO!!

2011-12-11T20:23:00.001Z

COUNCIL officers are preparing tight restrictions on new town centre takeaways, Oldham Town Centre Partnership reports.What and who is this mysterious 'partnership' apart from being another allowance gathering exercise??

A document, which could come into action next year, will outline strict criteria for consent. COULD???? NEXT YEAR???? Don't hold your fucking breath then folks. It is another Jimmy Pudden-Face, 'Blairwash' - Talk about it for a month or so, do nowt and by next year the idiot masses will have forgotten about it.

Coun Jackie Starturn, the Mystic Meg of the Derker Wastelands, (clothes-pegs and lucky heather a speciality), a partnership board member, (or should that be 'bored' as in should be reamed out), hopes it will curb the number of takeaways in the town centre. She said: “Takeaways cheapen our town centre." How the fuck can you devalue something that has a value at present of about one and ninepence, (ask yer grandad!). ~~Parts~~ Most of the town centre looks closed during the day, with their shutters down.” Not to mention the brown-paper window displays of those businesses that have legged it. It doesn't just 'look' closed down, it is closed down, most of it permanently.

Partnership members recommended refusal of a planned hot-food takeaway in Union Street, opposite Sainsbury’s. This would put it next to the imminent Oldham Central Metrosink stop. OOOoooh! we wouldn't want visitors to our fair borough to see anything as uncouth as a takeaway would we? What a fucking shock awaits them when they climb the Col St. Pierre to what used to be the town centre.

Another board member, Coun Dave(Here he fucking is again) Hibbert, said: “What we don’t need any more of in the town centre is takeaways. People coming off the tram will not want to see a takeaway.” Who are these 'people' coming off the tram? Whence have they come? Where the fuck are they going and why?

By the way Diddy Dave what we don't really need any more of in this town is useless scrotes like yourself who couldn't run a fucking bath!

The partnership said the proposal, recommended for refusal by the board, did nothing to develop the variety and quality of the town centre. Just run that by us again will you Diddy and the Gang! Develop the variety and quality of the town????? What cocksucking variety? It's a town of pound-stores and cheap clothes stores and as for quality - sex shops would turn their noses up at opening among the dross that passes as the 'town centre shopping experience.'

It's much too late for remedial measures. The town centre tipped past the point of no return a long while ago.
Metrosink or no Metrosink there are no incentives for people to shop here and there are certainly no incentives for new retail outlets to open up here. Anyone can see that a one way drain has been opened and the lifeblood of this town is leaking away faster and faster. Anyone, that is, apart from the amoebas on Little Jimmy Pudden-face's gravy train of a 'partnership.'

It's too fucking late you tossers!!! In search of every fucking pound you could glean from all the shite outlets opening in the town centre, you greedy bastards have sold us all down the river. It's not often you can make pig-shit out of a silk purse but you worthless wankers have managed to pull it off! We hope you are proud of your achievements! I can tell you WE hate the fucking sight and sound of you! You are a fucking disgrace to this town! Beware! We are coming!

TAKIN' CARE OF BIZNESS!!

2011-12-11T19:22:00.001Z

REMEMBER THIS??

Oldham Lie-bour Chronicle 7 June 2011

Note the subtil placement of Diddy Dave 'Fibber' Hibbert to make the most of his towering presence.

OR THIS??

Oldham Lie-bour Chronicle 21 July 2011

Four bids to run Limecroft home

DISCUSSIONS are under way with four local authority arms-length trusts over the future of Limecroft Care Home in Limeside.

The home had closed under the previous administration on March 31 due to council cuts but the new Cabinet voted last month to reopen it within six months.

Cabinet member for adult services and health, Councillor Philip Harrison, said Tameside, Stockport, Manchester and Wigan had been asked to submit a bid with their proposals for a specialist residential respite service.

A three-year contract will be awarded late September and the home reopened December 1.

So! Are the residents now safely ensconced in Limecroft? Did we have the grand re-opening on Dec 1st? Did we miss it? Has that smear of protozoan ooze pictured above been quarantined inside to prevent the rest of us becoming affected by the brain eating virus of which they are carriers?

NAH!!! It's just the usual Lie-bour 'Blairfest' Promise, promise, promise, until people actually believe you have delivered, then quietly drop it.

New Lie-bour promise clock up and running in sidebar. I can see we'll have dozens of these before this lot are rumbled.

ALL ROADS LEAD TO........

2011-12-10T23:01:00.001Z

Listen you numbfucks! Can you not understand simple directions??

We have told you several times that sections of Union Street could be open over Christmas then again we could be completely wrong and you will find long stretches closed or one way heading toward you.
.
Some of it will be open in both directions, but probably not at the same time. Parts of it will open both ways for some of the time and some of it will close part of the time. None of it will open one way unless it is in the other direction. We will ~~erect~~ ~~display~~ ~~post~~ probably not bother with Signs. There's nowhere to go anyway. The town centre will be closed forthwith. The town centre shop will remain open for business but you must phone in your order and one of their intrepid explorers will deliver via mountain-bike.

As you have been told on umpteen fucking occasions Metrostink 'workers' will put down the tool, (it's a long handled, "Terraslicer" left handed shovel actually), on Dec 22 and will sod off for two or three weeks of R&R in warmer climes, where they will piss their productivity bonuses up the wall. Oh, by the way, did we mention the whole job has been put back for months once again?

Anyhow read the fucking notices! Part of the road is closed in one direction (not sure which), while we shaft you left right and centre into thinking that something important is going on.

Paragraph - The fourth. A tosspot, Don Wagstaff, who calls himself "A Planning Officer" tells us the work may be finished by Christmas, but then again...... He says workers don't know what is under the surface until they get down there, who knows what they may find? Apart from thousands of tons of congealed chicken fat, blocking the sewers, that is. OK enough! Who called 'The planning Officer' a cunt? Better yet who called the cunt a 'Planning Officer'? He couldn't plan a wank if he'd only one arm. We're not likely to find out what horrors lurk beneath that calm and placid thoroughfare any time soon. It will probably be around the time of the Spring equinox when the hungover bastards arrive back skint, looking for the tool they downed aeons before.

Finally, up he pops once again - Diddy Dave 'Fibber' Hibbert, washing his hands of the whole affair as usual. "It's not our fault," he bleats. " Some operations are outside of our control." You have no control you bleeding arsewipe! You and the rest of the band of thieves and rogues in The Ivory Tower lost control of happenings in this town years ago. That's why the town is the shit heap it has now become! If there was any justice we should bury you and your brother deadbeats under the fucking tramline then we could stomp on your fucking heads every time we crossed Union Street to go into Poundtown.

The lying little weaselly shite says, " As a council we are committed to minimising disruption." As a council, WE think you should all be committed, straitjackets, rubber rooms, the full monty.

The little gobshite, who is rapidly becoming the Jeremy Sutcliffe of the modern era, simpers "We apologise for any inconvenience caused." You little turd!!! Fuck off with the crocodile tears. You and the bent brotherhood have been inconveniencing us for years. And you still don't give a fuck!!!
One day we are going to make you and your fellow troughers listen to us. Be prepared! We are coming!

...IT'S THE POOR WOT GETS THE BLAME!!

2011-11-29T01:39:00.001Z

The following appeared in Fausty's Libertarian Blog the other day. He'd borrowed it from elsewhere, so we've 'borrowed' it from him and made a couple of changes. The theme of the original was 'How Government works.' We've changed the names to expose the guilty!!

How The Council works

Once upon a time the council had a huge empty building in the middle of nowhere. Cabinet said, "Someone may break in at night, looking for something to steal." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.

Then Cabinet said, "How does the night watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.

Then Cabinet asked, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.

Then Cabinet said, "How are these people going to get paid and administered?" So they created the following positions, two time keepers and three payroll officers, and then hired four human resources consultants and five health and safety executives.

Then Cabinet said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative section and hired fifty people including administrative officers, assistant administrative officers, legal secretaries and a chief executive on £213,000 per annum.

Then Cabinet said, "We have been in power for nearly a year and we are £40,000,000 over budget, we must cutback the overall cost."

So they laid off the night watchman!

Does this sound like anyone we know? Do you think this little tale could apply to a real local authority? If so, which one? Answers on a postcard to: Little Jimmy Pudden-Face, Parker's Folly, West St. Oldham.

THE FAMLY ARE GATHERED AROUND THE BEDSIDE......

2011-11-29T00:49:00.001Z

Support services group Mouchel in debt turmoil

Mouchel, Oh hell!
Sont des mots qui vont tres bien ensemble
Tres bien ensemble

The beleaguered support services group Mouchel is battling for survival this weekend as is it attempts to reach a debt deal with its lenders.

Sir Michael Lyons, the former BBC Trust chairman, is still in talks with banks about refinancing the company’s £170m of bank facilities and is attempting to reach an agreement before the company announces delayed annual results on Tuesday.

The banks, Royal Bank of Scotland?, Lloyds and Barclays, are “fully supportive” of Mouchel according to the company, despite the fact it is expected to breach covenants just months after a £170m refinancing in January which Mouchel hailed as a “turning point” This is business speak for, 'The banks are about to throw us under the bus.'

In the past few weeks Mouchel has raised cash by selling its pipeline design business for £2.6m to private company Mott MacDonald and its rail business for £3.4m to Sinclair Knight Merz. The company has said its executive team “remain focused on the steps necessary to secure the future of the company." How many more pieces of the 'family silver' do they have left to sell before there is nothing left? The company is haemorrhaging money and is not picking up new council contracts due to the economic climate.

Mouchel has been badly affected by public spending cuts because two–thirds of its clients are local government authorities, which are seeing budgets squeezed as a result of central government’s continued focus on austerity measures. That's er....Us folks. Still they sit and lade and teem our money when they can't even run their own shambles of an operation. How much over the top are they costing us? What will happen if they go tits up? Who then will run the town?

Analysts are forecasting a 14pc drop in revenues for the year to July 31 with pre-exceptional pre-tax profits crashing by two thirds.

Source Daily Telegraph Sat 26 Nov 2011

Still, we'll be alright once the trams start running!!

WE DIG DIG DIG DIG DIG UP EVERYTHING IN SIGHT!

2011-11-25T22:55:00.001Z

IMPORTANT INFORMATION FOR ROAD USERS IN OLDHAM

LATEST UPDATE: If venturing into the City of Lost Souls. Take at least two changes of clothing, food and drink to last a minimum of three days and a porta-pottee. Also useful would be a copy of Bear Grylls new book on surviving in Oldham's treacherous hinterland, entitled: 'Fuck Me! I'm bleeding lost!' price £12.99 from Waterstuns but getting there to buy it may be a problem.

Here is the latest update on the road closures, diversions and other related fucking nonsense, being foisted upon the long suffering citizens of this borough by the fuckwits in the tower. This is part of the ongoing plan, to isolate the town from the rest of the world, known as the Streamlined Hi-speed Integrated Transport Experiment or as locals call it S.H.I.T.E. (Oldham)

This weekend the roundabout at Mumps ~~Bridge~~ ~~Overpass~~ ~~level crossing~~ ~~Crossroads~~ ~~Death Trap~~ Thingy has been removed. It has been sold to Milton Keynes who have a huge collection of the things. The removal of this redundant street obstruction will enable the New Super Trams to have a straight run across the six lanes of traffic that were once controlled by this gyratory governor. Viewing platforms will be erected so locals can sit and watch the carnage unfold as motorists play ‘Beat The Tram.’

Coun Dave Hibbert, cabinet member for traipsing and degeneration, said: “These are significant changes to Mumps which show that work to bring Metrolink to our borough is firmly on-track. On-track! get it? I wish Hibbert was fucking tied to it!

“Mumps is the major traffic junction in and around Oldham town centre and although signs will guide traffic to all sorts of fascinating places, I’d also urge motorists to please try and familiarise yourself with these changes and the best routes to Bury, Bolton, Ashton etc., before we start with the job. We know one or two of you are against the plans. What the fuck do I care about that? I'm arrogant Dave and I know better than any of you fucking serfs."

“All of this will enable the start of work to create a fantastic new integrated transport facility around the former B&Q site that will eventually benefit those using cars, buses and trams alike." Why do we now have to have an 'Integrated Transport Facility'? We had to manage without one when we had the trains. The trams are supposed to be cruising Union St eventually. Why would anyone, wanting to go to what is left of the town centre, want to go to Mumps and catch a bus back? This ITF is nowt more than another fucking bus-station. Move the seven we have on Cheapside down to Mumps. We could then use the land to erect something useful.(maybe a gibbet to reduce the number of chair polishers in the council chamber). The whole of the area around Mumps/ B&Q should have been developed as a leisure park. THAT would maybe bring people INTO Oldham. But no! The cocksuckers in the Ivory Tower can see no further than car-parks, their only growth industry. Trouble with this town is, we don't make enough noise. Be warned. Once the cockwaffles have had their way it will be too late to start complaining.

Coun Fibber continued, “The end of the Mumps roundabout, and the opening of the new link road into the town centre from Oldham Way, are a major part of our plans to remodel this area and redefine it as a new gateway ~~into~~ out of Oldham.” Remodel the fucking area!!! Much like you and your barmpot troughing cronies have 'remodeled the town centre I shouldn't wonder. Though you probably can't make it much worse than the derelict slum it is now.

"Unfortunately, for you that is, the changes will mean cars will no longer be able to access the bottom of Yorkshire Street adjacent to Mumps, which will now form part of the construction area." But local traffic will still be able to access Beever Street, Regent Street and Wallshaw Street from Yorkshire Street by following the diversion signs for Blackburn and Darwen giving drivers a clear run at the area from t'other side of town. This will add approx 90 mins to a trip from say Clarksfield to Regent Street

"Passengers using town-centre bound buses currently stopping at Mumps will now have to find another stop somewhere else. That's not our problem. We have enough to do booking flash hotels for our next jolly and making sure our allowances claim forms are submitted on time." "Services travelling out of town will not be affected." Funny how everything leaving the village of the damned is running fine. It's just getting into and across this benighted and blighted borough that is the problem

"Bus lanes along Huddersfield Road and Ripponden Road have also been temporarily opened up to all vehicles to ease congestion in the area." What's the betting the cock-sucking bus-drivers want to use them now!

Diddy Dave added: “We recognise the sheer scale of these ongoing works has meant frustrating times for motorists in recent months." “We appreciate your patience and have listened to concerns about signage, which we are reviewing and improving daily in response to what drivers and local businesses are telling us.

“We’re also doing whatever we can, wherever possible, to ease congestion – especially in the run-up to the vital Christmas and new year trading period." "We'll try and ease the pain, but you're not going anywhere fast so why not enjoy yourselves and bring a little festive cheer into the town. Our Chief Executive has bought a box of Christmas ornaments (well, when we say bought he actually only signed for them on the council account at Parties-R-Us) He is going to put them up on a prominent building in the town. The location is supposed to be a secret but if you want to see Charlie's balls being hung on the old Town Hall be there Saturday mid-day.

Trams are expected to arrive at the new temporary Oldham Mumps stop by spring. People in Eccles and Altrincham expect them to arrive there EVERY day but it quite frequently doesn't come to pass.

Enough, already. Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty.

UNION STREET

From Monday - Union Street will be one way in the opposite direction - until further notice.
On alternate Mondays and even-dated Wednesdays this flow will be reversed, apart that is from those occasions when two-way traffic will be permitted westbound between Greaves Street and Clegg Street and eastbound between Queen Street and Retiro Street.
Queen Street and Retiro Street will become pedestrian only zones. Greaves Street and Clegg Street will be closed to traffic for ever such a long time.
From Tuesday Union Street will be closed at one end.
Work will commence almost nearly at once on building a huge tram stop at the Star Inn end of Union Street to service ‘Chicken City’- Oldham’s gourmet dining area where you can sample all the delights of Kentucky/Alabama/Tennessee/Nepal/Kashmir/ Bulgaria/ Tristan Da Cunha/ Antarctica/Latvia/Gaza Strip/ Ethiopia/Galapagos/Tasmania/Wales, Fried Chicken. For you aficionados the remaining three non-food outlets on Union Street are being converted so you will shortly be able to sample the delights of - Papua-New Guinea/North Korea and Turkey Fried Chicken. A real treat for the discerning palate. Though I must say I have tried most of them and mainly they taste just like chicken. Hey, Ho!

THROUGH TRAFFIC

FROM SADDLEWORTH TO MANCHESTER- Allow extra journey time - set off the night before. If it is essential you get to Manchester every morning - sell your house - move to Newton Heath. In the meantime follow signs marked ‘Diversion.’ When these peter out follow ‘Alternate Route’ signs until you pick up the M65 near Nelson. Park in Nelson - There is an excellent bus service (X43) to Manchester.

TO AND FROM SHAW AND CROMPTON - Access will be severely disrupted due to ongoing work on the Ghost Train and the demolition of Shaw which will be starting any day now. From Ashton - Probably best not to bother. From Saddleworth head for Jct 22 on the M62 head down to the Shaw exit and attack it from t’other side. Leaving Shaw - Make sure you turn the light out and lock the door.

FROM MANCHESTER - Motorists heading up Oldham Road will be stopped at Hollinwood, given a stern warning about their foolhardy behaviour then turned around and sent back to civilisation.

YORKSHIRE STREET - ‘Ghost Town ‘ Tour buses will leave at irregular intervals (Five or six days) from the pay and display car park on the old Conservative Club/Mountainfeet site, taking tourists on sightseeing tours of our excavations, historic buildings and other piles of rubble that are our heritage. Heading up Yorkshire Street they will meet little oncoming traffic as the street has been converted into a skateboard ramp from the Greaves Arms to the Artizans Rest (or whatever poncy fucking name it goes under nowadays). This is world’s end (Has anyone noticed that Yorkshire Street between Fairbottom Street and Scholes Street is ‘misssing ‘ on Google Streetwatch? Too much for them to stomach I wager.)

WATERLOO STREET - Affectionately known to locals as The Khyber pass this will become the main thoroughfare out of town to Rochdale, Huddersfield and Lees. Beware of two or more vehicles parked in the middle of the road while the drivers chat about the vicissitudes of their working day. Only luxury vehicles (over £60,000) with adequately blacked out windows and 500 million giga-watt sound systems will be allowed through. This strip is, like, private, innit. No wot a meen?

FROM MUMPS TO ROYAL OLDHAM HOSPITAL - Easiest way - walk up to Rhodes Bank - throw yourself under “Ghost Town’ tour bus - await arrival of ambulance - travel to Hospital in recumbent luxury. If you must drive, take Yorkshire Street to Curzon Street - go through market Hall - turn left you’re on Henshaw Street - up to Coldhurst Street - zoom! You’re there.

LEES ROAD traffic will be diverted down Cross Street - Up Greenacres Road - Stamford Road - High Street - Lees Road. This is the ‘groundhog’ route. Not much use for you wankers coming down from Saddleworth, but at least it keeps you out of the town centre and you won’t have time for whingeing.

BUS STATIONS - The present seven bus stations will be dismantled and together with a further four will be re-erected at Failsworth Pole. Little Jimmy Pudden Face, first citizen and saviour of our town says this is the only sensible solution as the folk of Failsworth have been waiting a long time for modern services. The buses will service the new Town Hall and the shortly to be built, Olympic Swimming Pool, Sports Hall, Assembly Hall, Twenty Screen Cinema, Bowling Alley, Ice Skating Rink, Shopping Mall, (PF World 1M sq ft ), Forty storey Hilton Hotel, Museum and Art Gallery, Marina (useful for the Royal Leader’s yacht), Two Casinos, Three Nightclubs, Mainline Rail Station, Wrigley Head Disneyland, 600 bed Teaching hospital and last but not least - a vehicle dismantling, chemical reclamation and tyre disposal plant at the Lancaster site. Whooops! I nearly forgot - and Lady Jane's.
Little Jimmy said; “ It’s not because I happen to be a ~~Cunt~~ Councillor for Failsworth, hold all the purse strings and make all the decisions. It just happened that it was Failsworth’s turn for a share of the ~~spoils~~ amenities. We are not neglecting any other single part of Oldham. You’re ALL getting Fucking Nowt!!

DO YOU THINK THE LITTLE PIGGIES CAN HEAR THE SLAUGHTERMAN SHARPENING HIS KNIFE?

2011-11-22T01:25:00.001Z

Following on from last Wednesday's post on the activities of the Euro-scumbags we present a recording of Nigel Farage's speech to the EU assembly the same day. At last we have someone with the balls to tell it like it is to the tossers. Just watch their faces. As corporal Jones would say, "they don't like it up 'em." As you may know Farage is the leader of the UK Independence Party UKIP. Why the fuck can't our leaders from the main parties see what is happening beneath their noses and act accordingly. We say, "well said sir."
Many thanks to Guido Fawkes for drawing this to our attention.

WHERE'S ME CAP - AM LATE FOR SKOO!

2011-11-17T01:30:00.001Z

ARROGANT! That's what our ~~bleeding lover~~ beloved leader, Little Jimmy Pudden-Face, called Oldham councillors who have failed to take 'Basic Councillor Training,' and also those who HAVE undertaken the training and failed.
This is a new scheme whereby councillors are trained in the esoteric arts of the council, and learn how better to pull the wool over elector's eyes, maximise their ~~thieving~~ earnings and pass the buck while maintaining an aura of industry and intellect. (Oh God! spare us from this ribaldry!!!)

Jimmy said: "We I have introduced a leaders programme aimed at providing the basic level of training to enable members to do more." As the majority of the chair polishers do nowt anyway, any thought of actually getting up off their arses and doing summat, must read like their worst nightmares.

He continued, "There are some members of the council who believe they are so experienced - arrogant that they don't need training and think they should be doing the training themselves."
"This attitude will cease forthwith. I am the sole dispenser of wisdom and learning." "The reality is that they are not as good as they think they are." "A lot are past it: Some never reached it: I intend to bring them up to the mark using knowledge gained during all my years of experience."

He said, "The re-opening of Failsworth Town Hall showed what can be achieved."
It can be achieved if it 'just' happens to be in your ward, you have hold of the purse strings and you are the only person making policy decisions. Quite what the re-opening has to do with councillors going back to skoo beats us.

Little Jimmy told councillors; "The onus is on everybody in this chamber, you will get support, training and development. We will support your claims for extra allowances: we will train you to vote as told and we will develop your uselessness to a high degree, but, if you don't play the game you will leave empty-handed."

HUH!!! Run that by us again! Councillors will leave EMPTY_HANDED???? WHOOoooooooPEEeeeeeeDOOOoooo!
Oh sorry folks I think that should have read 'Councillors will leave US empty-handed.

His final words -" It's about council, councillors and residents all working together in the same direction." Jimmy baby the direction we are working on is OUT!

Several ~~Money-sponges~~ Councillors have already taken the course and the final exam. Results are none too good.

Coun. Sykes -Disqualified - examiner said paper looked as if it had been used to wrap chips.
Coun. Battye - Disqualified for cheating. His mate Fitzpatrick got a woman from Greenacres to fill in his answers.
Coun. Alexander - Disqualified- Lost his crayon
Coun. McDonald - 4/10 -very poor. Said he would have done better if the questions had been easier.
Coun. Dean - 1/10 -Abysmal . later disqualified when it was discovered he had copied Coun McDonald's answers.
Coun. Allcock(by name not nature) - 5/10 - poor. Should have done better but his paper had large holes in it and what looked like half a petition on the back.
Coun. Hibbert - Disqualified for writing Arrogant as the answer to every question.
Coun. Beeley and Wrigglesworth - no papers handed in - it is understood they are appearing in Cinderella at Slinfold Hippodrome.
Coun. Dillon and Dillon - 9/10 - very good. They explained they did everything together and liked to get the best out of every experience. Orgasm is believed to be the next target on their list.
Coun. Barker - 3/10 - very poor from someone who was expected to do better. Would have scored higher if he hadn't kept changing his answers.
Coun. Akhtar - 0/10 - No points could be awarded as his paper looked as if the dog had slept on it. Come to think of it Coun Akhtar has the same appearance.
Coun. Knowless - 5/10 - lost marks for writing Greenfield Station as the answer to question 3) Where should we allocate this years income?

Coun. Roughley - Come in please your time is up!

YOU HAVE TO LAUGH! - HAVEN'T YOU?

CLOSE THE DOORS, THEY'RE COMING THROUGH THE WINDOWS!

2011-11-16T21:44:00.001Z

THE AGENDA IS BECOMING CLEARER!

CAN YOU SEE IT YET?

George Papandreou, elected prime minister of Greece, ‘resigns’ and is ‘replaced’ by the unelected Lucas Papademos, an economist who was Vice President of the European Central Bank from 2002 to 2010 prior to becoming an ‘advisor’ to the Greek government.
Silvio Berlusconi, elected prime minister of Italy, ‘resigns’ and is ‘replaced’ by the unelected Mario Monti, an economist who was European Commissioner for Competition from 1999 to 2004 prior to becoming an ‘advisor’ to the Italian government.

Is this just a coincidence?      Or is there a pattern developing here?

Questions that need asking:

1.    Why are we talking about resignations when we all know that these 'elected' politicians were forced from office by the EU and the ECB and replaced by a pair of yes-men, to further the aims of their New World Order?

2.    What brought both countries to the brink of disaster if both countries were 'benefitting' from the advisors appointed to the respective governments by the EU and ECB?

3.    Did Greece and Italy ask for these advisors or were they forced upon them by threat of withdrawal of support?

4.    What advice was given by these 'advisors' seeing that both countries have gone tits up? If they are so fucking clever how come their advice led to the present situation? Why would anyone trust them to sort out the mess when it seems most of it occurred under their stewardship?

5.    Was their function to achieve exactly the situation Greece and Italy find themselves in and achieve a bloodless coup by taking over two countries without an apparent squeal of protest? Why have the populace of Greece and Italy so meekly succumbed ? Do they not realise what has happened?

6.    Why have the two countries accepted the pair of Euro Arseholes foisted upon them. What political skills do the two possess; indeed what skills of any description, apart that is, from ripping us off for millions every year?

7.    Do you think there is a cat in hells chance of them relinquishing power even if the pair of them drag the invalids from death's door? Don't hold your breath folks: This is THE NEW WORLD ORDER This is where it starts: Today two countries- tomorrow the world

Just think folks if we had gone up to our bollocks into Europe, The Euro and the rest of the corruption, we could to-day be in the same position as Greece and Italy. Who, after evicting the dolly-bag duopoly of Cleggeron do you think our Euro-masters would have appointed to lead us to salvation?

What odds on the Welsh wind-bag Kunte Kinnock - or horror of horrors The traitorous liar Blair. You can bet it would be some-one of that ilk just so the Euro-Wankers could rub our noses in it.

HEED THE WARNINGS FOLKS! THEY ARE AMONGST US NOW! STOP THE NEW WORLD ORDER NOW!

I SAID TO HIM - I SAID - 'YOU'RE IN THE WRONG JOB OUR KID!'

2011-10-18T03:19:00.001+01:00

Last month it was announced that 400 jobs are set to be axed as Oldham Council attempts to find £24 million in savings for their 2012/13 budget.

An initial 122 posts were identified and are the subject of an on-going consultation with staff and trade unions which runs until December.

The council has now announced the next 278 posts that could be cut

Councillor Abdul Jabbar, cabinet member for finance and resources, said: “This latest package of proposals is designed to mitigate the number of compulsory redundancies that we need to make.

“Together the savings we've identified in these first two stages of this process would cover the £24 million in savings that we need to find from next year’s budget. "

Did we hear that right???

The two redundancy schemes will save £24m?

400 jobs saving £24m = £60,000 per job!

Do we really have 400 people employed by OMBC on £60,000 p.a. who we can make redundant without too much pain? If so it's no wonder we are in the deep doo-dah. What the fuck are they all doing? Either Jabba The Cut, member for finagling and curry sauces, has one of those super deluxe, scientific, colour screen, printing calculators from 'Pound Universe' or we are being ripped off to some tune! Still, don't forget Charlie 'Turd' Parker is on almost four times that. I know let's get rid of him and then we only need to cut 396 posts.

Apropos of absolutely fuck all, have you noticed 'councillors allowances' have been removed from the council website. Nothing to hide, have they?? Let's get them back, see what the venal bastards are up too! It's our money!

EN HAUT LE RUISSEAU DE MERDE SANS UNE PAGAIE!

2011-10-18T02:36:00.000+01:00

.........The bloodletting at Mouchel has continued with Bo Lerenius stepping down as chairman.

Last week the company’s largest shareholders said they supported the chairman and Mr Lerenius said he had never considered quitting.

However, he says now is the “right time to hand over” the chairmanship. (and get out from under before the shit hits the fan)

Grant Rumbles replaces Richard Cuthbert as chief executive, who was ousted from the company last week after it revealed an “actuarial error” will wipe £4m from profits.

13th October David Sugden, a non-executive director, is named interim chairman.
16th October David Sugden Quits -. Mouchel's lending banks refuse to work with him!
Sir Michael Lyons, the former BBC Trust chairman, has been parachuted into Mouchel as interim chairman, which is heading for a breach of banking covenants and wants to refinance its £170m of bank facilities.

It's £170m of bank facilities were set up just a few months ago after it was revealed that Mouchel’s consortium of lending banks – Barclays, Royal Bank of Scotland and Lloyds – had hired Deloitte, the accountants to review Mouchel's finances, triggering worries about the company’s financial position.

Don't you just love the way these guys at the top jump ship as soon as there's a whiff of blame wafting about. What's the betting these two will surface in a month or two, smelling of roses, in some overpaid non-job. In the meanwhile Mouchel are still lading and teeming your money. Oldham council under the ~~insipid~~ inspired captaincy of Little Jimmy Pudden face sail ever onward into the setting sun, blissfully unaware.

Apropos of absolutely fuck all, have you noticed 'councillors allowances' have been removed from the council website. Nothing to hide, have they?? Let's get them back, see what the venal bastards are up too! It's our money!

MY MISTAKE! .... YOUR FAULT!

2011-10-12T05:32:00.000+01:00

Little Jimmy Pudden Face, leader of the council and flim-flam artist supreme, has taken time out from collecting his allowances to regale us with another of his blogs telling us how brilliant he is. Actually he shines like a turd! Portions in yellow are extracts from the blog. Listen to the arrogant scrote as he tells us how right-on he is and what a set of tossers we are.

'Hopefully you’ll have read about our plans to introduce what is effectively three months of free parking on Council-owned car parks on Saturdays from mid-October to mid-January, 2012.'

'After listening to the many concerns expressed to us in recent weeks this is a move unashamedly designed to boost town centre trade during a critical period.' ....

....Bollox! It's a knee jerk reaction from a load of jerks who have felt the cold winds starting to blow through the town centre and they see the spectre of the 'Ghost Town of Christmas Future' looming. They have unashamedly ignored, for years, every plea made by traders for this very same measure which should be made permanent. It's too easy to grab cash from parking fees and the swingeing fines dished out. It saves the brain-dead council amoebas from having to think or make an effort to run this town efficiently. How many millions do you reckon they've raked in over the years from parking? What have WE got to show for it? The trouble with the political knobheads, especially the Lie-bour variety, is that they love other people's money. They see a bit of cash and it's Hey, Ho! Let's be having that then for some daft scheme or other. Needless to say the daft schemes are not the schemes we want or want to pay for, but what the fuck do you peasants know. The members know best. That's members as in pricks.

'For Oldham Council it’s also about showing leadership to help businesses and residents feeling the pinch.'

....Leadership???? Where the fuckin' 'ell is it you and your bunch of mongs are leading us? We've been feeling the pinch for years Jimmy baby. What have you crackpots been doing to alleviate the pain? Destroy, destroy, destroy that's all we get from you and the other inmates. Nothing worthwhile created in this town for decades. There has been no cohesive plan for the town centre. Everything jumbled together. All the prime sites occupied by hideous concrete boxes inhabited by hordes of chair-polishers and paper shufflers. We are nearly into double figures with bus-stations. What's that about? Which genius of town planning spent months one lunch-time drawing that up on his sandwich wrapper? Every fucking building is in the wrong place. We're told we will have a new sports centre. Where? Same place as the one we have? Smack in the middle of a prime town centre retail site. Why does a sports centre have to be in the middle of a shopping area? Just think if you had put a multi-storey car park and retail units on the Lord Street site maybe Tommyfield Market would be still the number one attraction for shoppers that it used to be. Aaaah! but that's not what you and your raggle taggle band of twats want is it Little Jimmy? It's another ready made car-park to bring in more lovely moolah for you and the boys every day. While we are on the subject of town centre buildings, for fucks sake do something about that yoof abortion being built on St Mary's. Don't let the bell-ends keep that fucking gormless name. (For those of you who do not know, a competition was held to find a name for the town youth club. The winning entry was 'Mahdlo'. If that was the winning entry then fuck knows what shite didn't make it.). You're making us a bigger laughing stock than ever if that's possible. Most people in the country know we are fucking backward. Surely we don't have to prove them right! I can picture it now like summat out of the Clitheroe Kid (ask yer granddad).

Ma:      "Wheer art' a gooin' ower Jimmy?"
LJPF    "Am off up ter t' Mahdlo mam."
Ma:      "Gerrus a kebab and a pea mixture then our Jimmy."
LJPF:   "No ma, it's a youth club."
Ma:      "What! In a kebab shop?" "Yer lyin' little gobshite, yer off suppin' an' shaggin' I'll be bound"

Change it now before it's too late.

'According to a recent survey, Oldham town centre – with a 16 per cent rate of vacant shop units – is actually performing better than its North West neighbours (who average 19 per cent).'

This survey was carried out using the mathematical theory that numbers can mean anything you want them to mean. For Oldham, with a total of 33 shop units, this means that 5 and a bit stores are vacant while 27 and a bit are still clinging on to life. For, say, Bolton with a total of 168 shop units, the respective figures are 31 and a bit and 136 and a bit. For two points select the best shopping prospect a) Oldham: b) Bolton.

' I also genuinely believe our town centre offering (i.e. not including retail parks) is better than the likes of Rochdale and Tameside, and that if it was a retail park the brand names you’d see on the billboards – ‘Debenhams, H&M, Topshop, River Island, Primark, Next etc’ – would have traffic queueing in a snake like it usually is at Elk Mill on Saturdays.'

They're queuing to get on the motorway to go to the likes of Bury and Bolton where they have stores, markets, cinemas and all the rest of that un-needed crap we had the good sense to get rid of.
Look at the 'big names' they are all the same store basically, there is no variety. Oooh! sorry I forgot the fourteen jewellery shops and the pawnbrokers. Not to mention the myriad 'pound' stores. Verily we are on a par with the Trafford Centre.

'But I’m also a realist. We can’t sit here and fiddle.'

Where do you usually sit when you're on the fiddle you cocksucker?

'The unavoidable bottom line here though is that if residents want a viable town centre then they have to take advantage of this offer and visit it to do their shopping.'

Viable? There's fuck all left! You stole our market. You allowed Spindles to cut the town in two. We cannot attract any of the big draw names to the town we're cut off from the outside world. Every road in the fucking borough is being dug up (the only growth industry in the town). We've Metrostink coming that you think is going to re-generate this town. All it will do is enable more folk to abandon Oldham in a shorter time.

'If you don’t take advantage of this offer then the implications for traders in this climate are pretty clear and there’s no politician alive – however much energy they might expend – who can shield businesses from what their spreadsheets and bank managers are telling them.'

There's probably some dead politicians who could do a better job than you and the stupid squad. Expend energy? Politicians? Now we know you are taking the piss!

'So with Oldham town centre, I’d say it’s very much up to you:" ‘Use it or lose it.’

So, we get to the bottom line. After completely fucking up the town, it's infrastructure, it's transport, it's amenities, it's facilities, it's market, it's roads, it's shopping centre plus it's Town Hall, You have the fucking brass neck to tell us it's up to us to rescue the place!!!!

You fucking arrogant, money grabbing, self-aggrandising, conniving, fucked-up arsewipe!!!
We the people are not prepared to shoulder the blame for the abject failures and costly fuck-ups foisted upon us by you and previous administrations. You are not the answer to our problems. You ARE the problem!

To end we have a message for you: You say, 'Use it or lose it,"

We say, ................... FIX IT OR FUCK OFF!!!

ONLY OLDHAM COULD EMPLOY SOMEONE IN A WORSE STATE THAN US!

2011-10-11T04:49:00.000+01:00

In May 2007 Mouchel started a £300Million, 12-year strategic services partnership with Oldham Metropolitan Borough Council called the Unity Partnership. In that year Mouchel's share price reached £4.85. At close of trading today it stood at 16.5p leaving the company facing the prospect of a breach of banking covenant. This despite a massive £170m refinancing package just a few months ago. Now we discover that due to an 'actuarial error' a gain of £6.2m announced earlier this year would actually be £4.3m less at £1.9m.. Financial analysts posed questions over "Information Flow and accuracy within the business and 'overly-aggressive' accounting." I think that's what they call a euphemism! As a result chief executive Richard Cuthbert has fallen on his sword and got out from under. As if all that wasn't enough, finance director Rod Harris announced increased accounting provisions of a further £4m against "some risky contracts." So that's over £8m that won't be showing on the profit side. Should we trust a company that takes on 'risky contracts'?

Mouchel chairman Bo Lerenius said: "Our balance sheet is stretched and we need to do something."

Try stamping your foot and shouting very loudly, "OH BUGGER!!!"

Earlier this year rivals Interserve and Costain who had been considering a takeover bid for Mouchel walked away after studying the company's books. I think that was probably a good enough hint that all was not well.

Christopher Bamberry a financial analyst said the profit shortfall "would probably leave the company in breach of a banking covenant." He added that concerns over customer confidence cast doubts over Mouchel's ability to win and retain work. "It's hard to see how a rights issue can be avoided," he said. Who in their right mind would take up a rights issue after this sorry tale of woe and in light of the current spending cuts? Two other services groups, Connaught and ROK, reliant on government contracts collapsed into administration in the last year.

SO! This is the outfit running most of our town, with our money. It don't look good do it? Now you see why Mouchel had to close their Liverpool office and move the remnants of staff to Oldham where we are probably providing free accommodation for them.

Just take a look at the first line again folks - £300,000,000 for a twelve year partnership. £300m of our money leaving the town without so much as a last good-bye!

Why are we throwing all this money at a bunch of tossers from dahn sarff who can't even keep their own affairs in order? Why are we paying a bunch of outsiders to do something we've already paid for?

If we are employing all these people to run the services that we ran so ably at one time, what are the people who used to do that job in the labyrinthine corridors of OMBC doing now? Do they while away the hours reading Mystic Meg in the Sun. Do they sit entranced as the odious Battye regales them with fairy stories? Do they gaze in wonder at the acres of Axminster in Little Jimmy's den? Are they put to work polishing the solid gold fittings in Avarice Hall, site of Charlie's palatial HQ? OR? And here's a novel thought. Do we pay them to sit around doing nowt all day?

If Mouchel succumb in the dwindling market, the result for Oldham will be catastrophic! You can bet we have no fall-back plan to keep the town moving, Lie-bour don't believe in planning for the future. If they did maybe we wouldn't be involved with the 'Unity Parasites.'

It's bloody amazing ain't it? Every time we fall in the shite....we come up smelling of shit!

You think things are bad now?? As they say; "You ain't seen nothing yet!"

ADOPT THE BRACE POSITION FOLKS!

THINK OF A NUMBER ...THEN GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY!

2011-10-10T03:26:00.000+01:00

The cost of a multimillion-pound Lie-bour Government IT project for the Passport Agency has more than quadrupled.

A 10-year deal signed by the Passport Agency, part of the Home Office, with hi-tech firm Siemens was supposed to cost between £80 million and £100 million.
Figures show the final bill for the contract with Siemens is £365 million - more than four times the initial quote. It's fucking unbelievable how schemes don't just over-run their budgets, they are vast multiples of the original supposed cost. Imagine if you contracted with a couple of bug-blinders to whitewash your privvy for, say, £14.75 and halfway through the job they had to give up with snow-blindness and presented you with a bill for £62,759,441. 27. Cash in hand of course. I bet you'd be a little bit annoyed eh?
The previous Lie-bour government signed the deal, the blame for the overspend must lie with them.

Lie-bour's Disastrous' £12bn NHS IT programme to be abandoned

A multi-billion pound IT project started by Lie-bour to link all parts of the NHS is to be abandoned. Ministers said the ill-fated £12 billion National Programme for IT, set up in 2002, is to be “urgently dismantled” following criticism that it is not value for taxpayers’ money.

Lie-bour’s IT programme let down the NHS and wasted taxpayers’ money by imposing a top-down IT system on the local NHS, which didn’t fit their needs," Andrew Lansley, the Health Secretary, said.

The National Audit Office found that another £4.7 billion could be spent on computerising the country's medical records without the project significantly benefiting patients or the NHS

The integrated electronic care records system is a central part of Lie-bour’s £11bn National Programme for IT in the NHS, which was set up in 2002 and faced repeated criticism since then over its cost and technical problems, most recently from the National Audit Office.

The Public Accounts Committee found that despite billions of pounds already being spent on the scheme, no benefits have been seen.

£469m goes up in smoke as Lie-bour's fire rooms plan ends in chaos

Read this and weep

A chaotic scheme to merge fire control rooms ended in “complete failure” costing the taxpayer almost half a billion pounds – and yet no one has been held to blame, MPs have been told.
The so–called FiReControl plan to replace English control rooms with nine regional centres was scrapped last year, six years after it was proposed following “abject bungling” that saw the cost of the computerised scheme for the Fire Service escalate from £72 million to £469 million before being cancelled

The doomed programme, initiated by the previous Lie-bour Government, was "flawed from the outset" and "one of the worst cases of project failure" seen for many years, a report from the Commons public accounts committee said.

Guess who the minister at the time was? Yep it was The Mouth Of The Humber, that foul-mouthed, brawling, pie-eating, secretary shagging waste of space time and oxygen, Lord Pie-Crust of Mount Temple-On-D'esque. He was in charge, so the responsibility was his. But he wriggled out from under and threw his civil servants under the train, insisting that; "I were only t' minister, 'ow were I to know that costs were spirographing out of control?" Well, you ignorant pillock, as minister in charge we'd expect you to notice things laid on your desk apart from your secretary with her skirt up round her neck. (Strikes us folks she must have been fucking desperate to want that bugger humpin', pumpin' and wobblin' on top of her.) It was part of the tub o' lard's failed plot to impose regional government on the country. The whole policy was misconceived, much like the fat bastard himself. There's no justice is there? Two hundred and fifty million sperm and that fucking one got lucky! As architect of the scheme he should have paid the price for it's failure, but that's not how Lie-bour operate. So now he spends his days sat in the cash machine that is the House Of Lords, filling in his allowances chitty and dreaming of having his desk polished again.

The report said at least £469million was wasted, with eight of the purposebuilt centres remaining empty at a cost of £4million a month to maintain. That's another £48million a year going down the drain. Most of these centres are on twenty-five year leases. Do you know how much that comes to? - £1.2Billion.

The committee blamed a merry–go-round of civil servants who were responsible for the scheme and an over–reliance on external consultants, who made up more than half the management team. See! fucking consultants once again!

Despite the extensive failings, no one has been held to account and the careers of most "have carried on as if nothing had gone wrong". Peter Housden was permanent secretary and principal accounting officer at the Department for Communities and Local Government, which ran the project. Last year he was knighted and promoted to permanent secretary of the Scottish administration.

Principal Fucking Accounting Officer? What the fuck was he accounting then? With any kind of luck he'll fuck Scotland up as well

Over six years, there were five senior 'responsible' owners and four project directors. Explain responsible! The report said: "None has so far been held to account for failure and most have suffered no hindrance to their careers." Roger Hargreaves, the project director for the final two years, previously told the committee:

"We were not able to deliver the project and the problems that we faced proved not to be surmountable." ( unlike the fragrant Ms Temple). "That does not necessarily mean that, on the basis of the evidence available at the time, the judgments were wrong." "In hindsight, if we had not ever started the project, then that would have been possibly the best course of action."

This four years into the cock-up and the tosser can't see it ain't gonna work? What are HIS qualifications for the job? Apart from the drawback of not having English as his first language. Why don't he stick to Mr Men? Mind you, this could be a new character, 'Mr Abso-fuckin-lutely crap at his job but still drawing a huge salary.'

FiReControl began in 2004, with the aim of replacing 46 fire and rescue control rooms in England with nine new regional centres. The Coalition scrapped it last year after a series of delays.

The contract was poorly designed and the department awarded computer work to 'a company with no direct experience of supplying the emergency services.'
Consultants also made up half the management team, costing £69million by 2010. One company alone, PA Consulting, received £42 million for advice on project management issues. Bet we know what their advice was! 'Keep the fuckin' cash flowing guys, we're on a beefer!
Margaret Hodge, the committee chairman, said the project's failure was "one of the worst seen for many years".
The Coalition has set aside another £84.8million to meet the project's original objectives of improving efficiency. Are they fucking MAD??? Nearly £85million to put right a scheme which was 'only' going to cost £72million in the first place?

Bob Neill, the fire services minister, said: "Not for the first time, hard–working taxpayers are paying for Labour's inability to manage risks and control costs."

Lets have a quick tot-up of these three schemes, see what the damage is!

PASSPORTS 369,000,000

NHS IT 12,700,000,000

NEEDED FOR NO BENEFIT UPGRADE 4,700,000,000

FIRECONTROL 469,000,000

ONGOING COSTS 1,200,000,000

SET ASIDE 85,000,000

TOTAL £19,523,000,000

Nineteen and a half billion eh? Ten years ago the snot-gobbling, one-eyed temper tantrum G. Broon sold off over half our gold supplies with gold prices at the bottom of the market,(395 tons for £2.3Billion). Today that sale would have brought in £13.9Billion.This represents a potential loss of £11,600,000,000

Total loss to country of just four schemes under Lie-bour and the Scottish wanker £31,100,000,000

The number of other things they fucked up in the thirteen years doesn't bear thinking about. Multiply by the first large number that comes into your head.

And you bleeding lot believe the lying twats when they bullshit you that they have the answers to the country's financial problems!!!!!!!!! You Mongs! THEY ARE THE PROBLEM!

Wake up! Smell the ordure flying off the air- conditioning device!

FILTH, PURE FILTH!!

2011-09-29T04:15:00.001+01:00

It is reported that Oldham Youth Council members have joined forces with senior staff to help make Failsworth, (where dwelleth our beloved leader and guiding light, Little Jimmy Pudden face), a cleaner place to live.
'A group of environmentally-conscious youngsters has teamed up with Street Scene and parks departments to carry out grot-spot clean-ups. 'They also learned how to report issues like litter, graffiti, fly-tipping etc.directly to the council using the new “Tidy Oldham” application on smart phones.'

I don't know about the rest of you folks but I would have preferred to have seen groups of the 'environmentally-unconscious' scrotes responsible for the fucking litter, fly tipping and graffiti nuisance, cleaning it up! Why are we so soft on the filthy indolent bastards who blight our lives? Round 'em all up. Beat the crap out of them then put 'em to work clearing away all the shite they have inflicted upon us.
If the E-C's come across any E-U's fly-tipping or graffitiing they would be well advised not to call the council's Tidy Oldham app in sight of the E-U's otherwise the E-C's will swiftly become just unconscious and short one smart phone. Ah! Such is life in modern down-town Fails-Worth!

THE THEME FROM SHAFT!

2011-09-29T00:03:00.001+01:00

Our resident team of Hackers have, once more, managed to slip unnoticed behind the firewalls of our leader Jim Pudden Face's blog. Here again we reveal the inner thoughts of the Council Waffle Maker as he attempts another snow job on the people of Oldham.

Blog The third:

Cutting your throat to save our loot

ECONOMIC concerns are again driving this week’s headlines and deadlines.

The cut in the UK growth forecast to just 1.1 per cent for 2011 is just the latest reminder, as if one were needed, of the challenges that all of you are facing. We, fortunately, will not be joining you. A lot of us have other jobs beside ~~fucking about with you idiots~~ serving selflessly on various committees. It is important that we work conscientiously at these other jobs as failure could bring the sack, unlike our council gravy boats where we can fuck everything up and you lot can go whistle Dixie.

Everyone across our Borough – residents, staff and businesses alike – are looking over their shoulders and trying to protect their bottom line. Unfortunately for you residents, you now find that the bottom line is way above your heads. Howie 'King Chip' Sykes has lined his bottom with another two inches of lard since restrictions on councillor's chip allowances were removed. Local MP Mickey 'Ten Houses' Meacher is busy just protecting his bottom as there is a nasty outbreak of the Sutti Licanus virus doing the rounds.

For most people that means constantly monitoring finances – and looking at how to cut costs with the minimum impact on your welfare.

The challenge is exactly the same for Oldham Councillors - looking at how to cut costs with the minimum impact on our exes while we put more of you on welfare.

Our balancing act is to find £24 million in savings from next year’s budget whilst continuing to invest in priority areas for residents, plan for the future and protect the front-line services that you depend upon. We know and I suspect that some of the brighter ones among you have figured out that this has a difficulty level akin to knitting fog. In fact it's like having sex standing up in a hammock - fucking impossible.

Priorities for residents we are investing in include, but are not limited to - demolishing a lot more of those unsightly old houses to improve the view. Closing a large part of the town centre so residents will not make wasted journeys looking for goods in nonexistent shops. Extending ~~The Ghost Train~~ Metrostink line to the emigration check-in at Manchester Airport, plus many other exciting and imaginative plans. Planning for the future has been halted temporarily as we have mislaid our master-copy of the plan and were saddened upon making enquiries about purchasing a replacement to find out that the author, Nostradamus had died some years previously. At least on the subject of protecting front-line services you need have no fears. We have none!

This week we’ve launched our nonsultation exercise with the public to totally ignore them and tell them exactly how we are going to carry on fucking the town up. This is one of my better ideas as eventually everyone will get totally pissed off and leave. With the town empty of you moaning self-centred bastards always wanting something or other, we can implement our dream of the Lie-bour utopia. We'll be able to do anything we please without having to listen to you whingers - La,La, La-La, La

Oldham Council like every other Authority – will have to wrestle with becoming a leaner organisation. This will rule out Howie 'Fat Bastard' Sykes from a position of power ever again. Who'd want to wrestle with that fat sweaty cunt anyway? We simply can’t sit here with our fingers up our arses, looking for Sutty and hoping the problems will go away.

It would also be unforgivably arrogant for us to assume that our management team and Councillors have a monopoly on good ideas or common sense – But then, we are unforgivably arrogant, we have to be because we really don't have either of those commodities. That’s why we need to make it look like everything is your fault..

I’d ~~kill every fucker who didn't~~ urge everyone reading this to please waste five minutes of your time to visit the new Budget Nonsultation pages at www.oldham.giv/upfucking/about and give us your penn'orth for what it's worth.. This fudges our income sources and where we are currently spending every penny of your money. Pennies? Yeah. The fucking pounds? - Suck this!

The Council squanders this budget on your behalf and that’s exactly why we need to make our final decisions based on what we want to waste your money on. Fuck you and your priorities.

This cycle of finding savings and reducing spending is one that Oldham Council will continually be facing for many years. You on the other hand will have to face up to cycling everywhere as the transport infrastructure collapses totally. But as I told employees at the last ~~Leaders weekly rant~~ Staff Conference, we must stay ~~fucked-up~~ focussed and be positive about what this will mean. It won't all be doom and gloom…To give hard working councillors a break from the onerous duties of the chamber, I've taken over another ~~suite of plush offices~~ small room in the Holy Tower. This has been refurbished at minimal cost, (£219,835 to be exact, excluding carpet). This room will be known as the Tax Relief Office. All council taxes have been converted into large denomination banknotes and stacked in this room. In what small breaks councillors get from the demands of the debate, they will be able to visit the room, remove all their clothes and roll naked in your contributions. We hope they will come to appreciate this. Any banknotes left clinging to their sweaty bodies on leaving are theirs to keep.

Next we look at what becoming a Cooperative Council means for Oldham. It means staff will start shafting the public on an even grander scale. The opportunities to change for the better will be totally fucking ignored and as more powers and budgets are devolved downwards, the staff we are redeploying to the six new district Town Halls will insulate us ~~impotent~~ important pricks at the top and the blame for any cock-ups can swiftly be passed down the chain, conversely any plaudits, awards, cash prizes etc., ~~we will swiftly grab~~ will be pushed up the chain of command to where they rightly belong.You don't seriously believe any of this tosh is for YOUR benefit. Do you??

I also explained to Council staff about our new ~~con trick~~ commitment – as part of the Cooperative approach – to enable them to' invest' time back into the community.

We’ll allow staff to take three days of paid leave annually to put something back into the local area to support groups and initiatives where their expertise can make a big difference. This is the Lie-bour definition of 'invest.' We take YOUR money and give it to our Lie-bour placemen to have three days paid holiday. It may be someone in our finance team helping a local charity apply for grant funding or do their books, for example, or someone from our Environmental/Parks teams assisting them with a community garden, clean-up or allotment scheme. (Ed.What fucking expertise are we talking about here? The town is a bankrupt shit heap caused by these self same people. Would you want them ~~cooking~~ doing your books?)

This is what a Cooperative Borough should look like. Everybody working together – public sector, hand-in-wallet with residents – to achieve a common goal that improves the amount we are entitled to claim.

I also want to put improved aspirations at the top of our agenda as an Authority. Aspiration in the medical sense that is, of sucking something from a body. In your cases more fucking Council Tax

My vision from here is that every apprentice starting work at Oldham Council should be able to aspire to climb all the way up to the top, and become Chief Executive. It's really quite easy, it would seem you don't appear to need many qualifications but it's good to know as many folk as possible in the Old Boy's Network. Aiming for my position as ~~Fuhrer~~ ~~Supreme Being~~ Leader of The Council is not worthwhile as I don't intend to relinquish my position whilst still living and possibly even, sometime after that.

In a generation’s time I would like to see all councillors and the majority of senior management in the Council produced from myself by cloning – and thereby allow me to claim every penny for myself...... – It's mine! All mine, I tell you!

A crucial part of this Cooperative jigsaw – beyond staff and residents – Everything in this town is beyond staff and residents! Will be to make Members more effective. If my member was more effective I could forego the cloning!

Across all the political parties it was very clear to me that our Members do believe in the Borough, some also believe in fairies and others swear by the pills that claim to increase the size of your penis. We need to give these people all the help we can..

Being a Councillor is not a profession – it’s a money grabbing free for all snatch and grab and there is no defined ‘career path’ into it. That’s why we need to support and enable them all to perform better through appropriate training and development in all aspects of allowance claiming, jolly-joining and the rest of the arcane arts of being a councillor.

Finally today – on a very different tangent – I’m pleased to report that good progress is being made by ~~Charlie's friends~~ Langtree, with whom Oldham Council recently signed a development agreement to con the shit out of us over Hollinwood.

Langtree, run by several of Charlie's buddies, has already moved quickly to appoint key personnel to make things happen. they are currently working out of Charlie's luxurious suite of offices in the Tower and I’m looking forward to receiving my plain brown envelope and seeing the architects’ Masterplan for the area which is believed to include a seven seater luxury cinema.

Redeveloping the key sites in question here – alongside ~~The Ghost Train's~~ Metrostink’s arrival – can help me strengthen Hollinwood’s identity - Hi Hollinwood - it's next to Fails -Worth where I'm from. If I can divert a lot more resources from this shit-hole, Oldham, I can make myself look really ~~impotent~~ important and secure its position it as a destination of regional importance. (Ed. Importance to whom? For what? A destination? It's one of those places best avoided even if you noticed it in passing)

Thanks for letting me talk at you.

James (Little Jimmy) Pudden Face

If any of you think this is fanciful read the original tripe at

http://oldhamcouncil.wordpress.com/

DOGGONE !!!

2011-09-17T02:50:00.000+01:00

No sooner had the ink dried on the Boundary Commission report outlining the proposed changes to the electoral boundaries, than the usual suspects were up on their hind legs objecting. Our favourite pet, Jeremy Mithering Twat Sutcliffe immediately got involved in the ensuing dogfight, protecting his lord and master Mickey "Tenhouses' Meacher (may he reign in perpetuity, may his rents increase and may his mortgage relief continue, even for four score years). Funny how when the Lie-bour gobshites moved the boundaries to serve their interests it was OK. Look what that led to.Thirteen years of debt, destruction, lies, theft, cover-ups, corruption and unfounded wars. But we must be fair and impartial it wasn't all good news.

Last week an astute correspondent to the Oldham Lie-bour Chronicle called our Jermy a Lie-bour Poodle. This served to bring on a fit of (dis)temper in the mangy old cur. Without further ado he flashed back a lightning riposte saying he was more of a Rottweiler. Our opinion? He's more of a ~~Shih Tzu~~ Shits You!

This week our intrepid reporter and photographer 'Pug' Barker was out and about and met up with Meacher as his 'flagoneur à nez brun' brought him up to speed on the situation.

Pug asked the ~~erec~~ elected Member how he felt about the new boundary changes. Mickey said he thought it was a vindictive scheme to oust him from the seat and the people he ~~loath~~ loves. He added that it wasn't all bad news, explaining that if he stood and was successful in the next election, at least he would be rid of a lot of those 'horrid' people in Oldham West and Royton. He was sure he would have a more refined electorate in the new extended constituency. Our reporter asked why he was never popular with his ~~crook~~ cronies in the last Lie-bour government and why he didn't get a cabinet post. 'I 'm facked if I know,' said the upstanding member. 'I don't give a shit about those unwashed, working-class dim-wits and as for a cabinet post, that was up to Brown.' Which, quite co-incidentally, was where our Jeremy was at that moment.

Our reporter managed to collar Jermy after Meacher had absorbed everything his lap-dog could give him. "How did he take it?" our reporter asked absentmindedly as he examined the bottoms of his shoes, trying to locate the source of the excremental odour pervading the area. 'He ran in circles chasing his tail for a while but eventually he took it standing up,' replied our hero, picking a piece of Bonio from between his teeth. 'He never flinched, even though I gave it to him 'root and branch, and I must add, it was one of the greatest pleasures of my miserable life to have served such a great ~~Dane~~ man.' "Did you feel threatened?" asked Pug. 'Never!' cried the runt of the litter 'You will notice I'm wearing a safety harness at the insistence of Health and Safety. This would have enabled me to be pulled to safety had I got drawn into a nasty situation.' "Do you think this will leave any lasting effects?" asked our scribe. ' I don't think so growled the little nipper, we took all precautions and besides, I didn't inhale!'

+ + + Late News + + +

We have just heard news from "The Kennel', home of Jermy the Shits-You, regarding his future should Mickey Tenhouses relinquish his hold on Oldham West and Royton or as it will shortly be known Cumbria and Norfolk East. Jermy has decided to have himself 'put down,' stuffed and presented to the new love of his life - The Divine Being, Little Jimmy Pudden Face, (may his allowances soar ever upwards, may his chubby chops soar ever outwards) - for use as a foot-stool in the council chamber.

PLUS ÇA CHANGE .... PLUS C'EST LA MEME MERDE!

2011-09-10T01:57:00.000+01:00

Oldham Council to shed 400 jobs in next round of cuts!

Oldham Advertiser Thurs 8/9/2011

Number of unemployed in town rises by 10% in last ten years!
Oldham Advertiser Thurs 8/9/2011

Details of Oldham Council's deal with Oldham Athletic revealed!
Oldham Advertiser Tues 6/9/2011

'We need to restore pride in our town,' says Council Leader Jim McMahon!
Oldham Advertiser Thurs 8/9/2011

Oldham Council Leader spends £3,000 on new carpet in £10,000 office refurbishment!!
Oldham Advertiser Thurs 1/9/2011

The Wulfe Fri 9/9/2011

ONE HUNDRED DAYS OF INERTITUDE!

2011-09-08T03:35:00.000+01:00

Failure is not an option: You're right Jimmy baby, it's compulsory!

Oldham Council leader outlines Labour’s 50 achievements in 100 days

Little Jimmy Pudden Face pictured (left), with the Lie-bour Party symbol of office.

Leader of the council, Little Jimmy Pudden Face (31) believes it has been an energising start for himself and the new Labour regime at Oldham Council. We would have been better off with the energizer bunny! At least it would have made us laff unlike Jim and his bunch of moronic, mirthless mongs.

Seizing control from the Lib-Dems earlier this year, the 31-year-old, who is now 31, has outlined 50 achievements he believes the Labour Party has notched up in the borough in its short tenure. It all depends on what you mean by and classify as 'an achievement'. We don't know about tenure it's more like manure, stinking and redolent of a shit-heap. Well that's Oldham for you!

The 31 year old council leader said he was determined to put a stop on timewasters and money wasted on “mundane” buildings. So presumably this includes the 60 oxygen wasters on the Council and the Tower Of Babble they inhabit?

31 year old Jimmy went on to say, “We spend 99 per cent of our time dealing with 1 per cent of the population, who want to cause the council grief, who want to talk Oldham down, who want to be a thorn in the side of local councillors. These, presumably are the people who have wised up to the nefarious schemes of the elected sponges and dare to defy them and speak out against the pillocks who think themselves above criticism and/or ridicule What the 31 year old really meant to say was, 'We spend 1 per cent of our time dealing with matters that affect the whole town and 99 oer cent of our time bickering over Lie-bour party dogma and allowances.

“So that’s going to be stopped.” Exactly which bit will be stopped. We hope it's the constant reminder that Jimmy Baby is a mere 31 year old.

The 31 year old council leader claims Oldham has a “lot of catching up to do” when it comes to regeneration because Oldham was left behind as the focus was on other areas in Greater Manchester. So where the fuck was Little Jimmy and his ilk when we were being left behind. What the fuck were our elected representatives doing when the 'regeneration' cash and plans were being bandied around for the last thirty or forty years? Too fucking busy with their own self aggrandisement plans that's what! Take a look around the town. Look at all the superfluous shit in the wrong place. Buildings and whole areas destroyed to cater to the whims of a set of braindead cunts! Look at what we have now. Fuck all just about covers it!

Jimmy, who will be 32 next birthday, said approx £250,000 a year is spent simply on securing old buildings, which he claims is “ridiculous”. Yep, you're right baby. Just leave 'em all unsecured. That should save some brass!

“We spent quite a lot of money on quite mundane buildings and some very poor buildings. We need to get that sorted.” Yep, again, let's start with that abortion of Soviet neo-concretism, the Tower Of Babble, an eyesore in the centre of town for too long. Have you noticed that every piece of prime land in the town-centre is occupied by some band of chair polishers or another. Fuck 'em all off along with the ill thought-out failure that is Spingles and let's run a competition in the borough's primary schools to design a new, shopper friendly, town centre

Jim, who is in his early thirties, said, “When people talk about government waste, that’s one area we are looking at.” "We can learn a lot from government on how to increase our wastage and at the same time pocket even more allowances.

Jimmy Pudden face, who was elected as a borough councillor at the tender age of 23 in 2003 and is now 31, is hoping this Labour regime will be judged on their “results”. Results so far this season have been dismal and relegation looms.

At 31 years of age Little Jimmy is one of the youngest 31 year-olds in local government.

SO LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT BRINGS YOUNG (31 YEARS) JIMMY TO ORGASM IN THE ROTTEN BOROUGH.

Labour’s 50 claims of success

:: Oldham Athletic’s multi-milllon pound regeneration programme Up to and maybe above £5M of our cash to be used to purchase the Lancaster site which no-one wants and is not much use for anything except winding up Failsworth residents by proposing all sorts of building plans just to piss them off.

:: Oldham Roughyed’s future at Whitebank Stadium. 14 years after the thieving Lie-bour shites, led by The devious gobshite Battye stole Watersheddings off ORLFC by promising them a new ground. This is it! What a fucking step up! It's part of somebody's garden down Crimeside! Stadium. My arse!

:: Living Wage for council employees. Depends WHERE they're living don't it? If in Ethiopia or Mongolia I suppose they would be quite well off. Won't matter shortly, we'll be down to a couple of dozen council employees when all our amenities and facilities shut down.

:: Reduced number of cabinet members. Reduced from eight to twelve. This is known as the Lie-bour theory of no relativity. Or as we call it creative accounting.

:: Funding for two benefits and welfare advice officers. Two more Lie-bour placemen, managerial incompetents. Appointed to help the feckless and workshy of the borough more easily sponge off the rest of us.

:: Cooperative Commission introduced. Involve as many people in your daft schemes as possible, making them eternally in your thrall and add 'em to your client base. Co-operative in this context means: you work, I claim the divvi.

:: Devolved over £2 millon to neighbourhoods. Devolved from where? Who has it now? Who will be responsible for it if it ever happens? Please don't tell us, 'councillors' One definition of devolve: "To degenerate or deteriorate gradually" Sounds about right.

:: Six district town halls established, with 500 staff to follow. Six fucking useless town halls which will have no function or powers (politicians, especially Lie-bour don't cede power that easily). But they will prove a fertile breeding ground for ever more managers, assistant managers, deputy managers even to the extent of employing every fucker in the local Lie-bour party. Smoke and mirrors once again.

:: Councillors’ credit cards stopped. They won't just put everything on their own cards then claim it all back from the council, WILL THEY?

:: War memorials’ renovation programme. There is already a programme in operation. The increase promised by Little Jimmy can easily be passed over. Folks only think of war memorials once a year.

:: Chauffeur-driven councillors and officers stopped. By the police we hope and charged with fraudulent misrepresentation. Who are these chauffeur driven councillors and officers? We've all got a good idea, haven't we? Who authorised it? It's unlikely to stop, Lie-bour don't give up perks easily. List of names and costs required on this one.

:: Councillors’ allowances reduced by 10 per cent. This will be after they get a rise of approx 20% to cover increased responsibilities. They couldn't be responsible if they tried. Likely to result in more outlay. Lie-bour don't give up allowances easily.

:: Junior University programme reinstated. Unlikely to happen. Another smoke and mirrors project. Sounds good on paper and pleases all the educational agitators, who will vote Lie-bour.

:: Funding of a new high-speed broadband link to Oldham. Are they taking the piss? We can't even get a slow-speed rail link. Where's the money coming from? Are they proposing this is for everyone or is it just the time-wasters in the Tower?

:: End to the cycle of “redundancies to pay for redundancies” — which will save up to £2.5million a year, which will be ~~squandered~~ invested in a "redundancies to pay for recruitment" scheme to enable us to recruit yet more top class managers.

:: Revised district identity policy to promote local identity. A new scheme devised to waste as much tax-payers cash as possible. Lie-bour councillors blown up like puffer fish will waste countless thousands blowing their own trumpets. A case of mistaken identity.

:: Submit accounts for approval, one of the first councils in England to do so. Who to? Which accounts? Submit them to us for approval!

:: Reopen Limecroft respite care centre. An election promise. Scene of a one act drama from Little Jimmy. No sign of action. Note: it doesn't say re-opened Limecroft. What this flummery means is, we'll do nowt for now and in a while folk will have forgotten about it. Then we can demolish it.

:: Scrapped the council’s propaganda paper. This is pure propaganda. It will surface under another name in due course.

:: Signed development agreement for regenerating Hollinwood. Another Hollinwood ballbuster from Little Jimmy. He proposes a huge industrial estate, commercial and retail units and 32 screen cinema on a site with very limited access and hardly big enough for Howie Sykes to turn round in.

:: Reinstated free parking on council car parks for blue badge holders. Wow! There's an achievement! Why was it abolished in the first place. Yet more clear thinking from the West Street wankers.

:: Removed charges for residents’-only parking permits. Same comments apply as for last item.

:: Scrapped car parking charges at countryside centres. Not likely to make a scrap of difference. We can only think of one that charges and that's Dovestones. Must cost more to collect than it makes. Smoke and mirrors.

:: Reduced staffing in the leaders’ office, saving £60,000. Two secretarial staff instead of three - good. A separate secretary for the 'cabinet', back to three - bad. Two other secretaries to go - good. Ah! but wait a minute they're the ones who deal with other councillor's mail - good (for Jim) - bad (for t'others). This doesn't take account of the £10,000 Little Jimmy frittered away on moving and redecorating "The Leader's Office," including £3,000 for a fucking carpet. Lie-bour don't give up the trappings of office easily. Bloody marvellous ain't it? The town is going down the shitter and this twat is stroking his ego painting and decorating.

:: Allocated over £360,000 for area investments such as play areas. Allocated is the key word here. Until you have actually got your hands on the moolah nothing has been achieved. Another smoke and mirrors operation.

:: Scrapped Trust Oldham   Only Lie-bour and Little Jimmy Pudden Face could call scrapping something an achievement. Probably just as well we don't think anyone did trust Oldham.

:: Recharged over £200,000 to Unity Partnership for rent on Henshaw House. What exactly does this mean? This involves that paragon of business managers, Mouchel who couldn't even run their own company so OMBC gave them free rein to fuck our world over as well. Do they owe us this money? Get it off them ASAP before the scallies do a runner back to Liverpool with the loot.

:: Stopped the closure of Stoneleigh Primary School. Stoneleigh Primary School to be closed.

:: Supported five Oldham businesses to submit applications to the Regional Growth Fund worth over £10 million. What sort of 'achievement ' is this? Riding into town again on the back of another man's horse.

:: Plans brought forward to refurbish the borough’s war memorials, worth £150,000 this year. This item has already been dealt with. Repetition means we are now down to 49 achievements.

:: Agreed proposals to build over 100 new properties in Freehold.   Agreed proposals is not a single brick laid. Who is proposing to build 'em? Over what period? For what sector of the population? Private enterprise? Not an achievement.

:: Building of 700 new homes on Primrose Bank and Crossley estates. To replace how many that were sub-standard when built and have had to be torn down after a relatively short lifespan? Again over what timespan.?

:: Building over 50 new homes at St Mary’s.   Same concerns as previous two items. 50 to replace how many? Heart ripped out of the centre of town.

:: Transfer of Boston House. Typical Lie-bour council ploy. If something has failed or you don't feel up to keeping it going, give it away. How is this an achievement?

:: Relocated 60 jobs from Liverpool to Oldham as part of Unity deal. You devious lying fucker Jimmy! The 60 jobs from Liverpool were brought by Mouchel who had to close their Liverpool office due to the fact they proved fucking inept at running their own business. They lost £15M last year, have £180M of bank debt and had to sack 2,000 staff. The few that were left were shipped over to Oldham and set up in The Business Centre. I'd like to bet we're paying for the fuckers! By the way these bastards are running your town with our money.

:: Hollinwood to become first electric car showroom and charging point. Another smoke and mirrors promotion. Go to Hollinwood. There is nothing there. There won't be. The scheme just doesn't make sense.

:: Councillor development programme — local leaders. Oldham councillors are thick and talentless. This accounts for the 'cabinet' system. The half dozen or so who share the brain-cell have ganged up to keep out the fifty or so to whom thought is painful. Another dose of puffery from Jimmy designed to keep us all thinking that he is thinking. He is, but not about us.

:: Oldham Olympic Legacy kick-started. What Olympic legacy? We have barely any sporting venues in the town. The two clubs that bear the town name are a joke. Playing fields and amenities lie neglected and semi-derelict. Ask any sports club in the area about help from OMBC. Now the jokers want to jump on the Olympic bandwagon so Little Jimmy can be snapped with famous sporting personalities. He's already met Paul Scholes. Wow! I bet that made his day. Paul Scholes that is!

:: Legal action now brought against owners of Royton Assembly Hall. Another of the non-achievement achievements. They've gone! Kaput! Finished! Done! In Liquidation! So that's goodbye to the £7,000 they owed us in fines. It's also goodbye to the building as it now belongs to the bank which held a mortgage on it. Fuck knows what will become of the site now. Ten years this saga has been playing, successive councils achieving precisely nothing. The developers totally ignored them. Maybe that's what we all should do!

:: Funding for Union Street improvements.   What funding? Where's it coming from? How much? For what? When Metrostink comes it will be dug up. That'll be an improvement. Will there be a tram stop at Chicken City on Union Street? Why not send the tram through Sainsbury's car park like the by-pass. Save a lot of disruption.

:: Dispute between care homes and council about fee package resolved. Resolving an argument over fees hardly constitutes an achievement

:: Devolved Oldham in Bloom to all six districts. Necessary to keep all the fucking jobsworths devolved to the districts, in work. Telling umpteen devolved managers to plant some flowers? Hardly an achievement.

:: Leader’s Blog introduced. Little Jimmy! This isn't an achievement it's more self puffery. There's so much wrong in this town you haven't got fucking time to write all that drivel. It's no wonder that all these 'achievements' are anything but. Writing about what you would have/could have/should have done or what you will be/ may be/could be/are thinking of doing is not exactly the same as getting up off your now pleasantly plump arse and actually doing something to improve the plight of the town and it's people.

:: Cabinet Advisory Panels introduced. Not an achievement. A backdoor way of sliding yet more troughers into higher posts so they can draw extra allowances for 'enhanced responsibilities'.

:: Hosted Britain In Bloom.    Not an achievement. Clutching at straws here. Nowhere else in the country in bloom then?

:: Funded repairs to Oldham Way footbridge. How is this an achievement? That's what you're there for! That's what we pay council tax for. My wheelie-bin got emptied last week. Are you claiming that as one of your achievements?

:: Hosted Parks Green Flag judges — retaining seven Green Flags. Same as Britain in Bloom. More straw clutching. Not an achievement.

:: Signed contracts for Oldham and Rochdale Streetlighting PFI programme. Not an achievement to sign your name on a piece of paper for a deal brokered by others.

: Exchanged contracts for a new home for Oldham Boxing Club. How is this an achievement for you Little Jimmy? OBC found the premises and negotiated for use as a boxing club..

:: Chadderton library’s long-term future secured. The record of Oldham council re libraries is abysmal at best. Any promise made by them guaranteeing future security is to be taken with a pinch of salt.

Well there you have it folks. 31 year old Little Jimmy Pudden Face's list of what he considers 'achievements,' achieved by him and his Lie-bour co-conspirators over the tumultuous first hundred days of his reign. We leave you, dear readers to decide how many of these are actual achievements and how many are pure fuckery!

WE TRUSTED THEM WITH OUR TOWN ARE YOU HAPPY WITH THE RESULT?

2011-09-05T03:53:00.000+01:00

A little piece of nostalgia for you today. A short video put together by ex-Oldhamer Alan Walkden. These images are from a time when this town could hold it's head up with pride. Unlike to-day when sight or mention of the town makes you want to hide under a rock.

Notice in the opening shot The Old Town Hall when it was a building we were proud of, before the losers, YOU elected, allowed it's descent into decay and dereliction. An obscenity unseen anywhere else in the country. Do our elected twats give a flying fuck? Do they bollocks! Instead we get constant puffery on how Metrostink will bring thousands of people to the town. Do we really want them to see THIS???

No apologies for another pic of the atrocity. We should drag three councillors on the Town Hall steps every Saturday at mid-day, make them lick the building clean, then hang the fuckers in place of those stupid banners.

Notice how pleasant and open High Street was before the Goddamned Spindles cut the town in two. Another bit of inspired urban thinking from the brain dead town planners.

The video mentions that there were twenty-five cinemas in Oldham at one time. The Wulfe can only recall twenty-two. Anyone got a full list? Can you believe a town of this size could go from twenty plus cinemas to NONE?

In the pictures of Star Inn, which you will notice was quite a handsome building before some bastard whitewashed it, you can just see the railings round the old 'Three Valve Set.' Has anyone got a pic of the full set? If you don't know what the Three Valve Set was, ask yer granddad.

Notice the pic of the old Central Library. A perfectly serviceable building sacrificed on the altar of self aggrandisement by the glory hunters on the council. What do we have to replace it? Rogues Gallery Oldham! Was this a screaming priority? Is everything else in the borough tickety-boo? Is it fuck as like! But as long as you can get your name on something, fuck whether we need it or not. The building will be allowed to disintegrate same as the Town Hall, then the fuckfesters can demolish it. Simples!

Chaddy Baths another like the Library, allowed to go to rack and ruin cos the mongs had no money to spend on refurbishment, (they said). What do we get in it's place? The Chadderton Well Being Centre. Another pile of Council flummery. Seven Million quid over budget and a small matter of three quarters of a million quid a year adrift on running costs. And none of the fucking spacewasters noticed??

See the Latics shot. Look at the crowd. Copy the pic. Show it around. Better still show it to Little Jimmy Pudden face. How many are the Loan Rangers attracting now? Must be thousands cos Little Jimmy's borrowing millions to bail them out of the shit. Mind you a lot of the blame for them being in the said ordure is to be laid at the door of the council chamber, wherein dwell some of the feeblest minds on the planet.

Did anyone notice the picture with the tram coming down Yorkshire Street? Not Union Street, note! Who's daft, us or them?

There was a passing mention of 'air pollution.' Aye it was from all the industry working to make Oldham the prosperous town it once was. The only scents wafting on the breeze nowadays are curry and marijuana.
For the benefit of any US readers we must explain that the "Knocker Up' was not a sexual pervert, but was the guy who woke you (for a fee) every morning to go to your work (for an explanation of 'work' ask yer granddad.) No alarm clocks in those days.

Last but very much, not least, we have the cotton industry and Platt Brothers Engineers the largest manufacturers of textile machinery in the world. We are told there were 360 cotton mills in Oldham at one time. Just think how many folk they gave employment to. At the turn of the nineteenth century Platt Bros. employed 15,000 people. It was estimated that in 1890 Platts supported 42% of the population of the town.

See the offices from where this global empire was run. Compare it with the square miles of territory now required by the Tossers in the Tower to run the town into the ground.

Platts built Werneth station to better move finished goods and raw materials. The mongs have now demolished it to buld a Metrostink stop. They also built and gave the Lyceum to the town to further the education of it's people. It is now sitting quietly awaiting it's fate. We have no doubt it will go the same way as the Town hall, slowly subsiding into ruin. Samuel Platt was one of the founders of Werneth Cricket Club putting up the cash for the purchase of the ground when it looked as if the club would lose it when the lease expired. Those were the days when local dignitaries gave freely of their time and money to endow the town with many of it's amenities thus improving the lives of ordinary citizens. This is in direct contrast to the ME! ..ME! ...ME! ... bunch of thieves and rogues we have elected to the council. Their only aim being; grab as many allowances as you can and if we have to close amenities and facilities, well so what: I'm alright Jack!

Samuel Platt invested £25,000, (a fortune in those days), in the Manchester Ship Canal Co. The opening was performed by Queen Victoria sailing up the canal on Sam Platt's yacht. There's name dropping for you.

In 1929 Platt's paid £100,000 for the patents for an automatic loom built by Japanese inventor Sakichi Toyoda. This was serious money. Toyoda changed one letter of his name, used the money to start an automobile manufacturing business, and the rest, as they say, is history. Small world ain't it?

WATCH THE VIDEO FOLKS. ASK YOURSELF WHAT HAPPENED TO EVERYTHING OUR PARENTS, GRANDPARENTS AND GREAT GRANDPARENTS WORKED FOR? IT'S GONE FOLKS, SQUANDERED, STOLEN AND GIVEN AWAY BY PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T THE NOUS TO RUN A BATH NEVER MIND A TOWN. WHY DO WE CONTINUE TO ALLOW THEM TO GET AWAY WITH IT?

WE REALLY DO NEED URGENT CHANGE ....MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD .... IF YOU SAY NOWT THE FUCKING MONEY GRUBBING CROOKED SHITES WILL DRAG US INTO OBLIVION!!!

IF YOU WIN, THE IMPORTANT THING IS NOT TO TAKE PART, BUT TO TAKE THE FUCKING LOT!

2011-09-01T17:16:00.000+01:00

Once again Hackers, believed to be, until recently, employed by the News Of The World have managed to get behind the facade of our leader Jim Pudden Face's so called blog. Here again are the real thoughts of the Red Bloater as he attempts a monumental feat of self aggrandisement.
Blog The second:

The 2012 London Olympics are now just ~~two~~ one year away and last week I attended the lunch of an exciting joint venture that aims to give me and the Borough a lasting legacy of these historic games.

The ‘No Future’ initiative will see OMBC team up with local private sector organisations to watch the games on one of them bloody big LSD tellys. That's probably as near as we'll get. We will also be looking at what can be done to ensure that residents benefit from this opportunity. Not a fucking lot really. It's tough out there.

To many people the London Olympics can seem far away in both time and distance but it's an ideal opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. Schedule your bankruptcy or administration hearing in the High Court at the same time and make your trip worthwhile. Some say that this is a once in a generation opportunity and I believe that the partnership that is No Future will bring me great benefit in securing my rightful share of this legacy.

At the lunch that took place at Rogues Gallery Oldham I was fortunate to meet members of the No Future Steering Group from both the private and public sectors. I was impressed at how many people are genuinely interested in improving opportunities for ~~residents~~ us and making us wealthier and more power crazed. I'm certain that the seven of us can come up with some scheme to make a nice little profit for us.

Local ambassador for fair play, Paul Scholes, displayed the cards he has received from the Premier League, he has 90 yellow ones and 4 red ones. That's the third best in PL history. He was also booked 32 times by the Champions League, the best in the whole competition. They must like him to keep re-booking him so often. Other home-grown talent helping to support No Future included 'Pubsy', Oldham's own graffiti artist, Okabibele "Thumbs" Hailebikele our very own NW area 'Angry Birds' champion, and the world renowned embalmer Jerry 'Stiff Fingers' Sutcliffe. They were promoting the borough as a place of opportunity to fill your pockets at the trough and somewhere to visit after you were forced to leave when the town closed after being condemned.

Some people will, inevitably, scoff at these goals, but not supporters of Oldham Metropolitan Borough Athletic Football Club. Latics goals are too rare to be scoffed at. Many Nimbys from Failsworth and Saddleworth will be quick to bring up reasons why it can’t and won't be done. In many cases nothing I say or do and nothing is what I say and do, will make them change their minds. But to those people who are committed to taking advantage of opportunities to plunder the piggy bank, I can pledge that between now and the Olympic flame being lit in London there is a lot of moolah to grab here in Oldham.

Recently, during talks with His Majesty Lord Coe, I gave him an outline of the facilities we have available. I also gave him a large brown envelope, bulging with most of my years allowances, which I had drawn in advance just in case the pot runs dry. It really hurt parting with all that ~~loot~~ cash, but I am hopeful of getting it back several times over when the whatsits start. I have ~~awarded myself~~ been awarded sole ticket rights for any events we stage. Charlie 'Turd' Parker has a friend who works with a guy who's friendly with a chap who is skilled in precious metal ~~removal~~ refining. Charlie can get us cut price medals and only wants a small commission which probably won't exceed £158,000, so that will save us some money. I wanted to go to 'Pound Medals' but Charlie says his deal makes more sense financially. I hoped to secure the opening ceremonies which would be staged on the platform of the new Mumps tram stop but it looks as if it might not be finished in time. A pity! It would have been the biggest opening in Oldham since Frank Randle opened at the Empire Theatre. We will almost certainly stage the closing. This will be held in The Spindles shopping centre.

Events we have applied to stage and their venues include, but are not limited to ................

The Out Of Town Sprint - Wakes club harriers and big stores would seem to lead the field here.

Slow Bicycle Race - Two laps of a course around Mumps roundabout and Mark Allcock. All traffic signs and diversions to be adhered to. No dismounting.

Synchronised Swimming - Churchill Playing Fields

Karate - The TJ Hughes Centre Of Excellence

Shooting Men's Small Bore - Local hotshot Jerry 'Mithering Twat' Sutcliffe sure to be found in the winners enclosure, or a weighted sack in Crime Lake.

Pot Holing Finals - Scheduled for Ripponden Road

The Marathon - Four laps of the ~~hysterical~~ historic by-pass. Unique in being the only town by-pass in the world to pass through a supermarket car-park and a filling station. - If wet Royton Assembly Hall.

Cleaning The Windows in the Old Town Hall - A new event. Local interest focuses on Don Errock who should clean up here, as long as the event is held out of licensing hours.

Mixed Sumo Wrestling - Final likely to be between local aces Howie 'Honey Boy' Sykes and Anne 'Whirlwind' Wingate. Get your money on the outsider.

Boxing - Al's gym ~~Werneth~~ Royton

Diving - We had hoped to host the diving finals at Oldham Sports Centre but this was ruled out when it was found the boards were not high enough and it was felt that local folk might object to us spending £12Million to raise the roof by 30 feet. My suggestion to lower the water level was unfortunately not considered. Diving will continue to take place at Old Trafford.

I intend this to be a co-operative undertaking i.e. you will do all the work: I will collect the divvi. I intend to let the six local areas run their own arrangements. This way you can't blame me for any cock-ups. To this end we have appointed six new Olympics Senior managers, twelve deputy managers and 18 assistant managers. Office staff will be provided by a temp agency. We have provided office space at all centres and these have been re-furbished at minimum cost, for example we re-carpeted them all with some old carpet that was hanging around my office. It is quite serviceable and looks very nice when laid (unlike most of our lady councillors). All this has resulted in huge savings to the borough so taxpayers can look forward to a smaller rise in Council Tax next year.

Should we be awarded any rowing events, I will have the Park Lake dredged of shopping trolleys and drug dealers and will put the ~~Royal~~ Leader's yacht at the disposal of the organisers for use by the ~~linesmen~~ ~~referees~~ ~~umpires~~ whatever they call those guys in stripey blazers running the show.

Here is an informal snap taken aboard my official yacht, Mayoress II as I am on my way to take the salute at the Spotland Review on the Rochdale canal. It was a tremendous spectacle as ~~dozens~~ ~~several~~ two OAPs in an adapted Eskimo Kayak sailed proudly past responding to my salute with the time honoured response of all canal boaters.

Finally, The Olympic Village. Athletes will be housed in the tented village on Albion Street and Curzon Street. Artisans who are currently using these magnificent purpose built structures will be re-housed pro-tem on the old Tommyfield ~~sight~~ site. We know it will probably cause hardship but, Hey! What the hell! This is for the benefit of everyone in the ~~council~~ town.

That's all for now folks - Securicor have just arrived with my Leaders allowances. So that's the rest of the day gone while I count it.

Thanks for being talked at: ...............Little Jimmy Pudden Face

REE' ORL ABAHT IT!!

2011-08-10T23:00:00.000+01:00

SCOOP !! FROM OUR ROVING CORRESPONDENT.

IT had to happen. We told you they were skint. Whispers Developments, non-re-developers of Royton Assembly Hall, and the favourite company of Jimmy Pudden Face and Counc Gushforth, have gone into liquidation. Below is the official notice filed today. By jove! I do believe this to be a scoop for BB as neither of our two 'news'- papers, The Advertiser nor The Oldham Lie-bour Chronicle, seem to have picked up on the story. Yeah!!!!

Company: WHISPERS DEVELOPMENTS (UK) LTD .

10 Aug 2011

New Company Document

Form: 2.12B -

NOTICE OF ADMINISTRATOR'S APPOINTMENT: LIQ. CASE NO.1:IP NO.00008123,00009204

New Company Document

Form: AD01 - Change of situation or address of registered office

REGISTERED OFFICE CHANGED ON 09/08/2011 FROM
51 JULIA STREET
MANCHESTER
M3 1LN

Registered Address

Was: 51 JULIA STREET,MANCHESTER,M3 1LN

Now: 340 DEANSGATE,MANCHESTER,M3 4LY

Company Status

Was: Active - Proposal to Strike off

Now: In Administration

Company In Liquidation

So, we ain't gonna get the £6900 Whispers owed in unpaid fines and costs. We are gonna miss out on the magnificent spectacle of the two tater-brains pursuing Whispers through the courts again. NOW what will happen to the project? If OMBC still had the £215,000 they got for selling off another bit of the family silver, they could buy it back off the liquidator and we could start the whole process over again. Unfortunately the cash has gone, invested, short term, in councillors allowances and jollies.

Would a new developer be interested in re-starting this project? What looked fairly viable ten years ago must look a big risk in the current economic climate. OMBC can't want to get involved again. They washed their collective sticky fingers of it ten years ago.

What OMBC should do is buy back the site and employ one of Oldham's famous mosque architects to rebuild it. That way we would get a building twice the size for the same price. Mind you, there would only be a one month warranty on the job and the building would be built in six or seven different styles, with different building materials on each side.

Latest score in the long running fiasco:

WHISPERS 8 OMBC 0

89th min OMBC o.g.

90th min Penalty

EXTRA TIME WILL BE PLAYED

WHISPERS, WHISPERS, WHISPERING WHISPERS.............!

2011-08-04T02:08:00.000+01:00

Well, we would have collected on our bet! - See 'Silence in Court...' : Tues. July 26th

Monday August 1st: Enforcement action against the owner of Royton Assembly Hall has failed yet again.

Oldham Council were unable to serve an injunction against Whispers Developments (UK) Ltd. Director Wasim Khan was believed to be on holiday in Pakistan.

The Manchester company purchased the loss-making building for £215,000 (from OMBC) in 2002 but plans to turn it into a venue for functions have failed to materialise. It has already been fined £3,500 plus costs for failing to secure the site. This amount (now £6,900 ) has not been paid.

A county court application for damages and/or to force the company to clear the site was adjourned yesterday until next month. When they won't appear again. What does Little Jimmy Pudden Face think he's going to receive in 'damages'? Whispers haven't paid the last fine. They won't pay the next one and there is no chance of collecting any damages from them. THEY ARE FUCKING SKINT!!!!

How long will it be before Whispers plays the racist card and accuses OMBC of harassing them and puts in a claim against the Council.

Still the building will look nice with a golden dome and minarets at each corner and I bet they build it too high. But what the hell! This is happy-go-lucky Oldham, where anything goes. (Unless it's nailed down, that is).

Remember to keep checking on the promise clock in the right sidebar to see how many of the seven days remain of Gushforth's promise to fix the problem in that time.

LATEST SCORE ...... WHISPERS 6 OLDHAM MBC 0

THEM AS CAN DO ...Them as can't - drag every other bastard down with them!!

2011-08-03T23:23:00.001+01:00

74 per cent of the borough’s 2,900 11-year-olds reached the standard expected of their age in both the English and maths national curriculum tests.

This is down from 75 per cent in Oldham in 2010.

This means 26 per cent or 754 of the borough's 11 year olds will start secondary school in August without a good grasp of both subjects. What the fuck have they been doing for the past six years?

Schools Minister Nick Gibb said: “There has been a decline in the proportion of children — both boys and girls — who can read and write beyond the expected level.

“And the results of our weakest readers and writers also remain a real concern.

“We are determined to raise standards of reading. We can and must do much better for the one in 10 boys who at the age of 11 can read no better than a seven–year–old.” Who is teaching them???? Did no teacher notice for over four years that 26 per cent of their raison d'etre were in failure mode? In any other industry or profession failure over such a period would result in dismissal. What do we do with fucking teachers? Promote the brainwashed bastards!

Deare sir
its' evedent from reding the leters page's in the ~~locle~~ locol paper just how bad the porblim is. wHo shoud we blame for that! i balme the techers they of be come so full of idologie's that educaton as sufered. pEraps they woud like to go of on strike in protess at these comints: Be beter if the ~~chindrl~~ ~~chillre~~ KiDs where of on striKe untill the techer's got there fuking act toogether? evry bLeding year it get's worser. SOrt the usless' bastard's out know befour its to late?

yOur's ~~fathefu~~ ~~cinsere~~ trully

Ex HeAdmaster

WEE WILLY WANKER RUNS THROUGH THE TOWN ....Upstairs and downstairs in his NIGHTGOWN!!!!!

2011-08-03T22:40:00.003+01:00

"I got this great suit. Pound Universe opening offer. Very bespoke indeed, innit?"

Shared Services Centre brings 65 50 20 jobs to Oldham

ONE of Oldham Council’s private sector partners, Mouchel, is bringing new jobs to Oldham by relocating services to the borough.
Fact: They are relocating because they were forced to close their Liverpool operation to save money.

The move by the consulting and business services group, to consolidate some of its own business services to the town will bring more than 50 jobs, with many being taken up by local people. How fucking many exactly?
A spokesman for Mouchel said in December: " We are continuing to demonstrate our commitment to Oldham, most recently with the announcement that we will be bringing 65 new jobs to the borough." So that's fifteen jobs gone already!

Twenty of the roles were filled following a successful (sic) recruitment day in the council’s offices open to local residents, Oldham Council and Unity Partnership staff. Twenty??? how many unemployed are there in Oldham?

Last October, Mouchel announced losses of over £14.7 million and was forced to reduce its staff by 2,000 across the country. Mouchel's bankers, Barclays, RBS and Lloyds called in accountants Deloitte to examine the company's books.At the time Mouchel had £180M of bank debt. I bet OMBC wish they had £180M.

Little Jimmy Pudden Face, leader of the Labour group which appointed the Chief Executive who signed Oldham up to a 12 year agreement with this company, said at the time, "we should delay transfering further Council services to the partnership." “First we have had to agree a bailout to stop losses following the failure of Mouchel to bring in the promised new work". “We then had Oldham’s call centre moved to Rochdale, and have been forced to accept a shared management team with Rochdale to save money.” So, effectively, we have been paying money, to save money, to a company that is losing money!

This money we are talking about is your money folks. It's what's left of your council tax after the council have dipped their stickies in it.

SOoo! what has changed now? Nowt probably. Mouchel are most likely still going down the pan. OMBC still haven't got a clue how to do anything efficiently and without a major cock-up. This probably explains the smiling simpleton's absence from the meaningless bullshit picture, not wanting to be seen having anything to do with the scheme. Sending instead Counc Daktari, looking like a bag of shit wrapped in a pudding cloth to represent this town. Do we need further reminders of how far this town has sunk when so-called civic leaders turn up for civic events looking like they've just rolled out of their wanking pit?

Incidentally how does all this fit in with Little Jimmy's plan for a utopian co-operative council? He's already giving t'divvi away to outsiders while our Councillors, Council Officials and Executive Officers do fucking less and less for ever more bucketfuls of our cash from the golden trough.

The firm’s joint venture with the council runs a number of the authority’s services including ICT, highways and engineering, property, and customer services such as Access Oldham in the civic building, revenues and benefits and contact centre. This explains a lot of things.

"Its new Shared Services Centre in the Oldham Business Centre, Cromwell Street, will provide ‘back office services’ such as finance, HR administration, payroll and procurement services to the company’s 9,000 employees nationwide."

Are WE paying for this perchance?

Why would any organisation or authority want or need to employ this company who can't even run their own affairs competently and efficiently and post a £15M loss?

Previously, Mouchel’s services were split across a number of sites and the company says the consolidation will provide a better, more efficient service. Huh! They are supposedly a 'consulting and business services group.' They lost 15M Quid, had £180M of bank debt and had to ditch 2,000 staff! What exactly is their field of expertise? What can they teach OMBC who are quite capable of bankrupting this town without outside assistance? Sending us all down the shitter.

Counc Daktari, Deputy Leader and Member with Portfolio for Painting and Decorating, said: “Mouchel is proving to be an essential partner for the council during a period of tough financial challenges. mainly brought about by our inability to run anything without it being a complete fuck-up. This move is good news for Oldham, bringing extra jobs, skills and revenue to the town.” Until the next £15M goes down the pan that is. Why do we need to import more people into the town? We have enough home grown talent with the skills to destroy the jobs and revenues of this sad place.

Peter Studd, Shared Services Director for Mouchel, said: “Our new Shared Service Centre will enable us to offer more effective business services like payroll, finance and HR. Can the wanker not see the irony here? Here he is blowing his corporate trumpet for a company that can't even keep it's own affairs in order. This could only happen in to Oldham.

BULLSHIT....BULLSHIT AND YET MORE BULLSHIT!!!!!

YOU WERE WARNED.....IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO SAY.....NO !!

SIGN THE PETITION ..... Let's get out before we are taken over completely!

2011-08-01T02:30:00.000+01:00

THE great British public has a chance to help force a key vote on Britain leaving the European Union.

"The Government has said it will consider any issue for Parliamentary debate if 100,000 people put their names to it. With the weight of feeling about the EU in this country, particularly over the economic bailouts,
we could easily achieve 10 times that number!

Click here to sign the petition

SEEK THE ANSWER IN THE TEA-LEAVES!

2011-08-01T02:27:00.000+01:00

Police seek help (God knows they need it!)

A specialist team of police officers is desperately hunting for a stolen memory stick that contains “vital and confidential” information — and have appealed for the public’s help.

The device was stolen from the car of an off-duty police officer in Saddleworth, which is experiencing an unprecedented crime wave, almost a fortnight ago when an opportunist thief struck.

Head of Oldham CID Sgt Colin Olcars said, "It's vital we get it back." " It's not encoded and holds all the details of the officers brews at Oldham police station. Some of the lads are getting a bit desperate as they have not had a cuppa for almost two weeks."

As well as holding the recipes for making the tea and coffee, the stick also holds info on each officers preferences i. e. sugar-no sugar, how many? Ginger or choccy biccy? Who is the Noddy and Big Ears Mug? Who is Porky the Pig? etc., etc. Every one of them is cross referenced in the 'mug-shot' file to make identification easier.
When asked what would happen if the stick was not found Sgt Olcars said, "I don't really know it's a very serious matter and we are very concerned. I suppose we could all bring flasks.

EVENIN'ALL!

....AND THIS LITTLE PIGGY WENT ..... W££££! ...... All the way to Oldham!

2011-08-01T01:46:00.001+01:00

Charley 'Turd' Parker

13th October 2008. That's the day he started 'work'.Chief Executive OMBC. Has anyone noticed the acceleration into grim decay and despair since that fateful day? Every fucking thing he's touched since his arrival has turned to shit in his hands. He's cost us millions on umpteen ill-advised schemes. His advice on most things he has stuck his oar into has been detrimental to this town, e g Vance Miller. The man is incompetent. What qualifications does he have apart from a cosying up arrangement with English Partnerships? £213,000 per annum we are paying him. Is he willing to take a pay cut to help out in our time of need? Is he fucking hell and that's no! To the moronic single celled life-forms on our council he probably stands out as a fountain of all knowledge and a shining beacon to guide them through the murky ooze. To the rest of us he is a perpetually smiling snake-oil salesman, a con artist in the Blair mould. He rapidly padded out his empire shortly after his arrival with the appointment of several arse lickers and sacrificial lambs. He has achieved nothing in the nearly three years he has been sponging off us but he talks a good game. He sits in his (refurbished at our expense) office in the Tower of Babble collecting his overblown paycheck and adding thousands to his pension while the town goes to hell in a handcart and the citizens of this once proud town struggle along with less and less each passing year.
Do you remember the local headlines when he got the job? 'Best man for the job.' 'You have to pay top money if you want the best.' 'We are very lucky to get him.' Lucky??? Fuck me, I'm glad we didn't get a fucking dead-leg! We would have been in the shit by now.

We need to get rid of the smarmy fucker ASAP otherwise there will be fuck all left of this town to ruin further.

How did we come to choose the wanker? Ah! There's a tale. Little Jimmy Pudden Face conducted the interviews for the position. All good 'ole boys together eh? A little bit 'ere a little bit there! A lot of mutual backscratching. Did anyone hear of any other candidates for the job or was it another Lie-bour shoo-in? Oh by the way these were the interviews where little Jimmy Pudden Face demanded another £600 in expenses on top of the £22,000 he was already getting plus his other job. The Lie-bour con artists are drawn to other people's money aren't they?

SAY ....NO!! ....LET'S GET RID OF THE FUCKING PARASITES!

P S Speaking of the Vance Miller case - Has anyone heard how much it is going to cost us yet - or are the lawyers still sweating over their calculators?

IT'S EASY TO MAKE A MISTAKE ....It's all them fucking zeros doing me 'ead in!

2011-08-01T00:36:00.000+01:00

Financial incompetence over funding for the Chadderton Wellbeing Centre has cost Oldham taxpayers £7 million.

Members of the Lie-bour 2007-08 cabinet are to face a grilling by Oldham Council’s audit committee over this and other blunders that have seen yearly running costs for the £17 million centre costing eight times more than was first forecast. The committee has asked members to explain their decisions before it next meets on September 15.

But council leader Jim McMahon has hit out at Lib-Dem sniping over the affair saying “This is a sign of desperation.

NO! Jimmy Pudden face it's us the poor fucking tax-payers who are desperate!! Day after day, week after week, month after month we are shat on from ever greater heights by the cocksuckers in the Tower! None of you could even run a twatting tap without fucking something up.

The moon faced loon says, “The Liberal Democrats had three years to sort it and did nothing." What the fuck could they do? YOU cost US an extra £7Million because you fucked up the capital funding.

You perceived annual running costs for the state-of-the-art centre in Wellington Street to be budgeted at £100,000 — but it was discovered that £811,000 a year was actually needed. That's eight times what was budgeted for, EIGHT TIMES, you fucking innumerate wanker.

If total build costs were £7Million over budget and running costs are eight times the projected figure how come the accounts balanced? Creative accounting?? Where did the extra come from? I thought we were skint! Where is the extra three-quarters of a Mil a year for running expenses coming from? We are supposedly looking for millions in cuts?

A report on the matter has now gone before the committee and this states that the council had not got “best value” and described lease costs as ‘excessive’.
Financial and management controls on the project were described as either “inadequate” or “weak”, and there was a lack of open scrutiny. Cabinet members had an uncritical attitude and floundered about with inadequate information available to them.

Liberal Dems were devastating the town when the centre opened in November, 2009, but the finances were calculated in April, 2007 and approved the following year, when Lie-bour waved everything through on the nod..

Lib-Dems say Lie-bour councillors McMahon, Hibbert, Stretton, Phil Harrison and McDonald — all back in the present cabinet — were party to the decision, which was taken in private three days before the 2008 local elections. Do you think that famous five understand anything about what happened? Of course not. they were all toeing the party line and were just obeying orders. Just look at the brain-power on display there and you will not be surprised at whatever they got up to.

Lib-Dem Councillor Thompson said: “Chadderton Wellbeing Centre is an excellent facility but the costs are staggering, “It could have been built and run for very much less." So if you had known the true cost would you have continued the project?

The Labour twats chose the most expensive option in order to be able to sign the contracts by April 30, 2008 and score points over the opposition.

Cllr Jimmy Pudden Face said, "It wasn't me mister, it was some other big boys what done it."

He said: “I’ll turn up if only to find out what is in the review myself.” We can tell you that Moon-face, £7Million more than the estimate, plus eight times the projected running costs per year.

An honest mistake he will probably claim. I say we should claim the overspend back off the knobheads who voted it through without due dilligence. It's our money! let's ask for it back!!

THE FRENCH HAVE A WORD FOR IT! .... Yeah, it's 'Va te faire foutre'

2011-07-31T22:35:00.000+01:00

Manchester's tram network is set to be taken over by RATP a French-government owned firm in a secret deal.

Stagecoach, which has run the Metrolink system since 2007, are to pull the plug despite having six years left to run on their contract.

Latest accounts show Stagecoach Metrolink made a pre-tax profit of £4.1m in the last financial year on a turnover of £27m.

OK Brace yourselves folks. There's some bad news acoming from somewhere. What do Stagecoach know that TfGM don't? What is coming that would cause them to walk away from a £4 Million plus profit, just as we are in the middle of a huge expansion of the system? Do they know it will not work? Is there a major problem with the operating system? They have six years left to run on their contract.

We were given to understand that Stagecoach tendered for this contract. Has RATP tendered for this contract?

If not how come Stagecoach can give it away to any Tom, Dick or Jean Paul?

Who gave them the authority to give the contract to this French company? Were TfGM consulted? Are TfGM accomplices in this?

As Stagecoach have reneged on their contract are they to be allowed to keep the profits or can TfGM claw it back to install RATP, or any other EU company?

Who is in charge TfGM or Stagecoach?

QUESTIONS ....... QUESTIONS ....... QUESTIONS

NO ANSWERS AT PRESENT!!!

An idea of the seriousness of this move can be seen in the fact that the leaders of Greater Manchester's ten local authorities were being briefed on the move in a behind-closed-doors meeting yesterday. They've never moved that fast in years.

An announcement about the handover is expected to be made on the London Stock Exchange on Tuesday. That sounds like it's going to be good news don't it?

It is still unclear why Stagecoach wants to pull out with so long left on its contract. A spokesbody for TfGM said yesterday: "Transport for Greater Manchester will not comment on speculation about one of its business partners." What! Not even if it leaves them in the doo-dah when they hand the fucking job over to a bunch of Frogs without even so much as a kiss my arse or a merci blowthrough

The 'big bang' Metrostink expansion plans should have seen the network treble in size, with extensions planned for East Didsbury, Ashton-under-Lyne, Oldham, Rochdale and Manchester airport. A new line to Chorlton has already opened.

We guess that the leaders of the ten GM local authorities experienced a severe constriction of the sphincter when they attended yesterdays briefing. Note it wasn't just a meeting of TfGM, but all heads of local councils.
We can almost guarantee they didn't like what they heard. We can guarantee you ain't gonna like what's coming folks!!
This could boil down to the fact that OUR council stole our rail system in the hope of getting a financial reward from the Metrostink system and that reward is probably not going to be forthcoming! Prepare to say thank-you OMBC for another great fuck up!!

OOOoooH! smell that BULLDUST wafting in on the summer breeze!!!

SILENCE IN COURT! ....Aye there will be no-one will turn up!

2011-07-26T23:42:00.000+01:00

Whispers Developments, the owners of Royton Assembly Hall are being taken to court again in August by OMBC. Anyone want to take bets on them turning up? You would have thought that with their past record with court appearances Oldham Council would try and keep a low profile. After all they haven't paid for the Vance Miller fiasco yet, (have they?). Anyone heard anything further on that? But no, not our eager legal eagles led by the ferocious tigers in that treasure house of litigation, the Council Legal Department. Onward ever onward is their motto.

If the Council had received the £6,699, plus mounting legal costs, that Whispers Developments Ltd, were fined last time they didn't appear, then we could have used that cash to pursue them into not appearing again, but as we know that was never paid. Why has there been no concerted effort to rectify this? If it were you or I owing even a groat to this bloody council, we'd have had bailiffs living with us permanently while they syphoned off every penny they could and sold our children into slavery!

Having failed to turn up to two meetings with Oldham Council officials to discuss the building’s future, the council is now taking enforcement action.

Ten fucking years this has been going on!!!

What have OMBC been doing over that decade? Trying to arrange TWO meetings!!! And NOW! they talk about enforcement action. What action? What can they do? Very little it appears. They can't put a compulsory purchase order on it. The council couldn't afford it anyway. They can't take over the premises and finish the job then claim the cost from the developers. Why? Because the developers are fucking skint! Read the details on these cowboys at Companies House.If they are skint they can't afford to finish the job. Will another company step in and purchase the rotting hulk? Unlikely. Who would pay them? Who would pay off the mortgage that is presumably hanging over the site? Who would buy the finished building? OMBC? Don't think so! What would the finished building be? How tall can minarets be? Another question. In 2002 Whispers bought the building for £215,000. From whom? Oh yes, I see it now, it was from OMBC. What happened to the cash? How much is left? It's not all been frittered away has it? That's almost a full three months council allowances!
Council leader Jim McMahon and Councillor Steven Bashforth will attend the hearing at Oldham Magistrates’ Court on August 1 to put an end to what they call “a sorry saga”. Well that makes us all feel a lot happier knowing we're in good hands. Would they care to inform us how they intend to do it?

Anyhow as we said at the start, they probably won't turn up, Whispers that is, not Little Jimmy Pudden Face and Gushforth. They have an unbeaten record in this competition:

Current scores - Whispers 5 OMBC 0

Don't forget you can keep track of this fast developing story via our Promise Clock in the right sidebar. Seven days, The Gusher said. See how much time remains on our countdown timer.

Perhaps while they are having their day in court the two amigos could pursue the owners of another building in the Borough that has been left derelict for a lot longer than Royton Assembly Hall. This is the large edifice with the neo-classical facade which is almost opposite The War Memorial on High Street. We believe it used to be called The Town Hall. Now it is purely a showcase for dozens of unique algae and lichens, not to mention the several sordid banners hung on it and the beauty of it's neo-bombsite wooden windows. You can't fucking fix that PuddenFace! Why are we not holding our breath over your latest foray into the dark underbelly of the law?

We show another pic of the gothic horror with no apologies. We need to spread word of our treasures far and wide, for don't forget, Metrostink will be with us shortly (well maybe) and there will be hordes of sightseers descending on our picturesque habitat and gawping at our beautifully preserved historic sites. Probably a few scientists from Porton Down as well investigating the alien life forms clinging to the neo-festering edifice!

FUCKING HYPOCRITES ..... THE LOT OF YOU!!!!

READ ALL ABOUT IT!! ...... New Oldham Newspaper The Lie-bor Chronicle!

2011-07-26T03:36:00.002+01:00

Read the worst piece of fucking fawning, sick inducing brown-nosing published in this town in a long while!!

I'm Back - - - Click link to read the vomit provoking crap!

I’m back — and there’s unfinished business

Martyn Torr Meets... ~~TheCreature From The Cess Pit~~ Councillor John Battye, the ~~Labourite~~ Lie-bourshite who lives and breathes Oldham

Quite why we have been subjected to this full page biased diatribe at this time is unclear. Unless John Bacon Buttye is about to do another of his smash and grab raids on Oldham council as he did in Millenium year, when he stole the Mayoralty even though it was not his or even the Lie-bour party's turn to elect the Mayor.

The electorate soon got their revenge however and voted him out at the next election. There were whispered rumours of other shenanigans at the time. We had no worries about his defeat in the Millennium elections. We'd had enough of his allowance grabbing, his shiftiness, his take over of everything he could get his hands on.

Do we learn? Do we fuck! The sheep of Failsworth West, unable to find a local candidate, if you can believe that, had him foisted upon them and he was shoe-horned in by the local Lie-bour party.

Wiping shit off his nose, reporter, or sycophant as we prefer to call him, Martyn Torr, taking a short break from his whitewashing job, said, "Before I go any further let me state, unequivocally, that this piece is not intended as a shot at Battye-esque redemption, or an attempt to rewrite history." Well tell us what the hidden fucking agenda is then Marty baby!

Torr said Buttye had told him he would never return to public life, yet here he is once again getting involved. We told you he was a liar!!!

In an imaginative piece of investigative journalism he asked Ol' Blubber Lips, "Why are you back and where have you been since 2000? Does Torr not keep up to date with current events? Does he not read his own paper? This is the devious cunning, lying piece of shit who was instrumental along with that other fragrant lump of Lie-bour sewage, Fitzpatrick, in running the election campaigns of the other waste of oxygen, Woolyarse! This as you may recall resulted in the expulsion of said Woolyarse from parliament. You remember don't you folks? When Buttye was quoting Elwyn Watkin's supposed election expenses. Figures he had conjured out of thin air. When he was planting letters in the Oldham Chronicle purportedly from a slag of this town, later proved to be a benefit thief!

His answers, as you would expect from a consummate crook — for he is a Lie-bour man to his very core and thrives on the corruption of local politics and revels in the expenses trough — were bullshit tinged with a hint of fuck-you!.

“I'm back," he said, "Because a letter had been published in the Chronicle, by a member of the Liberal Democrats, which was about me and which I can only describe as vicious. I wasn’t in public life, hadn’t been for 10 years and yet I was the subject of this vitriolic attack.” Just shows how everyone else apart from the red flag fuck-pigs, hates him. Could he not take the hint??

"Why am I back," he asked “Unfinished business.” Aye more allowances and jollies!!

He claims Latics would be up and running in their new stadium if the electorate hadn't seen the light and fucked him off. He said, "The money was in place, the planning permission was in place and we had permission from the Charity Commission to develop Clayton playing fields." The money was tax-payers money belonging to the people of Oldham and was from the sale of the old Westwood running track. This money, some £11Million has been living a very quiet life recently. Anyone out there know what happened to it?? The only planning permission was outline permission and the Charity Commissioners were never approached over this matter!!

He continued, "“We had verbal promises from BSkyB to use the stadium as their northern hub for parking of their outside broadcast vehicles and as a northern studio." Not worth the paper it was printed on!!

He was educated at Hulme Grammar School — “I hated every minute" he recalls, they on the other hand are immensely proud of him and bask in the reflected glow of his probity and uprightness. It was a lecture by the head teacher, H B Shaw, which has clearly had a lasting influence on his life. H B Shaw had a lasting influence on virtually every boy who passed or bent down before him.

Because of some Civics lecture that Harry Shaw gave, this little twerp ran home to his mummy and immediately joined the Lie-bour party. Nowt to do with the tripe about generations of true red Lie-bour sheep or his father, Bernard Gravy Boattye, a former membership secretary of the party, and his grandfather, Percy Coattail, one of the Labour movement’s great movers and shakers.What did he move and shake then???? We'll skip the bit about mummy finding him a job and his endearing phone calls. It's too sick making! What a mummy's boy. Mind you we can tell that just by looking at his slapped arse face.

He also looks back on a full wallet which has encompassed the chairmanship of the Association of Greater Manchester Authorities, and a year as chair of Manchester Airport when it was spending £1 million a week completing Terminal Two and he was helping them.

Reporter: Martyn Torr .........

..........Who wants a good fucking for this arsehole creeping glorification of one of the biggest bent bastards ever involved in the running of this town. The man is a charlatan, a liar, a manipulator. He is devious and self-serving and will stoop to any level, or lower, to achieve his ends.

We don't know what possessed the OEC to print this toadying twaddle, but if any of you folk out there are in any doubt as to who's side your beloved rag is on. Read this and weep!!!

All we need now is for Jeremy Mithering Twat Sutcliffe to make a comeback and we will probably have a full commemorative edition, complete with photos. Photos will be available from your 'New Lie-bour Chron' office, prices reasonable, discount for quantity.

Possible other articles to follow 'I'm Back'

Jack Hulme ....'Where am I going?'

Diddy Dave Hibbert .... 'Back Shortly'

Ann Wingate .... 'Have I been away?'

Ian Barker .... 'There and back again'

Derek Heffernan .... 'The 'eadless 'orseman rides above'

Adrian Alexander .... 'Which way is it?'

Howie (FB) Sykes .... 'Cast your fat to the winds'

Peter Dean .... 'Where am I?'

Hugh McDonald .... 'I'm with him'

BEAM ME FUCKING UP..SCOTTY!!!!

A POUND TO A PINCH OF SHIT...... It'll be another ££££ store!

2011-07-24T23:21:00.000+01:00

We have not seen any official announcements on latest developments in our town centre, especially in our fav Lie-bour mag The Oldham Chronicle. But this is probably to be expected as they are working flat out to sell as many photos as possible from their latest wheeze, the School Prom. This is an alien English concept shoved down our throats by the OEC when they discovered they could sell hundreds of pix of fat young girls in totally unsuitable frocks cavorting with accordion trousered yoofs wearing their first and probably last suit and looking as if they had only ever worn a tie to keep their pants just below their arses. Our beloved paper probably tells 'em all how beautiful they are and not having any mirrors in their homes they swallow it all, hook line and sinker.

Anyhow we came across this below and in the absence of any official word on the future of our much beloved shopping centre we think there may be a clue somewhere in the ad. See if you can spot it.

The Prom photos may be severely curtailed in future years as a result of this announcement. It will be a big loss when the bespoke suit and frock deparment closes.

The nails are sliding into the coffin at an ever increasing rate. Will there be anybody left to attend the funeral??

YOU HAVE CUTS! ..................We also are struggling to make ends meet! I think this year they will meet in the Maldives!

2011-07-24T22:46:00.001+01:00

The Thievin' Troughers are still at it!!! £300,000 in expenses.

Oldham MPs claimed almost £300,000 in expenses between them during the last ~~parliamentary year~~ eleven months.
Figures released by the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority (IPSA) showed Ashton money sponge David 'Grabber' Heyes, whose constituency includes Failsworth and Hollinwood, claimed the most, £131,226.90 between May, 2010, and the end of March, 2011.
He was closely followed by Michael 'Mickey Ten-Houses' Meacher , MP for Oldham West and Royton, who hoovered up £130,215. Debbie Abrahams, who was only voted into the Oldham East and Saddleworth MP seat on January 14 following Oldham’s historic by-election, managed to scoop a mini-jackpot with a claim for £22,756.78. Didn't take long for her to get the gravy train re-routed, did it?

The highest individual payout item went to Meac£er who claimed £105,478.19 on staffing costs. Staffing fucking costs?? Who the fuck are these people he is employing? How many the fuck are there?? What the fuck are they doing?? Meac£er does fuck all so why he needs 105 grands worth of staff to assist him do it beats us! For that sort of money he could employ Woolyarse. Oh, Shit! Many a true word spoken in jest! But, knowing this devious set of wankers, would you be surprised if it were true folks?

MPs earn a basic salary of £65,738.

David Lammy (Lie-bour, Tottenham) claimed the most allowances with £173,922. His second home in the constituency and travel between there and Westminster probably swallowed most of that

Heyes troughed £65,738 + £131, 226.90 = £196,964.90 Over the period this amounts to £600 per day. Note his exes are almost exactly twice his salary again.

Meac£er, the 'rent boy' conned his way to £65,738 + £130,215.21 = £195, 953.21 - Per day this = £597 Exes twice salary again! Is he still claiming for mortgage payments after 41 years???

Abra£ams In office just 76 days glommed pro-rata salary £13,688 + £22,756.78 = £36,444.78 - per day this = £479 Didn't take her long to learn the ropes!

Best 'til last? Disgraced and disgraceful Former Oldham East and Saddleworth MP Phil Woolyarse, the lying, conniving thieving little bastard who lost his seat when a court ruled he had broken election rules, claimed £37,572.71 in winding up costs and a total of £107,523.98 in expenses claims from May 7 to November 5, 2010. This in addition to pro rata salary for the same period of £32,799 = £177,896 This equates to £977 per day paid to the slimeball. Yeah! Read that again folks! Almost a grand a day for the little shite! His expenses for just under half a year are almost what he claimed in previous years for the full term! Is there an explanation for this? Or was he just grabbing as much as he could before the lid of the treasure chest slammed shut? Projected over the full year he would have been claiming about £215,000 in exes if he hadn't had such a stroke of luck getting involved with Messers Battye and Fitzpatrick. Oh, happy day! Do you ever wonder if you are in the wrong job???

Question: Why did little Woolyarse get winding up costs? These are designed for MPs who leave Parliament, either through retirement or being defeated in an election. Which did the little slimeball come under? The man was sacked, evicted, ejected, fucked off by the courts, he left in disgrace. How come he qualifies????
The IPSA, which administers and regulates MPs’ expenses, refused to reimburse two train ticket claims by Meac£er totalling £87.40. Probably off collecting his rents!
They also refused a general administration claim by Heyes for £129.84.
Heyes was also only reimbursed £530.16 for a general administration claim of £660. The deduction amounts to the mysterious £129.84. What can you get for £129.84?
But, listen to this, 39 claims from 35 MPs were either not paid in full or not paid at all. Out of 650 of the most bent bastards in the country 615 of them collected on the thousands of claims submitted bar 39? Do us a fucking favour IPSA, pull the other one. We're not all fucking stoopid!!

MPs claimed a total of £70.6 million in parliamentary expenses over the financial year. Between the lot of them that works out at £108,615 apiece. I'm sure we could find better things to do with the money.
In Oldham there are lots of places we could have used the £607,259 wasted on our three and a half Members. Maybe we could have spent it on 'consultants' to research the possibility of having a leisure and entertainment complex alongside the Metrostink at Mumps!!!!!!

HOW MUCH LONGER DO WE HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THESE THIEVING BASTARDS? - WE HAVE GOT TO MAKE OUR VOICE HEARD .... SAY..NO..NO...NO!!!!!

HAPPINESS IS A FULL QUIVER!

2011-07-24T01:06:00.000+01:00

Another little gem from our friend Captain Ranty

Dear Whitehall.....

I was delighted to read yesterday that you have instructed your minions to find ways to improve the nation's happiness quotient.

I am equally delighted to offer you some suggestions. Please see the list below, which is not exhaustive, but will increase my personal happiness by a factor of 10,000 if all are achieved by say, next Friday.

In no particular order:

Leave the EU. Tear up ECA 1972.
Stop giving millions of £££'s to countries that run a space programme.
Cancel all cheques for foreign aid.
Buy aircraft for our carriers.
Retrain the police force so that they do not see every citizen as an uncaught criminal.
Scrap around 99% of those unnecessary statutes.
Reduce the size of government to two ministers-one for defence and one for foreign relations
Slam that immigration door. Round up illegals and deport them.
Sack hundreds of thousands of NHS mandarins. Employ cleaners instead.
Remove benefits for those indolents that refuse to work.
Take better care of our returning, injured service people.
Root out, and shoot, all paedophiles.
Reduce income tax to 5%.
Reduce the price of petrol to 10p per litre.
Rescind the smoker ban.
Delete any plans relating to the carbon tax insanity.
Build more power stations.
Cap the cost of electricity and natural gas.
Take better care of our young, our sick, and our elderly.
Privatise the BBC
Stop giving taxpayers money to "charities".
Stop, and I really do mean stop, interfering in our lives.

Got it?

Good.

This is only a start. I will have a new list for you when you have completed this one. My commenters here may have some additional suggestions. Read the comments and make them happy by doing as they instruct you.

Yours sincerely,

Captain Ranty (Retd). GO PAY HIM A VISIT FOLKS!

I DON'T LIKE THE PRODUCT. .... but I have a huge photo collection of the containers!

2011-07-23T03:06:00.000+01:00

Former leader of the council Fat Bastard Sykes, believes Oldham has been made a national “laughing stock” after a woman was told she couldn’t breastfeed her child in the civic centre.
FB, now leader of the opposition, believes the council’s handling of the issue , was too little too late.
He said: “Nobody told me about this until too late, I'm big enough to handle any issue no matter from where it emanates. Oldham is once again a sucker for bad news."
“Some of us have spent lots of time and effort to change people’s perceptions of Oldham over the last few years. This has made us look like we are back in the dark ages.” What exactly do you mean, by 'back' your immensity? Did we miss the age of enlightenment in the town by some slippage of time? As for the town being made 'A laughing stock', how can this be possible? Does one hear folk cackling mirthfully when the name of the town crops up? Most people we've met hold their head in their hands, groaning and wailing like lost souls when the "Village of The Damned' is mentioned. Maybe, just maybe, there is a remote community, Africa or Polynesia perhaps where this news would be greeted with ribald laughter. It's possible as this latest 'good news' from the Rotten Borough was broadcast halfway round the world. As though we haven't got enough millstones around our necks!
Exhibitionist Emma Mitchell (32), from Shaw, was outraged at being told to go to the Spindles and Town Square shopping centre to feed her baby, Aaron, after being told the council’s headquarters was a “multicultural centre”. And here's us thinking it was A Civic Centre, the council's HQ and allowances distribution centre.
Under UK law, mothers can breastfeed in public whatever the baby’s age. Our 'little baby' was forty this year. I'm going to see if I can get him and his dear Mama up to the Civic Centre sometime soon for light refreshments. It may be a little difficult as she would have to unfasten her belt to get at the feeding implements. But, hey-ho life is not always a bowl of cherries.
The story has since been broadcast by national and international newspapers and TV. Just what we needed, more good news!
OMBC are implementing measures for the future. Leader of the council, Counc Jimmy 'Pudden-Face' McMahon told the meeting that the incident was a “cock-up”. N-o-o-o, Little Jim, the cock-up is what necessitated the pause that refreshes. This was more of a 'bust up' if you ask us Puddy.
He said: “What we do is employ people and trust them to get on with their job in the most appropriate way — making sure the policies are in place and training is provided.”

Little Jimmy baby, more bad news: The policies are NOT in place and the training like most things involving trains in Oldham has been scrapped.
In protest at the Council's actions a group of young mothers staged a 'feed in' at the Civic centre. This further enhanced the image of Oldham in the eyes of the world. Does anyone know of a City, Town or Village anywhere in the known world that has managed to fuck up so many things in so short a time with so much attendant publicity?
Later, an un-named council employee, Mr Harry Oller said, "I haven't seen so many tits in the civic Centre since the Lib-Dems ran the place."

BLOGGER ME!! .... What makes Oldham sick - -sorry tick?

2011-07-22T22:00:00.001+01:00

Hackers, believed to be recently employed by the News Of The World have managed to get behind the facade of our leader Jim Pudden Face's so called blog. We shall gleefully publish the real thoughts of the Red Muppet as he attempts to string us along with this latest attempt at trying to be 'one of us'.

Before we publish his secret ramblings there are a couple of questions we need him to answer.

1. Is he thinking up and writing all the tosh we have seen so far, in his own time, or, as usual, are we paying through the nose for a jumped up wanker of a nobody to swan around at our expense?

2. Why is he using the old Oldham coat of Arms on his 'Blogsite'??

We quote from the official Oldham Council Website:

Oldham Metropolitan Borough Coat of Arms

"The Mayoralty of Oldham is the only office approved to use the Borough’s Coat of Arms.'

Is little Jimmy P also the secret Mayor of the Rotten Borough ? Is Dick Knowless just a front, (well yes we know he is a cottage front, but that is a subject for future blogs). Has he got ideas above his station?? Oh sorry! Forgot we have no stations.
So we would like to remind the jumped up little allowance gobbler exactly what his Coat of Arms looks like.

YEP! That's right it's the same piece of shite the rest of us have to put up with after you and your fellow escapees from the Barmpot ward, paid a bunch of Scam Artists £100,000 of OUR money for this intricate design. Seriously folks do you think this piece of juvenile crap is worth 100 grand of our money? This equates to the council tax from 100 homes! But, what the hell! The town is thriving, all is rosy. We have full employment. The town centre is a bustling hub of commerce. We are spoiled by the abundance of leisure facilities and amenities. We can travel to all parts of the globe on a whim. Aye, on a whim maybe but not on a fucking train since you and the other feebles cut us off from the world. So Jimmy baby, this is your and our symbol of the dynamic borough. Use the turquoise Polo Mint, Jimmy, we have to. By the way have you noticed it's similarity to a big fat ZERO! Quite apt for a town that has virtually fuck all left.

Blog The First

Welcome aboard all you lovely ~~tax cows, suckers and gluttons for punishment~~ sensible Lie-bour voters, who voted for ~~Me...Me...Me~~ our glorious party in the local election. To know that 21% of the electorate is right behind you is a comforting thought. I shall do my utmost to ~~rip you off~~ justify my huge allowances and will be making as many savings as possible. Here you see me, in front of my that Coat Of Arms again, making a start as I cut up previous leader, Fat Bastard Syke's 'vinegar strokes' loyalty card from Shaw Chippy. In the short time he was in this, MY rightful office, the fat cunt managed to accumulate 368,000 points. Enough for 247 full fish suppers (with unlimited peas) or free chips for the next 12 years and unfettered use of the salt and vinegar. WELL!! he's not going to get them. I've seen to that. At a time when ordinary residents are struggling to pay their Council Tax and Bailiffs charges, not to mention other household bills, I think it sends out the wrong message for an elected ~~Fat Bastard~~ Politician to have this facility. It was a 'no-brainer' for me, Jimmy No-Brain. Another part of our new approach, entitled, 'Our new Approach' began on Monday. We took the Cabinet out of the Civic Centre, but none of the second hand furniture dealers would give us more than 2 quid so we dumped it in a back alley in Allcock's (by name not nature), ward. We met for the first time outside The Tower Of Babble and approved plans to re-open Limecroft Day Centre in the building itself. I didn't tell the rest of the ~~morons~~ Cabinet my plans but I intend to make it a secure facility and have already ear-marked some of the ~~cells~~ tastefully decorated suites for the non-believers who were present.
If you have any questions, topics or comments you would like me to cover in future blogs, forget it! This is My blog, MINE and I'll write what the fuck I want and you lot can go fiddle with yourselves.

Thanks for being talked at:

Little Jimmy Pudden-Face

IT'S ACTUALLY AN OPTICAL ILLUSION MADAM .... Oldham is flatter than Norfolk in parts.

2011-07-12T04:19:00.000+01:00

First pictures of the new "Whisk-A Tomic" integrated public transport system. Designed to move shoppers quickly between the Town Centre Car Park at Cannon Street and the Town Centre at the.....errr! Town Centre. Responding to criticism that Cannon Street is hardly the Town Centre, a Council spokesbody said, "It all depends on what you mean by Town Centre, we, in infrastructure forecasting, foreclosing and urban degeneration consider 'Town Centre' to be a fluid concept." (Yeah and you've flushed the whole shooting match down the shitter. ed)

They thought long and hard. They burned the midnight oil up in that monument to Soviet Concretism, The Tower of Babble. Half an idea was refined and polished over many hours of allowance gathering. Until, at last there was unanimity among the bunch of nincompoops, they would let little Jimmy Pudden Face have his own way, (mainly we think to stop him stamping his feet and holding his breath 'til he looked like a boiled pudden.). And what plan did the masters of the universe come up with for the Cannon Street site? A drive thro M&S? The world's largest chip shop? A multi-storey skating rink? An after-school club for pre-school infants and lippy teenagers who can't even write their own name? A Playboy Bunny Club? Nope, none of these folks! One dim spark of a Council chair polisher thought it might be a good spot to build a new stadium for Latics, until it was pointed out to him that the plot was only half the required length. He wasn't easily dissuaded pointing out the savings to be made if they just built half a pitch and had both sides play toward the same end with goalkeepers swapping position depending on the colour of shirt approaching. But no! Our erected representatives are made of sterner stuff. So what long awaited delight are we to savour? What boon to the hard pressed folk of this burg has been unveiled? Wait for it folks.....Wait for it!!!! Are you ready? OK we've kept you in suspense far too long here it comes!!! (Loud fanfare from the massed trumpet of the OMBC official 'Blow your own trumpet band')

A NEW town-centre car park has opened on the site of the former Cannon Street Health Centre.

Well, piss-my-pants!!!!! Just the fuck what we needed!!!
Did you notice the deliberate mistake in that headline? That's right our numb-bollocked pile of arsewipes think Cannon Street is in the Town Centre. It isn't. The town centre is up a 'gentle incline' that just happens to be the steepest hill in that part of the mountains. It's also, a two raincoats and an umbrella and still pissed through, distance from the Town Centre in the rainy season (June). It probably feels a lot farther when the weather is really bad in the Oldham winter (July to May).

The oxygen wasting bastards said they hope the site, along with adjoining assets, will attract redevelopment of the area bounded by Cannon Street, Manchester Street and Oldham Way, including the former Sainsbury’s site. Oh, WOW!!! That could almost quadruple the number of parking spaces while at the same time pushing the southern boundary of our car parking ~~First Reich~~ operation ever closer to our goal of integration with the Manchester City Council Shudehill (Northern) Expansion Scheme. This plan envisages a continuous linear car park from Old Trafford to half-way up Standedge Cutting. This say the experts will ensure that no-one will be able to complain, 'there's nowhere to park".
Exciting future plans were revealed when it was disclosed that if just two more stores in Spingles close their doors, we can demolish the lot along with all of Yorkshire Street, (apart that is from the Old Town Hall which is being mooted as a pay station for the new extended car park) We should be able to accommodate thousands of cars when we get that lot sorted out. A few tons of tarmac and them gyppos will have us in the money in no time. People will come from miles around to park and watch the empty trams trundle past. (Oh, happy day @ £1.40 per hour)

Counc Diddy Dave Hibbert, cabinet member for Arseing, Traipsing and Degeneration, said: “These
proposals are a real boost for all the parties who are working together to help regenerate our town centre.
Explain exactly, Diddy, how this wets the panties of the know-nowt achieve-nowt denizens of the dark underbelly of this fly-blown excuse for civilisation? What exactly is it supposed to do for us, the poor bastards mugged by you and your congenital defects on OMBC. Why the fuck should we be dancing orgasmically in the streets? What the fuck is there left in Oldham town centre to come and park for? But don't you worry you simple tosser. The town is dying around your idea-less arseing about and all you mongs can think about is 'Another fucking car park.' Are you completely fucking barmy????????

Two beauties to end with, from the Diddy dave book of quotes for single celled organisms.

“No one wants to see a derelict building in the town centre fall into disrepair and become an eyesore."

WHAT!!!!! Listen you fuckwad. take a walk into what is left of Oldham town centre. Walk up to the Memorial To Our Glorious Dead (It's next to the Greaves Arms if you've never been), salute those gallant citizens of this town, who gave their lives, that we may live in this squalor. Then turn around 180 degrees and LOOK AT THE FUCKING SHIT HEAP YOU HAVE ALLOWED OUR TOWN HALL TO BECOME, YOU PARASITIC MONEY SPONGING WASTE OF SPERM!!!!!!

“The creation of the new car park will also mean there are more spaces for motorists to use when they are coming into the town centre to shop or work.”

SHOP??? Where the fuck at?? Everywhere is closing down you stupid twat! You've STOLEN our market! The only bastards employing anyone in the town centre would seem to be our local dishonourable MPs judging by the amounts being claimed for running constituency offices, and you fucking lot with your myriad managers who can't manage, executives who need executing and hangers-on who need fucking well hanging.
Anyhow, never mind Diddy baby something will probably turn up and save us, eh?

A word of warning though: If you think you see a light at the end of the tunnel - Run like fuck - It's an oncoming train!!

ARE ANY OF YOU BEGINNING TO REALISE IT YET? ....YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID ....NO !!

IS THIS COMPANY RUN BY EX OLDHAM COUNCILLORS? - Or are they just run of the mill crooks?

2011-07-11T02:19:00.003+01:00

OLDHAM Council is taking further legal action against Royton Assembly Hall’s owners Whispers Developments after they failed to attend talks yesterday over its future.
Council leader Jim Madman had previously arranged talks on June 15 and they didn't turn up then either.
He said: “The continued lack of a meaningful response from Whispers is evidence that they are either indifferent as to the blight the hall is having on the community or simply not competent enough to sort it. Either way, our patience has run out." From Jim Bob! Not competent enough to sort it? Indifferent to the blight etc.? TEN FUCKING YEARS this has been going on you cocksucker!!! Look in the freaking mirror you fucking moron. Ten years you and your accomplices on West Street have let this drag on. Not your fault is it Jimmy Boy?? No it never is!!!!

Pudden face then continued, "Today I have instructed officers to begin court proceedings against the developer and they should be under no illusions as to our resolve in bringing this saga to an end." “This matter is a priority and we will not budge from that stance.” "Well, 'appen a bit, but not a lot mind."

Oh no, gawd 'elp us! Which officers has he instructed one wonders in dread anticipation? Surely not the all conquering 'Vance Miller' crew? That local treasure the Borough Solicitor, perhaps. If he isn't suffering repetitive strain injury from all the road works/closures/diversions he's been signing off lately. You would think OMBC would be very wary of pursuing anyone into court especially as their fingers are still blistered. By the way anyone heard anything further on how much the tossers let us in for over the Miller fiasco?

Councillor Stephen Gushforth said: “The failure of Whispers to turn up for this meeting is an insult to the people of Royton. Oh, so the behaviour of OMBC and the Royton Councillors over the last ten years of inaction isn't an insult to the people of Royton?

“On numerous occasions over the years Whispers have repeatedly ignored our pleas to sit round a table and discuss the hall’s future.” They also ignored the courts and haven't paid the last fine imposed on them, which with costs now amounts to £6,700, so they are not likely to be trembling in their boots at not meeting Jim Bob and the ~~pussies~~ posse from hell. Mind you that's not the only thing Whispers has failed to do!

WHISPERS DEVELOPMENTS (UK) LTD

51 JULIA STREET

MANCHESTER

M3 1LN

Develop & sell real estate

Buying & sell own real estate

Companies House Details

Companies House Number: 04850027

Incorporation Date: 29 Jul 2003

Latest set of accounts: Filed on: 16 Jun 07
Made up to: 31 Jul 05
Last company return showing the directors and ownership details: Filed on: 10 Dec 2010

Made up to: 29 Jul 2010

Financial Year End31-07

Capital: £1.00 (as at 10 Dec 2010)

Accounts Overdue(as of 10 Jul 2011)

35 Company Documents Available

24 May 2011	DISS16(SOAS) - Compulsory strike off suspended
15 Mar 2011	GAZ1 - First notification of strike-off action in London Gazette (Section 652)
11 Dec 2010	DISS40 - Notice of striking-off action discontinued
10 Dec 2010	AR01 - Annual Return of company information (NOT ACCOUNTS)
23 Nov 2010	GAZ1 - First notification of strike-off action in London Gazette (Section 652)

Previous Company Names

UK SITE DEVELOPMENTS LTD Changed 19 Aug 2009

WHISPERS DEVELOPMENTS (UK) LIMITED Changed 06 Aug 2009

Charges / mortgages against this Company

CLOSE BROTHERS LIMITED THIRD PARTY LEGAL CHARGE - OUTSTANDING on 05 Feb 2009

CLYDESDALE BANK PLC DEBENTURE - OUTSTANDING on 02 Mar 2006

CLYDESDALE BANK PUBLIC LIMITED COMPANY LEGAL MORTGAGE - OUTSTANDING on 06 Jan 2006

Information last updated: 10 Jul 2011

PS Don't forget to check the seven day countdown clock in the right sidebar to see the lightning fast response team from OMBC ~~in action~~ inaction.

IT REALLY IS TIME WE PUT A STOP TO ALL THIS NONSENSE .... TELL THEM ....NO !!

IN 60 MILLION YEARS SCIENTISTS WILL PROBABLY SAY A GIANT METEOR DESTROYED THE TOWN - - - Or perhaps it was the local Council after all!

2011-07-10T23:46:00.000+01:00

WORKERS at BAE Systems in Chadderton were told last Thursday that the historic site is to close — with the loss of all remaining 200 jobs. Another piece of Oldham history flushed down the shitter of 'progress'. Watching the slow demise of this once thriving town is probably much like watching the extinction of the dinosaurs. With ever increasing pace once familiar and well loved institutions in the town are disappearing from the face of the earth. What is replacing them?? In no particular order:- Pound Shops- Fuck All - Derelict and abandoned buildings - Apathy - inertia - Pound Shops - Metrolink Escape route - Kebab Shops - Tents in the streets - Pound Shops - Car parks - Youth Clubs with seman diputs - also don't forget the Pound shops!

Outside the BAE site Oldham Councillor Dave Hibbert, cabinet member for arseing, traipsing and degeneration, said: “This is a disaster for the people who work here and their families. “We have officers in the degeneration department ready to advise these people on what jobs are available and what benefits they can get. Oooh, Diddy Dave, can you tell the rest of us what fucking jobs are available in the great wasteland? See, once again Lie-bour cannot think further than 'benefits'. This obsession with adding to the client state and they hope, their voter base, has now become ingrained in their collective psyche. They never see what's coming. There is no advanced planning, (no planning at all as a matter of fact). They are the proverbial shit cart at the rear of the Lord Mayors Parade, sweeping up the ordure left by their inaction, lack of vision and lack of any direction in which to lead the town. The trouble is most of the ordure joined the Lie-bour party and is now stinking out the Council Chamber.

The stupid little tosspot continued, “The closure will have no impact whatsoever on the local economy but it’s a sad day for Chadderton and Greater Manchester.” No impact you moronic little twat? What about all the local small businesses who will lose trade. What about the local ancilliary workers, cleaners, security etc.? What about the loss of business rates?

We recently blogged on a report that there were more than 770 vacant commercial premises in the town. How much is being lost in business rates there? 225 of these premises are in what remains of the town centre, which wasn't that big to start with. Now we have TJ Hughes going down the plughole. Thorntons will almost certainly pull out when their lease expires. The Jane Norman concession in Debenhams has failed. Can it be long before Debenhams pull out of the town? Walked through a couple of weeks ago, the place was empty. The prices are probably too high for PoundShop Oldham. Mike Flanagan, manager of Spindles and Town Square shopping centres and away with the fairies, said, a couple of weeks ago, just after JJB,HMV and Disney legged it into the night, "There is some room for optimism in a stable retail sector." S-T-A-B-L-E!! Three of his biggest names had just fucked off and he thinks that is stable! What now? One end has fallen off his world, t'other end is wobbling and several in-between are looking very unsteady on their feet.

Mike, baby, you are wearing the Emperors new clothes. If the promised heavy rains arrive and you see a straw gliding past snatch it and ride it out of town.

'OPERATOR- WE'VE GETTEN A BLAZE GOOIN' ON DAHN NEAR'T DOG.' .. "This is at Belle Vue?" 'Nah, yer pillock, dahn bi Cowhill!' "Is it a farm on fire?" 'Nah! yer great whazzock it's int' chip 'oyle!'

2011-07-09T00:50:00.000+01:00

Plans to route all Oldham’s 999 fire calls to Warrington were a “comprehensive failure” costing the taxpayer more than £1 million a year for rent on an empty building, a damning report has said.
The National Audit Office said the Fire control project launched by the previous Lie-bour government, was flawed from the start because it did not have the support of fire and rescue services.
Greater Manchester's current call centre was set to close under Lie-bour’s plans to streamline the current 46 local control rooms into nine centres, to improve the country’s ability to respond to terrorism, large-scale industrial accidents and natural disasters.
The entire North-West would have been dealt with from Warrington.

The coalition dumped the plans, which were initially expected to cost just £100m.last year, seven years after it started, but the NAO report revealed that at least £469 million had been wasted.

IT systems had never been delivered and eight of the new control centres remained empty and costly to maintain, said the report. London is the only centre being used.

It means the building purchased in Warrington is costing a staggering £99,792 a month — more than £1.19 million in rent a year but remains empty.

The Government has outlined a series of options for the future of the fire service but warns that it is tied into leases of up to 25 years on the regional buildings and if they are left empty that will mean a cut into the budget available for the brigades.

The National Audit Office report says: “Ineffective checks and balances during initiation and early stages meant the department for Communities and Local Government committed itself to the project on the basis of inaccurate estimates of costs and benefits and an unrealistic delivery timetable, and agreed an inadequate contract with its IT supplier.

“The department under-appreciated the project’s complexity, and then mismanaged the IT contractor’s performance and delivery.

“The department failed to provide the necessary leadership to make the project successful, over-relying on poorly-managed consultants and failing to sort out early problems with delivery by the contractor.” Once again we see Lie-bour being shafted by 'consultants'. These money grabbing bastards can see Lie-bour coming a mile off and immediately send off for their brochures for exotic foreign holidays.

Communities Secretary, Eric Pickles, said: “This official report represents another damning indictment of Labour’s track record on expensive IT projects. It is no surprise that Labour led the country to the brink of bankruptcy when they can’t even manage the spiralling costs of a misguided project.” Pickles owd lad, most of 'em can't manage to walk and talk at the same time, never mind lead anything or anyone. (That Pickles has come on a bit since he found the World Cup, hasn't he?)

Have you seen the fucking outrageous sums we are talking about here? Original cost est. £100M. Actual ~~outlay~~ total fucking waste of our money at termination, £469M! That's about 8 quid for every person in the country. For what?? Nine twatting control rooms! NINE!!

But it gets better. The tossers took out a twenty-five year lease on a building in Warrington to house this arse of a scheme. Rent? £99,792 per month, £1,197,500 per year! Over the twenty-five years if we are lumbered with the fucking white elephant for the full term of the lease, that's another £29, 937,600!

But wait! There are seven more of these useless fucking things dotted around the country. If they all cost approx the same, and , knowing Lie-bour they will have. Rent for all nine would be approx £898K per month, £10.75M per year, £269M over 25 years. For what? ONE control centre in guess where? London! And all it will have cost US, is £738,000,000! Three quarters of a Billion Quid.
Next time anyone tells you Lie-bour are not a totally incompetent money squandering set of tossers. Poke 'em in the eye with a sharp stick!